Everything was cool until he____(fill in the blank)

Tried to fit it in there...




No I am lying. I like it there too...




Just kidding lol.


Tried to gag me with his strudel. Phelem in my hair is not sexy.

Mentioned he had sex with an extraterrestrial named Boflufhelio. I was like "you *such and so* It was cheating on me with you!"
 
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Everything was cool until he told me to check out his court records. He had told me he'd been arrested before, and what it was for. Little did I know that when I checked, it was 11 different cases!

When I asked him about the sexual abuse (mind you, I had already "Xed" him out, I was just curious) he said it was an ex that lied...but he still talks to her! RIIIIIIIIIGHT.
 
I was talking to this guy on IM at work. We hadn't met yet officially, but were communicating. He asked me to discribe myself because I told him that I think I've seen him around base. I told him I was natural. He said "Don't tell me you are walking around nappy." That was it. After I told him off I didnt speak to him again.
 
My pre-DH days:

--until he begged to borrow $80 to pay a vet bill for his dog, used it to buy me a size 10 ring (I wear a 5) for Valentine's Day and then told me I couldn't wear it because it said "I love you" inside it and "we aren't in love yet." Then bragged about it to his frat brothers.

--took me to his room and when I sat on his bed (because he had no other furniture) and I saw another woman's hair all on the bedspread.

--pulled down his pants and I realized my super tampons were much bigger.

--asked me to drive him home because his "car was in the shop" only to find out he lived with his parents and asked me to stay in the car bc I wasn't ready to meet them yet!

--lied about his age (I thought only women did that!)

-- asked me where I wanted to go for dinner, I say "Anywhere BUT TGI Fridays, I can't stand their food" only to pull up to TGI Friday's to meet his friends and their kid... Did I mention this was the first date?
 
Oh!!!!

-- until he asked me to pee for him because he had a drug test for his job and didn't think he would pass!

***this thread made me laugh and made me even more grateful for DH!!!
 
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Oneprettypa said:
My pre-DH days:

--until he begged to borrow $80 to pay a vet bill for his dog, used it to buy me a size 10 ring (I wear a 5) for Valentine's Day and then told me I couldn't wear it because it said "I love you" inside it and "we aren't in love yet." Then bragged about it to his frat brothers.

--took me to his room and when I sat on his bed (because he had no other furniture) and I saw another woman's hair all on the bedspread.

--pulled down his pants and I realized my super tampons were much bigger.

--asked me to drive him home because his "car was in the shop" only to find out he lived with his parents and asked me to stay in the car bc I wasn't ready to meet them yet!

--lied about his age (I thought only women did that!)

-- asked me where I wanted to go for dinner, I say "Anywhere BUT TGI Fridays, I can't stand their food" only to pull up to TGI Friday's to meet his friends and their kid... Did I mention this was the first date?
Click to expand...

:blush::nono::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen::lol::lol:
 
- he asked me if we could be friends with benefits after I broke up with him.
- he complained that I ordered dinner that cost $2.00 more than his.
 
I have more, (why God? Why have I been led out??)

I subord at work asked me out for months. He seemed...ok so I said ok. We can watch football. I was going to a wedding but wasn't going to stay. He was working until 3PM.

I meeth im at 3:45 and heis completely drunk. Stumbling around, slurring, sloppy. And was like, hey what's up???

Me: trying to leaving, and being cordial

Him: trying to kiss me "I know how much you've like me?
.
Me: ....(Delusion fairy?????)

Finally got out of that one, yikes. First date. Scary
 
Oneprettypa said:
My pre-DH days:

--until he begged to borrow $80 to pay a vet bill for his dog, used it to buy me a size 10 ring (I wear a 5) for Valentine's Day and then told me I couldn't wear it because it said "I love you" inside it and "we aren't in love yet." Then bragged about it to his frat brothers.
Click to expand...

Wait..... WHAT?! :drunk: You bought your own ring but couldn't wear it? My brain hurts....
 
It actually caused my job to change their policies company wide. This fool internet stalked the mess out of me. Just reminded me to be a lil safer online. Also...dont use the same screenname everywhere.
His surprise went...badly. My boss is cool as heck...shes a lesbian "stud". Her and I swap dating stories, so I had mentioned this white boy before. She could tell from the look on my face what the goings ons were, and she was like...nawl. She handled it for me quickly and she was very discreet, so my coworkers didnt have a clue. She had the finesse of a woman but the handling skills of a man. Im like...thx girl.
 
Everything was cool until he told me "Let me tell you a few things about being a proper lady".

You have a penis, yet you are well versed in the Art of Womanhood huh?

Please explain.

All this because I cursed. Umm...if the b word offends you, go on then because I'm going to say a whole lot more you aint gonna like I promise you that! :lol:
 
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dannie said:
Everything was cool until he told me "Let me tell you a few things about being a proper lady".

You have a penis, yet you are well versed in the Art of Womanhood huh?

Please explain.

All this because I cursed. Umm...if the b word offends you, go on then because I'm going to say a whole lot more you aint gonna like I promise you that! :lol:
Click to expand...

What?!?! What kind of homosexual mysogynistic bullcrap was that? Oh hell no. Oh HELL no.
 
......*confessed* to me that he fantasized about a threesome with me, him and my MOM!
Sick mama's boy bastid!!!

Dude was 3 yrs younger than me too.
 
Sosa said:
......*confessed* to me that he fantasized about a threesome with me, him and my MOM!
Sick mama's boy bastid!!!

Dude was 3 yrs younger than me too.
Click to expand...

How long was he in the hospital? Is he still in physical therapy?

I can't see any mentions on my IPhone. PM me if it is a must see. Allons y
 
Ok. I was working at the Wayne County Jail in Detroit, MI. This poor man tells me about him and Stokley. I thought oh this man is crazy talking about Stokley Charmichael. sp. Someone said the brother was an enforcer for the black panthers. I thought, I guess he really did know stokley....It was a jail.
 
I was seeing this guy. He told me my mama was really sexy. I did not really see her that way. He told me, I am glad to have the daughter....
 
chickle said:
he asked to lick my butthole, and even though i said no, he would still try to do it when face painting

he had a cat who he bought many expensive gifts, but couldn't even get me a valentines day gift. also he kept a litter box in his room and his room literally smelled like cat piss.

most of the time we went on dates, his mother would be there.

he ordered an appetizers and some wine, while i just got a basic meal and at the end he wanted to split the check 50/50 and justified it by saying i had taken a bite of his appetizer.

i found out he was flirting with trannies

he asked my favorite position after my first day of meeting him

his peen look exactly liked a jalapeno pepper

i took a shower at his place and when i got out, i saw him prancing around in my bra
Click to expand...

Chuckle This is so funny. My throat is hurting!:lachen:
 
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