My Stay-at-home Wife Wants To Hire A Cleaning Person. Why Can't She Clean?

[Evolving78]

I do believe a stay at home wife is different from a stay at home mom.
The mom is there for the kids. cleaning and being organized for the kids. Not for no man. If my job is for the kids, then that is who I tend to. That's a lot of hard work. Kids need a lot of attention and make big messes. And I know the difference between maintaining a home, verses deep cleaning a home.
If a grown man is eating sandwiches and has wrinkled clothes, then that's his problem. That's a choice he has made.

 

[LushLox]

My son's dad would straight out laugh if I ever suggested to get a cleaner, he would look at me like I'm crazy. But as already has been mentioned his mum was like a superwoman worked several jobs and her house remained pristine so that would be a lost argument automatically. Suffice to say we are no longer together, good guy generally, but far too over bearing and opinionated.

My BF has a cleaner and couldn't survive without her.

 

[greight]

It's all time-value of money. No way in the world is my time less valuable than someone who does cleaning for a living who can optimize his or her process so that I should be the person who needs to clean.

All of these things remind me that I need to marry the right man bc I can't.

 

[IslandMummy]

The perk of having a wife stay at home is that you have someone home that can tend to it. Which is more important: her part time volunteer work or her home. Cleanliness is godliness and I feel if she is a stay at home mother the house will NOT be spotless because she has a preschooler but she should have at least 1-2 hours each day to devote to housework. Plus children pick up on what they see. Her children will subconsciously pick up on this bad habit. I would be mindful of this if I were her.

but why? Housework is tedious drudgery. Why waste time on it?

I utilize a cleaning service and wash and fold laundry. And $5 meals from my favorite Jamaican spot when necessary.

Her husband never has to worry about taking a sick day, has the convenience of being able to put in all the hours needed to advance his career, never has to worry about school or activity pick up for his child, no surprise doctor’s visits in the middle of the work day. Nada. He gets to come home, pat the kid on the head and KIM.

How are you going to quibble over $200 when her staying home allows him to utilize his time how he sees fit? Even if they don’t need a cleaner, it’s something she wants.

If he’s quibbling over $200 that his wife wants to spend on someone doing the deeper weekly or bimonthly cleanings then she can go back to work and he can figure out how to assist in running the kid to and from preschool, and everywhere else.

 

[FemmeFatale]

I'm confused about a few things..no way would I agree to be a SAHM/W to a penny pinching husband. So I've gotta beg for a few extra dollars as your wife when I've had my own career and money? Its not a lot of money and it's benefitting the household.

Like why can't she just have them come on a bimonthly basis? If they can afford it, what is the problem?

I've said it before, I refuse to be a superwoman, wearing myself out thin and being miserable.

All in all, she should play it up well to where she looks like she's managing the kid and home very well, while outsourcing the heavy duty stuff.

 

[hopeful]

Men outsource all kinds of stuff: dry cleaning, grass cutting, house painting, plumbing, electrical work, car repairs, etc. Why is it that when a woman wants/needs to outsource something it's a big deal? Patriarchy, misoginy perhaps? And other women buy into too. A fish doesn't know it's swimming in water. Hatred of women is part of our culture. We make everything as hard as possible for her.

Men get praised for the smallest things. Omg he takes the kid to the doctor! Omg he's faithful? Omg he goes to work and pays bills! He is amazing! Women get criticized for the smallest things. She gained some weight, she's not an immaculate housekeeper, she gets angry and pissed off, she's acting human and like she deserves compassion, equity, support like a man. How dare she!

We want her to explain herself and justify every joy, explain why she needs help. We need to cut it out.

 

[hopeful]

Women are amazing, mystical creatures. We are all different and unique. When our children grow up it will not be the immaculate home we kept that they will remember. It is their mom's essence, her love, her tenderness, her protection, her creativity, her ability to help them reach their goals. Women also do much of the emotional labor in the home for which they get no pay and often no recognition. I have not mopped in years. Deep cleaned in years. I have always hired housekeepers because I could and wanted to. And my family adores me.

Women are complex and beautiful and have so much more to offer than scrubbing floors for free, cooking the perfect meals, etc. My husband reached unbelievable heights in his career because of what I did, what I provided, which was all of me.

 

[yamilee21]

Thank you, @hopeful , for two of the best posts that have ever appeared on this forum.

 

[Zaynab]

Women are amazing, mystical creatures. We are all different and unique. When our children grow up it will not be the immaculate home we kept that they will remember. It is their mom's essence, her love, her tenderness, her protection, her creativity, her ability to help them reach their goals. Women also do much of the emotional labor in the home for which they get no pay and often no recognition. I have not mopped in years. Deep cleaned in years. I have always hired housekeepers because I could and wanted to. And my family adores me.

Women are complex and beautiful and have so much more to offer than scrubbing floors for free, cooking the perfect meals, etc. My husband reached unbelievable heights in his career because of what I did, what I provided, which was all of me.

You have the best posts

 

[IslandMummy]

@hopeful you are a bright light.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Men outsource all kinds of stuff: dry cleaning, grass cutting, house painting, plumbing, electrical work, car repairs, etc. Why is it that when a woman wants/needs to outsource something it's a big deal? Patriarchy, misoginy perhaps? And other women buy into too. A fish doesn't know it's swimming in water. Hatred of women is part of our culture. We make everything as hard as possible for her.

Men get praised for the smallest things. Omg he takes the kid to the doctor! Omg he's faithful? Omg he goes to work and pays bills! He is amazing! Women get criticized for the smallest things. She gained some weight, she's not an immaculate housekeeper, she gets angry and pissed off, she's acting human and like she deserves compassion, equity, support like a man. How dare she!

We want her to explain herself and justify every joy, explain why she needs help. We need to cut it out.

These are one time things. You don't have a plumber every month. Your car doesn't break down every month. The grass gets cut every two weeks. Maybe every week. You are not hanging up fans and changing out plugs every week. I don't know that many regular people who do the dry cleaning every week unless they are lawyers/specialty doctors. I think this just sounds good to make an excuse for the woman to outsource.

If you're a stay at home wife/mom many say you are on permanent vacation. Your husband was your retirement plan or whatever. But ain't no vacation bihh nurturing your home is your job. Maintaining a clean house is in that job description. It shouldn't take all day to clean. We talking on every hour a day. Any more than that and you have too much stuff. Throw some of that crap away. I don't think deep cleaning sessions outsourced are too muc to ask but weekly cleaning lady...give me a break. I feel if this was a white woman we would drag her for her "laziness". It's lazy. And if she feels like she NEEDS to have a cleaning lady she should privately pay for it from her own passive source of income. And preferably without her husband knowing.

 

[hopeful]

If you're a stay at home wife/mom you are on permanent vacation.
...

If you believe the bolded then everything you said makes perfect sense. I don't see stay at home mom's that way though. Also, nurturing a home can mean different things to different people. I just wanted to share my thoughts. We'll have to agree to disagree.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Women are amazing, mystical creatures. We are all different and unique. When our children grow up it will not be the immaculate home we kept that they will remember. It is their mom's essence, her love, her tenderness, her protection, her creativity, her ability to help them reach their goals. Women also do much of the emotional labor in the home for which they get no pay and often no recognition. I have not mopped in years. Deep cleaned in years. I have always hired housekeepers because I could and wanted to. And my family adores me.

Women are complex and beautiful and have so much more to offer than scrubbing floors for free, cooking the perfect meals, etc. My husband reached unbelievable heights in his career because of what I did, what I provided, which was all of me.

i agree with all of this but cleaning is a very important skill that is overlooked in America. I look up the Rori Way and all this minimalist stuff that I'm unable to do on the board all the time. I just can't do it. I've been trying since 2008. One reason is because my mother was not the best house keeper. I buy things that I see versus what I need. I grocery shop based on what's on sale not what have I used up so I like it on top of each other. I don't have the natural s of mopping or sweeping efficiently. I just learned how to cook. And for the life of me I don't know how to "clean as I go" when I'm cooking. All of this is because of an unaware mother. Yeah she gave me some good traits and lots of time. Every piano recital she paid for me to go to college she came to every choir and band performance or competition. She made sure she hugged me every day and talked to me frequently. But she was exhausted as a parent. She worked full time and honestly when you try to do it all something suffers. In her case it was house cleaning. Because of this I suffer. I got this why the heck I gotta do it attitude. I question everything. I throw gender roles away like it's disgusting bile because "I got too many degrees to be a maid" which is an over exaggeration when you just want me to wash some dishes lol. But being a stay at home mother you have the time to not make this your children's fate.

Love, attentiveness, presence, AND the mechanism how a mother nurtured her home are all important. It sets the inner voice on how a girl treats her home and future husband and how a boy expects his future wife to treat him and what he needs to do to get it.

 

[qchelle]

These are one time things. You don't have a plumber every month. Your car doesn't break down every month. The grass gets cut every two weeks. Maybe every week. You are not hanging up fans and changing out plugs every week. I don't know that many regular people who do the dry cleaning every week unless they are lawyers/specialty doctors. I think this just sounds good to make an excuse for the woman to outsource.

If you're a stay at home wife/mom many say you are on permanent vacation. Your husband was your retirement plan or whatever. But ain't no vacation bihh nurturing your home is your job. Maintaining a clean house is in that job description. It shouldn't take all day to clean. We talking on every hour a day. Any more than that and you have too much stuff. Throw some of that crap away. I don't think deep cleaning sessions outsourced are too muc to ask but weekly cleaning lady...give me a break. I feel if this was a white woman we would drag her for her "laziness". It's lazy. And if she feels like she NEEDS to have a cleaning lady she should privately pay for it from her own passive source of income. And preferably without her husband knowing.

Do you feel like learning to properly outsource/delegate things you don't want to do is an important/valuable skill to teach children?

 

[hopeful]

I'm not saying a clean home isn't important. It is. IMO immaculate is not necessary. I'm assuming most people have to wash dishes and clothes, straighten up daily, etc. unless they have a live in maid which I can't imagine. I think hiring a housekeeper is acknowledging the need for a clean home. I understand where you are coming from and all of our childhoods affect us in different ways. So I get what you are saying. But saying I'm too good to clean and saying I need help are too different things. Saying I don't enjoy this or it's not my strength is okay IMO. But it's okay if we disagree. That's why this forum is so wonderful, so many different takes on the same topics.

I am personally concerned about women feeling and being reduced to tasks when they offer so much more and are so much more.

 

[qchelle]

i agree with all of this but cleaning is a very important skill that is overlooked in America. I look up the Rori Way and all this minimalist stuff that I'm unable to do on the board all the time. I just can't do it. I've been trying since 2008. One reason is because my mother was not the best house keeper. I buy things that I see versus what I need. I grocery shop based on what's on sale not what have I used up so I like it on top of each other. I don't have the natural s of mopping or sweeping efficiently. I just learned how to cook. And for the life of me I don't know how to "clean as I go" when I'm cooking. All of this is because of an unaware mother. Yeah she gave me some good traits and lots of time. Every piano recital she paid for me to go to college she came to every choir and band performance or competition. She made sure she hugged me every day and talked to me frequently. But she was exhausted as a parent. She worked full time and honestly when you try to do it all something suffers. In her case it was house cleaning. Because of this I suffer. I got this why the heck I gotta do it attitude. I question everything. I throw gender roles away like it's disgusting bile because "I got too many degrees to be a maid" which is an over exaggeration when you just want me to wash some dishes lol. But being a stay at home mother you have the time to not make this your children's fate.

Love, attentiveness, presence, AND the mechanism how a mother nurtured her home are all important. It sets the inner voice on how a girl treats her home and future husband and how a boy expects his future wife to treat him and what he needs to do to get it.

My mom didn't clean either. Anything, ever. I've literally never seen my mom wash a dish, bathroom, vacuum, tidy up, nothing lol. I wonder what her nesting looked like lol. I also never cleaned anything. I don't remember ever being told to clean up, clean my room, clean up song, chores, nothing.

But as an adult, I clean. I like cleaning! Well, its not my fav thing to do, but i certainly don't mind cleaning at all. Especially the bathroom...i do actually like cleaning the bathroom. I wonder how that happened!

For reference, my dad cleaned. He was the cleaner.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Do you feel like learning to properly outsource/delegate things you don't want to do is an important/valuable skill to teach children?

No. There are plenty of necessary "Things you don't want to do" in life. Unless it takes too much time away from the most important thing in your life -- family...no.

 

[LivingInPeace]

These are one time things. You don't have a plumber every month. Your car doesn't break down every month. The grass gets cut every two weeks. Maybe every week. You are not hanging up fans and changing out plugs every week. I don't know that many regular people who do the dry cleaning every week unless they are lawyers/specialty doctors. I think this just sounds good to make an excuse for the woman to outsource.

If you're a stay at home wife/mom many say you are on permanent vacation. Your husband was your retirement plan or whatever. But ain't no vacation bihh nurturing your home is your job. Maintaining a clean house is in that job description. It shouldn't take all day to clean. We talking on every hour a day. Any more than that and you have too much stuff. Throw some of that crap away. I don't think deep cleaning sessions outsourced are too muc to ask but weekly cleaning lady...give me a break. I feel if this was a white woman we would drag her for her "laziness". It's lazy. And if she feels like she NEEDS to have a cleaning lady she should privately pay for it from her own passive source of income. And preferably without her husband knowing.

Why are you telling people what their roles are and what their job is? What people should be doing is running their households in the way that works for them. A couple gets to decide for themselves how they divide up responsibilities. You don't get to decide what another woman's job is in her house.

 

[PrissiSippi]

My mom didn't clean either. Anything, ever. I've literally never seen my mom wash a dish, bathroom, vacuum, tidy up, nothing lol. I wonder what her nesting looked like lol. I also never cleaned anything. I don't remember ever being told to clean up, clean my room, clean up song, chores, nothing.

But as an adult, I clean. I like cleaning! Well, its not my fav thing to do, but i certainly don't mind cleaning at all. Especially the bathroom...i do actually like cleaning the bathroom. I wonder how that happened!

For reference, my dad cleaned. He was the cleaner.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Why are you telling people what their roles are and what their job is? What people should be doing is running their households in the way that works for them. A couple gets to decide for themselves how they divide up responsibilities. You don't get to decide what another woman's job is in her house.

This is not a dictatorship, and if it came across that way that was not my point. I apologize. My point is it is very easy to get wrapped up into "I ain't slaving behind no man" "I'm not reducing myself to be no home-maker" "Women reduce themselves to JUST being a cook and cleaner" "That wigga gon cheat anyway clean home or not." I feel a lot of times we like to say these things because it's the majority. It sounds good because it's what the majority believes.

However if you have the choice to stay at home the reason for that was to run your home better. To nurture your home better. That includes cleaning.

That's the trade off. As a man why would I have to fund for this and you are able to do this basic task that only takes maybe an hour a day?

You Work? Aight I understand you NEED a cleaning lady. You do not work? You're at home all day with the kids? You have the time and mental peace to keep your house maintained including cleaning your home. If you do not I feel you shouldn't push that responsibility to your husband to pay for it. That's laziness on YOUR part. My personal opinion is that you should fund it and do so privately.

We all have stuff we don't like doing. We have a washer and dryer. I hate laundry. It takes too long to me. I feel it would not be fair to require my husband pay me to take the clothes to the laundromat when we have a washer and dryer at home. My laziness/diligence disallows me to complete the laundry not my circumstances. I pay for it from my own money to go to the laundromat and wash all the clothes at one time and dryer them to cut down on time and my labor. I feel this is fair.

 

[qchelle]

This is not a dictatorship and if it came across that way that was not my point. I apologize. My point is it is very easy to get wrapped up into "I ain't slaving behind no man" "In not reducing myself to be no home-maker" "Women reduce themselves to JUST being a cook and cleaner" "That wigga gon cheat anyway clean home or not" I feel a lot of times we like to say these things because it's the majority. It sounds good because it's what the majority believes.

However if you have the choice to stay at home the reason for that was to run your home better. To nurture your home better. That includes cleaning. That's the trade off. Work? Aight I understand you NEED a cleaning lady. You do not work? You're at home all day with the kids? You have the time and mental peace to keep your maintained including cleaning. If you do my I feel you shouldn't push that responsibility to your husband to pay for it. That's laziness on YOUR part. You should fund it and privately.

We all have stuff we don't like doing. We have a washer and dryer. I hate laundry. It takes too long to me. I feel it would not be fair to require my husband pay me to take the clothes to the laundromat when we have a washer and dryer at home. My laziness/diligence disallows me to complete the laundry not my circumstances. I pay for it from my own money to go to the laundromat and wash all the clothes at one time and dryer them to cut down on time and my labor. I feel this is fair.

Wait. You said you DO have a washer/dryer at home and you go to the laundromat on purpose because of laziness? You're saying that going to the laundromat, when you have a washer/dryer, is lazy? Like the laundromat helps you?

Yo what kind of laundromats y'all got down there?! Lol

 

[PrissiSippi]

but why? Housework is tedious drudgery. Why waste time on it?

I utilize a cleaning service and wash and fold laundry. And $5 meals from my favorite Jamaican spot when necessary.

Her husband never has to worry about taking a sick day, has the convenience of being able to put in all the hours needed to advance his career, never has to worry about school or activity pick up for his child, no surprise doctor’s visits in the middle of the work day. Nada. He gets to come home, pat the kid on the head and KIM.

How are you going to quibble over $200 when her staying home allows him to utilize his time how he sees fit? Even if they don’t need a cleaner, it’s something she wants.

If he’s quibbling over $200 that his wife wants to spend on someone doing the deeper weekly or bimonthly cleanings then she can go back to work and he can figure out how to assist in running the kid to and from preschool, and everywhere else.

it kinds boils down to what she does not want to do. The general consensus is She should be able to outsource what she does not want to do.

Well what if she wasn't the motherly type? She doesn't want to go to PTA meetings. She would like to hire a nanny.

She does not like communicate with doctors so she will still expect her husband to leave work and talk to the doctors because he is a better speaker or pay someone a small fee to get it done for her.

Bruhhhh that's what you staying at home for. To make sure our house runs smoother. I don't think he should have to pick up all this slack and pay and you stay home. Laziness to me.

 

[PrissiSippi]

Wait. You said you DO have a washer/dryer at home and you go to the laundromat on purpose because of laziness? You're saying that going to the laundromat, when you have a washer/dryer, is lazy? Like the laundromat helps you?

Yo what kind of laundromats y'all got down there?! Lol

Lol the laundry mat has two options. It's right down the street. If I just take the clothes to them they will sort wash dry and fold them for me for $15 a load. Or I can take them and load them myself (which is what I usually do) stay for 30 minutes and throw them in the dryer.

At the house I'm only doing one load at a time. It takes me too long to do laundry I don't have the patience. At the laundry mat I can wash and dry all clothes at the same time. We're talking 4-5 hours versus 1 hour. It's laziness on my part because I could organize my day and just wash clothes every night before bed and every morning I wake up and have all the clothes done but my brain doesn't work like that and I hate it. So I just pay the extra money to get it done but I don't feel it would be right for me to ask DH for an extra $100-200 a month for something that I'm just too lazy to do. DH HATES cutting the grass I would be bout to fight if he ever asked me to pay for a landscaper to come do something he could very well do. We do have a landscaper come maybe once a month but that's on hubby's wallet not mine.

 

[qchelle]

Lol the laundry mat has two options. It's right down the street. If I just take the clothes to them they will sort wash dry and fold them for me for $15 a load. Or I can take them and load them myself (which is what I usually do) stay for 30 minutes and throw them in the dryer.

At the house I'm only doing one load at a time. It takes me too long to do laundry I don't have the patience. At the laundry mat I can wash and dry all clothes at the same time. We're talking 4-5 hours versus 1 hour. It's laziness on my part because I could organize my day and just wash clothes every night before bed and every morning I wake up and have all the clothes done but my brain doesn't work like that and I hate it. So I just pay the extra money to get it done but I don't feel it would be right for me to ask DH for an extra $100-200 a month for something that I'm just too lazy to do. DH HATES cutting the grass I would be bout to fight if he ever asked me to pay for a landscaper to come do something he could very well do. We do have a landscaper come maybe once a month but that's on hubby's wallet not mine.

Re: laundry. Wow! That is such an interesting pov! I would rather spend the 4-5hrs doing laundry naked, in the comfort of my home. Cuz I can do other things, naked, while it's washing/drying like watch tv and stuff. Going out to do anything is the anti-laziness to me lol.

 

[tapioca_pudding]

it kinds boils down to what she does not want to do. The general consensus is She should be able to outsource what she does not want to do.

Well what if she wasn't the motherly type? She doesn't want to go to PTA meetings. She would like to hire a nanny.

She does not like communicate with doctors so she will still expect her husband to leave work and talk to the doctors because he is a better speaker or pay someone a small fee to get it done for her.

Bruhhhh that's what you staying at home for. To make sure our house runs smoother. I don't think he should have to pick up all this slack and pay and you stay home. Laziness to me.

.
That's not every woman's purpose for staying home/not working. And that's not every man's intent for his wife, to be at home cooking and cleaning and child rearing, lest she be deemed lazy. And I think it was @IslandMummy who referenced earlier how even if I spent $500 a month on things like buying pre-made dinner, laundry, cleaning service etc, that PALES in comparison to the benefits he will reap from me not working. PALES. If a woman can't see her worth beyond cooking and cleaning and child rearing in order to stay home/not work, I think there's a bigger issue afoot.

I do agree w/ @hopeful that it's sad how women are typically reduced to tasks. And if we don't comply with our given "roles" then we're lazy and dragging our men down. I tend to be traditional in my thinking when it comes to marriage arrangement for the most part, but I'll be damned if someone deemed me lazy cuz I call Molly Maid sometimes. So if hubby calls in sick one day just for a mental break, is he lazy too? Is he not complying with his "role"?

 

[PrissiSippi]

Re: laundry. Wow! That is such an interesting pov! I would rather spend the 4-5hrs doing laundry naked, in the comfort of my home. Cuz I can do other things, naked, while it's washing/drying like watch tv and stuff. Going out to do anything is the anti-laziness to me lol.

Lol I like being nekkid too. Nekkid not doing laundry though.

 

[PrissiSippi]

.
That's not every woman's purpose for staying home/not working. And that's not every man's intent for his wife, to be at home cooking and cleaning and child rearing, lest she be deemed lazy. And I think it was @IslandMummy who referenced earlier how even if I spent $500 a month on things like buying pre-made dinner, laundry, cleaning service etc, that PALES in comparison to the benefits he will reap from me not working. PALES. If a woman can't see her worth beyond cooking and cleaning and child rearing in order to stay home/not work, I think there's a bigger issue afoot.

I do agree w/ @hopeful that it's sad how women are typically reduced to tasks. And if we don't comply with our given "roles" then we're lazy and dragging our men down. I tend to be traditional in my thinking when it comes to marriage arrangement for the most part, but I'll be damned if someone deemed me lazy cuz I call Molly Maid sometimes. So if hubby calls in sick one day just for a mental break, is he lazy too? Is he not complying with his "role"?

Apples vs oranges.

That's what I was pointing to earlier. This stuff sounds good as heck to make you say Yaaaaaaaaz hunny! *two snaps* But it's reaching to me.

Nobody reducing this chick just because it's my opinion she should keep her house maintained. In her free time she could be a philanthropist. Famous painter. World traveler. Marathon runner. (But these are usually who she is not why she chose to stay at home) I just believe her house and family comes first above all no matter what. And that's the point of staying at home. Like what other reason is there other health reasons?

To answer your question though: take off One day? No he is not. But if he takes off EVERY week (like we're talking about getting a cleaning lady EVERY week) and there is nothing wrong with him. Yes. He is lazy.

 

[ladysaraii]

Where's the eye roll smiley when you need it? Girl you gone on ahead and clean your house.

Why are you telling people what their roles are and what their job is? What people should be doing is running their households in the way that works for them. A couple gets to decide for themselves how they divide up responsibilities. You don't get to decide what another woman's job is in her house.

Thank you.

 

[IslandMummy]

it kinds boils down to what she does not want to do. The general consensus is She should be able to outsource what she does not want to do.

Well what if she wasn't the motherly type? She doesn't want to go to PTA meetings. She would like to hire a nanny.

She does not like communicate with doctors so she will still expect her husband to leave work and talk to the doctors because he is a better speaker or pay someone a small fee to get it done for her.

Bruhhhh that's what you staying at home for. To make sure our house runs smoother. I don't think he should have to pick up all this slack and pay and you stay home. Laziness to me.

Yes. I did not do shot visits. Ever. After the first one???? Issa no. I learned my lesson. Never ever happened after that. I go to well check ups and sick visits. DH adjusts his schedule accordingly.

As to outsourcing tasks we don’t want to do, just because one wants help doing deep cleaning/does not want to clean does not mean one wants to oursource their parenting . That’s slippery slope and unnecessary tactic to try and bolster your point.

I have tile floors throughout except for two bedrooms and they need to be mopped daily, that’s a good two hours of just sweeping and mopping. Vacuuming is another twenty minutes. Counters have to be wiped, bathrooms cleaned, laundry done. That’s just daily stuff. Not including dusting tables, TVs.

Having to deep clean is a completely different type of cleaning. Baseboards, cleaning the fridge, stairs, ceiling fans, shampooing the carpets, taking down the curtains, really scrubbing the showers, the windows etc.

I am not now, nor have I ever, been staying home to be a maid or cook or to run the house. I’m staying home to be here for his children. That’s it. They get sick in the middle of the day? I’m here to get them. Need a ride to tutoring, tennis or mandarin? I’m your girl.

Do I do other household things? As I please and because I please. If staying at home no longer benefits me, then I’m going to work. What’s the point of being here if I’m supposed to be Cinderella with the mice and singing birds.

 

[IslandMummy]

Apples vs oranges.

That's what I was pointing to earlier. This stuff sounds good as heck to make you say Yaaaaaaaaz hunny! *two snaps* But it's reaching to me.

Nobody reducing this chick just because it's my opinion she should keep her house maintained. In her free time she could be a philanthropist. Famous painter. World traveler. Marathon runner. (But these are usually who she is not why she chose to stay at home) I just believe her house and family comes first above all no matter what. And that's the point of staying at home. Like what other reason is there other health reasons?

To answer your question though: take off One day? No he is not. But if he takes off EVERY week (like we're talking about getting a cleaning lady EVERY week) and there is nothing wrong with him. Yes. He is lazy.

that explains a lot.