Spinny: White guys that perfer the Black ladies

[cheetarah1980]

I don't feel like going back and quoting the earlier post about the majority of black men "fawning over white women" and the statistics to prove it.

I will say that while more black men date/marry outside the race than black women, the absolute number of black men doing it is still relatively small. 92% of married black men are married to black women. That means less than 1 in 10 black men are "rejecting" us (if you look at it that way). I get really tired of hearing about how black men have abandoned us and we need to date outside our race to make it even or whatever.

As for the topic at hand. Personally, I'm not comfortable dating white men who ONLY date black women. It's not that I have an issue with them finding black women attractive, it just seems odd to me to date one at the exclusion of another. Personally, I'm not into white men who like me because I'm black. I prefer for them to just think I'm a beautiful woman (with my black features being a part of it) who they find interesting. Mostly, because that's the way I look at them (well not the beautiful woman part).

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I will say that while more black men date/marry outside the race than black women, the absolute number of black men doing it is still relatively small. 92% of married black men are married to black women. That means less than 1 in 10 black men are "rejecting" us (if you look at it that way). I get really tired of hearing about how black men have abandoned us and we need to date outside our race to make it even or whatever.
.

There is a flaw in the math behind your arguement. If anywhere near 100% of black men were married then saying 92% of them marrying black women would be pretty significant. Since only 40% of black men are married (vs 42% of black women), you are dealing with 92% of less than half the black male population.

Only 40 in 100 black men (40%) are statistically likely to marry, then losing 3-4 (8-10%) of that pool to IR marriage just makes a bad situation worse for black women who want a black husband.

Point being that the numbers are bleak and in order to address a problem, you first have to acknowledge that there is one.

 

[ebonylocs]

There is a flaw in the math behind your arguement. If anywhere near 100% of black men were married then saying 92% of them marrying black women would be pretty significant. Since only 40% of black men are married (vs 42% of black women), you are dealing with 92% of less than half the black male population.

Only 40 in 100 black men (40%) are statistically likely to marry, then losing 3-4 (8-10%) of that pool to IR marriage just makes a bad situation worse for black women who want a black husband.

Point being that the numbers are bleak and in order to address a problem, you first have to acknowledge that there is one.

I don't think there is a flaw in her math. The math is fine, she just didn't extrapolate to the bigger picture. I think you two are simply focusing on different issues. She is addressing the question of whether BM are "abandoning" BW in favour of other women. While you are focusing on whether a BW who wants to marry a BM has a high likelihood of getting a black husband.

 

[Bun Mistress]

Ok, So I started the thread and I hope this doesn't finish it because the opinions on here are great. Anyway. I want to say thank you for the responses so far.

I think that alot of people have brougth up some good points about this topic. I do think that is is important to know "the why" behind a preference but just like the perferences that you have for a certain movies, your favorite color, or the friends you perfer (I don't meanjust their company but we all have a certain type of person, not just looks that we see ourselves being friends with, anyhow I don't want to start an arguement on this one).

And to be honest, men, being much more visual creatures than women would naturally have a visual preference as well. I'm starting to think that this idea of nonWM like BW is a good thing. Maybe it shows that people aren't being so small minded anymore and wanting to keep everything the way it is, sorry if that seems far fetched to some but i live in the South and sometimes it really feels like the South here if you get my drift.

I started this thread when guy that I had been talking to asked me out. I was a little taken back (don't know why really, I have dated outside of my race, often) but then he asked me if I would seriously date a WM. I responded yes, and then asked the obvious next question, would you seriously date a BW.

His reply is what started this thread. "Yes, I'm more attracted to BW." This followed by telling me his ex wife was a BW (he is devorced, 3 years).

In all my years of dating outsideof my race I kinda had this feeling that the nonBM weren't that serious about the relationship. Which made me notserious either. This of course was in the my early twenties when I was just dating , not really looking for something other than a boyfriend.

I'm writing all of this to say that: I guess I had a perference up until now. I wanted every BM I dated to be my next hubby (and quite immaturely acted as such) and any one else I was just along for the ride. This has not worked out for me. And all this time I thought I was completely unbias.

Thanks peeps on in this thread for all of your points (wherther they agree with mine or not). It has really made my think about my current views of my relationships with people, men, and evens friends of the opposite sex. It has also changed my out look for the future.

 

[myronnie]

I'm currently in a relationship with a white guy that prefers dating black women but has not exclusively dated black women. My last boyfriend was an asian guy that I went to highschool with 6 years ago that also prefered to date black women but has not exclusively dated black women. The asian guy was just really attracted to black women. He's never felt accepted in the asian circles even though he speaks Japanese and was born in Japan. As a child he was constantly made fun of for being Asian by kids..he lived in the ghetto for a long time.

My boyfriend and I met at work while he was in a relationship with his ex (a black female). I asked him why he was attracted to black women and he told me that they aren't whiny and don't make their issues other people's issues. I guess he meant that we are independent and don't force him to baby us..

By the way, in the years after I've graduated high school I've been hit on by non-black guys the moajority of the time. I have no idea why this is..
Comparing my past relationships, my current relationship with the white guy has been the best. The asian guy had a lot of issues...even though he was pretty cute
I think I have started dating alot of non-black men since I've gotten older because I think alot of black men cheat...

 

[CurlyMoo]

Well, if you want to hear my theory, here it go:

I really enjoy "cultural" events such as the opera, symphony, ballet, plays, etc. basically any of the performing arts. I find (just MY experiences) that BM tend to be less "accepting" of those types of unfamiliar things. Some of the ones I've met have vehemently refused to go to anything "like that" or some just simply aren't interested enough in it or me to concede to going. Most BM have not been exposed to cultural things and therefore aren't as receptive to something they may consider to be a "white" thing. It also entails "dressing up", which I love, but is not something BM (in general) necessarily enjoy doing (that's men period), but I believe in this country more WM have to opportunity to "dress up" than BM. Disclaimer: Of course, there are exceptions and that last statement was a generalization.

Therefore, being those things are "associated" with the white "culture", if you want to go, you almost have to find a WM to go with. I think that some of them, or at least the ones I'd be interested in, have been exposed to some form of performing arts AND also know that they WILL be expected to go whether they want to or not, LOL. So, it's easier to "convince" them to go because they have been exposed to it and they DO know that if YOU love the performing arts, they WILL be going. They could also love it just as much as you do too, so that's also something else to consider.

That being said, I actually went to the symphony with my ex and he's black, BUT he'd been exposed to it by his sister, so he was cool. But he definitely IS the exception, not the rule.

In short, it's all about exposure and open-mindedness and I find that sometimes some BM are short on both. That's just my

Hmmm, for me it's the opposite, I actually always seem to attract Black men who enjoy art openings, black tie events, concerts, etc.; like magnets. I tend to view Black men who don't appreciate those things as the sports guy; and then there is the type that just works. It varies, I've met all types, it's been interesting for sure.

 

[CurlyMoo]

"Side eyes", "neck rolls" and "eye rolls". Oh my. Interesting use of stereotypes.

And yet many LHCF posters have claimed in their own words to have done exactly that. You claimed it as a stereotype not me; because I've certainly seen people of other races do the same. We aren't about to start acting like some Black women don't do these things too.

 

[comatose]

What does the bolded mean?

Men are not approaching women because of their personalities. That only leaves something physical on a womans person that is drawing them in. Any man with a thimble full of sense isn't going to say "Hi, I want to get to know your breasts/behind/whatever better." So the ones with some sense do the niceties until they are given access to knowing your breast/behind/whatever better.

All that said, what's the difference between the man who is drawn to your double D's vs the man drawn to your skin tone?

BTW - I understand distrust. We as women do have to be careful with the goodies. Problem is that if attraction to brown-ish/esque skin is easily thrown in the fetish category, then we are complicit in underminding and second guessing the beauty of our skin/features.

In other words, if the sight of a brown woman gives a non black man pause for sexual attraction then it must be because of some dirty fetish instead of nature taking it's course. That does not put black women in a good light.

While I am not on team save a wigger or any other such nonsense. I do think that male attraction is very simple.

Definitely not undermining our beauty, and I understand there must be an attraction before a man approaches. I just rather it not be based on my color. Some people don't want men dating them for their cakes, I want a man to look at me beyond my color. Some people on the board balk at black men rejecting black women to date out, why not the other way around? In college, I was friends with a white dude that was on a mission to have sex with a black girl (why? just so he can say he hit it), I wanna avoid people like him. I appreciate it more when a man dates a variety, including his race and happens to date me. I am at more at ease (guessing) he doesn't have self hate, obsession issues etc.

 

[Lenee925]

I have White guys approach me way more than my chocolate men. I get more compliments on my hair in its natural state from white guys; black men not so much. One even went so far as to tell me to "don't straighten your hair, I love it the way it is" erplexed

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

I have White guys approach me way more than my chocolate men. I get more compliments on my hair in its natural state from white guys; black men not so much. One even went so far as to tell me to "don't straighten your hair, I love it the way it is" erplexed

.......and there's something wrong with this?????

 

[RossBoss]

.......and there's something wrong with this?????

I think she is implying that it was a shame that the comment came from a non-Black guy instead of a Black guy who more than likely shares the same texture as she does.

 

[Solila]

WM like to chase me sometimes...literally. LOL I've almost been run over by bikes and scooters on the sidewalk!!
Once, during my lunch break, as I walked in to a deli to get food, this white guy almost took off my foot with this scooter bike. He apologized and I went in to get my food. As I'm walking back to my office (food in hand), here he comes again nearly running me over. For a second time he apologizes and then proceeds to ask me out. LMAO

 

[meesch]

I don't date any one race of men, and I am wary of men who do. As a matter of fact, one of the first white men I dated accidentally let it slip that he basically goes for black women because he can't score a universally ideal blonde trophy white woman. (That was obviously the end of that experience.)

I think that I would be ok with a guy who PREFERRED black women, but not one who dated them exclusively.