Common Games Men Play

He says: I can't take a woman seriously who dates other men (even though he's probably doing the same.) He gives you game that how would he know that you would be faithful to him in a marriage if you can't be faithful now.

Men play this game because they know if you ONLY talk to them, you will be overly invested emotionally and you will fall for his games out of SCARCITY because you want a man.


Avoids titles
He claims he's not ready for a relationship and doesn't like titles BUT loves titles as work lol

He says: Marriage is just a piece of paper (money is too) or that if we have sex it won't change how yall are now.
 
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Constantly moving the goal post, so that the woman never gets what she wants (usually full commitment) and he always gets what he wants (a play girlfriend).

For example, my bff has been dealing with this dude off and on for maybe 4 years at this point. Every time was never the right time to be fully committed, because he was trying to get his business going, get things situated with his kids, get his money right. Yet they were sexing the whole time and he'd take her out from time to time. She stuck with it. Recently he shows up with a "promise ring" now qw are 35 he's about 37, wtf is a promise ring? I asked well does this mean ya'll are engaged?? No we still have things we want to do and I might want to go back to school...so effectively he's bought himself another 4 years of still looking for who he really wants, and it cost him a cheap ring.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Constantly moving the goal post, so that the woman never gets what she wants (usually full commitment) and he always gets what he wants (a play girlfriend).

For example, my bff has been dealing with this dude off and on for maybe 4 years at this point. Every time was never the right time to be fully committed, because he was trying to get his business going, get things situated with his kids, get his money right. Yet they were sexing the whole time and he'd take her out from time to time. She stuck with it. Recently he shows up with a "promise ring" now qw are 35 he's about 37, wtf is a promise ring? I asked well does this mean ya'll are engaged?? No we still have things we want to do and I might want to go back to school...so effectively he's bought himself another 4 years of still looking for who he really wants, and it cost him a cheap ring.
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And she’s falling for all of it.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Yep. I stay out of it. She told me she was just happy to be in love and building together. I said well if you like it, I love it.
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This is a very common game. I was talking to a friend a little while back and she said her friend was with a guy who, after maybe 10 years, finally gave her a baby because he was tired of her bugging him. She doesn’t understand why he won’t marry her but finally broke down to have a baby despite them being together AND living together. I told her “Oh dear...” she said they’ve been together for 10 years and I said “if that ain’t working nothing will”. She honesty asked me if he will marry her and said “if they have been together for 10 years and she’s close to 40, it might happen, but probability is a funny thing...”

It’s amazing how many women are afraid to find what they wants because men are quick to tell you “this is why you’re single” “you’ll never find a man like this” “you think you’re too good...” and these women continue to fall for it like these promise rings.
 
RoundEyedGirl504 said:
Constantly moving the goal post, so that the woman never gets what she wants (usually full commitment) and he always gets what he wants (a play girlfriend).

For example, my bff has been dealing with this dude off and on for maybe 4 years at this point. Every time was never the right time to be fully committed, because he was trying to get his business going, get things situated with his kids, get his money right. Yet they were sexing the whole time and he'd take her out from time to time. She stuck with it. Recently he shows up with a "promise ring" now qw are 35 he's about 37, wtf is a promise ring? I asked well does this mean ya'll are engaged?? No we still have things we want to do and I might want to go back to school...so effectively he's bought himself another 4 years of still looking for who he really wants, and it cost him a cheap ring.
Click to expand...

Moving the Goal Post is a GREAT example

Let's say he says something like YOU DON'T EVEN COOK. I want a wife/girlfriend that can at least cook and you want me to do xyz.

You learn how to cook and he says something like, You think you're the only one that knows how to cook? It's A MILLION of women that know how to cook. That doesn't make you special? You don't even cook that well!!

You learn how to cook well and he comes back with YOU THINK I NEED SOMEONE TO COOK FOR ME? My mother can cook for me! What ELSE can you bring to the table.

Understand that anything you ever do won't be enough. Men use ANY TOOL IN THE TOOLBOX to get their way. If it means manipulating, lying, hurting your feelings, jabbing, or etc. they will do it to GET THEIR WAY. They are STRATEGICALLY SELFISH so we as women need to learn this too. Keep the end goal in mind. Think about what YOU WANT and know your self worth.

Who cares if you can't cook? Men don't get in relationships if they're not benefitting in some kind of way so it must be SOME REASON he is still there. Don't be fooled. It's something for him in the deal. Ignore his words, KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU, focus on your END GOAL, and live your BEST life by NOT making him the center of your life. PERIODT.
 
Reinventing21 said:
AND THIS
19. Something in their energy is off. They say and do the right things but you still don’t feel loved or safe. They are just going through the motions, pretending, acting like they care. Trust your gut. You deserve real love, not pretend love.

^^^Classic examples (from Prissippi & Hopeful) of beginning abusive behavior that are dangerously easily to overlook if one doesn't know what is happening.
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The very early stage of a relationship...
This dude was constantly offering to do handyman jobs in my home. So one evening I was having emergency plumbing work done. I was furious because the ‘jackleg’ plumber was lazy. He sent me out to Home Depot to pick up a part. It was late, cold, windy & raining. I had to go to work the next morning. I called my then boo, complaining how lazy the plumber was and how I was tired and how the weather was so dreadful. Not only did he not express concern for my safety that I was out late & alone. He had the nerve to ask me to pick up a part that he needed for HIS toilet, “since I was at Home Depot”. I hung up the phone. The next day he had the nerve to ask me if I purchased the part for his toilet. Needless, to say... I ended it with him. The lesson... he was constantly offering to do work in my home, giving me the impression that he was dependable, caring and concerned... but he showed his true colors that night.
 
PrissiSippi said:
Moving the Goal Post is a GREAT example

Let's say he says something like YOU DON'T EVEN COOK. I want a wife/girlfriend that can at least cook and you want me to do xyz.

You learn how to cook and he says something like, You think you're the only one that knows how to cook? It's A MILLION of women that know how to cook. That doesn't make you special? You don't even cook that well!!

You learn how to cook well and he comes back with YOU THINK I NEED SOMEONE TO COOK FOR ME? My mother can cook for me! What ELSE can you bring to the table.

Understand that anything you ever do won't be enough. Men use ANY TOOL IN THE TOOLBOX to get their way. If it means manipulating, lying, hurting your feelings, jabbing, or etc. they will do it to GET THEIR WAY. They are STRATEGICALLY SELFISH so we as women need to learn this too. Keep the end goal in mind. Think about what YOU WANT and know your self worth.

Who cares if you can't cook? Men don't get in relationships if they're not benefitting in some kind of way so it must be SOME REASON he is still there. Don't be fooled. It's something for him in the deal. Ignore his words, KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU, focus on your END GOAL, and live your BEST life by NOT making him the center of your life. PERIODT.
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Or break up with him instead. Seriously, life's too short to keep this kind of man (or even friend) around. Obviously, if you've already married this kind of man, think and pray carefully about your next move. But if you're just dating, let him go. Hypertension is nothing to play with, lol.
 
livinbestlyfe said:
The very early stage of a relationship...
This dude was constantly offering to do handyman jobs in my home. So one evening I was having emergency plumbing work done. I was furious because the ‘jackleg’ plumber was lazy. He sent me out to Home Depot to pick up a part. It was late, cold, windy & raining. I had to go to work the next morning. I called my then boo, complaining how lazy the plumber was and how I was tired and how the weather was so dreadful. Not only did he not express concern for my safety that I was out late & alone. He had the nerve to ask me to pick up a part that he needed for HIS toilet, “since I was at Home Depot”. I hung up the phone. The next day he had the nerve to ask me if I purchased the part for his toilet. Needless, to say... I ended it with him. The lesson... he was constantly offering to do work in my home, giving me the impression that he was dependable, caring and concerned... but he showed his true colors that night.
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And the important thing too is did he ever come through with what he offered? Like if he said he would fix your sink did he actually ever do it?
 
livinbestlyfe said:
Nah! Always had something to do.
Boy bye!
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That is sooo annoying but it goes back to point of Wolf Tickets. It works in the short term making them appear to be so kind and considerate. By the time you find this is not really true, you’ve slept with them or gotten too invested. This is why I feel like it’s key to:

Not give them choices “Will you fix my fridge on Friday or Saturday I know you said you were fixing it for me.”

And

Use the art of freaking out so they do it. They don’t get what they want (your time, attention, and sex) until you get what you want (your fridge fixed).
 
Girl, my blood pressure went ALL the way up :mad: for you reading that. I am soooo glad you hung up on him though BUT he still had the nerve to ask you if you if you bought the part for him!!!!! :eek::eek::angry2:

:toocool::bounceline::bouncy:High five for deleting this woman-hating non-man.

livinbestlyfe said:
The very early stage of a relationship...
This dude was constantly offering to do handyman jobs in my home. So one evening I was having emergency plumbing work done. I was furious because the ‘jackleg’ plumber was lazy. He sent me out to Home Depot to pick up a part. It was late, cold, windy & raining. I had to go to work the next morning. I called my then boo, complaining how lazy the plumber was and how I was tired and how the weather was so dreadful. Not only did he not express concern for my safety that I was out late & alone. He had the nerve to ask me to pick up a part that he needed for HIS toilet, “since I was at Home Depot”. I hung up the phone. The next day he had the nerve to ask me if I purchased the part for his toilet. Needless, to say... I ended it with him. The lesson... he was constantly offering to do work in my home, giving me the impression that he was dependable, caring and concerned... but he showed his true colors that night.
Click to expand...
 
More women who that “wait and see game” works for should speak up.
The ones I know who it “worked” for are miserable. They’re in marriages that are nothing to write home about.
So for me it’s like, “Do you personally know ANY woman who is physically fit, financially comfortable, &/or otherwise living her best (spiritual, emotional, sexual, professional etc etc) life who waited XX YEARS to get married, while: sexing, cleaning, cooking, splitting/paying bills, and having X OOW babies, putting up with cheating/lying &/or various combinations of shenanigans?”
Like, for seriously, do they know even ONE such woman?
Cause when I talk to women who are obviously in some low rent/dead end relationship, they tel me all the crazy auditioning they do, and I ask, “Who do you know that this behavior has netted a favorable result?”
Cause usually, even when “marriage” or “title” or “baby” or whatever is the goal is achieved, that BS relationship is STILL a BS relationship.
I could almost see if it meant social connections, business connections, access to a trust fund/offshore account/shoreland property etc... But the overwhelming majority of women are auditioning to be a low rent dude’s slave.
Talk about a booby prize!
01B01CE0-E2FE-4A1F-9126-DC16C7C88DAE.jpeg
 
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PrissiSippi said:
Moving the Goal Post is a GREAT example

Let's say he says something like YOU DON'T EVEN COOK. I want a wife/girlfriend that can at least cook and you want me to do xyz.

You learn how to cook and he says something like, You think you're the only one that knows how to cook? It's A MILLION of women that know how to cook. That doesn't make you special? You don't even cook that well!!

You learn how to cook well and he comes back with YOU THINK I NEED SOMEONE TO COOK FOR ME? My mother can cook for me! What ELSE can you bring to the table.

Understand that anything you ever do won't be enough. Men use ANY TOOL IN THE TOOLBOX to get their way. If it means manipulating, lying, hurting your feelings, jabbing, or etc. they will do it to GET THEIR WAY. They are STRATEGICALLY SELFISH so we as women need to learn this too. Keep the end goal in mind. Think about what YOU WANT and know your self worth.

Who cares if you can't cook? Men don't get in relationships if they're not benefitting in some kind of way so it must be SOME REASON he is still there. Don't be fooled. It's something for him in the deal. Ignore his words, KEEP THE FOCUS ON YOU, focus on your END GOAL, and live your BEST life by NOT making him the center of your life. PERIODT.
Click to expand...

This is why some women who are very manipulative usually come out on top because they are playing games just like the men, only that they can be better at it. They are good at reading people (because they have to be able to recognize a mark), playing the long con (have to act a certain way in order to achieve their goal/goals) and are never too emotionally invested.

In some ways, all of us are manipulative. Face it, do you tell your boss or superiors certain things that may jeopardize your job? When you're on an interview, don't you present your best self?

Disney and Lifetime really did a number on many of us and the good thing is many of us are learning to do better through social media, message boards and seeing living examples. The social mores of our country are changing and many are learning to live life on our own terms. Just don't give up and settle, no matter what!
 
Browndilocks said:
:yep: It was borderline abusive. He became very controlling and was a level of insecure that I had never seen. Deeply rooted issues. I knew about 4 months in that something was off and this wasn't it. I would complain to my friends and family about it and was made to feel like I was high maintenance and damn near got told off by my own grandmother. They were enamored with him to a point where they turned on me, if you will.

I spent the vast majority of that relationship fighting for myself. I never knew someone who could bring out the ugly in me like that, but I would not concede to him. Then he broke up with me by saying "you're not in line with what I want". I said good because I've been unhappy for a long time... and that's when things got really ugly. I guess because when he threatened me with a break up, I was supposed to beg or convince him that I'd change :rolleyes: . Instead I said "bye ni&&a!" and he got big mad. He did a lot of really nasty and vindictive things but NOTHING would make me talk to him again. He even started going to my church and hanging around places where he'd know I'd be, like he was trying to prove something to me. To this day, he contacts my friends, trying to manipulate them into forcing me to reach out to him, 5 years later. Like recently when his granny died and I had to reiterate how much I didn't GAF about him or his dead decrepit granny.
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But why did it take him to break up with you, for you to stop talking to him?


My sister in law did the same thing. her abusive husband Left her. Now she is doing better and won't take him back. She put up with it for so long that I knew she was co-dependent on him. Which makes her crazy too.

PrissiSippi said:
My bad I typed this stuff on my phone so some of it doesn't make sense I will go back and edit this one.

So this guy was about to lose his family. His girl told him to go to the therapist. He never went. At the last straw when he was about to lose his family he went. He is a coherent abuser. The therapist told him that the people he are in a relationship with need to take a step back and analyze themselves. They are crazy too. This would insinuate that the person in the relationship with him was the problem was the problem, not HIM. He took it as that the person in the relationship was PUSHING him to act abusive.

The person (the supposedly crazy person) was like yeah....they are crazy and they need to re-evaluate why they would stay with a person that disrupts their peace and constantly makes them feel on edge and unsafe.
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He is right his family is co-dependent and crazy too to put up with his behavior.
 
I think the bottom line is WOMEN MUST BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY, early in the game. One strategy I use... is to give the guys I’m dating the impression that I am more into them than I really am. I never say... “I love you”. However, I look at them lovingly, I am kind (not foolish though), patient (until they cross the line), accepting ( tell me all your deepest darkest secrets, because I won’t judge you :)). This allows them to be their true selves early on, and drop their guard ...they get that feeling... “oh, she’ll never leave me”. This strategy cuts down on wasted time. I actually have a time limit, which I do not share with them (3 mos. reduced from 6) . If they are not talking commitment, not introducing me to family members, not investing quality time and money.. then... deuces. No explanation needed, from either side. I don’t try to justify his behavior, he’s friend zoned. Then, on to the next.
 
Because it bears repeating.
The same way women know when they want someone, or don’t; men do. Everything else is game. Funny how we only over complicate this with men we fall too hard and fast for, or have a scarcity mindset about.
livinbestlyfe said:
I think the bottom line is WOMEN MUST BE WILLING TO WALK AWAY, early in the game...If they are not talking commitment, not introducing me to family members, not investing quality time and money.. then... deuces. No explanation needed, from either side. I don’t try to justify his behavior, he’s friend zoned. Then, on to the next.
Click to expand...
 
dancinstallion said:
But why did it take him to break up with you, for you to stop talking to him?


My sister in law did the same thing. her abusive husband Left her. Now she is doing better and won't take him back. She put up with it for so long that I knew she was co-dependent on him. Which makes her crazy too.




He is right his family is co-dependent and crazy too to put up with his behavior.
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post #27
 
She did tell him to f-- off so...she probably is laughing not cuz she thinks its funny but because she was embarrassed.

I might have reacted that way...on camera.

Then: You so sexy...let me give you some... April Fool's! Get out.
 
kxlot79 said:
Because it bears repeating.
The same way women know when they want someone, or don’t; men do. Everything else is game. Funny how we only over complicate this with men we fall too hard and fast for, or have a scarcity mindset about.
Click to expand...
Men will immediately determine that you are not the one.....and... they will also decide that although you may not be the one, you are good enough for sexing on the regular. So, he’ll keep you around in the meantime. Take you out occasionally on a few cheap dates and string you along, just to have regular sex. Ladies have to recognize when they are placed in this category.
 
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livinbestlyfe said:
Men will immediately determine that you are not the one.....and... they will also decide that although you may not be the one, you are good enough for sexing on the regular. So, he’ll keep you around in the meantime. Take you out occasionally on a few cheap dates and string you along, just to have regular sex. Ladies have to recognize when they are placed in this category.
Click to expand...
This goes for women in long-term yet not committed relationships.
 
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