Spinny: White guys that perfer the Black ladies

CarmelCupcake said:
So what about the rest of you ladies...do you often get approached by white men? If so, where?
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Strange you should ask, I don't get approached by WM. I will be a compliment, smile, conversation, flirtin, ect but rarely does that lead anywhere. I don't know why? Maybe is as was said before, WW are a little more aggressive and they make it known they are interested while I want to be persued.
I'm talking to a really nice WM now and at first he didn't call and I kinda felt like he was waiting on a nug. I gave him one and now he texts and calls at appropriate times and asked days in advance (like your supposed to). I think the difference of the aggressor is a cultural thing as well.
 
Bun Mistress said:
Strange you should ask, I don't get approached by WM. I will be a compliment, smile, conversation, flirtin, ect but rarely does that lead anywhere. I don't know why? Maybe is as was said before, WW are a little more aggressive and they make it known they are interested while I want to be persued.
I'm talking to a really nice WM now and at first he didn't call and I kinda felt like he was waiting on a nug. I gave him one and now he texts and calls at appropriate times and asked days in advance (like your supposed to). I think the difference of the aggressor is a cultural thing as well.
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Girl...don't buy that. I've seen many of instances in courting where the guy did ALL the pursuing with my white counterparts. Even the ones guys dating a black girl. I think its the personality of the guy. One thing I will say I see my friends flirt A LOT. I don't really flirt. I smile and appear friendly. They flip the hair, lean in close, touch the shoulders...I ain't wit allla dat! Works for me fine...
 
Crazy....I don't know what men hit on everyone all the time...But men are never the ones that pick...not white men or black men... They all go off of our signs unless they are dogs just playing a numbers game. If a man asks you out (unless they ask every skirt out) you have sent them a sign, either subconsciously or consciously, either real or perceived real, that they have translated into permission to speak.... You are probably just inherently more at ease with black men and may have to put more of an effort into looking approachable to white men...but its the same game at heart.
 
Really C-Squared? Yea, i had gone to the black fin in Royal Oak. This was my first time going to a predominately white bar. I observed many cultural differences. Its funny because the arabic men approach me and my friends, but the white men don't.
 
CarmelCupcake said:
So what about the rest of you ladies...do you often get approached by white men? If so, where?
Click to expand...

It's very interesting that you've brought this up because this has been my situation too. I've never been approached IRL by a white guy. I live in Houston btw.

Interesting thing is that now that I'm back doing the online dating thing, I've gotten quite a few emails from some really cute ones. I spent the entire day yesterday talking to this one white guy I met on match. I was pleasantly surprised to see that we have quite a few things in common. He asked to meet on Wednesday, but I already have plans, so I'm taking a raincheck. I'm actually a bit nervous.

He made an 'interesting' comment, and I wasn't sure how to take it. What do you guys think? It's in the bold. I didn't want to just jump down his throat, but I got a little irritated.


Here are some of his responses saved in my IM. (it's not the entire convo)

Mattie (12/26/2010 4:51:46 PM): well thats nice
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:52:07 PM): I just happened to fit that mold, ever been close to marriage?
Ediese (12/26/2010 4:52:50 PM): only once. didn't work out. you?
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:53:20 PM): no, never really got that far, I'm kind of a late bloomer so; I started later when i really knew what I wanted
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:53:53 PM): once I'm in a situation that I know won't last, I let it go because there is no use in prolonging something that you know isn't right
Ediese (12/26/2010 4:54:43 PM): well I think that's the hardest part. once you know what you want, it gets easier from there
Ediese (12/26/2010 4:55:30 PM): exactly! that's just like me! In the past, it'd take me a whole year to figure that out. It's completely different now that I'm older
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:56:26 PM): right, so I've never been in a relationship longer than 6 months because, I knew; better yet; I know me and whats going to work for me
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:56:33 PM): and thats important
Mattie (12/26/2010 4:57:18 PM): I have very few but, very specific things that I want, they aren't difficult things either so, I'll budge on other things just not my list

Mattie (12/26/2010 5:55:34 PM): oh, well, I've never dated a black girl before either
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:55:46 PM): I mean I've gone on dates but, never actually dated
Ediese (12/26/2010 5:56:10 PM): well this should be interesting. lol
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:56:25 PM): I know right
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:56:36 PM): are your parents pretty tolerant
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:56:45 PM): parents and friends
Ediese (12/26/2010 5:57:04 PM): I think so. we're all a melting pot back home, so it's no biggie. yours?
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:58:04 PM): mine, its never been done so, I'm not really sure
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:58:27 PM): My parents are big on, this is your life your choice whatever you do is your choice
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:58:39 PM): and we'll back you
Ediese (12/26/2010 5:58:53 PM): always a positive outlook
Mattie (12/26/2010 5:59:17 PM): yah, you think there is a reason you never dated a white guy before?
Ediese (12/26/2010 5:59:57 PM): I've never been approached irl although I hang with a mixed crowd.

Mattie (12/26/2010 6:00:29 PM): yah, that is a strange dynamic
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:00:55 PM): I've always thought that a group of black girls wouldn't take me seriously
Ediese (12/26/2010 6:01:47 PM): that's interesting. A few of my friends say that they never get approached although they're open to interracial dating.
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:02:28 PM): yah, well I mean black guys are always like; A, A, A girl; how bout you bring that fine *** here and gimmie dem digits
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:02:35 PM): and it works
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:02:51 PM): and if I tried that, I'm pretty sure I'd get laughed at
Ediese (12/26/2010 6:02:54 PM): absolutely not. i don't think that ever works. every black man doesn’t talk like that either. i’ve never been approached like that. why do you think the way you approach a black woman should be any different than the way you approach any other group of women?
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:03:33 PM): I don't know, to me; women are women; color, creed doesn't matter
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:03:39 PM): its the person so
Ediese (12/26/2010 6:03:45 PM): exactly
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:03:47 PM): and attraction
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:03:54 PM): like Asian women
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:03:58 PM): I'm not attracted
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:04:11 PM): there are some exceptions but, as a whole
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:04:16 PM): just doesn't do it for me
Ediese (12/26/2010 6:04:37 PM): interesting..why do you think that is?
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:04:50 PM): I don't know, I think its because I like tall women
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:04:58 PM): most asians are short
Mattie (12/26/2010 6:05:28 PM): so, there are some very attractive Asian women but, I don't do the short thing

What's this wigger thing that you guys are talking about?
 
At some point in my life I only dated WM. They were the kind that only liked & dated dark skinned women. Although I did enjoy dating WM I always felt like they couldn't understand me, my culture... sometimes they'd forget who was sitting next to them and they'd say something racist. Or, like my last ex, they'd get a holier than thou attitude sometimes. After 15 years of that I met someone of Latino descent and a year later I got married.

I'm all for dating wherever you love and feel comfortable with. My kids are half white but I'll be honest I hope they marry someone Dominican. If they don't then I hope it's someone that loves them very much.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
I get how it rubbed you the wrong way but I don't think he means anything by it....I think he just means he thinks black guys have swagger and if he tried to be like that people would laugh....Like he knows his game is whack......
 
Yea, Ediese, I don't think he meant anything by it either. To be honest, some black men do approach women like this, and the girls, like morons, respond to their nonsense.
 
Ediese said:
What's this wigger thing that you guys are talking about?
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I've done the "wigger" thing (sorry ladies I know that's not a nice word but I'm answering her question) and to ME it's when they talk to you in a fake "black" street accent, they only listen to hip hop, they dress a certain way (street), they resemble that Situation guy from Jersey Shore LOL

I agree with the other ladies, I'm sure he meant nothing by it. I've been approached that way LOL my DH does it to me all the time when we are at the gas station and he's pretending that we are flirting strangers LOL

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arosieworld said:
I get how it rubbed you the wrong way but I don't think he means anything by it....I think he just means he thinks black guys have swagger and if he tried to be like that people would laugh....Like he knows his game is whack......
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Thanks! I really enjoyed talking to him, so I didn't want to overeact when I read his comment if I wasn't meant in malice. I think since this is my first time, I'm being a little hyperaware of things that could potentially be red flags. I might need to relax a bit. lol
 
BostonMaria said:
I've done the "wigger" thing (sorry ladies I know that's not a nice word but I'm answering her question) and to ME it's when they talk to you in a fake "black" street accent, they only listen to hip hop, they dress a certain way (street), they resemble that Situation guy from Jersey Shore LOL

I agree with the other ladies, I'm sure he meant nothing by it. I've been approached that way LOL my DH does it to me all the time when we are at the gas station and he's pretending that we are flirting strangers LOL

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
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Thanks for explaining that BM! I had no idea, but I kept thinking if none of yall like it I better figure ouy what it is now. lol :grin: yea, I don't think I'd date a white guy like that. lol That's hilarious.
 
@ Ediese. I don't think he was trying was trying to be politically incorrect, he was just making an observation that for the most part holds true.

More often then not, WM are sooo much more passive when it comes to approaching woman then BM. BM tend to be more of the "cat callers" where as WM feel the need to swoon a girl and make her think he is a good guy. They seem to run on nerves as opposed to ego. Its quite cute and flattering actually.:lol:

OBVIOUSLY there are exceptions to every scenario, but I do think it serves true for the most part

I also think he was kinda testing the waters. Trying to see your reaction and figure out if woman prefer men to be aggressive while approaching them, as opposed to the "nice guy" thing. I say give him a chance :D He seems to be interested.

Sorry to pop outta the wood work like that. :lol: Just wanted to toss my 2 cents.

*goes back to silently lurking in the shadows*
 
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A wigger is a man with all the qualities of the n-word but white...... I choose to not date anyone who has that suffix.....
 
sensi sweetie said:
@ Ediese. I don't think he was trying was trying to be politically incorrect, he was just making an observation that for the most part holds true.

More often then not, WM are sooo much more passive when it comes to approaching woman then BM. BM tend to be more of the "cat callers" where as WM feel the need to swoon a girl and make her think he is a good guy. They seem to run on nerves vs. ego. Its quite cute actually.:lol: OBVIOUSLY there are exceptions to every scenario, but I do think it serves true for the most part

I also think he was kinda testing the waters. Trying to see your reaction and figure out if woman prefer men to be aggressive while approaching them, as opposed to the "nice guy" thing. I say give him a chance :D He seems to be interested.

Sorry to pop outta the wood work like that. :lol: Just wanted to toss my 2 cents.

*goes back to silently lurking in the shadows*
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Thanks! I really appreciate you commenting too! :-) I'll keep you guys abreast of what happens. He seems cool so far.
 
CarmelCupcake said:
So what about the rest of you ladies...do you often get approached by white men? If so, where?
Click to expand...

9 times out of 10, I'm not looking my best plus, going about my business and I been approached.

Where?

Out road whilst shopping, Supermarkets, on Buses and the usual place of clubs, pubs, etc. I even had a couple of guys (Couriers) chat me up on my doorstep.:lachen:
 
Hey Cupcake (LOL)...I've done the whole bar hopping thing in Royal Oak all down Main Street and Washington Ave. I can only recall on instance when I saw clear cultural differences and it was a lame night anyway. I don't know...things like that are funny.
 
I wouldn't want to be a fetish object either. It reduces you down to some physical charateristic rather than sees you as a whole person. Not to mention that most men aren't trying to have a serious relationship (e.g. marriage) with a woman they're only into for some sexual fetish reason.

I have and will date white men, but the trouble is that it's hard to know what level of involvement they're willing to sign on to. Some just want to sex a black woman, some are willing to be in relationship but not get married, and some are willing to go the whole nine yards. But it's hard to know at the outset what type you have. Two of my black women friends were dumped by their white boyfriends years into the relationship because at the end of the day they couldn't marry a black woman.

One of them told my friend he LOVED black women, thought they were the sexiness women on earth...but when he was ready to get married he married someone white because that's who he envisioned as wife and mother material. He tried to come crawling back after that relationship didn't work but thankfully she was not having it.
 
Ediese, I think you did sound a bit defensive in your response to him. Honestly, you told the guy you'd never had a black dude do the "Ai Shortay!" thing? That simply cannot be true. Those type of black dudes would holler at ANY woman, let alone a beautiful girl like you. I hope you do give him a chance, he didn't say anything that sounded off to me.

As to the main topic, I don't see anything wrong with white guys who prefer BW. The white guys that I dated in my single days had never been with a black girl before me. After we were together, they were SOLELY interested in black chicks :D lol. They had no use for any other type of girl anymore. I feel kinda bad for the one guy, as his family moved back to Russia and I know he was hurting for black chicks out there :lachen:

After all, most BM prefer white women or basically any kind of woman BUT a black woman. And yet black women bend over backwards and tie themselves in knots to chase these men who would have any other type of woman if they had their preference. So why not date a man who actually prefers a BW? Makes sense to me.

I tell you what, if I'm single again you can trust and believe I will marry a WM with a strong and exclusive preference for BW, but NOT a member of the Federline Federation. A guy who claims so much love for AA culture probably wouldn't be a good match, those tend to be the fetishy ones IME.

A mature, intelligent, successful WM with a preference for my copper skin can step to me for sure, though. I agree that a man does have to have a strong character to openly defy convention and pursue a BW for marriage.
 
I have never been approached by white men, I figure because I am on the larger end of the spectrum for a BW. Not saying that WM do not date larger BW, but the quality of WM that I have seen dating larger BW wasn't that high. Remember, this is what I have seen and other's may have had a different experience. I have hung out with my white male coworkers and their friends and had fun, but I have never felt a vibe from any of these guys. Just as well because I prefer to date BM.

For some strange reason, I have picked up a vibe from GWM. I have no idea what that is all about. It is fun hanging out with them also.
 
Off topic, but does anyone feel like their intersts aren't "diverse" enough to date outside your race?

I've never dated anyone outside my race but I feel like we wouldn't have anything in common. Like, when I look at the stuff I'm really stoked about doing...Like next month I was thinking about going to a Frankie Beverly and Maze concert and also to the HBCU Battle of the Bands.

Random observation- I also like classical music (sometimes) and I went to see the atlanta symphony orchestra several months back and noticed a lot of BW, WM couples at that particular venue for some reason.
 
My BF made me a little irritated the other day. He said that black men will talk to all types of women but that white men don't like us. I told him that white men do like black women (even though white men don't approach me), but he said that I was wrong.

But on another note, after leaving the predominantly white bar the other night, I can see why white women love black men so much....black men actually pursue women, whereas white women probably do a lot of pursuing in the white culture. Personally, I would prefer for a man to approach me rather than having to hunt him down.:lol:
 
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Ediese said:
It's very interesting that you've brought this up because this has been my situation too. I've never been approached IRL by a white guy. I live in Houston btw........What's this wigger thing that you guys are talking about?
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Not going to quote the whole thing, but this was funny. I think that he has some oppinions on races, we all kinda do. If that is as bad as it is, I wouldn't worry. Here is an example of Wiggery on match, this is a guy that has been prester me for weeks.

"about my date, well, dark skin, white teeth, nice breast, big butt, shorter than me, smaller than me,"

This is on his front page, the about me part????? And you know he's not cute!
 
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