Is A Man Wrong For Stepping In To Defend His Wife
- Thread starter FemmeFatale
- Start date
jeanghrey
Well-Known Member
Define stepping in...if you mean trying to keep a situation from escalating to where someone could get hurt you damn skippy he better jump in; if you mean trash talking beside me, don't need him for that....I think its only natural though that a husband wants to protect his wife...I don't fux with men who aren't about protecting theirs.....
Seeing any dude go word for word with a woman is an immediate turn off because, where I'm from, men simply do not argue with women beyond amicable debates. Should a disagreement arise, I expect him to diffuse things by removing us both from the situation while using his body to block any aggression or physical attacks. A dude arguing with a chick is punk *** move, IMO.
reeko43
Well-Known Member
I do think it depends on the situation. If the man has to step in he should do whatever he can not to cause harm and only use force reasonable to the situation. I also think the woman should refrain, when possible, from escalating a situation to the point of needing defense. Some pop off at the mouth and hide behind their man hoping he will come to their rescue.
Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy Note 2
Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy Note 2
Last edited:
DeepBluSea
Well-Known Member
Not PC, but my DH has a "crazy" switch. Mess with me or the kids and that switch is flipped. He is not a violent person and only defends himself if necessary. He has been face to face with a neighbor threatening me and when some crazy driver almost mowed down DH and some other parents and kids in the school parking lot. 2 incidents in 14 years I've known him.
Why is a woman trying to physically attack me?There would be no need to defend me, because I would run in the opposite direction at once
I will run if I am on my own, but if he is there to take care of me, I will sit pretty.
A verbal sparring will stress him out so I wouldn't even engage in it with him there. He doesn't like raised voices. It took him a while to get used to the Nigerian conversation tone.
Last edited:
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I will run if I am on my own, but if he is there to take care of me, I will sit pretty.
A verbal sparring will stress him out so I wouldn't even engage in it with him there. He doesn't like raised voices. It took him a while to get used to the Nigerian conversation tone.
Every time I read your posts I die laughing
Ivonnovi
Well-Known Member
To answer the question NO HE IS NOT. We would all do well to thoroughly understand the legal definitons of the term Assault and the term Battery.
A WHOLE LOT OF CASES HAVE BEEN CAUGHT [and lost] based on someones feelings/opinions.
If in your perception the person approaching is both Threatening, and has the means to cause you harm; that is Assault and you can protect yourself/famiily.
No, hitting should not be the first choice; but a reasonable attempt to deter someone from doing harm such as elbow grabbing is IMHO acceptable; To be honest the situation on RHOA would take a court case to figure out, who felt treatened and who went to far.
Side note from my less than sensible mind: Kenya is constantly exhibing behaviors that would bring her stability into question. When her elbow was grabbed that was a cue to calm down; she could/should have stopped dead in her tracks, but she didn't. That was the spark that ignited the fight. Didn't she twirl out into traffic about 2 episodes ago?
A WHOLE LOT OF CASES HAVE BEEN CAUGHT [and lost] based on someones feelings/opinions.
If in your perception the person approaching is both Threatening, and has the means to cause you harm; that is Assault and you can protect yourself/famiily.
No, hitting should not be the first choice; but a reasonable attempt to deter someone from doing harm such as elbow grabbing is IMHO acceptable; To be honest the situation on RHOA would take a court case to figure out, who felt treatened and who went to far.
Side note from my less than sensible mind: Kenya is constantly exhibing behaviors that would bring her stability into question. When her elbow was grabbed that was a cue to calm down; she could/should have stopped dead in her tracks, but she didn't. That was the spark that ignited the fight. Didn't she twirl out into traffic about 2 episodes ago?
SincerelyJane
New Member
I'm... opinionated so I can get into it with people and anyone who is involved with me knows that. Men have either stepped in front of me or pull me out of it. It's never been the case where I was a passive victim, just sitting there while someone is threatening me, that's just not me so my experiences might not be relevant to the situation.
Last edited:
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
90% olf the time the men need to stay out of it.
women handling women are one thing, men are another. tbh, I would get somebody's husband arrested foir harassment or assault for coming at me all crazy.
like I said, the men need to stay out of it.
women handling women are one thing, men are another. tbh, I would get somebody's husband arrested foir harassment or assault for coming at me all crazy.
like I said, the men need to stay out of it.
AHeadOfCoils
Well-Known Member
THIS! I'm not passive either. If someone was to even raise their voice at me, I know to stand up and prepare myself for anything. DH might try to warn the woman to turn it down, since he knows that it only takes a few short words/looks to get me started.
We're not the standard, so I can accept the difference of opinions in this situation.
SoopremeBeing
Well-Known Member
My SO is not one to argue with a random, ratchet broad on the street.
However if she's got the gall to swing on a dude for no reason, all bets are off. My SO wont hit a woman, but I will.
However if she's got the gall to swing on a dude for no reason, all bets are off. My SO wont hit a woman, but I will.
BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
As I said before, I don't think Christopher was defending his wife so much as grabbing Kenya out of anger. He needed the excuse, she gave it to him.
Future SO/DH should block or preferably, grab me up. Not put his hands on another woman, period. The different genders should stay out of the other's fights.
Future SO/DH should block or preferably, grab me up. Not put his hands on another woman, period. The different genders should stay out of the other's fights.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I think a man stepping in would drive the aggressor even more bonkers. Probably out of jealousy. I've seen it happen, lol.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
Yikes between siblings?! What did he do?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
completely disagree.
A lot of women have been in abusive situations, raised in an abusive environment or have seen a man hit a woman before. That's not a memory and visual most people, male or female, can shake.
that said, if anything a man getting involved is likely a trigger for many women.
If any man, loved or other, comes at me too aggressive I'm immediately on the defense. All I see is RED. I'm out for blood. then I'm getting him arrested as preventative future measure and a life lesson......
MizAvalon
Well-Known Member
FH would never let anyone assault me in any way, verbally or physically.
He would never put his hands on a woman but he would block her from reaching me by stepping between us. If it were a man who got out of pocket, it would just get ugly and punches would probably be thrown.
He would never put his hands on a woman but he would block her from reaching me by stepping between us. If it were a man who got out of pocket, it would just get ugly and punches would probably be thrown.
Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
i know my SO would do both. if im getting my butt wooped beyond recognition both boy or girl he will will defend me physically and he had said that multiple times, he can not watch that, and him just breaking it up will not be enough, he said he would just break it up if it was my mom and sis though, if it's anybody else all goes
ThirdEyeBeauty
Well-Known Member
THIS! I'm not passive either. If someone was to even raise their voice at me, I know to stand up and prepare myself for anything. DH might try to warn the woman to turn it down, since he knows that it only takes a few short words/looks to get me started.
Wow, ladies can be gangstas
. I'm not passive either which is why no woman in her right mind would come at me verbally or physically. All I know is self-defense and that means somebody is going to the hospital and I would rather it not be me. I want my man to save me from all of that. I need to get away fast before someone pulls out a knife or gun. I don't know this world of verbal fights though. I have never experienced it and hope I never will. I'm not having a verbal fight with anyone and I hope my man straightens out anyone that doesn't understand that from my own actions and warnings. Actually I probably would have been long gone from people like that. I hope so. People are crazy.
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
completely disagree.
A lot of women have been in abusive situations, raised in an abusive environment or have seen a man hit a woman before. That's not a memory and visual most people, male or female, can shake.
that said, if anything a man getting involved is likely a trigger for many women.
If any man, loved or other, comes at me too aggressive I'm immediately on the defense. All I see is RED. I'm out for blood. then I'm getting him arrested as preventative future measure and a life lesson......
While I'm not negating what you're saying, I'm talking about a man diffusing a situation/blocking his SO not throwing blows with hoodrats and the like.
I am fine with him shutting things down, there's no way he'd just watch me get disrespected or harmed
Last edited:
janiebaby
Well-Known Member
Thanks. I wasn't there so I can't say what he was doing but I didn't get the idea when I watched it on tv that he was defending his wife until I came on here. It looked like he was embarrassed that she wouldn't engage him (a man) in an argument and touching her when she walked past him was trying to get her to stop and listen to him. I've seen it happen many many times and that's what I got from the scene. I've even seen women go ape s*** when their man looks like their ignoring them in an emotional situation so I've seen it both ways and that's why it looked like what it looked like to me.
That's what I thought I saw but to everyone else it looked like chris thought kenya was going to attack his wife so ok. On the opposite end, at no point, did I think he was gonna physically assault her (no i don't think him touching her is assault) but I do know things can go left really quick and people do things they didn't have intentions on doing in the beginning perhaps like Apollo thinking he was just breaking up a fight if... that's what he was doing.
Another ETA: Didn't Sheree pull Kim's wig when Kim was trying to walk away from her? Yep that burns people up.
Last edited:
ThirdEyeBeauty
Well-Known Member
I just watched a clip from RHOA. Lawd, nobody have time for all that talk mess. As you can see I would make a horrible reality show actress. I would just stare and/or walk away on every episode. They would have to find someone to replace me because I would be so boring.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
You can tell who has/hasnt been in the situation before. Doesnt even matter which side of the argument/fight. Any woman that's been in or exposed to a similar situation knows to keep the men out of it. esp if it's a man you love and he loves you.....
janiebaby
Well-Known Member
Which reminds me of something that was on my mind yesterday....I wonder when todd and apollo heard about chuck's words? I don't remember it being on the show but I may have missed it.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Kandi is/going to be another Cynthia. Cynthia stay involving her husband in some bs. That's why Peter is always involved in drama BECAUSE OF CYNTHIA. It's like Cynthia is trying to turn Peter into a villain or most hated person. He's starting to resent it and it's clear the toll it's beginning to weigh on the relationship. You mark my words, Cynthia and Peter WILL be divorced.
Women should and need to know how to manage their own drama. The person who does this best is Nene. That's why she's been married for the longest, almost 20 years.......
FemmeFatale
Well-Known Member
I've never been involved in anything like that. Closest thing was some random chick trying to get my man's attention while we were dancing and he ruffled her feathers by kissing me, lol.
Similar threads
