Common Games Men Play

Reinventing21 said:
@Crackers Phinn
That has GOT to be a white male troll...
Click to expand...
It's a movement. Watch and see if by this time next year black women are outchea parroting wee paynus appreciation. If black men say it enough, it becomes truth to black women.
69392778_510159526214829_3687682551255662592_n.jpg
 
What in the Waiting to Exhale hell is going on here?
She waited 16 of Black Jesuses years to get a diamond chip ring from Zales. <insert soldier boy gif Zaaaaales> And 90 parched individuals liked or hearted this foolery. This ain't it. Also, why they both look so unmoisturized?
69549669_10111963959431213_8308207973155471360_n.jpg
 
Crackers Phinn said:
What in the Waiting to Exhale hell is going on here?
She waited 16 of Black Jesuses years to get a diamond chip ring from Zales. <insert soldier boy gif Zaaaaales> And 90 parched individuals liked or hearted this foolery. This ain't it. Also, why they both look so unmoisturized?
69549669_10111963959431213_8308207973155471360_n.jpg
Click to expand...
Let’s just say I mentioned this to someone and it was slid in the convo that they are in the same boat :look: what’s wrong?
 
@Evolving78 - because liking your response was not enough ...

:love4::love4::love4::love4::love4::love4:

Evolving78 said:
You wouldn’t just let a man go into your purse. You would protect your purse at all cost. If he was caught going into your purse without your permission, you would have a major fit. So go with that concept regarding your heart! You don’t have to be emotionally detached. Emotions come from feelings. So be aware and mindful of them. Get to know a person. He is a stranger. You were told don’t take candy from a stranger. You don’t have to date a bunch of people if you are looking for a relationship. You just go with the flow of things.

Don’t make the man your boyfriend in your mind right away. Don’t give all of your time and energy away. Men usually like to speed up the pace right away in the beginning to sweep you off of your feet and get you high off of your unchecked emotions. Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and don’t have sex. Treat your vagina like your purse as well.
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@blessedandfavoured - your thoughtful response was beautiful and aligns with what I (by faith) believe in many ways. Thank you so much for sharing.
:amen: :love4::bighug:​

blessedandfavoured said:
PREACH it @Evolving78!

My response is much longer and may veer slightly off topic, but I think it's all connected. I hope it is. Thank God for the spoiler tag. I hope there's something useful in this for everyone. Much of it is available on this very board.



DISCLAIMER - I'm only human and I don't know everything

1. Know your value
You are made in God's image, and that is where your value lies. You are not valuable because men find you attractive or want to pay your bills. You are not valuable because you own Gucci products. You are valuable because you reflect the image of God and He loves you wholeheartedly.

When you recognise and accept your true worth, and know that it is in God and no one can take it away from you, you will be less tempted to open your heart to any random in an effort to be in a relationship and be seen as precious. When you know that Christ calls you Beloved, you will enter relationships from a position of strength and not look to a man to give you what only Christ can - undying love.

2. Heal from past hurts
Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your exes. Whatever, forgive them and move on. This might be easier said than done, depending on the depth of the hurt. It might take a lot (A LOT) of prayer and worship to come to the place where you can let go of all the pain that people have caused you. You may also need to forgive yourself for things you’ve done to yourself and others. With God, nothing is impossible.

If your heart is healthy, you will want it to stay that way and you will take better care of it. Also, it will be harder for snakes to slip through the cracks as there will be few to no cracks. Think of it as a well-insulated house.

3. Approach every date like an interview, especially in the early stages
If you're dating to find a husband, it's good if you know what you want from a man, then ask him the questions. Make up scenarios. Ask him his thoughts on plot points of TV shows, see what he says. That'll reveal the sort of person he is.

Imagine that you are looking to hire someone to do a job. In a sense you are because being a husband is not easy and just because of man is of age does not mean he will be a good husband. What qualities are you looking for? Ask him about them. Obviously, he could lie, but God has given every one of us intuition. Trust your gut. The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. Do you think he will make a good father to your children as he is now? Not if this, that or the other changed - as far as you know him, now, is he suitable?

When you go to a job interview, they always find out more about you than you do about them. It should be the same when you go on a date. Don’t overshare. Keep your answers vague. Play it close to the chest.
“Why are you single?” “The right man hasn’t found me yet.” Not, “Men always hurt me. My last boyfriend was…”
“What are you looking for in man.” “Someone I get along with.”

If you decide to keep dating any particular man, act like you’re his employee – put him on probation. For how long? I don’t know – that’s up to you. In some countries, probation periods for work are 6 months.

4. Know your physical limitations
I do not recommend fornication. As far as I can see, there's too much risk and not enough reward when it comes to sex with randoms. I know this may be contentious in 2019, but hey, I'm just saying. Even science proves that sex strengthens emotional bonds. I reckon that in some cases it can create them... not sure though.

Kissing releases the same bonding hormone, oxycotin, that sex does, albeit in smaller doses. So even if you're not having sex with a man but you're making out, you're still going to develop an unnecessary attachment to him. Be cautious. Observe if he respects your physical boundaries, whatever they may be. Avoid spending too much time alone with him, it'll weaken your resolve eventually.

5. Avoid romantic (over-)stimulation in your free time
As a man thinks so he is. If you keep watching rom-coms, reading romantic novels, feeding your mind with a diet of (unrealistic expectations of) romantic relationships, you'll be in a rush to get into one and may let your guard down with the wrong man.

6. Stay active
Get hobbies. Volunteer, go to a barre class, pray! Don't allow your love life to become the most interesting thing about your life. This will help remind you that there's more to your life than romantic relationships, and more to you than what a man thinks of you. It'll make it harder to keep your focus on him. Get yo life, sis!

Long, I know. But I hope it's useful. I believe there are good men out there. They just seem to be hiding, lol. May the right one find you. Godspeed with your relationships. :bighug:
Click to expand...
 
blessedandfavoured said:
PREACH it @Evolving78!

My response is much longer and may veer slightly off topic, but I think it's all connected. I hope it is. Thank God for the spoiler tag. I hope there's something useful in this for everyone. Much of it is available on this very board.



DISCLAIMER - I'm only human and I don't know everything

1. Know your value
You are made in God's image, and that is where your value lies. You are not valuable because men find you attractive or want to pay your bills. You are not valuable because you own Gucci products. You are valuable because you reflect the image of God and He loves you wholeheartedly.

When you recognise and accept your true worth, and know that it is in God and no one can take it away from you, you will be less tempted to open your heart to any random in an effort to be in a relationship and be seen as precious. When you know that Christ calls you Beloved, you will enter relationships from a position of strength and not look to a man to give you what only Christ can - undying love.

2. Heal from past hurts
Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your exes. Whatever, forgive them and move on. This might be easier said than done, depending on the depth of the hurt. It might take a lot (A LOT) of prayer and worship to come to the place where you can let go of all the pain that people have caused you. You may also need to forgive yourself for things you’ve done to yourself and others. With God, nothing is impossible.

If your heart is healthy, you will want it to stay that way and you will take better care of it. Also, it will be harder for snakes to slip through the cracks as there will be few to no cracks. Think of it as a well-insulated house.

3. Approach every date like an interview, especially in the early stages
If you're dating to find a husband, it's good if you know what you want from a man, then ask him the questions. Make up scenarios. Ask him his thoughts on plot points of TV shows, see what he says. That'll reveal the sort of person he is.

Imagine that you are looking to hire someone to do a job. In a sense you are because being a husband is not easy and just because of man is of age does not mean he will be a good husband. What qualities are you looking for? Ask him about them. Obviously, he could lie, but God has given every one of us intuition. Trust your gut. The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. Do you think he will make a good father to your children as he is now? Not if this, that or the other changed - as far as you know him, now, is he suitable?

When you go to a job interview, they always find out more about you than you do about them. It should be the same when you go on a date. Don’t overshare. Keep your answers vague. Play it close to the chest.
“Why are you single?” “The right man hasn’t found me yet.” Not, “Men always hurt me. My last boyfriend was…”
“What are you looking for in man.” “Someone I get along with.”

If you decide to keep dating any particular man, act like you’re his employee – put him on probation. For how long? I don’t know – that’s up to you. In some countries, probation periods for work are 6 months.

4. Know your physical limitations
I do not recommend fornication. As far as I can see, there's too much risk and not enough reward when it comes to sex with randoms. I know this may be contentious in 2019, but hey, I'm just saying. Even science proves that sex strengthens emotional bonds. I reckon that in some cases it can create them... not sure though.

Kissing releases the same bonding hormone, oxycotin, that sex does, albeit in smaller doses. So even if you're not having sex with a man but you're making out, you're still going to develop an unnecessary attachment to him. Be cautious. Observe if he respects your physical boundaries, whatever they may be. Avoid spending too much time alone with him, it'll weaken your resolve eventually.

5. Avoid romantic (over-)stimulation in your free time
As a man thinks so he is. If you keep watching rom-coms, reading romantic novels, feeding your mind with a diet of (unrealistic expectations of) romantic relationships, you'll be in a rush to get into one and may let your guard down with the wrong man.

6. Stay active
Get hobbies. Volunteer, go to a barre class, pray! Don't allow your love life to become the most interesting thing about your life. This will help remind you that there's more to your life than romantic relationships, and more to you than what a man thinks of you. It'll make it harder to keep your focus on him. Get yo life, sis!

Long, I know. But I hope it's useful. I believe there are good men out there. They just seem to be hiding, lol. May the right one find you. Godspeed with your relationships. :bighug:
Click to expand...

I don't know how I originally missed this gem. It was wonderful to read.
 
blessedandfavoured said:
PREACH it @Evolving78!

My response is much longer and may veer slightly off topic, but I think it's all connected. I hope it is. Thank God for the spoiler tag. I hope there's something useful in this for everyone. Much of it is available on this very board.



DISCLAIMER - I'm only human and I don't know everything

1. Know your value
You are made in God's image, and that is where your value lies. You are not valuable because men find you attractive or want to pay your bills. You are not valuable because you own Gucci products. You are valuable because you reflect the image of God and He loves you wholeheartedly.

When you recognise and accept your true worth, and know that it is in God and no one can take it away from you, you will be less tempted to open your heart to any random in an effort to be in a relationship and be seen as precious. When you know that Christ calls you Beloved, you will enter relationships from a position of strength and not look to a man to give you what only Christ can - undying love.

2. Heal from past hurts
Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your exes. Whatever, forgive them and move on. This might be easier said than done, depending on the depth of the hurt. It might take a lot (A LOT) of prayer and worship to come to the place where you can let go of all the pain that people have caused you. You may also need to forgive yourself for things you’ve done to yourself and others. With God, nothing is impossible.

If your heart is healthy, you will want it to stay that way and you will take better care of it. Also, it will be harder for snakes to slip through the cracks as there will be few to no cracks. Think of it as a well-insulated house.

3. Approach every date like an interview, especially in the early stages
If you're dating to find a husband, it's good if you know what you want from a man, then ask him the questions. Make up scenarios. Ask him his thoughts on plot points of TV shows, see what he says. That'll reveal the sort of person he is.

Imagine that you are looking to hire someone to do a job. In a sense you are because being a husband is not easy and just because of man is of age does not mean he will be a good husband. What qualities are you looking for? Ask him about them. Obviously, he could lie, but God has given every one of us intuition. Trust your gut. The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. Do you think he will make a good father to your children as he is now? Not if this, that or the other changed - as far as you know him, now, is he suitable?

When you go to a job interview, they always find out more about you than you do about them. It should be the same when you go on a date. Don’t overshare. Keep your answers vague. Play it close to the chest.
“Why are you single?” “The right man hasn’t found me yet.” Not, “Men always hurt me. My last boyfriend was…”
“What are you looking for in man.” “Someone I get along with.”

If you decide to keep dating any particular man, act like you’re his employee – put him on probation. For how long? I don’t know – that’s up to you. In some countries, probation periods for work are 6 months.

4. Know your physical limitations
I do not recommend fornication. As far as I can see, there's too much risk and not enough reward when it comes to sex with randoms. I know this may be contentious in 2019, but hey, I'm just saying. Even science proves that sex strengthens emotional bonds. I reckon that in some cases it can create them... not sure though.

Kissing releases the same bonding hormone, oxycotin, that sex does, albeit in smaller doses. So even if you're not having sex with a man but you're making out, you're still going to develop an unnecessary attachment to him. Be cautious. Observe if he respects your physical boundaries, whatever they may be. Avoid spending too much time alone with him, it'll weaken your resolve eventually.

5. Avoid romantic (over-)stimulation in your free time
As a man thinks so he is. If you keep watching rom-coms, reading romantic novels, feeding your mind with a diet of (unrealistic expectations of) romantic relationships, you'll be in a rush to get into one and may let your guard down with the wrong man.

6. Stay active
Get hobbies. Volunteer, go to a barre class, pray! Don't allow your love life to become the most interesting thing about your life. This will help remind you that there's more to your life than romantic relationships, and more to you than what a man thinks of you. It'll make it harder to keep your focus on him. Get yo life, sis!

Long, I know. But I hope it's useful. I believe there are good men out there. They just seem to be hiding, lol. May the right one find you. Godspeed with your relationships. :bighug:
Click to expand...

EXCELLENT POST SIS!!!!
giphy.gif


Thank you for this. It was right on time. :-)
 
Just because you have a great relationship that doesn’t mean he wants to marry you. I have a friend that is dating a women for over a year and a half. According to him things are going great. His girlfriend brought up the topic of marriage. He told her it wasn’t something on his radar. I asked him if she’s the one and his response was “I don’t know.” I asked if he will be ready in the next year, he said "I'm not putting a time line on things."

giphy.gif


A man will use his appearance and occupation to lower your defenses. There is a guy that I know who runs through women and then ghosting her. How? He's an average height BM that “looks like” a teddy bear. Women think he’s sweet and intelligent and they don’t want to be shallow "like other women" so they don't let his appearance be a hinderance. He knows women think this and use it as a way to get sex very early in the dating stage and then ghosting her. If a women gets a call back after sex, he is still quick to dismiss her if she does or says something he doesn’t like. Zero explanations, no second chances.
 
LovingLady said:
Just because you have a great relationship that doesn’t mean he wants to marry you. I have a friend that is dating a women for over a year and a half. According to him things are going great. His girlfriend brought up the topic of marriage. He told her it wasn’t something on his radar. I asked him if she’s the one and his response was “I don’t know.” I asked if he will be ready in the next year, he said "I'm not putting a time line on things."

giphy.gif


A man will use his appearance and occupation to lower your defenses. There is a guy that I know who runs through women and then ghosting her. How? He's an average height BM that “looks like” a teddy bear. Women think he’s sweet and intelligent and they don’t want to be shallow "like other women" so they don't let his appearance be a hinderance. He knows women think this and use it as a way to get sex very early in the dating stage and then ghosting her. If a women gets a call back after sex, he is still quick to dismiss her if she does or says something he doesn’t like. Zero explanations, no second chances.
Click to expand...

So he's a piece of :angry2: then! God don't like ugly, and I hope he gets what's coming to him.
 
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