are 'White Men' reeeeeeaally getting it?

[facets]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

Haha...Okay. I'll check it out when I move. I'll definitely try to be more "open" to guys of ALL races and "smile" more because even though I'm the sweetest person in the world, I think I'm generally more "serious" around people I don't know very well, and I tend to walk around not smiling. That's not to say that I never smile. I DO smile. In fact, I think I smile more than most people. I'm just not used to smiling while walking down the street. Of course, I don't want to look like some crazy person smiling to themselves either! LOL!

BTW...what does YMMV stand for?

nah you don't have to cheese constantly or chase..just seem approachable and friendly.

YMMV=Your Mileage May Vary...like everyone has slightly different experiences.

To clarify, for me, Cali hasn't been a dating wasteland(as far as white guys go) but for a nice mix of guys it has sucked. Also, IMO the men here in general are more passive *comparatively*
... They're not all sans testes but, IMHO, they just don't 'mack' like men from other places do. They do but it's not the same... then, like for every 1 guy who's approached me here, 7 would have back east. Also menz seems *everywhere* in New York. i don't know why?! maybe it was obvious that i was an out of towner or somthing?

So, New York and Paris seem like amazing places to be single esp. if you'd like to date men of color too!

I didn't intend to give the Bay Area a bad rap..& I'm thinking a lot of my early dating years here(starting late 1980s..so i'm kinda old)

I met guys but it might have been nice to get together with more men of color but the cool brown and black ones weren't checkin for me...
i'd have that first hand experience y'know...so I wouldn't have to be asking nosy questions on the net.

 

[facets]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

I get hit on by nothing but white guys it seems....I don't get it. I got approached at Starbucks,Peets Coffee, Bookstores, work, in San Francisco, bart... I met hubby in high school and he was one of 3 normal white boys in the entire school! (the 2 others there acted like they were going thru an idenity crisis if you get my meaning) The other was my Greek friend and believe it or not, I actually turned down my Greek friends relationship proposal for my hubby's. The 3rd was/is my hubby's friend and, yes, that one fell for a sista too...;D

The Bay Area definately seems to hold a lot of whites attracted to black women. Oregon too.

i worked at Peet's for awhile.. years ago! i met one Wguy there, a customer. first date only tho', he was just too old for me then.

 

[Bunny77]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

I'm seriously starting to think that once you date one white guy, you start giving off some kind of white-guy signal. Ever since one asked me out in grad school back in 2000, it seems that's all I've been dating.

Although I have been going out with more black men now that I'm in Metro Detroit. But Orlando, FL? It was just a parade of white dudes.

I met many at events and parties through my job, but also picked up a few online. I really think that a lot has to do with geography also... some areas just seem more conducive for WM/BW dating than others.

 

[imstush]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

maybe i'm an old-timey meanie but a smile/flirtatious look should be enough. i feel the guy needs the balls, not the gal. just MHO<shrug>

i used to walk around stressed and looking evil until one of my friends told me that his friend thought i was really cute but needed to smile more/always looked mad. he was scared to speak. and this was a black guy.

i was so embarassed but i still remember that.

No I definitely agree with you Kaybeegee. Unfortunately I am the same way, my guy friends tell me that all the time...you are too intimidating, you need to smile. It's actually starting to get depressing, I do not get approached, and the ones that are "hollering" are the youngbucks talking about "damn ma you got a fat..."

That was your chance! I have had a few {not many at all} "stare" at me...but it's not "I'm in interested in you stare"...if anything it's mostly a glance saying they "notice" me if I happen to walk in a store...or it's one of those "comical" glances...maybe they are just silly-not sure. Other than that, it's old white men who think they are flirting by winking their eye at me and smiling almost lustfully...ugh not interested in that! To be honest, I never really see many white guys I would be interested in dating let alone "going there" with unless he is a model and maybe the occasional celebrity...but those are people I will NEVER have a chance with...simply because they are who they are. Now, I will say this: There has been only one guy of the other "persuasion" that I was REALLY interested in...I mean I was crushing so hard for this guy at one point...even had a few dream fantasies. He was in my class. He smiled at me one day...which was only a friendly smile but that was the day I became "in to him"-before that I never noticed he was in the class. We didn't have many conversations after class either-once we did it was related to classwork...and towards the end of the semester we exchanged a few emails..all class-related. The class ended a little earlier than usual {we were done with that particular class, however; school and other classes were still in session}. To make a long story short, the only contact after the class was email...I even gave him a compliment {he has a really great smile} once and he didn't bite. It was like I had to initiate everything...after awhile things turned ugly via emails so that was that . I can honestly say that was the one [white] dude who could have got it...but apparently he wasn't into me like that...I'm sure he was already in a relationship anyway. Oh, he was White {American} and Lebanese. I also think it's my location. I live in a place where you don't see many interracial relationships...there are even scarce Black man/White woman relationships {I don't blame them}...However, there are supposedly quite a few Black men/Native American women relationships. Also, I'm definitely not into white guys who are from the American South. The few white guys that I was interested in {there was another situation with some guys at a gas station several years ago..I was 15 then!} have all been from the northeastern United States.

Damn...it's funny the white men that do actually come up to me are older ones, usually out of shape, and or married ones Your story kind of reminded me of my coworker, who dammit if he only knew!!!!!!!!

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

Your story kind of reminded me of my coworker, who dammit if he only knew!!!!!!!!

Well, see that's the thing. I'm reading some of the responses and some of the women mentioned that all you have to do is smile or say a friendly "hello" and they will approach you if interested. However, for some you can damn near shout it out that you are interested in them and they won't make the first move. I also remember this one lady who was telling me about this guy...she said he was this white guy who "chatted [her] up" in a restaurant but he never asked for her number...it was if he was afraid even though they had a conversation...she could tell he was interested but just didn't have the "balls" to take it to the next level. She said she was not interested in someone who could not ask her for her number or for a date. I'm not the type to ask guys for their number let alone ask them out no matter what the race...so I'm thinking that the one person that I happened to be interested in just wasn't interested in me....the funny thing is that I would always see him in the library or in the office building...and he would always speak to me...just overly friendly because most people around the campus never spoke.

 

[trinidarkie1]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

i must say that I enjoyed reading this thread to the FULLEST!
Esp when the Sushi talk came up

I have never had the opportunity to date anyone else but a black guy. In the caribbean we dont really 'date'. WE have bfs for years and years, break up and have another one for years and years, that kinda thing.

Before moving to Philly, I lived in All white Minnesota. Not one white guy every stepped to me. I had a very fierce presence on campus, no ish, no talk, no nonsense. I didnt smile etc. Most of those times I was in a LDR as well, so I wasnt really looking.
But I did say that any white guy that ever had the cojones to step to me, I would date.. no-one ever did.

Now I'm married to an AA guy and he says that I'm a white girl. whatever!

 

[imstush]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

Well, see that's the thing. I'm reading some of the responses and some of the women mentioned that all you have to do is smile or say a friendly "hello" and they will approach you if interested. However, for some you can damn near shout it out that you are interested in them and they won't make the first move. I also remember this one lady who was telling me about this guy...she said he was this white guy who "chatted [her] up" in a restaurant but he never asked for her number...it was if he was afraid even though they had a conversation...she could tell he was interested but just didn't have the "balls" to take it to the next level. She said she was not interested in someone who could not ask her for her number or for a date. I'm not the type to ask guys for their number let alone ask them out no matter what the race...so I'm thinking that the one person that I happened to be interested in just wasn't interested in me....the funny thing is that I would always see him in the library or in the office building...and he would always speak to me...just overly friendly because most people around the campus never spoke.

Yup, again I know what you mean. In the bars that I hang out at (wall st. area) that's what happens. They come up to me, converse...we will joke and talk and that's that. I will never know.

 

[kisz4tj]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

Where do you live?? Seriously, you, imstush, and I should meet up...its NEW YORK CITY...they gotta be out here somewhere!!



I just read your experience with the FIONE white boy staring you down and nothing came out of it ...well girl, just put on those balls next time around and be BOLD...don't miss out on an opportunity like this, even if you just get a free lunch/dinner out of it!

ETA: I'm in Canarsie...and there ain't much eye candy around here

I live in the BX, but work in Rockefeller Plaza....with a whole buncha white men.

 

[Dare~to~Dream]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

Yup, again I know what you mean. In the bars that I hang out at (wall st. area) that's what happens. They come up to me, converse...we will joke and talk and that's that. I will never know.

I'm beginning to think that maybe we are too intimidating...

 

[BEAUTIFULBLACKHAIR]

Re: are 'White Boys' reeeeeeaally getting it?

okay now you've got me wondering if i missed out on something during my single days :scratchch:

Me Too!!ohwell:

 

[mnemosyne]

I'm not finished reading this thread yet but I am over here at it being called "sushi night."

In short, yes they are and mmm, but it doesn't matter to me who or what they are as long as they fit me personality/whatever -wise.