Who Pays For A Date? White Man Says, Go Dutch Or He's Bouncing

[Femmefatal1981]

Male ego is a fragile moldable thing. I'm fine with faking some things to lead to a beneficial outcome. Kinda on par when I tried out that whole plate fixing thing. That wasn't a genuine "I just luv fixin plates" gesture from me I was looking to see if there was any benefit to doing it. Appreciation was bestowed so now I fix plates in front of an audience so he feels all warm and fluffy in front of other dudes who don't get the same treatment. It's such a piddly gesture and takes a whole minute out of my life a few times a week.


It never happened to me but I don't know if it would be have been an immediate dismissal depending on how much he had been spending up until that time. I would have proceeded with a caution and a raised eyebrow though.

I'm all about free gestures, but I don't think my kind of guy would be impressed with me offering to pay. He'd be insulted...

 

[LaBelleLL]

But, but, but the guy in the video is British.
Why you hating on the 'mericans?

i've heard this from american men too

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I'm all about free gestures, but I don't think my kind of guy would be impressed with me offering to pay. He'd be insulted...

Impressed isn't the right word. It's an offshoot of that whole 'it ain't trickin if you got it' thing that dudes say to make themselves feel better. They know they are trickin off money, they just don't want to feel like that's what they are doing.

Sometimes outside influences be putting bugs in a dudes ear that may need reassuring on your end. Even the Alpha males fall prey to it.

 

[TayMac]

I don't agree with his take. If I want to treat someone to a meal, sure but paying my half? That's not a date. I took myself out.


I can't even with the comments.
It's not the 1950s, women wanted equal rights. You don't want to be a freeloader. A lot of women make more than men. Women are being food diggers blah blah blah

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I didn't watch the whole video. I just wanted to see what he looks like. So how long has he been married?

Now you know the answer to that. He's a single guy doling out info on how not to stay single.

 

[ForestRose]

Why is a man teaching women how to get men tho? Does he know something. Why is it always men that do this dating coach BS. Why do people even pay for this ****. If you're a women and struggling to meet men then you need to get into shape and create sex appeal. Once you've reeled him in then test him and show him what you have intelligence wise. That's all you need from the woman. The rest is whether the man is up to scratch or not.

It's really not that hard to attract a hot smart caring man. You just have to know where to look.

 

[pinkness27]

and if after 5 months dating, you do this and hmeboy accepts the offer, do you kick him out that night or what?

This is what I want answered!

So the girl in the video is me figuratively...I was dating someone for 5 months and he said he wasn't as sure we were as compatible as he thought bc I never offered to pay and it got harder to see himself with me long term bc of it. I wished him the best of luck and said we just weren't for each other.

I just don't see why after 4-5 months I have to start paying after you've been paying all this time. I guess my question is how does a guy bring this up without a girl getting offended? Bc I was offended enough to not want to continue dating him. His choice of words turned me off.

For the record, I offered to pay twice for my meal when I ate somewhere and he did not. He whipped out his card and paid anyways. I also offered to pay for this race I wanted us to do together, but he kept saying he would register on his own and never did.

He even asked a hypothetical of if we went out and he didn't have any money would I pay for him. I asked him why he would leave the house knowing he didn't have any money and he made it seem like I was a monster.

I wonder if it'll be awkward to start asking men on first dates how they feel about paying after 5 months of dating LOL.

 

[FelaShrine]

^sounds like he made up some stupid reason to leave. you offered twice, he denied it..so wtf is he talking about. Im sorry you wasted 5 months on childish nonsense

 

[nlamr2013]

He has a little brother. He's only 22, but they were raised by the same people... so he's a mature & generous gentleman lol.

22 you say.

 

[nlamr2013]

The title of this thread is misleading. I watched the video and he never said that. What he said was, he would feel taken advantage of and stop dating a woman who never offered to pay or contribute. He said a woman that didn't offer wasn't raised right and a man who didn't pay wasn't raised right either.

So basically, he's saying. make an effort to show your appreciation by offering to pay sometimes so the man will know that you're not just using him.

I don't intent to pay so why would I even offer. Especially with a dude I'm just dating

 

[lindseyerinc]

This type of thinking has become all the rage in the white community LOL. WW think it makes them powerful and equal and wm think paying for everything makes you a simp.

I just asked my boss this, her reply "I don't want to be indebted to anyone."

 

[vani]

The killer part is he says you should offer but the guy should still pay. Why?!

Exactly. That makes zero sense to me.

 

[JerriBlank]

I'm tired of this. Even when I went on dates with assholes, I can't remember a time when they even looked like they were waiting for me to pay. Come on. This is a game. I'm not entertaining this.

 

[kanozas]

Once you reach "couple" status, it's a natural progression for the woman to pay for things here and there.

 

[LizLeila]

The men I seem to attract HATE this I have a hard time conveying my interest (and they notice and say something), even when I'm interested, so Ive opted to offer to pay/half....an easy way for me to show interest, right? WRONG! this pisses them off even more than me not seeming interested I understand what's going on now, so I've since stopped doing it. Well, now I only offer to pay when I want to piss someone off (works every time lmao) or when I don't plan on seeing them again lol.

But im probably doing it wrong. "You don't think I'm interested? What do you want? Money? Here! Here is some money" naturally, someone would get mad at that

You gotta make them feel like a little pansy broke bih with it. Not all "ohh would you like to split it? *bats lashes, twirls hair*" nah. Come with the "here nicca, damn, do you need some money or something? Broke ass" aura. I bet they'd stop wanting that ish if that's how it normally went down

That's funny because I only offer to pay when I am NOT interested. The moment I pull out my cash, you are automatically in the Friendzone brotha.

 

[aquajoyice]

What kind of guy is going to nickel and dime his date? What happened to being a gentleman and wanting to take care of your woman? How can he compare sex on demand to a man paying the tab? How is that considered a double standard? He's a loser and is probably one of those guys that likes to sit and gossip with women.

He's using kang logic and these women are eating it up.

 

[Zaynab]

The question was who should pay after 4-5 months of dating ?

The man.

 

[lux10023]

so true, they're like "yeah sue, go to his house and bake a pie and stand on his porch"...lmaoooo

ummmmm lmaooo nah sis...

Let them follow his advice. I keep telling y'all wypipo love to give each other bad advice.

 

[Lucie]

so true, they're like "yeah sue, go to his house and bake a pie and stand on his porch"...lmaoooo

ummmmm lmaooo nah sis...

I was eating lunch at Mangia and there were only a few black women in there. When you eat upstairs you have to sit by the window if you are not getting table service. So a few of the women and I were seated at the same table. There was a table of white women directly behind us telling a woman to have sex with ex's brother as payback. We ALL almost choked as we ate and just stared at each other astonished. I started to laugh and the rest joined me. It actually became hilarious the more they talked.

The worst part is that the doofus agreed to the advice and they commenced on what outfit she should wear on the way to seducing him.

 

[lux10023]

i lurveeeeee mangiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lurveeeeeeee!!!!

i do the coconut frenchtoast for breakfast w/ the hazelnut sauce
lunch that smoked salmon sandwich, their rib eye, bolognese or steak/chicken quesadillas

deserts ive had them allll!!!

ok back on topic

i believe you!!!! i can not do girl talk with yt women because they give the weirdest most offbeat advice or input....
i was at work and this girl was talking about doing something for her bf's birthday...they told her to take a boudoir photoshoot with his dog, since he loves them both so much!!! i excused myself and acted like i had a call...

I was eating lunch at Mangia and there were only a few black women in there. When you eat upstairs you have to sit by the window if you are not getting table service. So a few of the women and I were seated at the same table. There was a table of white women directly behind us telling a woman to have sex with ex's brother as payback. We ALL almost choked as we ate and just stared at each other astonished. I started to laugh and the rest joined me. It actually became hilarious the more they talked.

The worst part is that the doofus agreed to the advice and they commenced on what outfit she should wear on the way to seducing him.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

i lurveeeeee mangiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lurveeeeeeee!!!!

i do the coconut frenchtoast for breakfast w/ the hazelnut sauce
lunch that smoked salmon sandwich, their rib eye, bolognese or steak/chicken quesadillas

deserts ive had them allll!!!

ok back on topic

i believe you!!!! i can not do girl talk with yt women because they give the weirdest most offbeat advice or input....
i was at work and this girl was talking about doing something for her bf's birthday...they told her to take a boudoir photoshoot with his dog, since he loves them both so much!!! i excused myself and acted like i had a call...

The dog!!!!!

 

[Lucie]

I love their penne a la vodka! I saw someone today get a pizza with avocado and shrimp. It looked so good, the guy offered to give me a slice. I must have been staring hard! I just started going to Mangia, and we have been in our new building since December. I have Roast next door to me as well and have not ever been in yet, LOL! That coconut French toast sounds divine! I've only been going for three weeks now. If you like plums, I am the one buying half a dozen in one fell swoop. I think they think I have a plum hoarding problem. Have you ever tried the natural juices out in the front? I am not sure if all Mangia's have the same set up though? I keep wanting to try, but don't want to commit to an entire cup if I don't like it. I've only had their brownie thus far. Geez, I need to try more stuff, LOL!

You had me until you mentioned the dog! Like what? What kind of stupid advice is that?! Every once in a while to be a Debbie Downer I tell them how dumb they sound whether I know them or not.

i lurveeeeee mangiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa lurveeeeeeee!!!!

i do the coconut frenchtoast for breakfast w/ the hazelnut sauce
lunch that smoked salmon sandwich, their rib eye, bolognese or steak/chicken quesadillas

deserts ive had them allll!!!

ok back on topic

i believe you!!!! i can not do girl talk with yt women because they give the weirdest most offbeat advice or input....
i was at work and this girl was talking about doing something for her bf's birthday...they told her to take a boudoir photoshoot with his dog, since he loves them both so much!!! i excused myself and acted like i had a call...

 

[aviddiva77]

Ok so what do y'all do when the check comes? Excuse yourself to the bathroom? Just stare at the dude? Serious questions.

 

[PJaye]

Ok so what do y'all do when the check comes? Excuse yourself to the bathroom? Just stare at the dude? Serious questions.

The same thing I do when the mail carrier delivers mail to my neighbor - nothing. It's not for me and none of my concern, so it doesn't receive any attention. I don't even look at it. Besides, a gentleman knows how to handle his business; it's automatic and requires no prompts. Plus, if he's been taking care of the check since date #1, why would he become confused about the procedure after 4 to 5 months of dating?

 

[LaBelleLL]

That's funny because I only offer to pay when I am NOT interested. The moment I pull out my cash, you are automatically in the Friendzone brotha.

I swear guys know this! They insist to pay to make it be known that this isn't a friendship situation.

 

[Ganjababy]

I used go out with this guy who would do similiar stuff. Because of it i used to invite my single and starving college student bf out with us regularly. Get her fed on his expense. Young n dumb

Then, bounce trick. Men ain't sh*t and they just keep on getting ain't sh*ttier.


ETA:
Smh.... I'm so glad I'm not single & that I found FH. He doesn't let me pay for anything! Last year, I threw him a surprise bday dinner at his favorite restaurant. I invited 10 people. He wouldn't let me pay for his bday dinner. In fact, he wouldn't let anyone pay. He footed the entire bill. Apparently, he's of a dying breed.

 

[Rastafarai]

I can't even with the comments.
It's not the 1950s, women wanted equal rights. You don't want to be a freeloader. A lot of women make more than men. Women are being food diggers blah blah blah

Now I see why many men are boys and why they think this ish is ever acceptable. Their fathers aren't the only ones to blame, but us women too, encouraging this BS.

 

[NijaG]

Now I see why many men are boys and why they think this ish is ever acceptable. Their fathers aren't the only ones to blame, but us women too, encouraging this BS.

100% agree.

Equal rights on a Macro social level has nothing to do with attraction, dating/courtship and marriage.

Eta...... Honestly, the whole "well women wanted equal rights"...... is being used in certain spheres and by many men to punish a woman (women). There is alot of passive-aggressive attitude going on.

Kinda how white people are acting towards blacks. Many now claiming to be the victims in larger society, while trying to directly and indirectly strip blacks of the social/political/economic gains we have made.

 

[niknakmac]

If I offered to pay for my meal when I was dating it was because I had no intention of ever seeing dude again and wanted absolutely nothing from him. I wish theses guys would learn how to be men.

 

[MD_Lady]

I didn't watch this video, but I'm familiar with this discussion... I can respect different strokes for different folks, but I think it's funny how "splitting" begins and ends with money (i.e. women paying for dates and splitting responsibility for bringing income into the home). I can't help but notice, however, that these same people (women AND men) aren't nearly as big of an advocate for splitting domestic obligations/responsibilities... hmmmmmmm...