What Can We Learn From Asian Women?

loolalooh said:
I want to agree with your post so bad (and actually do agree with parts of it), but I have a question:

Why is it that when there is a party/gathering that both black and white women attend, the black women tend to be more dressed up (i.e., feminine) than the white women? I've been to a few events, where "we" will wear beautiful dresses, have our hair done nice, makeup done well, and wear heels ... while white women will walk in with "casual" wear, and even pants (i.e., masculine), and flat shoes (e.g., flip flops).

Maybe this has just been my experience, but when it comes to dressing feminine, I feel like "we" outdo our "white" counterparts.:perplexed
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Dressing feminine and being feminine are different things IMO.

We all know mean mugging, hard acting bw who keep standing appointments at the hair/nail shop and rock the latest outfits. Style of dress is only one aspect of embracing femininity.
 
There comes a point where we have to stop caring about this competition, and "model minority" foolishness. I think all this "winning" and competition is in our heads.

I most certainly don't believe in modeling my life after someone else's life based on my own so called "short comings" In fact I don't need to do anything but do me.
 
Exuding femininity has little to do with actual looks. In terms of looks, it's about knowing how to enhance what you have to exude class - i.e. styling your hair properly even if it's short, wearing well-fitting clothing even if they're cheap, etc. But more importantly, it's how you carry yourself. If you gesticulate wildly while you talk, if you talk or laugh very loudly, if you take big manly steps when out walking, if your curse out loud, etc, you'll come across as manly. If you notice women from cultures that ingrain femininity from childhood, you'll see the women are soft-spoken, their movements are measured and almost delicate, they move slower than American women who tend to be abrupt, they look regal without even trying. It's second nature since it's there from childhood.
They are feminine even while dressed in PJs. It's not the clothing, etc. That only enhances what's already there.
 
You all know that swagger Latino and Black males have in the hood...even whites? It's to survive. Think about animals that will attack children with developmental conditions. You present or get eaten. There is a definite reason it exists...and for people who deny their countries have ghettoes full of people with these types of attitudes, they are not telling the truth lol. That hard edge is for protection and you will find it everywhere.

Some of the hardness we see in the Black community (Native as well) is in comparison to being esteemed by society, being respected by their men (sorely lacking) and not having that leisurely lifestyle of privilege and ease that many Becky's have....but go to Becky's alter-ego....the trailer park. You ain't never seen HARD yet :lachen::lachen:


20Something


Yep!!! Because no matter if you were the goddess of the world, if society looks at you as worthless, that's how people are gonna see you. You can shuffle all you want to be seen as other, but it's largely in vain. People can improve...but they cannot fully escape the image (that doesn't belong factually to all).
 
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Crystalicequeen123 said:
It's something you EXUDE. Anyone can exude it no matter what race, no matter your build, whether you have short hair, long hair, big nose, small nose, etc. It has NOTHING to do with your outer shell honestly.
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Yaass! This is absolutely true. Size, shape, and hair have little to do with it, IMO. I don't think I've articulated it well, but I think this is the bottom line. What's in you can manifest outside in the form of what you wear and what comes out of your mouth, but it starts inside.:yep:

Now I have a theory but it would derail the thread completely. Well hell, I'll say it. I wonder if my dad not being there might have contributed to it for me. I look at my dd and the way my dh treats her and I realize I never had a man treat me that way when I was growing up. Makes me wonder.
 
FelaShrine said:
I dont think "small nose" and what not is what SB and Crsytal are referring to when we're discussing femininity.

Yall making excuses.
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Girl, you are messy. I was not referring to SB or Crystal (nor had I read either of their posts yet). :lol: I was merely answering the OP's question and presenting my view on the source of "femininity".

Now you got Crystal replying to my "nose" comment because she thinks I was referring to her.
 
fasika said:
And you've deduced that without ever leaving the US? Ok.

Believe it or not, people who have exposure to other parts of the world actually can tell the difference in mannerism between American women and those from other parts, regardless of color.
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Not this again. :perplexed
Tell that to someone who's never been anywhere.
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
It's something you EXUDE. Anyone can exude it no matter what race, no matter your build, whether you have short hair, long hair, big nose, small nose, etc. It has NOTHING to do with your outer shell honestly.
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Exactly. People just coming up with excuses. None of those women in the pictures you posted have "WP noses" or whatever
 
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it shouldnt have anything to do with race competition. your happiness should come from inner peace and tranquility as a human right. calm your mind. try some yoga, positive affirmations, soaking up the sun, good music, strolls while it's breezy, smile more, watch happier movies, look at babies, etc etc.
 
fasika said:
Exuding femininity has little to do with actual looks. In terms of looks, it's about knowing how to enhance what you have to exude class - i.e. styling your hair properly even if it's short, wearing well-fitting clothing even if they're cheap, etc. But more importantly, it's how you carry yourself. If you gesticulate wildly while you talk, if you talk or laugh very loudly, if you take big manly steps when out walking, if your curse out loud, etc, you'll come across as manly. If you notice women from cultures that ingrain femininity from childhood, you'll see the women are soft-spoken, their movements are measured and almost delicate, they move slower than American women who tend to be abrupt, they look regal without even trying. It's second nature since it's there from childhood.
They are feminine even while dressed in PJs. It's not the clothing, etc. That only enhances what's already there.
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I think Americans in general tend to carry themselves differently but I don't think for women this is a bad thing or it means that American women are "hard" or manly.

In many cases, American women are not only beautiful, well groomed and dressed but are very classy as well which all added together is sometimes the very thing that makes us stand out in a foreign enviroment too. :look:

You have women who are from lower income environments who are not very graceful...you also have teens and young girls who have not come into their own so they may not be as lady like as they will be as they grow older.
 
sunnydaze said:
Dressing feminine and being feminine are different things IMO.

We all know mean mugging, hard acting bw who keep standing appointments at the hair/nail shop and rock the latest outfits. Style of dress is only one aspect of embracing femininity.
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Yes. :yep: It doesn't really have anything to do with style of DRESS, but dressing in a more feminine manner DOES help.

Idk about other women, but I automatically feel and walk more "feminine" when I wear a pair of heels and a dress as opposed to a pair of flats,sneakers or pants. :look:


loolalooh said:
Girl, you are messy. I was not referring to SB or Crystal (nor had I read either of their posts yet). :lol: I was merely answering the OP's question and presenting my view on the source of "femininity".

Now you got Crystal replying to my "nose" comment because she thinks I was referring to her.
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No worries loolalooh.... Actually I was really replying to FelaShrine's comment. :look: She had referenced me in this quote:

I dont think "small nose" and what not is what SB and Crsytal are referring to when we're discussing femininity.

Yall making excuses.
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.....and I was confirming and agreeing with her that yes...that wasn't what I personally meant. I didn't have in mind the shape of people's noses at all. I honestly don't even think I saw your post before posting. :yep:
 
sunnydaze said:
Dressing feminine and being feminine are different things IMO.

We all know mean mugging, hard acting bw who keep standing appointments at the hair/nail shop and rock the latest outfits. Style of dress is only one aspect of embracing femininity.
Click to expand...

I agree with you. :yep:
 
HoneyCurlz said:
In many cases, American women are not only beautiful, well groomed and dressed but are very classy as well which all added together is sometimes the very thing that makes us stand out in a foreign enviroment too. :look:
.
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Err not really. Then again anyone would stand out in a Hawaiian shirt :look:
 
loolalooh said:
Asian women are beating Becky because white men think they are "exotic" and "docile". Being "exotic" is not something we can "learn". Being "docile"? Well, that is just the white man's opinion (possibly based on the portrayal of Asian women in media) and is not necessarily a fact about Asian women.

I personally think we get the title of "unfeminine" because universal femininity is, unfortunately, based on "white" standards. Long hair = feminine. Soft faces (e.g., no cheekbones) = feminine. Small noses = feminine. Slender = feminine. When using "white" standards, our short/medium length hair, cheekbones, round or big noses, and thick booties/legs are not quite considered feminine.

P.S. I do realize that some black women, especially on LHCF, have broken hair length barriers, btw. :) Had to mention that.
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I think this is true to an extent.
I remember reading one guy that said he thought African women were more feminine than American women but he still didn't like them because he found them unattractive.

While demeanor is one thing, how you look play a lot into some people's perceptions of character. It's shallow but true.
 
The more I think about this- I really think this is a ridiculous supposition/question OP (Not the thread itself but the proposition) this is why:
1. We are comparing apples and pears - you cannot expect the children of slaves who have been denigrated by a society that kept them enslaved and actively discouraged the formation of the strong bonds they needed to be anchored into society with what are in effect either recent economic migrants or the first generation children of those economic migrants. In many cases these migrants are of a different class to the negatively stereotyped black women that I assume this thread is discussing and have had more positive reinforcement and protection from their respective socities, families and the males in their lives eg asians are notorious for having a strong patriarchal society where women are protected by men.

2. Blk woman HAVE to be strong in this country because for many years they have been at the bottom of the social and economic rung and have effectively been left to be both mother and father to their children starting from slavery to today- this very strength is what has allowed them to prosper, we have not had the luxury of playing coy and docile because there was simply no white knight to save us. Without the strength of blk women our society and this country would be in a much worse place.

3. I believe that we need to change our own perceptions of our beauty, strength and demeanor before we can expect outsiders/society to see our own beauty or even the beauty in our strength. If blk women loved ourselves more instead of trying to assimilate and pander to what society decries as beautiful, soon the world would see it. Instead we are too busy trying to copy their straight hair, loose our curves so we can fit their ideal, lighten our skin or avoid the sun so we can look closer to them - emphasise what is close to them so we can appear more exotic etc. When we as blk women recognize our own value we will stop putting up with men that do not. Yes the men play a part too but many times its also the mothers decrying how unattractive dark skin is, chasing men who will produce good hair babies etc.

4. I agree with the poster that said the stereotype is mostly African american blk women - on the whole african women/brazilian women etc are not viewed as aggressive. In my own country I have seen YT men leave their wives/families/societies for african women multiple times or say that they prefer african women to their own - why? because they view them as more pleasant, docile, less aggressive than their own. This is imo more to be with education and societal response to the growing emancipation of the modern women than anything specific to african american women. Eg an african woman in the scenario i described is happy to cook and clean and not question her man, especially as she is wholly dependent on him economically. I think this is more to do with the fact that african american women on the whole are more educated and independent than other black women so of course they will be seen as more threatening and aggressive to men.
 
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We all know some folks have an agenda when it comes to African Americans. Superiority complexes aren't any more attractive than bad attitudes, but whatever. This could be a good thread; hopefully it doesn't get derailed by some folks' silly need to one-up.:nono:
 
Here's a quarter. buy a sense of humor.

3. I believe that we need to change our own perceptions of our beauty, strength and demeanor before we can accept outsiders/society to see our own beauty or even the beauty in our strength. If blk women loved ourselves more instead of trying to assimilate and pander to what society decries as beautiful, soon the world would see it. Instead we are too busy trying to copy their straight hair, loose our curves so we can fit their ideal, lighten our skin or avoid the sun so we can look closer to them - emphasise what is close to them so we can appear more exotic etc.
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Are you implying that losing weight especially in the BC with all our health problems is a negative because some ignorant people see it as "losing curves on purpose..so those who arent born with these magical black curves, are what? not really black?
 
I think we're getting off track. Asian women are not more physically attractive than black women. I'm not trying to be mean, but the ones I see aren't pretty or dressed particularly well. I don't think this is necessarily about beauty standards.

Look at Zuckerberg's wife in ET. She's very average looking.
 
I may catch hell for this, but I don't need/want to learn anything from someone who is submissive and doesn't have a backbone. Most Asian women seems to be content with this, whereas other women are not.

I just think women in general need to be more assertive and take-charge. But ALSO reasonable. And, for Christ sake, stop SETTLING when it comes to your romantic life!

One last thing, any man who wants a "docile" woman, is a weak man himself. And who in here wants a weak man?
 
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Wow... this thread is pathetic.

21bix38_thjpg.gif
 
I don't find Asian women pretty at all, barring a few exceptions here and there. Black women are much better looking on average IMO. But the demeanor of Asian women helps them a lot in the attractiveness department.
Zuckerberg's wife is, quite frankly, ugly.
 
RedVelvet310 said:
Wow... this thread is pathetic.

21bix38_thjpg.gif
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My thoughts too. I know everyone has their own experiences but I feel like the whole black women are aggressive thing is a stereotype we as a people have bought into when I have not met as many angry black women as I have nice, kind, and sweet women. I feel like the angry women get more attention and thus stick out more.
 
Asian women benenfit from a collective stereotype that lends itself to positive points. That cant quite be "learned".
 
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