Common Games Men Play

A conversation that I'm reading.

What do you do when you just want your girlfriend to know you are sorry and you want her back home. I’m calling. I’m texting. No answer. I wanna pop up at her job but I don’t want her to call the police. I want her to know I’m sorry I love her and I need her. We had an incident but i thought we was still cool because she gave me some food to eat for work after that but i haven’t talked to her since.

i love her I’m crying she left over that petty fight we did

i love her i ain’t did nothing that is serious enough for her to leave for good that’s my baby

do you have a woman you love i know this woman is meant for me no matter how good or bad I’m doing she left cause i choked and slapped her a little bit but i apologized and want her back I’m not go do it no more i promise

I know I was wrong but she kept on putting her fingers in my face yelling and then she pushed my head with her finger and things got out of control. I’m sorry. I’m crying right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Folks came through and poached his :moon: like an egg in the comments.

Arent you the same dude that just posted about why you didnt understand why she was mad at you cause she knew from the get go that you was a playa and youve cheated before and she took you back welp my dude this is one, two too many times! She screaming boxes to the left at yo *** now. Dont cry like a ***** now, have that same energy when you was cheating

She probably poisoned your ass. You kept thinking she was cool with all of the free kc!d samples you was giving out.

Based off your posts You need to leave her alone and go live your life. The karma u have coming is gone **** your head up!

Naw! You should go up to her job. Fight for her bruh! Real love means restraining orders and ****.
 
livinbestlyfe said:
6 BAD HABITS OF A WOMAN IN LOVE- RC BLAKES



This video addresses some of our responses to common games men play.
Click to expand...


I was prepared to roll my eyes so hard, but this actually is a good talk. For a woman, being in love means marriage and family. For a man, being in love means let me have unlimited, unprotected sex with you until I get bored. :shocked: :cry:

It makes me think that what a woman really needs is a strong, protective father (or father figure) in her life when she's young to protect her against men. It almost makes me think women need arranged marriages. A woman wanting marriage and children does not have all the time in the world to wait for a man to toss away his sheep's costume, revealing the calculating predator underneath. Meanwhile, society says a woman is worthless without a good marriage, and a fool for being selfless and having emotions. Ugh.

So basically, according to this video, women must to be calculating and emotionless when it comes to relationships with men.
 
Ipanema said:
I was prepared to roll my eyes so hard, but this actually is a good talk. For a woman, being in love means marriage and family. For a man, being in love means let me have unlimited, unprotected sex with you until I get bored. :shocked: :cry:

It makes me think that what a woman really needs is a strong, protective father (or father figure) in her life when she's young to protect her against men. It almost makes me think women need arranged marriages. A woman wanting marriage and children does not have all the time in the world to wait for a man to toss away his sheep's costume, revealing the calculating predator underneath. Meanwhile, society says a woman is worthless without a good marriage, and a fool for being selfless and having emotions. Ugh.

So basically, according to this video, women must to be calculating and emotionless when it comes to relationships with men.
Click to expand...

Hi @Ipanema, I didn't read the book but I gather this is what 'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man' was all about. And the second bolded seems to be true - don't give your heart away until you're sure the man will protect it/is worthy of you, and don't give your body away until you're married - this will save you a world of trouble and likely separate the boys from the men. Rough streets, y'all.
 
Ipanema said:
I was prepared to roll my eyes so hard, but this actually is a good talk. For a woman, being in love means marriage and family. For a man, being in love means let me have unlimited, unprotected sex with you until I get bored. :shocked: :cry:

It makes me think that what a woman really needs is a strong, protective father (or father figure) in her life when she's young to protect her against men. It almost makes me think women need arranged marriages. A woman wanting marriage and children does not have all the time in the world to wait for a man to toss away his sheep's costume, revealing the calculating predator underneath. Meanwhile, society says a woman is worthless without a good marriage, and a fool for being selfless and having emotions. Ugh.

So basically, according to this video, women must to be calculating and emotionless when it comes to relationships with men.
Click to expand...

this notion is preached here day after day... year after year..
 
I'm noticing that more and more of these "men" want you to chase them. I signed up for match.com again because they kept sending me emails about how many messages I had waiting for me. Jokes' on me, because the majority of them were ugly.:mad:
The ones who were decent-looking, I sent a response, although it was like a month later. :look: Some didn't respond.

One guy gives me his number and I immediately give him mine. I told him I couldn't wait to hear his voice :lachen: . . .never called. Oh well!

Last week, this guy messages me, and do you know what his message was?!!!! "LOL" . . .that's it! I started to write him back because he was cute, but then I was thinking, "What kind of bs is this, considering you're supposed to be expressing your interest." Fortunately, my self-esteem is high :gorgeous:(after many years of building it) and I wasn't worried about what he could possibly find funny. I just found it EXTREMELY lazy and lame to message a woman that on a dating site. I never responded. I HATE online dating!
 
Silkycoils said:
One guy gives me his number and I immediately give him mine. I told him I couldn't wait to hear his voice :lachen: . . .never called. Oh well!
Click to expand...
These men so wack.

Earlier this week I met one who said he wanted to get to know me better. Immediately followed by "let's text sometime." :ohwell:

I said, "I'm grown. I don't text." So then he says, "Well, put my number in your phone and give me a call."

.
tumblr_ls5p5eQlvc1qbw75zo1_400.gif

.
 
blessedandfavoured said:
don't give your heart away until you're sure the man will protect it/is worthy of you, and don't give your body away until you're married - this will save you a world of trouble and likely separate the boys from the men. Rough streets, y'all.
Click to expand...
:yep: That’s exactly what I did. I was also blessed enough to have a father in the home to protect me. It’s saved me so much heartache and drama! It ain’t for everyone because you have to be strong enough to ignore societal pressures. It’s so worth it in the end. :yep:
 
Silkycoils said:
I'm noticing that more and more of these "men" want you to chase them. I signed up for match.com again because they kept sending me emails about how many messages I had waiting for me. Jokes' on me, because the majority of them were ugly.:mad:
The ones who were decent-looking, I sent a response, although it was like a month later. :look: Some didn't respond.

One guy gives me his number and I immediately give him mine. I told him I couldn't wait to hear his voice :lachen: . . .never called. Oh well!

Last week, this guy messages me, and do you know what his message was?!!!! "LOL" . . .that's it! I started to write him back because he was cute, but then I was thinking, "What kind of bs is this, considering you're supposed to be expressing your interest." Fortunately, my self-esteem is high :gorgeous:(after many years of building it) and I wasn't worried about what he could possibly find funny. I just found it EXTREMELY lazy and lame to message a woman that on a dating site. I never responded. I HATE online dating!
Click to expand...

Since when is "LOL" ever a legitimate conversation starter? :rolleyes: I can't think of any situation in which "LOL" would be a good way to start a conversation. It's actually kind of rude IMO.

A few months ago, some guy messaged me "Touché" on a dating app. What am I supposed to say to that? :laugh: I didn't respond.
 
Damaris.Elle said:
Since when is "LOL" ever a legitimate conversation starter? :rolleyes: I can't think of any situation in which "LOL" would be a good way to start a conversation. It's actually kind of rude IMO.

A few months ago, some guy messaged me "Touché" on a dating app. What am I supposed to say to that? :laugh: I didn't respond.
Click to expand...

Right. I feel like he was banking on me being insecure and asking, "What's so funny?". I almost responded with, "Glad I could entertain you", but I decided that he wasn't worth it if he came at me wack from the gate.
 
ElegantPearl17 said:
Click to expand...

The concept itself is correct. The explanation/execution/examples are elementary and many of her statements in this video actually undermine her point.

Yes, using our femininity is an advantage. Yes, the natural manner of a lady(with the actual attributes of said term) does a lot to inspire a man into greatness while holding her in high regard. Yes, the way a woman values herself pretty much functions as the gatekeeper to if a man chills on a woman or goes for the gusto. All of those points she references in one manner or another were true. However where she misses the mark is the value of evaluating the full package. She dismissed valuable character traits that don't go unnoticed by good men and actually sustain healthy relationships especially as time goes on instead of explaining that those traits as standalone aren't enough and need to be given as a reward in the appropriate context in order to be efficient. The list that she gave of things that she found unfeminine and unattractive to were completely out of context which made that explanation unrealistic. A man will accept "bad traits" or unfeminine qualities when the rest of the package offsets and leaves a stronger impression on him than the thing he dislikes. Not only that, women who are genuine versus trying to fake their way into femininity looking all awkward or trying to force themselves into someone else's ideal standard always fare better than women who abandon their unique quirks to try to fit a standard that another type of woman is the expert on. Balance counts. Context counts. She gives way too much weight to the make up free vs beat face, weave free vs bundles, chill clothes vs glamorously dressed argument. Men don't care about your make up/skincare regimen if you are beautiful with or without makeup. Men don't care about weave or your haircare regimen if your actual hair is soft, smells good and looks gorgeous. Men don't care if you dress in sweats or sexy if that body looks better butt naked. So the whole "the more effort you put into a a look yields it's value" is simply not true and is overplayed. A man knowing you are valuable or expensive be in it money he spends on you or character he possesses to have a chance with you is based on the full package. She talked about a man wanting his woman to look like an "instagram thot" and/or cheating on you then buying you something expensive as a grand gesture. That's elementary: Wanting you to look good or exude sex appeal with him is not on the same level as him wanting you in the same category as a woman he has no respect for, would be scared to sleep with, would not claim a baby from or would sleep with and never commit to. I can't relate. One of her examples was literally a man's apology ranging from "I'm sorry" to a an expensive grand gesture for cheating when a man who is serious about you will go all out to impress you or simply hurting your feelings without getting to the point that he plays that card as a Hail Mary after a relationship ending offense. A broke man will trade his most prized possession for a woman he wants. A broke man will quickly get his act together to step to who he wants so he can feel like a man in the presence of that woman. I still agree with the main point: femininity and beauty is an advantage so reap the benefits of it, but some of the context around her explanations were o_O.
 
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I'm wondering how you would go about not giving your heart away? Do you remain emotionally detached? Do you continue to date other people (I guess you should)? What does that process look like?

blessedandfavoured said:
Hi @Ipanema, I didn't read the book but I gather this is what 'Act like a Lady, Think like a Man' was all about. And the second bolded seems to be true - don't give your heart away until you're sure the man will protect it/is worthy of you, and don't give your body away until you're married - this will save you a world of trouble and likely separate the boys from the men. Rough streets, y'all.
Click to expand...
 
Lylddlebit said:
The concept itself is correct. The explanation/execution/examples are elementary and many of her statements in this video actually undermine her point.

Yes, using our femininity is an advantage. Yes, the natural manner of a lady(with the actual attributes of said term) does a lot to inspire a man into greatness while holding her in high regard. Yes, the way a woman values herself pretty much functions as the gatekeeper to if a man chills on a woman or goes for the gusto. All of those points she references in one manner or another were true. However where she misses the mark is the value of evaluating the full package. She dismissed valuable character traits that don't go unnoticed by good men and actually sustain healthy relationships especially as time goes on instead of explaining that those traits as standalone aren't enough and need to be given as a reward in the appropriate context in order to be efficient. The list that she gave of things that she found unfeminine and unattractive to were completely out of context which made that explanation unrealistic. A man will accept "bad traits" or unfeminine qualities when the rest of the package offsets and leaves a stronger impression on him than the thing he dislikes. Not only that, women who are genuine versus trying to fake their way into femininity looking all awkward or trying to force themselves into someone else's ideal standard always fare better than women who abandon their unique quirks to try to fit a standard that another type of woman is the expert on. Balance counts. Context counts. She gives way too much weight to the make up free vs beat face, weave free vs bundles, chill clothes vs glamorously dressed argument. Men don't care about your make up/skincare regimen if you are beautiful with or without makeup. Men don't care about weave or your haircare regimen if your actual hair is soft, smells good and looks gorgeous. Men don't care if you dress in sweats or sexy if that body looks better butt naked. So the whole "the more effort you put into a a look yields it's value" is simply not true and is overplayed. A man knowing you are valuable or expensive be in it money he spends on you or character he possesses to have a chance with you is based on the full package. She talked about a man wanting his woman to look like an "instagram thot" and/or cheating on you then buying you something expensive as a grand gesture. That's elementary: Wanting you to look good or exude sex appeal with him is not on the same level as him wanting you in the same category as a woman he has no respect for, would be scared to sleep with, would not claim a baby from or would sleep with and never commit to. I can't relate. One of her examples was literally a man's apology ranging from "I'm sorry" to a an expensive grand gesture for cheating when a man who is serious about you will go all out to impress you or simply hurting your feelings without getting to the point that he plays that card as a Hail Mary after a relationship ending offense. A broke man will trade his most prized possession for a woman he wants. A broke man will quickly get his act together to step to who he wants so he can feel like a man in the presence of that woman. I still agree with the main point: femininity and beauty is an advantage so reap the benefits of it, but some of the context around her explanations were o_O.
Click to expand...
Is this Chloe? I stopped watching her because her videos are never explained properly. I never subscribed either. She’s also depressing.
 
Lylddlebit said:
The concept itself is correct. The explanation/execution/examples are elementary and many of her statements in this video actually undermine her point.

She talked about a man wanting his woman to look like an "instagram thot" and/or cheating on you then buying you something expensive as a grand gesture. One of her examples was literally a man's apology ranging from "I'm sorry" to a an expensive grand gesture for cheating when a man who is serious about you will go all out to impress you or simply hurting your feelings without getting to the point that he plays that card as a Hail Mary after a relationship ending offense. A broke man will trade his most prized possession for a woman he wants. A broke man will quickly get his act together to step to who he wants so he can feel like a man in the presence of that woman.
Click to expand...

She was losing me when she started talking about hair weaves, like they were essential for grooming and upkeep, and lost me completely when she started on the bolded and "Kobe" gifts. Your comment in red made me think about the woman who started dating the homeless man and now they're married with kids. He got his life all the way together, and women should learn from that.
 
Saludable84 said:
Is this Chloe? I stopped watching her because her videos are never explained properly. I never subscribed either. She’s also depressing.
Click to expand...
Yes. Thank you for the information. That is the only video I saw of hers so I didn't know if that was her style or an outlier. I'd hoped it was an outlier because it's a good topic.

awhyley said:
She was losing me when she started talking about hair weaves, like they were essential for grooming and upkeep, and lost me completely when she started on the bolded and "Kobe" gifts. Your comment in red made me think about the woman who started dating the homeless man and now they're married with kids. He got his life all the way together, and women should learn from that.
Click to expand...
Yep. Since this is the games that men play thread...believing a man won't do or be something of quality or only does grand gestures when they mess up royally is pure deception. The ones worth having want to look like "the man" in front of their woman. They want to feel like a man for themselves and even if they have a season of decline will do what it takes to get there.

That pride be like
 
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LadyPBC said:
I'm wondering how you would go about not giving your heart away? Do you remain emotionally detached? Do you continue to date other people (I guess you should)? What does that process look like?
Click to expand...
You wouldn’t just let a man go into your purse. You would protect your purse at all cost. If he was caught going into your purse without your permission, you would have a major fit. So go with that concept regarding your heart! You don’t have to be emotionally detached. Emotions come from feelings. So be aware and mindful of them. Get to know a person. He is a stranger. You were told don’t take candy from a stranger. You don’t have to date a bunch of people if you are looking for a relationship. You just go with the flow of things.

Don’t make the man your boyfriend in your mind right away. Don’t give all of your time and energy away. Men usually like to speed up the pace right away in the beginning to sweep you off of your feet and get you high off of your unchecked emotions. Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and don’t have sex. Treat your vagina like your purse as well.
 
Evolving78 said:
You wouldn’t just let a man go into your purse. You would protect your purse at all cost. If he was caught going into your purse without your permission, you would have a major fit. So go with that concept regarding your heart! You don’t have to be emotionally detached. Emotions come from feelings. So be aware and mindful of them. Get to know a person. He is a stranger. You were told don’t take candy from a stranger. You don’t have to date a bunch of people if you are looking for a relationship. You just go with the flow of things.

Don’t make the man your boyfriend in your mind right away. Don’t give all of your time and energy away. Men usually like to speed up the pace right away in the beginning to sweep you off of your feet and get you high off of your unchecked emotions. Keep your feet planted firmly on the ground and don’t have sex. Treat your vagina like your purse as well.
Click to expand...

PREACH it @Evolving78!

My response is much longer and may veer slightly off topic, but I think it's all connected. I hope it is. Thank God for the spoiler tag. I hope there's something useful in this for everyone. Much of it is available on this very board.

LadyPBC said:
I'm wondering how you would go about not giving your heart away? Do you remain emotionally detached? Do you continue to date other people (I guess you should)? What does that process look like?
Click to expand...

DISCLAIMER - I'm only human and I don't know everything

1. Know your value
You are made in God's image, and that is where your value lies. You are not valuable because men find you attractive or want to pay your bills. You are not valuable because you own Gucci products. You are valuable because you reflect the image of God and He loves you wholeheartedly.

When you recognise and accept your true worth, and know that it is in God and no one can take it away from you, you will be less tempted to open your heart to any random in an effort to be in a relationship and be seen as precious. When you know that Christ calls you Beloved, you will enter relationships from a position of strength and not look to a man to give you what only Christ can - undying love.

2. Heal from past hurts
Maybe it's your parents, maybe it's your exes. Whatever, forgive them and move on. This might be easier said than done, depending on the depth of the hurt. It might take a lot (A LOT) of prayer and worship to come to the place where you can let go of all the pain that people have caused you. You may also need to forgive yourself for things you’ve done to yourself and others. With God, nothing is impossible.

If your heart is healthy, you will want it to stay that way and you will take better care of it. Also, it will be harder for snakes to slip through the cracks as there will be few to no cracks. Think of it as a well-insulated house.

3. Approach every date like an interview, especially in the early stages
If you're dating to find a husband, it's good if you know what you want from a man, then ask him the questions. Make up scenarios. Ask him his thoughts on plot points of TV shows, see what he says. That'll reveal the sort of person he is.

Imagine that you are looking to hire someone to do a job. In a sense you are because being a husband is not easy and just because of man is of age does not mean he will be a good husband. What qualities are you looking for? Ask him about them. Obviously, he could lie, but God has given every one of us intuition. Trust your gut. The Holy Spirit will guide you into all truth. Do you think he will make a good father to your children as he is now? Not if this, that or the other changed - as far as you know him, now, is he suitable?

When you go to a job interview, they always find out more about you than you do about them. It should be the same when you go on a date. Don’t overshare. Keep your answers vague. Play it close to the chest.
“Why are you single?” “The right man hasn’t found me yet.” Not, “Men always hurt me. My last boyfriend was…”
“What are you looking for in man.” “Someone I get along with.”

If you decide to keep dating any particular man, act like you’re his employee – put him on probation. For how long? I don’t know – that’s up to you. In some countries, probation periods for work are 6 months.

4. Know your physical limitations
I do not recommend fornication. As far as I can see, there's too much risk and not enough reward when it comes to sex with randoms. I know this may be contentious in 2019, but hey, I'm just saying. Even science proves that sex strengthens emotional bonds. I reckon that in some cases it can create them... not sure though.

Kissing releases the same bonding hormone, oxycotin, that sex does, albeit in smaller doses. So even if you're not having sex with a man but you're making out, you're still going to develop an unnecessary attachment to him. Be cautious. Observe if he respects your physical boundaries, whatever they may be. Avoid spending too much time alone with him, it'll weaken your resolve eventually.

5. Avoid romantic (over-)stimulation in your free time
As a man thinks so he is. If you keep watching rom-coms, reading romantic novels, feeding your mind with a diet of (unrealistic expectations of) romantic relationships, you'll be in a rush to get into one and may let your guard down with the wrong man.

6. Stay active
Get hobbies. Volunteer, go to a barre class, pray! Don't allow your love life to become the most interesting thing about your life. This will help remind you that there's more to your life than romantic relationships, and more to you than what a man thinks of you. It'll make it harder to keep your focus on him. Get yo life, sis!

Long, I know. But I hope it's useful. I believe there are good men out there. They just seem to be hiding, lol. May the right one find you. Godspeed with your relationships. :bighug:
 
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