What Can We Learn From Asian Women?

[yardyspice]

I know plenty of white men who would date a black woman. I truly believe woman who are asking these questions are just confused. Maybe you're ugly.. maybe that's why men don't give you the time of day. I've yet to meet a good looking black woman who has never been hit on by a man of another race.. especially a white man. I've seen busted a$$ women getting A LOT of play from white men so we must have some real quazimotos in this forum

Maybe dude doesn't like you cause your ugly.. stop making "being black" the scapegoat smh

.....................

 

[Orchid1992]

Oh...here we go. Is it the heat or what?

 

[fasika]

Well to be perfectly honest, Serena is definitely not built like a typical woman. She's definitely masculine-looking to me

I wish people would stop saying black women are big. We're not big. There are fat ones, but the average black woman in the world is slim!! The majority of black women in the world are just as slender as European women, if not smaller.

It's like when Caster Semenya was deemed masculine and South Africa's sports minister came out saying it was racist since she's built like a black woman. NO she's not!!
Really, we don't do ourselves any favors when we insist that the average black woman is built like a tank.

 

[TrueBeliever]

Don't tell me I fell for the okey-doke. Is that what this is about?

Pretty much. For some folks, pank waanngggg is the key to paradise.

 

[mychai]

I do not see why people are getting so touchy about this sentiment. African american women are on the whole more educated and economically advanced compared to other black women so of course they are seen as more aggressive and masculine by men due to insecurity. Compared to a women who works, makes her own money, does not need anything for a man, black women from other countries eg Africa or the Carribean/Latin america etc are seen as more docile as these women are not as economically empowered and are more likely to rely on and pander to men due to their economic circumstances.

What are you even talking about?

 

[Southernbella.]

Girrrrrrllllll it always is
Seriously, if people are so interested in finding out how they can change themselves to snag white men they are wasting valuable time being on a forum for and about black women's hair.

You're only one google search away from fulfilling your destiny! GO, BE FREE!

 

[FelaShrine]

Ok..... What other black women are as educated and financially well off as african american women?

dont know. dont care. I just dont see why this was even brought up. being offended by fasika's comment doesnt warrant the nonsense.

 

[Katherina]

I do not see why people are getting so touchy about this sentiment. African american women are on the whole more educated and economically advanced compared to other black women so of course they are seen as more aggressive and masculine by men due to insecurity. Compared to a women who works, makes her own money, does not need anything for a man, black women from other countries eg Africa or the Carribean/Latin america etc are seen as more docile as these women are not as economically empowered and are more likely to rely on and pander to men due to their economic circumstances.

Ok..... What other black women are as educated and financially well off as african american women?

What?! erplexed

 

[MaryJane3000]

There's just so many generalizations in this one post about black women and our sexuality. If a non-black person said this we'd be in an uproar. Although I am glad you said SOME, I think this can be applied towards women of all races.

^^I so agree with this.

I think that we as BW are wonderful in our own right, and don't really need to do TOO much as far as the way of "improving ourselves" imo. But , if there was one thing that I think that we as BW could take from AW, or just women of other races in general, it's the DROPPING of the attitude, and being more sweet/feminine in general towards all.

I think that in past years BW were more feminine and softer to some degree, but as the years have passed, the less and less I've seen this be the case. And I'm not just talking about attitude. I'm actually talking about dress, grooming, and even manner of behavior. Some women I see out here look, talk, and act like straight up dudes! erplexed It's almost as if the gender lines these days are becoming so blurred in our people especially.

Back then, we as BW used to have so much CLASS, dignity, taste, wonderful styles of dress and grooming, etc. And we weren't just spreading our legs for every Tom, Dick and Harry! Or, shall I say every Tyrone, Darnell, and Howard.

So yeah, if we could take one thing to learn from, it would be this imo.

I know when I show more of my "softer side", people (men especially) tend to LOVE it!


Look at how fabulous we were! I just think that women in GENERAL had a more softer and feminine quality back then that is severely lacking these days.

 

[LeatherandLace]

I don't know very many angry black women. However, I do know a lot of black women who walk around looking like we're locked and loaded and that kind of thing can be a turnoff. Not just in relationships, but at work, school, etc. I'm simply saying that we (whomever "we" applies to) could be more strategic about being sweet/pleasant/etc. on a day to day outside of our friends and family and people we like as opposed to the hardness some of us seem to carry around.

@southernbella You've been making alot of good points in this thread

I think the reason why you see alot of black women looking like that is because we tend to show every emotion we are feeling through our face and overall demeanor. When we are feeling sad it shows; angry it shows, happy it shows, etc. Whatever we are feeling at the moment comes through and since some(not all) black women have hectic and stressful lives the "locked and loaded" demeanor is what you'll mostly see. We really need to learn how to control our emotions when we are out in public and not let our true emotions show through our demeanor when the situation doesn't call for it. In other words like you said "be strategic."

 

[bosswitch]

Their success as a group of people has everything to do with them maintaining a cohesive community and being supportive of their children and their goals. Meanwhile, keeping up appearances when sh!t hits the fan Also, the asian women I know tend to be incredibly unapologetic about their standards for men and will uphold them and this forces the men to step it up. But we don't need to look to asian communities for that since there are many examples in our own community.

The only thing I can learn exclusively from an asian woman is how to make good spring rolls and sushi....

ETA: I'd say that the stereotypes is only true for new migrants or first gen migrants. The ones whose families have been here for a while lose that "feminine" asian aura

 

[loolalooh]

*injecting humor*

Other than much of what has been mentioned in this thread, perhaps we can learn some kegel exercises?

*humor ended*

 

[PinkPeony]

Oh really? So you think people continent to continent behave the exact same way? Oh please

I remember many, many german man growing up that wished for black/african women.
Going on talk shows bashing their own, traveling to meet their brides all bc we are supposedly more docile and better wives.

One of the hardest things for me since moving here are the different perceptions of me that I have to deal with it.
Instead of being soft people expect me to be hard, instead of being easygoing it is being difficult.
I more often then not positively surprise people but it is like somebody is constantly trying to press me against my will into a mold that doesn't fit, it's exhausting and frustrating and my heart goes out to all those aa women that had to deal with this all their life

 

[bosswitch]

*injecting humor*

Other than much of what has been mentioned in this thread, perhaps we can learn some kegel exercises?

*humor ended*

Nah...my cooch is good

 

[HoneyCurlz]

dont know. dont care. I just dont see why this was even brought up. being offended by fasika's comment doesnt warrant the nonsense.

Now THIS is funny. lol

 

[fasika]

PinkPeony, that's exactly what I meant. In other parts of the world, the stereotypes of black women are actually not the same.
As an Ethiopian woman, the stereotypes towards me, even from AA/Caribbean men, are very different than the stereotypes I see towards AA women. And it's not all roses either. Being put in a box sucks - it's hard to be yourself and be accepted as such, when you are being pushed to fit into a stereotype.

 

[TrueBeliever]

So it's ok to denigrate black American women?

 

[lesedi]

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[fasika]

So it's ok to denigrate black American women?

What? Is this directed at me? erplexed

 

[HoneyCurlz]

So it's ok to denigrate black American women?

No, it's wrong when Black American women defend themselves...I really feel that some people on this board are very insecure when it comes to AA women. Just as insecure as a Klansman member.

 

[FelaShrine]

Don't tell me I fell for the okey-doke. Is that what this is about?

I hope not but it just might be, who knows with this board after the mess on Sunday I wouldnt put it past anyone

 

[NapfroConsulate]

I'm sorry but this is a pathetic thread. I usually don't comment on these, I tend to just roll my eyes and go back to the Entertainment section but this is just ridiculous. Are we seriously trying to analyze why Asian women are better? You all may say this is not what its about but maybe I'm just too feeble minded to see how "deep" and "intellectual" this conversation is.

The school I go to is run amok with asians and when they are comfortable in their settings they are just as loud and ghetto as we are perceived to be (K-Town anyone?). We need to stop falling for this romanticized version of these people, see them as flawed human beings who are NOT better than us or anyone else for that matter. Truth is Black women are making progressive strides, albeit slower than what maybe some of us would want, but there are plenty of black women that I want to emulate and am inspired by than any asian woman I can think of.

WTF is it always boiling down to white men and what they prefer gatdammit!

 

[SurferBabe]

I know plenty of white men who would date a black woman. I truly believe woman who are asking these questions are just confused. Maybe you're ugly.. maybe that's why men don't give you the time of day. I've yet to meet a good looking black woman who has never been hit on by a man of another race.. especially a white man. I've seen busted a$$ women getting A LOT of play from white men so we must have some real quazimotos in this forum

Maybe dude doesn't like you cause your ugly.. stop making "being black" the scapegoat smh

ETA: not YOU you, but you the people who are really asking this question

I agree with this, but I think we are talking about two different things. White men being open to dating black women is very different from openly lusting after black women. Black women who draw the attention of white men do so because of their individual positive qualities (attractive, successful, etc...) whereas these other races of women can simply ride on the positive stereotypes all the way to the bank. Just like how an individual black person has to go above and beyond to prove their intelligence when Asians are automatically seen as such without having to prove a thing.

 

[bosswitch]

I hope not but it just might be, who knows with this board after the mess on Sunday I wouldnt put it past anyone

What happened on sunday? erplexed

 

[FelaShrine]

Well to be perfectly honest, Serena is definitely not built like a typical woman. She's definitely masculine-looking to me
.

Serena wasnt mentioned for the femininity argument. It was for the "curvy people lose weight to look like WW" gibberish.

 

[PinkPeony]

So it's ok to denigrate black American women?

Of course not. What is your definition of denigrating?

STOP THE MADNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What madness?

 

[TrueBeliever]

What? Is this directed at me? erplexed

No, it's anybody who's doing it. I'm tired of it frankly.

I'm not getting into a tit for tat with black ppl who are not American. It's stupid. There's a lot of it going on on this board and usually directly at black Americans. But you better not say what you think of them. Just like you have observed us, we observe you too and it's not always cute.

I'm not fat, loud or tacky and I do not see black American women acting like this when we travel.
Most of the people I see acting like this are poor, have never been anywhere and are not always black. Half the time, they're not even American.

On the topic at hand, I see little to emulate about Asian women. They're human like everyone else.

 

[Katherina]

No, it's wrong with Black American women defend themselves...I really feel that some people on this board are very insecure when it comes to AA women. Just as insecure as a Klansman member.

Oh please... This comment is unnecessarily dramatic.

 

[lesedi]

What madness?

If we need to do better, let's do it...but us trying to be 'better' to attract white males or to 'catch up' with Asian/white women....we are pathetic.

If the root of this discussion is 'how do we become good like them', then we need Jesus.

And exactly whose definition of 'better' are we using here????

 

[PinkPeony]

I agree with this, but I think we are talking about two different things. White men being open to dating black women is very different from openly lusting after black women. Black women who draw the attention of white men do so because of their individual positive qualities (attractive, successful, etc...) whereas theseother races of women can simply ride on the positive stereotypes all the way to the bank. Just like how an individual black person has to go above and beyond to prove their intelligence when Asians are automatically seen as such without having to prove a thing.

Exactly. It is not only that as a black women in america you don't have many positive stereotypes working for you, you almost actively have to fight against the common stereotypes