Is it okay for Married Couples to Spend the Night away from home?

[Country gal]

I must not be marriage material because I would want to be away at least every 3 months just to be alone..I enjoy me time by myself alot which may be while Im still single after 3 yrs...I don't understand how a man could think I should be with him every night..i get tired of seeing you at times I need some time to miss you..

This is very much me. I love my me time. I always end up with guys that love to be around me 24/7. My lil man goes away for the summers so I really cut up. This summer I slowed down a lot for him. I still need my nights out to just have fun.

 

[Country gal]

I'm like Dlewis, those trips away are few and far between. I just don't enjoy being away from my family very often, never liked clubbing, a day away with the girls is enough for me, days, uhm no thanks, it's just not fun to me. I have friends that do lots of partying and trips with girls and their dh's don't seem to mind. What really matters is that the two of you come to an agreement or compromise because for real stuff like that can cause a lot fighting and arguments. I was fortunate that dh and I were similiar as far as our views on late night partying and trips with other people--like I said it happens very seldom. It makes it easier when you have similiar views on things like this.

We are very different in that sense. I am more laid back kinda girl whereas he has very set ideas and expectations. He doesn't like for me to hug non family members.

 

[Country gal]

Do you think that the difference between the older generations view marriage and how we view marriage as far as acceptable vs. unacceptable could explain why those marriages tended to last so much longer than the marriages today?

I think so. My So is pushing 40 but he has his father's ways. He believes that a couple should spend most of their time together not apart. He also thinks women show too much so he prefers more conservative types of clothing. I am more of the new wave of thinking re marriages. I think it is healthy to get a break but hey I am not married so what do I know.

 

[Kurlee]

My husband and I never spend a night away from one another. I have gone out of town to visit my parents two times without him. One time before our daughter was born and one time when our daughter was one year old. The only issue he has with me going to my parents home is that their house is haunted erplexed....it really is, but that's another post.

I do not think that he would be too comfortable with the idea of me going out of town with friends though. I am willing to bet that he would have much to say. And I already know I would oppose to the idea of him wanting to go w/o out me.

We both can be a tad bit stingy when it comes to things like this

her (ur daughter in siggy) eyes are gorgeous!

 

[daydreem2876]

i am not married

but at this point, spending the night away apart because we are upset with one another is unacceptable. all other circumstances will be negotiable.

 

[Nina_deF]

I must not be marriage material because I would want to be away at least every 3 months just to be alone..I enjoy me time by myself alot which may be while Im still single after 3 yrs...I don't understand how a man could think I should be with him every night..i get tired of seeing you at times I need some time to miss you..

I also enjoy me time and my husband knew it before we got married, no problem.

Twice a year I check in to a hotel in another city, spending my time reading a book or two, taking a bath (!), enjoying long hotel breakfasts, might slip down to a bar, sipping on a glas of wine looking at people, being totally quiet and not hearing MOMMY every 3 seconds.
I come home refreshed and loving everybody.
Not a problem.

I also go to spas with my friends where we get massages, wear too much makeup, enjoy too much wine and talking and laughing.
Not a problem.

My husband travels alot in business, sometimes I'll come, sometimes not, it's nice to have the time to miss him now and then.

I love my family but I went in to this being Nina and Nina doesn't just go away because there is a ring on my finger.

 

[MyHeavenlyFatherKnows]

....Hm... depends on who the friends are.
Are they all single except for my DH?
Also depends on where they are going (topic of interest, etc). For me personally, just "going to see a place" might not be enough.

Either way, for anything longer than a couple of hours, the friends need to be of equitable moral character and preferably married.

 

[GreenD]

I also enjoy me time and my husband knew it before we got married, no problem.

Twice a year I check in to a hotel in another city, spending my time reading a book or two, taking a bath (!), enjoying long hotel breakfasts, might slip down to a bar, sipping on a glas of wine looking at people, being totally quiet and not hearing MOMMY every 3 seconds.
I come home refreshed and loving everybody.
Not a problem.

I also go to spas with my friends where we get massages, wear too much makeup, enjoy too much wine and talking and laughing.
Not a problem.

My husband travels alot in business, sometimes I'll come, sometimes not, it's nice to have the time to miss him now and then.

I love my family but I went in to this being Nina and Nina doesn't just go away because there is a ring on my finger.

I totally agree. I personally think it's healthy to take some time to do you, even if it means you spend a weekend alone to gather your thoughts and redefine yourself as a woman, a wife, a mother, etc. That way you're refreshed and I think the hubby will appreciate having you back and seeing you well rested/refreshed, and you'll feel rejuvenated too. Win-win situation.

My mom actually told me to do the same thing you do, to take a weekend twice a year to regroup. I went away earlier this year for a few days, so I'll need to plan another weekend soon.

 

[gabulldawg]

I don't see the big deal with married couples spending an occasional night or two away from each other. My mother occasionally takes trips to visit fam without my dad. He works a lot and sometimes just doesn't have the time to do. She has to "check in" with him and let him know that she made it safely. Other than that, she doesn't really have any requirements (i.e.,. has to call every night, hourly, etc.). I guess it's fine because he knows where she is and who she is with. I don't think she's ever gone on any overnight girls' trips. She has taken day trips with some of her female friends, but that's about it.

My dad never takes any leisure trips without my mom, but he does go away on business fairly regulary (not weekly), so I guess it all balances out.

I can already tell that my SO isn't very fond of "leaving me behind," so I wouldn't expect to have that problem with him. If he did want to go away occasionally without me it would probably be fine. Recently he was supposed to be going to go out of town for his college homecoming, which was a boys' trip. I told him that, while I do enjoy spending time with him, I can understand him wanting to go on a "boy's trip" for the weekend, and that I didn't mind. I told him to go and have fun. Later he decided that he didn't want to go.

 

[Ramya]

I wish a man would tell me I couldn't spend the night with my girlfriends. That time is important to me. he will be OK.

 

[*Frisky*]

I think both people need to be on the same page about this or there will be issues as the relationship progresses. Somebody is going to have to be willing to change their position on this and I think it shows a possible insecurity problem to be so against the idea. Personally, I am all for it and so is my DH. I just went to Atlantic City a few weeks ago with some of my cousins and he is going to the Philly/Dallas game next week. Different strokes for different folks...

 

[Sade']

....Hm... depends on who the friends are.
Are they all single except for my DH?
Also depends on where they are going (topic of interest, etc). For me personally, just "going to see a place" might not be enough.

Either way, for anything longer than a couple of hours, the friends need to be of equitable moral character and preferably married.

^^I totally agree with this.

 

[Zaynab]

I wish dh would *mutters under breath*

I'm not in the habit of telling grown folks what to do and vice versa. If I'm away from home, it's a girls weekend/vacation or I've gone out of town to see my friends that live out of town--some are sorors dh doesn't know.

 

[Country gal]

I think both people need to be on the same page about this or there will be issues as the relationship progresses. Somebody is going to have to be willing to change their position on this and I think it shows a possible insecurity problem to be so against the idea. Personally, I am all for it and so is my DH. I just went to Atlantic City a few weeks ago with some of my cousins and he is going to the Philly/Dallas game next week. Different strokes for different folks...

I see no problem with these type of trips.

 

[jamerichameleon]

I don't see the problem with the occasional night away. It gives us a chance to miss each other. Now, I'm not saying spend weeks at a time away, but every once in a while taking a night away is fine, especially if you're parents and need some "me" time (i.e. going to a spa alone, etc). DH goes away for training sometimes and has gone on trips with his boys (most of whom are married, fwiw) and I've done a couple girls-only trips.