Do You Not Date White Men...

[SeatownSista]

I haven't dated a white man before, but I probably would if one approached me that I was attracted to. I'm rarely approached by white men in person, and the ones that express interest in me online are usually physically unappealing.

 

[carcajada]

^ No one is putting the USA down...just noting differences. Race is a big deal here and in other countries, race is not so much the issue, but class is.

I never get approached by white men here, unless they are foreign.

Better yet, show me a poster on here who doesn't have baggage that they claim they don't want in a man. He may not have it, but you certainly do.

 

[WhoIAm]

There aren't a lot of bwwm couples in good ole Texas, except probably Austin since it's such a college town.

There seem to be a large number in the Friendswood/Clearlake area.

 

[yardgirl]

I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.

Well this is rubbish if I ever heard it. I was watching Property Virgins on HGTV last night and this cute curly haired white guy was buying a house with his black fiance.

 

[Blackmagic]

There seem to be a large number in the Friendswood/Clearlake area.

Yep! That's where my parents are and I do see it from time to time also in Houston...

 

[metro_qt]

AND stop putting down the USA...this is the greatest modern society on the planet. Of course there are problematic elements. But show me a society where there are NO problematic elements. Jamaica, UK, Asia, or other wise. USA! USA! USA!

Remember... we are not *all* from the USA around here... different cultures=different points of view.. regarding your country...

 

[Enyo]

If he's an American I don't want him. Too much baggage, but I will flirt however.

You know, I thought that until last year when I met my male BF who will probably become my SO. I realized I had more baggage then he did, which was a shock to me. I still prefer Euro or Australian Whites, but there are American Whites who are baggage free.

 

[LunadeMiel]

Remember... we are not *all* from the USA around here... different cultures=different points of view.. regarding your country...

Exactly....

 

[cheetarah1980]

I too was never really approached by white men until I ventured into online dating and started hanging out with white people. From my personal experience at the end of the day men are men. However, there is definitely a difference in how a black man approaches a black woman and how a white man does. I've found that a black man has no problem walking up to a random female stranger and hitting on her. White men usually need an "in" before they try to kick some game. Without that "in" they can think you're really attractive but they won't do anything about it. That's why so many white men approach black women online. The whole point of the website is to get a date so that's the launch pad.
Also if you're hanging out in the presence of other white people it lowers their inhibitions because they see that you're obviously comfortable socializing in the same environment. Remember that people date who they're around. So if you're around white people, a white man will more likely conclude that you'd be open to date him. That's probably why they were more willing to put it out there in those circumstances.
No, not all white men are racist. I will say that many do try to overcompensate by talking about how much they love black people and that we're so cool and fun and blah blah blah. However, that's moreso an insecurity on their part. I actually find it very uncomfortable when a white guy starts gushing about how much he loves black people. Heck, I don't even love black people that much so I don't know why he does . Yes, I will admit that a lot of white men have racial blind spots and can be ignorant. However that's usually from lack of interaction with people of other races. And honestly from a lot of the responses in this thread we display a similar type of ignorance when it comes to relating to them.
At the end of the day it's about attraction and comfort. If you never hang out with white people and are never approached by white men the whole "do you or do you not date white men" is pretty much a moot point.

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.

I don't really like your friend's comment. I don't think any person can speak for an entire race of men or women whether they are of that race or not. She may know a couple people that fall into that category, but she doesn't know all white men. We're all individuals afterall

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

This summer I was really happy with my length and new color and began wearing more and more Huge blown out fro's when I went out....it was like the floodgates opened and white men were beating down the doors crossing the streets getting on the wrong train just to sit next to me, offering to drive me anywhere take me anywhere. Its been crazy. Its been mainly Europeans and They. Go. IN. they do not play lol

On the one hand its fun, I have no racial preferences, I'm attracted to the race of HOT and focus on character.... that can come in every shade of the rainbow in my book. I have no inferiority complexes, I was recently out on the rooftop of the hudson hotel with a bunch of girlfriends and we were being treated to an evening out with a Rugby team from the UK (the hottest english accents ever!) They reserved a table for us and we were getting drinks poured for us all night their treat. The Becky's were in disbelief and hating harrrrd on several occasions and I just give them a look like yea, we are the flyest ones in this place....AND? thats fun sometimes.

On the other hand, I'm weeding out those that are just "black curious" and those that have a genuine interest in me sometimes I am suspicious but only when they give me reason to be....its just like with any other man. So far I have two European businessmen telling me to choose any restaurant I want to go to in the city and they will pick me up and drive me there, I'm never allowed to pay for a thing. One of them just asked if he could take me out every day for the rest of my vacation and I told him "I'd get back to him"

Both of them treat me like my name is Queen Nefertiti and I like getting driven around in Benz's enjoying what Manhattan has to offer me so I'm enjoying myself right now. If they want to treat me to a whole buncha stuff then you know what, I'll let em.

I'm all about dating and seeing what life has to offer me these days. I've found the total package before and I hope to find it again. I'm giving them a try and keeping my options open untill I actually have the title of girlfriend with someone. I'm just kinda easy breezy right about now.

 

[Ediese]

There seem to be a large number in the Friendswood/Clearlake area.

Really? I hardly ever visit that part of town. I know in Houston/Sugar Land, it's a rare site.

 

[Godyssey]

I too was never really approached by white men until I ventured into online dating and started hanging out with white people. From my personal experience at the end of the day men are men. However, there is definitely a difference in how a black man approaches a black woman and how a white man does. I've found that a black man has no problem walking up to a random female stranger and hitting on her. White men usually need an "in" before they try to kick some game. Without that "in" they can think you're really attractive but they won't do anything about it. That's why so many white men approach black women online. The whole point of the website is to get a date so that's the launch pad.
Also if you're hanging out in the presence of other white people it lowers their inhibitions because they see that you're obviously comfortable socializing in the same environment. Remember that people date who they're around. So if you're around white people, a white man will more likely conclude that you'd be open to date him. That's probably why they were more willing to put it out there in those circumstances.
No, not all white men are racist. I will say that many do try to overcompensate by talking about how much they love black people and that we're so cool and fun and blah blah blah. However, that's moreso an insecurity on their part. I actually find it very uncomfortable when a white guy starts gushing about how much he loves black people. Heck, I don't even love black people that much so I don't know why he does . Yes, I will admit that a lot of white men have racial blind spots and can be ignorant. However that's usually from lack of interaction with people of other races. And honestly from a lot of the responses in this thread we display a similar type of ignorance when it comes to relating to them.
At the end of the day it's about attraction and comfort. If you never hang out with white people and are never approached by white men the whole "do you or do you not date white men" is pretty much a moot point.

I agree with everything you said. Personally, I've met lot's of white guys at work, guys that I considered my friends. If I meet someone at work or a friend of a friend I'm comfortable. However, if a stranger approaches me on the street or something, then I'll wonder...hmmm....what does he want? Especially since he wouldn't know my personality. I'd think all that he see's is black female. In a night club I don't get suspicious cause most guys are drunk and I'm usually half naked, so in that situation what any man would want is obvious.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Out Of Distrust???

Firstly, I will state that I have dated white men and don't have a problem with it. However, there was one particular time when I met a white guy who creeped me out. He didn't do anything weird, I guess. He approached me, said he thought I was good looking or something to that effect, offered to buy me a beer and invited my friend and I sit with him and his friends. I was flattered at first, but then I thought, this guy is super cute. We were at a large sporting event so there were lot's of white girls around that he could hit on. What did he want with me?

I think this reaction is more about you then it is about him. Some white men simply find our features more appealing and many times quite simply, we ARE the prettiest finest most gorgeous woman in the room.

The notion that you would suspect him for approaching you in a room full of white women means that you need to do some personal work because you should not be surprised by such an action. You reaction should be "of course he wants to talk to me"

Then, I began to wonder if he was crazy, like a serial killer or if he was going to slip something in my drink and kidnap me. So, I told him "no thanks" and left to my seat. Now, I know if it were a good looking man of color, I would've taken him up on his offer.

Methinks you may have watched a few too many crime shows

So, my question is have you ever not gone out with someone because the situation felt weird to you, because he was white?

Only if he was giving off blatent red flags. Otherwise, they have the same shot with me that other races have. There no need to be suspicious from the first instant he comes up to you...give him a chance to make a first impression.

I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

There are alot of stereotypes that could be ascribed to us, but I'm sure we wouldn't want men assuming we fit it upon meeting us

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women.

Bold faced LIE, don't know where you live but there are countless gorgeous White guys drooling over Black women here in NYC.

She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.

I think you should re-read that statement to absorb how preposterous it sounds lol.....I mean seriously, she's clearly just trying to make it so that you never believe white men are an option for you. My advice is be open to all possibilities and judge people as individuals.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19) and had lot's of life experience, so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.

Your friend is a fool. I really worry about people who take advice from someone solely on the basis of them being an older person. You know how many old fools there are? How many idiots reach middle age without getting hit by a bus? SMDH.

Co-sign with BMP about European dudes. They love black women like American men love Asian chicks. They don't have to pussyfoot around, do any mental excavation or whatever before stepping to a fly black woman. They see what they want and proceed to make their feelings known. I can really appreciate that. Plus it's so cute seeing the different mannerisms they have like the way they use utensils is so different, the way they dress etc. And who could resist a foreign accent!

White American men can be cool as well, but in my experience there may be MORE misunderstandings because of the way American culture has reared us to think that race is the sole determinant of 90% of things about a person. Seems like most of us here believe that a black dentist from Wisconsin would have more in common with a black goat-herder from Cameroon than they would with a white dentist from Wisconsin lol. It's just crazy.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Your friend is a fool. I really worry about people who take advice from someone solely on the basis of them being an older person. You know how many old fools there are? How many idiots reach middle age without getting hit by a bus? SMDH.

Her "friend" knew exactly what she was doin, look how she got her sabotaging her own self to this day

Co-sign with BMP about European dudes. They love black women like American men love Asian chicks.

You aint NEVA lied.

They don't have to pussyfoot around, do any mental excavation or whatever before stepping to a fly black woman. They see what they want and proceed to make their feelings known. I can really appreciate that.

Amen, assertive and take charge, while still being respectful.

I mean they LOVE us to the point that when Euro #1 took me out on my first date he thanked me for the honor of allowing him to take me out....(in my head I was like well damn but now I'm getting used to it!) when we talk on the phone he's always saying how happy he is to hear from me and thank you for ths great conversation I'm starting to get used to being treated like this but in the beginning I was like...WOW but now that I've dated a few more of them, I'm seeing they just adore us lmao, They will push 14 blondes aside for the chance to talk to you...real talk.

Plus it's so cute seeing the different mannerisms they have like the way they use utensils is so different, the way they dress etc. And who could resist a foreign accent!

The accents are so cute lol

My motto is date who you're attracted to and whomever treats you the way you deserve to be treated. It seems my top two types are Black Guys and European Guys in no specific order, but if you're hot and polite, then you can get a chance, why not? Dating is about exploring and having fun.....dont be so quick to turn someone down because of old irrational hang-ups.

 

[Renewed1]

I agree with you. I see myself dating more European men; I find them more attractive and my speed.

American men.....I'm not sure.

If he's an American I don't want him. Too much baggage, but I will flirt however.

 

[Enyo]

Yeah I love Europeans. I'm still considering marrying one to get into the EU.

Yeah, I said it.

 

[Blackmagic]

Yeah I love Europeans. I'm still considering marrying one to get into the EU.

Yeah, I said it.

You're not the only one...

 

[lushcoils]

*Seriously considering moving to New York and/or Europe*


Yes, it's been that dry.

 

[Enyo]

You're not the only one...

It's not even a game, girl. LOL! But to me it's win/win. I don't really see myself marrying again, but if I find the right man then I'm sure I'd be happy. If I truly love someone, I'd move pretty much anywhere to be with them. But why not pick a guy that already lives where you want to be and can help you get something you really want.

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

You're not the only one...

Girl don't have no shame in it. I was actually googling, "marriage of convenience (sp)" not too long ago lol. I was stationed in Italy and I loved it. I wanna go back.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

I know that the serial killer thing is way out there... my point was that because of the stereotypes, one may be afraid of any hidden alterior motive if they show interest.

Secondly, I believe my second guessing of why a very attractive white guy would be interested in me, stems from what a white friend once told me years prior to that incident. She told me that you never see attractive white men with black women. She said that attractive white men date attractive white women because they can get them easily and they don't have to deal with the baggage that comes with a mixed relationship. She then explained that less attractive white guys will date attractive black women because they're easier for them to obtain than attractive white women.

Now, I was a pretty young girl at the time and this was a friend of mine. She was much older than me (at the time she was in her mid thirties and I was perhaps 19In other words, you were looking like ka-pa-yow, and she was a white woman pushing 40) and had lot's of life experienceIn other words, she has thrown herself at lots of white men over the past few decades and has yet to stick... she has experience=she ain't got nobody., so I trusted what she had to say in general (not on this topic alone). So, based on that logic...if you want to call it that, I became suspicious when that guy approached me. Perhaps, that was my "friends" way of making sure that I never treaded in on her territory, lol.

C'mon daughter!

 

[kmn1980]

Let me play it safe and just say no, I didn't date white men and had no interest in doing so.

 

[Optimus_Prime]

Your friend is a fool. I really worry about people who take advice from someone solely on the basis of them being an older person. You know how many old fools there are? How many idiots reach middle age without getting hit by a bus? SMDH.

Co-sign with BMP about European dudes. They love black women like American men love Asian chicks. They don't have to pussyfoot around, do any mental excavation or whatever before stepping to a fly black woman. They see what they want and proceed to make their feelings known. I can really appreciate that. Plus it's so cute seeing the different mannerisms they have like the way they use utensils is so different, the way they dress etc. And who could resist a foreign accent!

White American men can be cool as well, but in my experience there may be MORE misunderstandings because of the way American culture has reared us to think that race is the sole determinant of 90% of things about a person. Seems like most of us here believe that a black dentist from Wisconsin would have more in common with a black goat-herder from Cameroon than they would with a white dentist from Wisconsin lol. It's just crazy.

I just want to throw a CHURCH and a TABERNACLE on this entire post. Carry on.

 

[carcajada]

There seem to be a large number in the Friendswood/Clearlake area.

There's a lot everywhere! Ediese needs to get out more. Go west towards el paso, they're there. Go north towards OK, they are there. Go south towards Brownsville, they are there.

 

[Ganjababy]

Because I just loves me some black men................

 

[frida1980]

Yeah, a older white woman with experience. Hee...

I've had that same talk with an older white woman. I was close to her, so I was crushed when she told me blankly that God had told her that my husband would be black because I didn't my life didn't need the trouble. This was during my on and off again thing with my ex who's white. Of course, this woman is very single and has had bad history with men (physical abuse), but is still dependent on relationships. After some time I realized that even with the kindest intentions, white women succumb to racism when it comes to men. They internally believe that attractive white men would always pick them, no matter how plain or ugly they are, over a black woman, no matter how attractive or compatible.

I remember showing my WBF a picture of my ex for the first time. We've been talking about him for several months, and she knew how much I loved him. The moment she saw him, she looked stunned and then said " He looks like... MY kind of guy." Keep in mind her type of guy is someone military or police and the looks go from bad to average. In fact she really doesn't care about looks as long as you're in the military. So when she said that (ultimate no no, in rules for BFF), I realized that because of his looks she'd thought she was a better match. (LIE) This is not the first time this has happened. Attract a good looking white man and watch white woman turn on you.

WW are women just the same. Just like a lot of BW will get inexplicably upset when a WW lands a BM, WW will get just as annoyed when you land a WM, especially a hottie. If you notice, WW also get hostile when you're noticeably attractive. I think they'd rather that we'd pick up the undesirables so there are more hotties for them. They want to believe that black woman don't deserve a black man because they perceive themselves as superior. They'll delude themselves into believing that all BW are sluts and hot WM are just looking for sex. Shame that attraction doesn't always work that way.

And yeah, europeans LOVE BW. I think a lot of my white female friends were pretty upset when the hot German chose me and practically ignored them.

 

[Moopeh]

I should take my french citizenship and boggie on down to the EU!!! Sounds like the place to be from what you guys are saying.

 

[Moopeh]

Her "friend" knew exactly what she was doin, look how she got her sabotaging her own self to this day


btw I love you hair... *sigh*