Started a close friendship with another woman, stop talking spending time with the wife. She would call me "Dee have have to noticed anything/ have you heard anything". I'd be like "No, I don't know nothing", but I would be thinking, B1tch, after you tired to get me fired, I ain't telling you a damm thing.
Why is it wrong for the wife to stay home.
- Thread starter IntoMyhair
- Start date
Started a close friendship with another woman, stop talking spending time with the wife. She would call me "Dee have have to noticed anything/ have you heard anything". I'd be like "No, I don't know nothing", but I would be thinking, B1tch, after you tired to get me fired, I ain't telling you a damm thing.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
actually come to think of it I know a really good example: in Cali you have to be married for 10 years to get half of your SOs assets. Tom Cruise divorced Nicole Kidman at 9 years and like 8 months or something like that. Thats some f*cked up ish.
Imagine what would happen to someone that was regular, and you know it happens all the time.
I'm coming up on 10 years next year. What happens if the woman is worth more than the man?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
I'm not a divorce attorney and every state has different divorce laws so I have no idea.
But if there are children involved and the mother receives primary custody, I'm assuming there wouldnt be much given to nothing at all to the ex-husband if he wasnt a SAHD.
Te'TahHead
New Member
OMG!!!!! What a butthole
D.. I wonder does the woman have to pay the man alimony too...if she makes more than him
hopeful
Well-Known Member
I know some do.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
prenup... just saying and staying current in my field, through classes, a case here and there ect. I plan to work just not 8-5. either way I'ma be able to take care of myself.
you ain't lyin.... pre-nups are the only way one would be guaranteed. Even Chris Rock pointed out "you aint gotta be rich to get a pre-nup"
Every well-off white woman I've met has said "pre-nup" to me whenever discussing marriage.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
yuppppps you already know how I feel about this. I aint leaving him!
Lady Esquire
New Member
yep. a woman can pay a man alimony.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
yuppppps you already know how I feel about this. I aint leaving him!
right!
same thing applies to gay couples. This is another reason same-sex marriage is important imo. People have whole families and a spouse can up and leave and have less than heterosexual couples to no obligation at all.
Jodie Foster did this to her SO, who was a SAHM. It's awful.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
She might still have to pay him. Just like some women have to pay child support. I dont see how the laws are different if gender is the sole issue. On soul food Terry had to pay alimony to her husband who turned pro football. Of course thats a TV show but i had to find an example
gymfreak336
New Member
I have no problem saying pre and post nup.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
If I were a SAHM for years with no job or pre-nup, my spouse would have to kill me to divorce me
Imma be damned if I'mma live on the poverty line bc they not in love anymore.
Imma be damned if I'mma live on the poverty line bc they not in love anymore.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
I've been mostly quiet in this thread, because I know that my opinion WILL be offensive to others, and I don't want to go there.
I will say this. Throughout this thread, the focus is on the WOMAN. Almost never did I read (though I'm only on page 17!) any comments about what's best for the CHILDREN. When it comes to motherhood, seems to me like that should be the primary concern.
I will say this. Throughout this thread, the focus is on the WOMAN. Almost never did I read (though I'm only on page 17!) any comments about what's best for the CHILDREN. When it comes to motherhood, seems to me like that should be the primary concern.
Please share your views.
MizzBrown
Well-Known Member
Sooo, I guess the question becomes will the CHILDREN benefit more if mom stays at home or works to bring in the second income.
As a product of my mother working, i reaped the financial benefits i suppose. Would I have had a different childhood, better or worse if moms stayed home? Hmmmmm...
JFemme
Well-Known Member
Last edited:
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
This is true but your children are not happy of you arent. If you are miserable as a SAHM then I highly doubt the children will benefit. Thats JMHO. I was at Walmart the other day and its sooo easy to spot out the ladies who are SAHM and miserable
erplexed. When I was picking up snacks, the kids were all over the place, they didnt listen to her, and she looked like she was about to kill herself. I felt bad for her actually. We dont want the whole Andrea Yates situation to repeat itself People should do whats best for their own situation. For me I cant see myself with my children 24/7. Thats why I think Ill benefit working part time and still somehow be a SAHM. ETA: Share your views
I dont think it will offend anyone. At the end of the day we'll still do "me" regardless.
Last edited:
cocosweet
Well-Known Member
I remember that. I think I've had a grudge against Tom ever since.
cocosweet
Well-Known Member
I think the bolded is key. Everything doesn't work for everybody, and there are pros and cons to either choice.This is true but your children are not happy of you arent. If you are miserable as a SAHM then I highly doubt the children will benefit. Thats JMHO. I was at Walmart the other day and its sooo easy to spot out the ladies who are SAHM and miserable
ETA: Share your views
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
I think the issue is the concept of best for the child -
Or that's what will be offensive, I suppose. I'll start out with the offending.
I, personally, strongly feel that a child deserves to have their parent (not nanny, not gramma, not daycare worker - and I'm talking mama and/or daddy) providing a majority of the hands-on care for that child. I think that, bottom line (assuming mama ain't abusive, of course) is the best option for the child - just for the breastmilk, if nothing else.
I disagree - strongly, vigorously, and sometimes rudely - with the concept of farming off parenthood to a hired employee who has no connection with that child besides the money they are being paid and any emotions they might build up while working with the child, and I'll fully admit (and accept) the fact that I piss people off by saying it.
And if 3/4 of your childs awake time is spent being taken care of, disciplined, taught, encouraged, soothed, fed, talked to, read to, etc by someone other than a parent -
erplexed - plenty of kids come out just FINE - I'm not saying any different - but I'm not sure if that is what's best for the child. Now (and here come the disclaimers) - I think that's the BEST situation. If having mama home means you don't have a roof over your head - well, that's different, obviously. If having mama home means she's popping valiums because she's so depressed - well, that might not be best.
And of course, every parent does, what they feel in their heart, is best for their child (or at least, one would hope). So I can't knock the mama's that feel like working outside of the house - by providing them some sense of 'being' or fulfilling some needs of theirs - allows them to be better mothers. Meh. I don't agree, but it ain't my kid/life/family/household, either.
*waits for the rotten tomatoes*
Cinda2503
New Member
To be a SAHM means sacrifice.
The husband does not have to be make a 6 figure salary+ for the wife to stay at home with the children.
If the husband and wife decide that the mother will stay at home with the children then cuts to the household budget will most defintely be made. Maybe no vacations every year, no premimum channels on cable or no cable at all, no eating out every weekend, no cell phones, etc...
A choice is going to have to be made: Do you want to stay at with your children or have more luxury items in life? Because all of those things I listed are luxuries. There are few neccessites.
The husband does not have to be make a 6 figure salary+ for the wife to stay at home with the children.
If the husband and wife decide that the mother will stay at home with the children then cuts to the household budget will most defintely be made. Maybe no vacations every year, no premimum channels on cable or no cable at all, no eating out every weekend, no cell phones, etc...
A choice is going to have to be made: Do you want to stay at with your children or have more luxury items in life? Because all of those things I listed are luxuries. There are few neccessites.
This is true but your children are not happy of you arent. If you are miserable as a SAHM then I highly doubt the children will benefit. Thats JMHO. I was at Walmart the other day and its sooo easy to spot out the ladies who are SAHM and miserable
ETA: Share your views
I agree, I honestly try to give my kids the best of me, I try to give them what I believe they need from me. If I stayed home it would only be for them, not for me. I enjoy my career, I have worked very hard. BUT I still have moments of tremendous guilt because I have choosen to work but I know if I stayed home I would prob be mean and miserable. Is it worth it?, I still don't know only time will tell.
Cinda2503
New Member
The issue of what is best for the child I feel is what is best for the parents; as long as the parents are happy, confident, and proud of their choices the children will be also. A woman is wants to work and stays home because she feels like she should instead of want to - is doing her children no good and vice versa.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
1. Andrea Yates killed her children because she had a severe psychological disorder, not because she was a SAHM. 
Wow. I've heard people say this mess before and it blows my mind. How can you say you love your children if being in the presence of your kids more than 3 hours a day could bring you to infanticide? 
2. If we want to talk about children who are wild and out of control, then we will have to examine the FACT that children raised in daycares are more likely to be aggressive and violent than those raised by thier parents.
3. Everyone has bad days when thier kids are wild. Why do working moms complain so much about how hard it is to take care of thier kids, that they would kill themselves or kill someone else if they had to be in the company of thier kids? Because they are little angels.
4. Please dont' pity SAHMs. I pity any woman who has been so damaged, so broken inside, that she cannot even love her own children. My god. What did you have kids for if you hate them so much? I dont' think I'd even kill George Bush if I had to live with him. Let alone my own kids...
I'm sorry, I just can't even be in this convo.
Wow. I've heard people say this mess before and it blows my mind. How can you say you love your children if being in the presence of your kids more than 3 hours a day could bring you to infanticide? 2. If we want to talk about children who are wild and out of control, then we will have to examine the FACT that children raised in daycares are more likely to be aggressive and violent than those raised by thier parents.
3. Everyone has bad days when thier kids are wild. Why do working moms complain so much about how hard it is to take care of thier kids, that they would kill themselves or kill someone else if they had to be in the company of thier kids? Because they are little angels.
4. Please dont' pity SAHMs. I pity any woman who has been so damaged, so broken inside, that she cannot even love her own children. My god. What did you have kids for if you hate them so much? I dont' think I'd even kill George Bush if I had to live with him. Let alone my own kids...
I'm sorry, I just can't even be in this convo.
Princess4real
Well-Known Member
IDK, I think I missed it to.
LadyPaniolo
New Member
I think the concept of "Whatever makes mom happy is best" is ludicrous.
I remember a thread about child molestation. Poster after poster said "I was molested in daycare". It happens ALL the TIME. So if Mommy is spending the day at work, while her child is being raped or beaten, and Mom comes home "fulfilled" and smiling from ear to ear, the child is benefitting. I don't think so.
I remember a thread about child molestation. Poster after poster said "I was molested in daycare". It happens ALL the TIME. So if Mommy is spending the day at work, while her child is being raped or beaten, and Mom comes home "fulfilled" and smiling from ear to ear, the child is benefitting. I don't think so.
Similar threads
