Common Games Men Play

Right. Mixed signals. Things need to line up: words, actions, and energy.

I am paying more and more attention to energy. I was out last night and this woman was literally hanging all over this man at a bar. I observed how much energy she was investing and how little he was. He allowed her to hang on him and gave so little back. I could see that from across the room. I couldn’t hear what they were saying to each other. But I bet he said a few sweet things. But his actions and energy were saying he wasn’t that interested or invested. It was sad to watch her try so hard to get his attention.

He used a similar story to share how he feels....he said he was on a train and the guy was constantly touching the girl's leg, looking at her but the girl was engrossed with fixing her necklace and barely looked at him. He said he feels like the guy constantly chasing me but I'm not reciprocating.
 
He used a similar story to share how he feels....he said he was on a train and the guy was constantly touching the girl's leg, looking at her but the girl was engrossed with fixing her necklace and barely looked at him. He said he feels like the guy constantly chasing me but I'm not reciprocating.
Have you asked yourself the question? Are you really into him? I am def. touchy feely. However, if I have any reservations about a relationship, it’s hard for me to fake it. So instead I’ve decided to stay true to myself. Although a guy checks off all the boxes, doesn’t necessarily mean that YOU will fall hard for him.
 
So, idk if it’s been touched on, but I had this convo recently and a game that men play that women kinda let them play (because we give it to them) is the game of letting them know what we want or won’t tolerate (the circumstances which we will leave). You kinda state it as the demand but really, it’s just a way for them to mind trick you into giving you everything to get what they want. After that, who knows. I watched someone even talk about this on YouTube.

So, when men ask you what you’re looking for, they don’t have to know you are dating for marriage. Only you need to know that as it only suits your purpose. So now that he knows what you wants, he uses that as leverage to move in quicker because you’ve given him the map and the cheat code. He knows what to say. It’s the same with what would make you leave; another manipulation tactic.

Leave that a mystery and let them work for those answers.
 
So, idk if it’s been touched on, but I had this convo recently and a game that men play that women kinda let them play (because we give it to them) is the game of letting them know what we want or won’t tolerate (the circumstances which we will leave). You kinda state it as the demand but really, it’s just a way for them to mind trick you into giving you everything to get what they want. After that, who knows. I watched someone even talk about this on YouTube.

Sorry, I'm not understanding what you're saying here. So you're saying that by being clear and direct, that this actually backfires in the long run?
 
The way my male friend explained it was, if you tell people what you will or won't accept, all they have to do is follow that blue print to win you over. Once they have you, then who they are really shows....It's kind of simple and smart. Once again, observing how someone moves naturally, organically is the only way to TRULY know someone, through they're actions and interactions with others too.
 
The way my male friend explained it was, if you tell people what you will or won't accept, all they have to do is follow that blue print to win you over. Once they have you, then who they are really shows....It's kind of simple and smart. Once again, observing how someone moves naturally, organically is the only way to TRULY know someone, through they're actions and interactions with others too.
Thank you for explaining it better than me.
 
@hopeful

Another game I have been hearing is that men very early on say that physical chemistry is very important to them, and they need to know that’s there before they can go further. And some women actually fall for this :nono:. It’s like they are dangling a carrot in front of the woman. Like if he can have good physical chemistry with you (have sex with you) then he will really show up for you, date you, take you out, etc. etc. In other words he wants his needs to be met FIRST before investing in a relationship. Kind of like getting the woman to audition or prove herself worthy of his time.

Your post reminds me (def. not the same) of what I'm feeling in my relationship. Connection, intimacy is all very important to my SO and his love language is def. physical touch and affection. I highly doubt this relationship will ever progress if he doesn't FEEL loved. He often asks me if I love him? Meanwhile I'm good, I'm chilling but our physical connection is def. off. I'm going to get off BC and try something different than the Nuvaring but what if it's not hormonal. What if I'm just not as touchy feely and emotional as he is?[/QUOTE]

My SO is physical touch as well. I learned this the hard way unfortunately. I know going forward, holding his hand, cuddling under him and just showing him lots of affection is all he needs. Which I am finding to make my job easy. Im not overly touchy but I believe it takes some getting use too. I love my own space, even when I am visiting his place so this is a transition to have someone around a lot of times.
 
Men Reveal: 6 Signs That He's Too Broke to Date You

Maybe that sexy brother isn’t curbing you after all—he may be focused on getting his finances in order.

Several single men have expressed how financial strife is taking an unexpected toll on their love lives, and they reveal the 6 telltales signs that a man is too broke for love.

1. HE GHOSTS YOU
“I wanted her for awhile,” Jason,* an Uber driver, says as he strokes his well-manicured goatee. “We connected on IG [Instagram], and made plans for coffee. Everything went off the rails after that.”

Jason’s date had to work late, so coffee turned into a more expensive lunch date. “I only ordered a salad or whatever, but she had food and two drinks. She’s sexy, funny, but I can’t vibe with her because the only thing I'm thinking is, ‘I hope my credit card can handle this transaction.’”

Jason’s credit card does cover the $48 lunch date, but it overdrew his account. “I had about $200 in overdraft fees and it made me sick.”

That happened around Christmas, and Jason hasn’t responded to the young woman’s texts since. “I just left her alone,” Jason says. “It’s not her fault, but the thought of her just makes me feel all those bank fees again."

2. HE HAS NO TIME TO MEET UP.
For some men, the gig economy has put a big dent into their social lives. “I’m working two, sometimes three different gigs a week,” Aaron says.

Aaron, 22, drives for Lyft, works part-time at a fast food restaurant and is working on a mix tape. “I’d like to go out, and dress up and ****. But how? When? I rarely have a day off and I rarely have money to spend on someone else. I don’t feel right asking her to pay, or go half, so I just keep to myself.”

3. HE DIPS WITH HIS EX.
“The familiar [woman] is good thing when you have money problems,” Chris, a 42-year-old freelance editor, jokes. “I don’t have to impress her ass. I just text her, sweet talk about reconnecting or whatever, and she gives me what I need; then I’m out. If you’re trying to connect with somebody new, you’re gonna spend, or at least spend a little on yourself to attract her. I'm not at that point right now. ****, I haven't been at that point in years.”

4. HE AVOIDS YOU DURING THE HOLIDAY SEASON.
“This hurts,” Jerry, a 26-year-old substitute teacher, quips. “I really liked TaKeisha, but I met her right after Thanksgiving. We’re vibing and ****, but in the back of my mind, I know Christmas is coming.”

Jerry recalls, “And her birthday was in January--and I didn’t have money for ****. So, I just stopped responding to her around December 15th or so.”

TaKeisha thought Jerry was dating other women, and she moved on, Jerry says. “But I wasn’t dating anybody, I just didn’t have the money for gifts. I thought we’d get back together after the holidays, but that didn’t happen.”:confused:

5. HE HAS LOTS OF FEMALE 'FRIENDS'
Charles’ world was turned upside down when his grandmother, who raised him, died suddenly last year. To make matters worse, the 31-year-old graphic designer, lost his contract with a temp agency. Charles was facing funeral costs and the prospect of losing his childhood home all at once.

Fortunately, an army of female friends appeared—and they were bearing gifts.

“Strangest thing, when someone dies in your family, sisters just want to take care of you,” Charles says. “After my grandma passed, every woman in the church started taking care of me. I lost my job and I haven’t had to work since. They collect donations for me, cook for me, one woman even paid my property taxes. And, yes, some of us do what we do, but that stays between us. I know at least two of them are interested in me for a relationship, but why would I date someone, and lose access to all of this collective generosity? I can't make it on my own, not the way I'm living now. I’m good.”


6. HE MOVES IN RIGHT AWAY.
“I’ve been a hobosexual, I’m not gonna lie,” Derek, an unemployed mechanic, laughs. Derek says that right after the presidential election, several people of color lost their jobs at a small family-owned auto repair shop. "I knew my days were numbered, I looked up one day and I was the only Puerto Rican in the building! I took my tools and left."

Derek wanted a change of scenery and he connected with a woman via Facebook to make his move.

“Slid in her DMs, wrote what she needed to read, and she sent me a one-way ticket to stay with her for a while. I had nothing but my Nikes and my ID, and she took me in.”

Derek, who hails from Chicago, didn’t find life in Atlanta too appealing. “Her house looked nice on Facebook, but she must’ve had some filters on it cuz when I got there, the walls were crumbling,” he says. “Big country rats would just stroll across the floor at high noon; they didn’t care.”

After about a month of living with his Facebook love, Derek bounced. “I was tired of pretending that I liked her, just to have a place to stay. If I’m honest, I wanted to like her, but not like that. Not on her turf--and in her house.”

Derek continues. “What I did was selfish, really. Cuz at the end of the day, if a man really wants to be with you, he will make a way to be with you. Job or no job, money or no money, house or no house. If he wants you, he will make a way to be with you.”

Enough said, Derek. Enough said.
http://www.chicagonow.com/six-brown...eveal-6-signs-that-hes-too-broke-to-date-you/
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So, idk if it’s been touched on, but I had this convo recently and a game that men play that women kinda let them play (because we give it to them) is the game of letting them know what we want or won’t tolerate (the circumstances which we will leave). You kinda state it as the demand but really, it’s just a way for them to mind trick you into giving you everything to get what they want. After that, who knows. I watched someone even talk about this on YouTube.

So, when men ask you what you’re looking for, they don’t have to know you are dating for marriage. Only you need to know that as it only suits your purpose. So now that he knows what you wants, he uses that as leverage to move in quicker because you’ve given him the map and the cheat code. He knows what to say. It’s the same with what would make you leave; another manipulation tactic.

Leave that a mystery and let them work for those answers.

A man told me this in 2003 . . .wish I would've listened then.
 


This is the most common game men play. Well, not men, but toxic masculinity type of men.
I tried warning my sister about this, but she wouldn't listen. It's just like he said too: when they see you minding your business and growing, apart from them. They're essentially haters! They'll mess up your whole flow and leave you desperate. I've had it happen to me too. Still in the process of getting woke.

I've literally had guy friends say things like: 'Your man is one lucky dude, he needs to keep treating you this way." Whenever I post a picture of me looking guudt. When I let them know that I am single, it baffles them. Their ego has already made the decision, that a woman can only be all that she can be, with a man by her side :rolleyes:.​
 
So this guy from Longhorn.He planned our first date. He called me and said he wanted me to plan our second date. I told him I wanted him to plan something for us. He started talking about how he didn’t even like being in the city. He liked doing things in the country (which would insinuate me driving 45 minutes to see him). We could go dirt bike riding and etc. (Nope. Not a first few dates material). He wanted me to cook for him. (Nope.) and kinda prove myself to him. He said I seemed bougie and liked very classy things so maybe I could show him the things that I like (by cooking for him and thus auditioning my cooking skills).

When I told him I didn’t feel comfortable planning a date.

Him: You could've just told me you want to eat out. But one thing I can say being evil and taking advantage of people will come back on you 10 times fold with more deformities.


I just replied. Oh ok. But I’m pretty sure this is an example of gaslighting. What do y’all think? He tried to make me feel bad about requiring him to date me versus us chilling and me cooking or doing free things such as riding dirt bikes at his house which is 45 minutes away from me. Um no.
 
@PrissiSippi
He sounds like an awful human being, not to mention not truly healthily masculine in any way. I wouldn’t waste any more time, energy, or breath on him. I wouldn’t explain anything at all. I am appalled at what he said to you. It’s very mean and insulting. You do not deserve to be talked to or treated that way.
I didn’t. I just blocked and kept it moving. It’s nice to be able to see it a mile away though
 
When I told him I didn’t feel comfortable planning a date.

Him: You could've just told me you want to eat out. But one thing I can say being evil and taking advantage of people will come back on you 10 times fold with more deformities.
He literally told on himself. He probably didn’t realize it though. Totally gaslighting. He knows he’s being evil and trying to take advantage of you. He knows it’s already coming back to him... with deformities though? That was so random that he threw that in there. :lol: Good on you for blocking him. Your looking for your Boaz, not his cousin Broke a**. Boy bye!
 
@PrissiSippi your post above reminds of something that happened to me recently. Long story short, I reconnected with a childhood friend. He proposed. I said no thanks. Now he’s saying I’m mean, cold blooded and have I always been so hard hearted? I told him yes I’ve always been that way and kept it moving.:rolleyes: Again boy bye!
It’s better when they show themselves early :laugh:

If you’re going to try, at least try to get that Grade A instead of that Grade D and repeating that course next semester.
 
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