What Can We Learn From Asian Women?

[fasika]

It was going alright until one poster felt the need to play her tired "non-American blacks are superior" card.

You read that because of your own insecurity.

I made my point perfectly clear:
1. Americans as a whole, black or white, are seen as less feminine than women from other parts, black Americans even more so
2. Not all black people have the same experience
3. Femininity is something taught/learned and is about attitude and not looks

Anyone who disagrees with these points is free to do so, but jumping to conclusions is just absurd and is more about your own issues than what I said. I don't know why some posters take offense to being told that all black people are not the same and don't have the same experience. I guess that messes with the belief that white people don't see a difference among people of color. Well, they do.

 

[kismettt]

why do we need to tear down other women for any reason?

so ignorant and offensive.

jfc.

 

[abcd09]

I also wanted to add that some people may have "hard faces" because they are thinking.

On the other hand, some people will go out of their way to see you be mad or get you to roll your eyes so they can label you as an ABL. They'll make political or social comments and then stare at you waiting for it. If you don't buy into it, you are sweet and fun loving, if you do you want to start fights and are too opinionated and fussy.

 

[Southernbella.]

It's so sad. I've never seen individuals who are as anti-AA besides the Klan perhaps. How did this subject even turn to an American bash?

Agenda. Plain and simple. It's pathetic.

 

[RedVelvet310]

It was going alright until one poster felt the need to play her tired "non-American blacks are superior" card.

Are you kidding? ... ignore the ignorance

My thoughts too. I know everyone has their own experiences but I feel like the whole black women are aggressive thing is a stereotype we as a people have bought into when I have not met as many angry black women as I have nice, kind, and sweet women. I feel like the angry women get more attention and thus stick out more.

Thank you!

------

If you guys cannot think of at least ONE example of a BLACK PERSON succeeding in life, you really need to open your circle because there is obviously something that is lacking within YOU that makes it so that success is not attracted to you. Don't bring your personal experiences and blanket this entire black race .

What are SUCCESSFUL African Americans/Nigerians/Ghanians/Jamaicans doing differently so we can learn from them. What are black women who have quality men breaking down their doors doing. THIS applies to US. You have a black president for Christ's sake, let black people be great. Or does making threads like this make you feel better about your inadequacies. Maybe your "not winning" in life is your fault and has nothing to do with you being black

 

[FelaShrine]

Personally I just like making fun of Americans in general as tourists. If you're yelling "Do you speak English" at someone who is speaking French to you..of course you'll stand out

You read that because of your own insecurity.

I made my point perfectly clear:
1. Americans as a whole, black or white, are seen as less feminine than women from other parts, black Americans even more so

I get your point but #1 was just unnecessary to mention IMO. thus the defensiveness and alladat.

Your comment created a divide that wasnt needed for the topic at hand.

I dont know why it was mentioned that we are seen as "unfeminine" because of our natural looks..that just turned the thread into another woe is me BS IMO.

 

[Naveah2050]

Here's a quarter. buy a sense of humor.



Are you implying that losing weight especially in the BC with all our health problems is a negative because some ignorant people see it as "losing curves on purpose..so those who arent born with these magical black curves, are what? not really black?

Unless you are one of those "am thick" when you are obese types, am not sure where in my statement you got that from? Even at the same size, most black women are denser than ww especially in the thighs and booty area. Thanks for the quarter though....every little helps. Perhaps you should stop hollering, I wasnt trying to hit you.

 

[yardyspice]

Maybe Asian women should learn something FROM black women then they wouldn't get they a$$ beat as often and have higher suicide rates than black women. I have the stats but I am too lazy.

 

[sunnydaze]

it shouldnt have anything to do with race competition. your happiness should come from inner peace and tranquility as a human right. calm your mind. try some yoga, positive affirmations, soaking up the sun, good music, strolls while it's breezy, smile more, watch happier movies, look at babies, etc etc.

You are right, alot of it comes back to inner peace. Many of us have enormous amounts of stress in our lives and do nothing to manage it, outside of being mad at the world. We need to find ways to channel that negative energy into positive space.

I know for me, working out is my second religion. I am a single mom with a demanding job, and a somewhat stressful relationship with my ex-husband. One of the only ways I know to manage the stress in my life w/ is to do a "I am completely soaked with sweat" work out.., 5/6 days a week. After which, I take a shower and them I am in a good mindset for the rest of the day.

Not everyone is going to do that, but I think we all need to do something to manage stress and be happier overall.

 

[fasika]

Personally I just like making fun of Americans in general as tourists. If you're yelling "Do you speak English" at someone who is speaking French to you..of course you'll stand out


I get your point but #1 was just unnecessary to mention IMO. thus the defensiveness and alladat.

Your comment created a divide that wasnt needed for the topic at hand.

I dont know why it was mentioned that we are seen as "unfeminine" because of our natural looks..that just turned the thread into another woe is me BS IMO.

Well I mentioned it because we were talking about Asian women. Men are going all the way to Asia to get the women due to the "positive" stereotype that's given to them, so that's why I mentioned that the stereotype is on all American women, not just black women. I mean, the OP said that the Asians are "beating white women at their own game" so that why I said it applies to white women too.

 

[FelaShrine]

Unless you are one of those "am thick" when you are obese types, am not sure where in my statement you got that from? Even at the same size, most black women are denser than ww especially in the thighs and booty area. Thanks for the quarter though....every little helps. Perhaps you should stop hollering, I wasnt trying to hit you.

Quarter wasnt meant for you. I quoted you AFTER that comment for a reason

 

[Southernbella.]

My thoughts too. I know everyone has their own experiences but I feel like the whole black women are aggressive thing is a stereotype we as a people have bought into when I have not met as many angry black women as I have nice, kind, and sweet women. I feel like the angry women get more attention and thus stick out more.

I don't know very many angry black women. However, I do know a lot of black women who walk around looking like we're locked and loaded and that kind of thing can be a turnoff. Not just in relationships, but at work, school, etc. I'm simply saying that we (whomever "we" applies to) could be more strategic about being sweet/pleasant/etc. on a day to day outside of our friends and family and people we like as opposed to the hardness some of us seem to carry around.

 

[lesedi]

There are some things that we as a people need to work on but getting mentored by Asian women??......NEGATIVE.

 

[Orchid1992]

Why are members tearing down Asian women? Why do some feel we need to take note from Asian women?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????????????

 

[FelaShrine]

Well I mentioned it because we were talking about Asian women. Men are going all the way to Asia to get the women due to the "positive" stereotype that's given to them, so that's why I mentioned that the stereotype is on all American women, not just black women. I mean, the OP said that the Asians are "beating white women at their own game" so that why I said it applies to white women too.

It's a black forum(for the most part..) so of course she's gonna tailor it for BW. Obviously WW are included overall since they dudes are going for Asian now

 

[lesedi]

Why are members tearing down Asian women? Why do some feel we need to take note from Asian women?

WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY????????????

I can only speak for myself but I'm not tearing them down. I just think trying to create the prototype for the good black woman based off Asian women is hella sad.

 

[Naveah2050]

Quarter wasnt meant for you. I quoted you AFTER that comment for a reason

I never turn down money! I dont really get your comment either, but all I am trying to say is that we as blk women ar generally fine as we are until we see it, no one else will eg with our hair, body types whatever they may be (if curvy we shouldnt be pressured to loose weight, if thin and ruler type, we shouldnt be pressured to inflate our bosoms and posteriors because it is what society demands). I wasnt referring to obesity as such, am not even sure if i believe those stats cos i see chunky everywhere i go in this country, in all shades.

 

[Naveah2050]

You read that because of your own insecurity.

I made my point perfectly clear:
1. Americans as a whole, black or white, are seen as less feminine than women from other parts, black Americans even more so
2. Not all black people have the same experience
3. Femininity is something taught/learned and is about attitude and not looks

Anyone who disagrees with these points is free to do so, but jumping to conclusions is just absurd and is more about your own issues than what I said. I don't know why some posters take offense to being told that all black people are not the same and don't have the same experience. I guess that messes with the belief that white people don't see a difference among people of color. Well, they do.

I do not see why people are getting so touchy about this sentiment. African american women are on the whole more educated and economically advanced compared to other black women so of course they are seen as more aggressive and masculine by men due to insecurity. Compared to a women who works, makes her own money, does not need anything for a man, black women from other countries eg Africa or the Carribean/Latin america etc are seen as more docile as these women are not as economically empowered and are more likely to rely on and pander to men due to their economic circumstances.

 

[FelaShrine]

I never turn down money! I dont really get your comment either, but all I am trying to say is that we as blk women ar generally fine as we are until we see it, no one else will eg with our hair, body types whatever they may be (if curvy we shouldnt be pressured to loose weight, if thin and ruler type, we shouldnt be pressured to inflate our bosoms and posteriors because it is what society demands). I wasnt referring to obesity as such, am not even sure if i believe those stats cos i see chunky everywhere i go in this country, in all shades.

People loose weight cos they're fat,m not cos they're curvy

There's not an ounce of fat on Serena Williams. Keep that in mind. last I checked she's way more curvy than the so called curvy who are really fat but hiding behind curvy or thick title

I get the rest of your point though. No one is saying we should change hair/build/skintone etc..I think people are saying we could benefit on being more feminine or should I say how we USED to be.

and for those saying they are weak..according to stats they are #1 on most likely to report discrimination whereas you have people eating at resturants where the owners are literally saying you're inferior and I also remember when a memeber here mentioned how she was harrassed in broad daylights by an officer and people agreed with her NOT TO REPORT THIS DUDE. How's is that not being weak..putting on mean faces doesnt mean diddly squat

 

[Orchid1992]

I can only speak for myself but I'm not tearing them down. I just think trying to create the prototype for the good black woman based off Asian women is hella sad.

My comment wasn't aimed at you and I agree with what's in bold. My comment was aimed at the people saying most Asian women are ugly and the average Black woman looks better.

We discuss how poorly some men treat women and the importance of inner beauty a lot on this board, so I find it sad when we judge each other's physical appearance (something that cannot be changed without surgery) like that.

 

[FelaShrine]

I do not see why people are getting so touchy about this sentiment. African american women are on the whole more educated and economically advanced compared to other black women.

Please dont play yourself.

 

[SurferBabe]

If you guys cannot think of at least ONE example of a BLACK PERSON succeeding in life, you really need to open your circle because there is obviously something that is lacking within YOU that makes it so that success is not attracted to you. Don't bring your personal experiences and blanket this entire black race .

What are SUCCESSFUL African Americans/Nigerians/Ghanians/Jamaicans doing differently so we can learn from them. What are black women who have quality men breaking down their doors doing. THIS applies to US. You have a black president for Christ's sake, let black people be great. Or does making threads like this make you feel better about your inadequacies. Maybe your "not winning" in life is your fault and has nothing to do with you being black

But see, discussions about Asian women rarely have anything to do with their actual success as a group of people. If that were the case, we'd be trying to emulate other black groups who have been able to achieve success against all odds. The real question is "What are Asian women doing that gets them the attention of white men?" I'm starting to see this trend more on this board and it is getting pretty tiring.

This inferiority complex stems from the fact that it does seem like every other race of women has been able to fall into the good graces of white men. White men do openly lust after Asian, Hispanic, even Middle Eastern (those from more liberal nations), etc... women aside form their own white women. Why is this such a big deal? It has nothing to do with the desirability of black women and has everything to do with how black culture is perceived. The women are just victims of it. Understandably, white men control the universe and being desirable to them as a group opens up opportunities, but I'd rather see my black people work to create these opportunities for ourselves. White men ain't all that special.

 

[RedVelvet310]

But see, discussions about Asian women rarely have anything to do with their actual success as a group of people. If that were the case, we'd be trying to emulate other black groups who have been able to achieve success against all odds. The real question is "What are Asian women doing that gets them the attention of white men?" I'm starting to see this trend more on this board and it is getting pretty tiring.

This inferiority complex stems from the fact that it does seem like every other race of women has been able to fall into the good graces of white men. White men do openly lust after Asian, Hispanic, even Middle Eastern (those from more liberal nations), etc... women aside form their own white women. Why is this such a big deal? It has nothing to do with the desirability of black women and has everything to do with how black culture is perceived. The women are just victims of it. Understandably, white men control the universe and being desirable to them as a group opens up opportunities, but I'd rather see my black people work to create these opportunities for ourselves. White men ain't all that special.

I know plenty of white men who would date a black woman. I truly believe woman who are asking these questions are just confused. Maybe you're ugly.. maybe that's why men don't give you the time of day. I've yet to meet a good looking black woman who has never been hit on by a man of another race.. especially a white man. I've seen busted a$$ women getting A LOT of play from white men so we must have some real quazimotos in this forum

Maybe dude doesn't like you cause your ugly.. stop making "being black" the scapegoat smh

ETA: not YOU you, but you the people who are really asking this question

 

[MzLady78]

Not a thing.

Honestly, there is not a single trait or behavior that I've seen mentioned that I can't find numerous BW who possess them, what I need to learn from an Asian woman for?

 

[bosswitch]

But see, discussions about Asian women rarely have anything to do with their actual success as a group of people. If that were the case, we'd be trying to emulate other black groups who have been able to achieve success against all odds. The real question is "What are Asian women doing that gets them the attention of white men?" I'm starting to see this trend more on this board and it is getting pretty tiring.

This inferiority complex stems from the fact that it does seem like every other race of women has been able to fall into the good graces of white men. White men do openly lust after Asian, Hispanic, even Middle Eastern (those from more liberal nations), etc... women aside form their own white women. Why is this such a big deal? It has nothing to do with the desirability of black women and has everything to do with how black culture is perceived. The women are just victims of it. Understandably, white men control the universe and being desirable to them as a group opens up opportunities, but I'd rather see my black people work to create these opportunities for ourselves. White men ain't all that special.

E.X.A.C.T.L.Y. Pank peen is a hell of a drug

 

[Naveah2050]

People loose weight cos they're fat,m not cos they're curvy

There's not an ounce of fat on Serena Williams. Keep that in mind. last I checked she's way more curvy than the so called curvy who are really fat but hiding behind curvy or thick title

I get the rest of your point though. No one is saying we should change hair/build/skintone etc..I think people are saying we could benefit on being more feminine or should I say how we USED to be.

and for those saying they are weak..according to stats they are #1 on most likely to report discrimination whereas you have people eating at resturants where the owners are literally saying you're inferior and I also remember when a memeber here mentioned how she was harrassed in broad daylights by an officer and people agreed with her NOT TO REPORT THIS DUDE. How's is that not being weak..putting on mean faces doesnt mean diddly squat

Ok gotcha...I think we are on the same track here, my whole point is that to most non blk people Serena is seen as being fat/over masculine especially in comparison to the other slimmer girls in tennis, do you remember the furore that was caused when they ruled the game anda people said it was unfair for them to play with the other girls as they were much bigger than them?

But are we really unfeminine? I think we are probably hyper feminized eh hair did/nails did all the time, and when was this hypothetical back in the day uber feminization of black women meant to have occured??

 

[Southernbella.]

The real question is "What are Asian women doing that gets them the attention of white men?" I'm starting to see this trend more on this board and it is getting pretty tiring.

Don't tell me I fell for the okey-doke. Is that what this is about?

 

[Naveah2050]

Please dont play yourself.

Ok..... What other black women are as educated and financially well off as african american women?

 

[Southernbella.]

My comment wasn't aimed at you and I agree with what's in bold. My comment was aimed at the people saying most Asian women are ugly and the average Black woman looks better.

Not sure if you're referring to me or not, but I didn't say most Asian women are ugly. I said I don't think Asian women are more attractive than black women, and that most of the ones I see aren't pretty and don't dress all that well. This is just my experience and opinion, and beauty is in the eye of the beholder so they may be beautiful by other standards. Just not mine.

 

[lesedi]

Don't tell me I fell for the okey-doke. Is that what this is about?

Girrrrrrllllll it always is
Seriously, if people are so interested in finding out how they can change themselves to snag white men they are wasting valuable time being on a forum for and about black women's hair.

You're only one google search away from fulfilling your destiny! GO, BE FREE!