What Was This? Was I Wrong?

He seems really socially awkward. Did you notice this before?

Let him be! Trying to adjust to his moods, and pleading for him to open up doesn't sound like to much fun. Something as simple as watching a movie shouldn't be so difficult. Don't take on his issues, because you can easily start over analyzing and thinking the issue is you.

Has he tried to call to apologize?


Eta: Maybe he has aspergers ? Is he an intellectual?
 
God_Favor said:
He seems really socially awkward. Did you notice this before?

Let him be! Trying to adjust to his moods, and pleading for him to open up doesn't sound like to much fun. Something as simple as watching a movie shouldn't be so difficult. Don't take on his issues, because you can easily start over analyzing and thinking the issue is you.

Has he tried to call to apologize?


Eta: Maybe he has aspergers ? Is he an intellectual?
Click to expand...

Yeah, I said in the OP that he came across as awkward sometimes. But he was also sweet at times. I'm one of those people that tries to see the good in people.

Now I really do think he may have aspergers, social anxiety, something. I just don't understand why he asked to come over if he was going to act like that. He seemed smart--has a masters, works in some type of graphic design/advertising type job, but I think I am too much for him. His nickname for me was "Busybody". I haven't heard from him, and it's for the best. I hope he finds what he's looking for. :yep:

I've been dating a lot, but I'm sooo sick of it. It's tiring! I'm meeting a guy I went out with before for drinks tomorrow. The thread in this forum gave me the courage to repurpose a once potential bae into a FWB. He came over last night. Yesss lawd. I'm going to just enjoy the holidays and take a break from dating until the new year I think. It's exhausting
 
gimbap said:
He texted me. I'm too tired and confused to update now :lol: but I responded. I'll update tomorrow
Click to expand...
Why yew do dis tuh us?! Leave us hanging!!
But-Why-GIF.gif
 
Op, don't be all day, this thread has me rolling! ! :lol:
Dude perched on the couch with his coat and hat still on, tryna watch the movie, telling Op to look up the website, wtf?! :lachen:
I'm not looking forward to getting back out there. I may be single soon, and all I want is a smash buddy. I don't have time nor energy for all this!
 
Sorry yall! The convo is still ongoing and I don't have time to type everything out now, but from the things he's said/how he interpreted certain things (example--he took me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat as me trying to "control the situation"), I think he does indeed have aspergers or some other social anxiety
 
ScorpioBeauty09 said:
Your mom sounds like my mom. o_O:lachen: It would be so her to tell me to apologize if I was in your shoes. You did nothing wrong. Even shy guys talk about their hobbies. I can't believe he told you to "respect his boundaries." I'm the most guarded and slowest-person-in-relationships person ever, but no way would I invite a man I'm dating over simply just to talk with no cuddling or something physical. IJS. Are you sure he's straight because I really can't picture a straight man saying something like this lol.:lol:

Cut your losses and move on.
Click to expand...


This Is why I don't Invite or go to a guys home anymore. I hate that expectation for things to be physical. I would not feel comfortable with a guy making such an assumption if I invited him over and I'd feel lightweight offended.
I guess I'd be one of the weird ones that actually would want to watch the movie and talk.
 
gimbap said:
Sorry yall! The convo is still ongoing and I don't have time to type everything out now, but from the things he's said/how he interpreted certain things (example--he took me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat as me trying to "control the situation"), I think he does indeed have aspergers or some other social anxiety
Click to expand...

Nah I think it was you in that little pajama set that made him feel like he was losing control. I think he wanted to see you but wasn't expecting you to look so cute, comfy, and sexy. He'd only been on 2-3 dates with you fully clothed, then bam you in that cute little set and all flirty and what not. Po little nervous thing didn't know what to do with himself.
 
hopeful said:
Nah I think it was you in that little pajama set that made him feel like he was losing control. I think he wanted to see you but wasn't expecting you to look so cute, comfy, and sexy. He'd only been on 2-3 dates with you fully clothed, then bam you in that cute little set and all flirty and what not. Po little nervous thing didn't know what to do with himself.
Click to expand...

I'd agree, but then he shouldn't have been talking all that junk about what he would do to her.

Put up or shut up. :look:

gimbap said:
Sorry yall! The convo is still ongoing and I don't have time to type everything out now, but from the things he's said/how he interpreted certain things (example--he took me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat as me trying to "control the situation"), I think he does indeed have aspergers or some other social anxiety
Click to expand...

And here I thought taking their outer garments was being a good hostess.

This couldn't work with me, but I tend to be socially awkward, so two of us together would be terrible.
 
gimbap said:
Sorry yall! The convo is still ongoing and I don't have time to type everything out now, but from the things he's said/how he interpreted certain things (example--he took me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat as me trying to "control the situation"), I think he does indeed have aspergers or some other social anxiety
Click to expand...

:rolleyes:

He sounds like he'd be exhausting, whatever the reason for his issues. I'd have to keep it moving.
 
Some of the responses here have been entertaining, however considering i live in a College Town
I have a question for those of you who feel so strongly that he should have showed up "ready to Netflix and Chill"

When does "No" mean "No"? When does someone or yourself have the right to say "Nope not tonight"?

Were the gender roles switched would her crossing the threshold of his apartment indicate that she was DTF?
​
REAL Talk, their exchange highlights the some of the challenges that occur when the man is an Introvert and the woman is an Extrovert; research shows that the relationships are easier if it is the other way around. As indicated by his followup text he was thrown off by her "level of enthusiasm about the evening"; ....yeah, he felt out of control/or his element and he threw his walls up.


It is not is crime to be socially awkward.
Says the INFP,
 
hopeful said:
Nah I think it was you in that little pajama set that made him feel like he was losing control. I think he wanted to see you but wasn't expecting you to look so cute, comfy, and sexy. He'd only been on 2-3 dates with you fully clothed, then bam you in that cute little set and all flirty and what not. Po little nervous thing didn't know what to do with himself.
Click to expand...

:yep:

He texted me as I was about to fall asleep saying "Are you okay?" I was thinking...does he think I'm here sad and crying? :lol: I responded, Yes, why wouldn't I be? Are you? And he said "I don't know...yeah"

He went on to say he felt like I was trying to control the situation by getting him to talk, making suggestions. I said trying to have a conversation is not trying to be in control...were we supposed to sit there in silence? And me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat was just me trying to be a good host, make him feel comfortable. Seeing where this was going, I said "I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable"--I'm a nice person, and obviously those weren't my intentions.

That evening, when I asked him the question and he responded by telling me to look it up, I went on to say "I don't want to look it up on the website. I want to hear it from you. That's what people do, they converse" etc. He said he felt like I was having a control freak hissy fit. Sigh. Ok.

Seeing that this was going nowhere, we said goodnight. Maybe 10 min later I get another text: "How did you expect that night to end?"

I responded by saying after his previous sexual comments, idk if I would have taken it that far :look:, but I was ok with kissing (we've given pecks before), touching. After all, we're adults. It's okay.

I asked him the same question. He responded:
"When you opened the door, you look so pretty that I wanted to kiss you right then and there and then make you cum so I could hear you moan."

:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:

He then said:
"Hit me up when you're ready for that"

chris-rock-huh-face.gif


Yall I wrote a paragraph. If that's the case, why were you on the couch frozen?? Why were you talking about boundaries and freaking out when I touched you?

Long story short: He said he was trying to process everything but it was too much.

Our conversation is still going on. I don't have my phone with me right now, but I'm trying to get him to understand that I'm not judging him. It seriously sounds like he's an aspie, or has some type of anxiety issues.

Yall I kinda feel bad for him. I still say I'm not up for a project, but I don't want to hurt him either.
 
gimbap said:
:yep:

He texted me as I was about to fall asleep saying "Are you okay?" I was thinking...does he think I'm here sad and crying? :lol: I responded, Yes, why wouldn't I be? Are you? And he said "I don't know...yeah"

He went on to say he felt like I was trying to control the situation by getting him to talk, making suggestions. I said trying to have a conversation is not trying to be in control...were we supposed to sit there in silence? And me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat was just me trying to be a good host, make him feel comfortable. Seeing where this was going, I said "I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable"--I'm a nice person, and obviously those weren't my intentions.

That evening, when I asked him the question and he responded by telling me to look it up, I went on to say "I don't want to look it up on the website. I want to hear it from you. That's what people do, they converse" etc. He said he felt like I was having a control freak hissy fit. Sigh. Ok.

Seeing that this was going nowhere, we said goodnight. Maybe 10 min later I get another text: "How did you expect that night to end?"

I responded by saying after his previous sexual comments, idk if I would have taken it that far :look:, but I was ok with kissing (we've given pecks before), touching. After all, we're adults. It's okay.

I asked him the same question. He responded:
"When you opened the door, you look so pretty that I wanted to kiss you right then and there and then make you cum so I could hear you moan."

:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:

He then said:
"Hit me up when you're ready for that"

chris-rock-huh-face.gif


Yall I wrote a paragraph. If that's the case, why were you on the couch frozen?? Why were you talking about boundaries and freaking out when I touched you?

Long story short: He said he was trying to process everything but it was too much.

Our conversation is still going on. I don't have my phone with me right now, but I'm trying to get him to understand that I'm not judging him. It seriously sounds like he's an aspie, or has some type of anxiety issues.

Yall I kinda feel bad for him. I still say I'm not up for a project, but I don't want to hurt him either.
Click to expand...

Noooooooo!

You don't engage with crazy people! It's impossible to wrap your mind around how they think. The conversations will continue on as they have. No slow fade necessary. Time to disappear.
 
Ivonnovi said:
Some of the responses here have been entertaining, however considering i live in a College Town
I have a question for those of you who feel so strongly that he should have showed up "ready to Netflix and Chill"

When does "No" mean "No"? When does someone or yourself have the right to say "Nope not tonight"?

Were the gender roles switched would her crossing the threshold of his apartment indicate that she was DTF?
​
REAL Talk, their exchange highlights the some of the challenges that occur when the man is an Introvert and the woman is an Extrovert; research shows that the relationships are easier if it is the other way around. As indicated by his followup text he was thrown off by her "level of enthusiasm about the evening"; ....yeah, he felt out of control/or his element and he threw his walls up.


It is not is crime to be socially awkward.
Says the INFP,
Click to expand...

It's not a crime, but he led her on. If the roles were were reversed I'd think the girl was being "extra" by keeping her coat on. If a woman is uncomfortable with a situation, she should excuse herself or NOT invite herself over. Also he was rude! It wasn't just a miscommunication, he has a difficult time with simple interactions. Forget about sex, he needs to learn how to act when he comes over to people's homes.

Btw, this guy is beyond introverted. I know true introverts. They don't act like they have developmental delays.
 
Last edited:
gimbap said:
:yep:

He texted me as I was about to fall asleep saying "Are you okay?" I was thinking...does he think I'm here sad and crying? :lol: I responded, Yes, why wouldn't I be? Are you? And he said "I don't know...yeah"

He went on to say he felt like I was trying to control the situation by getting him to talk, making suggestions. I said trying to have a conversation is not trying to be in control...were we supposed to sit there in silence? And me suggesting that he take off his hat and coat was just me trying to be a good host, make him feel comfortable. Seeing where this was going, I said "I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable"--I'm a nice person, and obviously those weren't my intentions.

That evening, when I asked him the question and he responded by telling me to look it up, I went on to say "I don't want to look it up on the website. I want to hear it from you. That's what people do, they converse" etc. He said he felt like I was having a control freak hissy fit. Sigh. Ok.

Seeing that this was going nowhere, we said goodnight. Maybe 10 min later I get another text: "How did you expect that night to end?"

I responded by saying after his previous sexual comments, idk if I would have taken it that far :look:, but I was ok with kissing (we've given pecks before), touching. After all, we're adults. It's okay.

I asked him the same question. He responded:
"When you opened the door, you look so pretty that I wanted to kiss you right then and there and then make you cum so I could hear you moan."

:huh: :huh: :huh: :huh:

He then said:
"Hit me up when you're ready for that"

chris-rock-huh-face.gif


Yall I wrote a paragraph. If that's the case, why were you on the couch frozen?? Why were you talking about boundaries and freaking out when I touched you?

Long story short: He said he was trying to process everything but it was too much.

Our conversation is still going on. I don't have my phone with me right now, but I'm trying to get him to understand that I'm not judging him. It seriously sounds like he's an aspie, or has some type of anxiety issues.

Yall I kinda feel bad for him. I still say I'm not up for a project, but I don't want to hurt him either.
Click to expand...

Oh my god! That is hilarious!

Hit me up when you're ready for that?

Girl....I would have hurt his feelings so bad.
 
metro_qt said:
If he knew he had anxiety or control issues, that something he should mention to people before hand.
Click to expand...

This is what I wish he would've done. I knew he was shy and quiet, but I didn't think he would act like that.
Basically I was in there like:
giphy.gif


and he was in there thinking:
dis-tew-much-catfish.jpg


All of your comments are cracking me up :lol: I guess because I actually know him and have experienced his "good side", I feel for him. But not enough to keep seeing him
 
keyawarren said:
It's not a crime, but he led her on. If the roles were were reversed I'd think the girl was being "extra" by keeping her coat on. If a woman is uncomfortable with a situation, you excuse yourself. Plus he was rude! It wasn't just a miscommunication, he has a difficult time with simple interactions. Forget about sex, he needs to learn how to act when he comes over to people's homes.

Btw, this guy is beyond introverted. I know true introverts. They don't act like they have developmental delays.
Click to expand...

Agreed. And while I agree that everyone has the right to say no, but for me, I'm careful not to engage men in a sexual manner (especially an explicit manner) if I'm not ready to take it to that level.
 
I just want to add, my brother is an introvert and is bipolar. In the past I have escorted him to his appointments due to his anxiety. That's how severe it is. Despite having a disability, he has superb dating etiquette (and good game apparently :lachen:). He forwarded me a letter that a woman wrote him recently. Apparently he was courting a few ladies and he rejected two of them when he chose his current gf. One of the rejects sent him a letter thanking him for how fun their dates were and how great he is even though he didn't choose her. He always discloses his disability to his dates out of integrity and to educate people along the way. It's amazing how he gets around. But yeah, anyway, your dude sounds straight up special.
 
gimbap said:
This is what I wish he would've done. I knew he was shy and quiet, but I didn't think he would act like that.
Basically I was in there like:
giphy.gif


and he was in there thinking:
dis-tew-much-catfish.jpg


All of your comments are cracking me up :lol: I guess because I actually know him and have experienced his "good side", I feel for him. But not enough to keep seeing him
Click to expand...

Omg this whole thing is hilarious! :lachen: awwwww he was scared OP! :lol: I wonder if he's a virgin? Lol how old is he?
 
keyawarren said:
It's not a crime, but he led her on. If the roles were were reversed I'd think the girl was being "extra" by keeping her coat on. If a woman is uncomfortable with a situation, she should excuse herself or NOT invite herself over. Also he was rude! It wasn't just a miscommunication, he has a difficult time with simple interactions. Forget about sex, he needs to learn how to act when he comes over to people's homes.

Btw, this guy is beyond introverted. I know true introverts. They don't act like they have developmental delays.
Click to expand...

Exactly! Even if he is just weird and awkward in general, this ish right here was flat out rude and unacceptable.

gimbap said:
That evening, when I asked him the question and he responded by telling me to look it up, I went on to say "I don't want to look it up on the website. I want to hear it from you. That's what people do, they converse" etc. He said he felt like I was having a control freak hissy fit. Sigh. Ok.
Click to expand...

OMG, it just gets worse and worse. This mess is making my head hurt and it aint even happening to me!

Block this fool and go on with your life, please!
 
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