Spin-off : If You Hit Your Boyfriend/husband

[justNikki]

when a man hits a woman, no one wants to say what was she doing to make him hit her. So why is it ok for the reverse. Unless he was putting his hands on her she shouldn't hit him and vice versa. No one can MAKE you hit them with their words or actions, unless they hit you first. Own your own emotions and learn how to control them.

Many women are resistant to the idea of keeping our hands to ourselves because we want to be able to wild out like a toddler and cry weaker sex after we get smacked in the face for it. If you roll up and approach a man like a man, why would you be shocked if he treated you like one?? I pray he doesn't, but I sure wouldn't be surprised.

Even the most passive, morally centered man can have a bad day. It only takes ONE time. The lesson that should be sent to all is to not hit.
...

This is what a lot of women don't get. You could slap a man for 20 years, but that one day, that's an especially bad day for him...that might be the day he pops you back.

Obviously he isn't bothered if he still married her and they're still together.

Would you say this if the sexes were opposite? Really?

So everybody just forgot about that Solange video huh? Jay Z did the right thing in most people's eyes. He kept his cool for the most part. But if she was dealing with someone who had less to lose, she would have been on that floor. ijs. She knew she could try it with him.

And you know this...I saw it all in JayZ's body movements. However, I suspect she wouldn't have cut up like that if he didn't have so much to lose.

I wouldn't hit him, but if I did, I KNOW he would hit me back. We had that talk a long time ago, and he thinks once you hit somebody you can't expect not to be hit back. Obviously we disagree, I think a man should never put his hands on a woman in anger.

A lot of men feel this way. They aren't abusive men, they fight the urge whenever a woman wilds out. Catch him on the wrong day though...

The type of dude who would lay hands on you for any reason aint ****.

Whenever this topic comes up, I can't help but to think that the same chicks saying a dude is right for returning hands woulda been all up in The Color Purple advising Harpo to beat Sophia.

And I am unanimous in that.

I would NEVER encourage a man to hit a woman and I have NEVER been in a relationship where hitting was done out of anger on either part, mine or my man's. Not one. I still don't think a woman should put her hands on a man that way either.

I would hope your logic goes both ways...that a woman who lays her hands on a man for any reason....she ain't **** either.

 

[LaBelleLL]

I'm actually so surprised at how pro physical violence people are here. It's so trashy. Yeah I said it.

 

[FemmeFatale]

The question isn't just is it wrong if a woman hits a man (AND FOR THE RECORD YES IT IS) the question is it ok for a man to hit back..my answer to that is NO IT ISN'T, LEAVE THE PREMISES, CALL THE POLICE

Hopefully this is visible to everyone.

 

[SuchaLady]

I'm actually so surprised at how pro physical violence people are here. It's so trashy. Yeah I said it.

I agree. And as usual posters are trying to be divisive about it like we don't have enough self worth or something Having enough common sense to realize that someone could kill me with a sucker punch would be enough motivation for me to not even lay my hands on him. I thought not hitting someone was general knowledge but apparently if it doesn't hurt it's not abuse. Some of these high and mighty posts come off so basic

 

[ambergirl]

This

These threads are getting disturbing to me.

This

I'm actually so surprised at how pro physical violence people are here. It's so trashy. Yeah I said it.

This

The question isn't just is it wrong if a woman hits a man (AND FOR THE RECORD YES IT IS) the question is it ok for a man to hit back..my answer to that is NO IT ISN'T, LEAVE THE PREMISES, CALL THE POLICE Hopefully this is visible to everyone.

Especially this

The contempt for women is skrong up in here .

This whole thread in general

 

[LaBelleLL]

The question isn't just is it wrong if a woman hits a man (AND FOR THE RECORD YES IT IS) the question is it ok for a man to hit back..my answer to that is NO IT ISN'T, LEAVE THE PREMISES, CALL THE POLICE Hopefully this is visible to everyone.

Ok so obviously men should not hit women. I believe many posters in here are saying this. But you've missed the posts where people are basically saying it's ok for women to hit men bc they can't do that much damage. Idk why that's even brought up bc IMO physical violence is physical violence and it's trashy and low class to me. So when posters are saying everyone should just keep their hands to themselves, other posters threw ridiculous shade to those comments. Twisting it to say black women co sign this and black women co sign that.

No actually.

 

[intellectualuva]

Having enough common sense to realize that someone could kill me with a sucker punch would be enough motivation for me to not even lay my hands on him.

This is it for me anyway. The men Im usually involved with are almost a foot taller and 50+ lbs heavier...they are former centers and linebackers. No thanks. Lol. I have no interest or desire to approach him like im going to seriously threaten him....lol. I dont think any would hit ne back. My current would just laugh anyway, but would tell me not to do it again. We talk. Stepback if we're pissed til we can talk calmly.

This doesn't mean I take pleasure and wouldnt be appalled at a man hitting a woman. Frankly..I can't even stand to watch a man scream on his woman or get in her face in a threatening manner.

I don't get why these two ideas need to separated....

 

[FemmeFatale]

...would he hit you back?


Say you're arguing with your S/O and you're so frustrated that you end up slapping him or shoving him really hard ....would he hit you back ?

If he did, would he be justified in your opinion? I'm not talking in general, I'm asking specifically about your current S/O.

This is a spin-off of the thread in ET about Steve Smith and his comments about domestic violence. A lot of ladies in that thread agreed that if a woman hit a man, she should prepare to get hit back.

LaBelleLL I am strictly responding to the OP, the bolded sentiment is a common sentiment amongst bw (the justification of being hit) it's just something that I've heard over and over again.

 

[SuchaLady]

Seriously, I talked to a linebacker in college. He was 6'5, 260. I would've been an idiot to hit someone that is literally two of me. He more than likely could've killed me with a headbutt but because I know better than to physically assault someone I support woman beaters

This is it for me anyway. The men Im usually involved with are almost a foot taller and 50+ lbs heavier...they are former centers and linebackers. No thanks. Lol. I have no interest or desire to approach him like im going to seriously threaten him....lol. I dont think any would hit ne back. My current would just laugh anyway, but would tell me not to do it again. We talk. Stepback if we're pissed til we can talk calmly. This doesn't mean I take pleasure and wouldnt be appalled at a man hitting a woman. Frankly..I can't even stand to watch a man scream on his woman or get in her face in a threatening manner. I don't get why these two ideas need to separated....

 

[LaBelleLL]

Seriously, I talked to a linebacker in college. He was 6'5, 260. I would've been an idiot to hit someone that is literally two of me. He more than likely could've killed me with a headbutt but because I know better than to physically assault someone I support woman beaters

And then there are some of us, myself included, where physical violence isn't something to defer to. that behavior is just not in my blood. I have

while this thread is about men hitting women, I really had to respond to the shade being thrown about towards certain comments.

Carry back on!

 

[FemmeFatale]

I'm actually so surprised at how pro physical violence people are here. It's so trashy. Yeah I said it.

And if LHCF is supposed to be the "UE" black forum where the enlightened unicorns and goddesses reside, imagine what the general consensus is elsewhere.

WORSE.

 

[dicapr]

Sorry there has to be a hard line for men. I'm glad the law exists and the lawmakers have enough sense to recognize this

What law? If you hit your man you are charged with domestic abuse also. You aren't protected by any law if it is shown that you initiated the fight by putting your hands on him first.

 

[FemmeFatale]

What law? If you hit your man you are charged with domestic abuse also. You aren't protected by any law if it is shown that you initiated the fight by putting your hands on him first.

Ok.........

 

[LaBelleLL]

And if LHCF is supposed to be the "UE" black forum where the enlightened unicorns and goddesses reside, imagine what the general consensus is elsewhere. WORSE.

Que? I'm quite confused. What do you mean the consensus could be worse? Like more people are pro physical violence in comparison to the 30 vocal posters on LHCF? Lol

 

[FemmeFatale]

Que? I'm quite confused. What do you mean the consensus could be worse? Like more people are pro physical violence in comparison to the 30 vocal posters on LHCF? Lol

Nevermind. Happy Saturday.

 

[barbiesocialite]

And if LHCF is supposed to be the "UE" black forum where the enlightened unicorns and goddesses reside, imagine what the general consensus is elsewhere.

WORSE.

It's a sense of entitlement, you can tell the women who have more of it than others.

White, asian and latino women tend to be the most entitled women ever. I know more of them that have laid hands on a man tham anyone else. And no, most men don't hit back. The men know better. Ill never forget the ww I met one day who was pretty much saying how awesome her son in law is and how spoiled and awful her daughter is accusing her of being basically a husband beater. I thought the girl was a newlywed but come to find she's been married 20+ years with 3 kids, including a daughter just like her.

fact is that its hard being a man. they have to deal with a lot but its their job to be the protector and better person when it cpmes to the women in their life. They don't need your sympathy. Theyll be iight lol

 

[FemmeFatale]

It's a sense of entitlement, you can tell the women who have more of it than others.

White, asian and latino women tend to be the most entitled women ever. I know more of them that have laid hands on a man tham anyone else. And no, most men don't hit back. The men know better. Ill never forget the ww I met one day who was pretty much saying how awesome her son in law is and how spoiled and awful her daughter is accusing her of being basically a husband beater. I thought the girl was a newlywed but come to find she's been married 20+ years with 3 kids, including a daughter just like her.

fact is that its hard being a man. they have to deal with a lot but its their job to be the protector and better person when it cpmes to the women in their life. They don't need your sympathy. Theyll be iight lol

Yep I knew I wasn't crazy . I was thinking something along the lines of bw going along with the role of being the mules of the earth but I'm just too tired to banter. It's Saturday and I have mad things to do.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Nope. I don't condone men hitting women period. Every man I've ver dated has had at least 5+inches and 50+ lbs on me. I'm a small woman and I tell them from the door. If you hit me, you gone have to hit three other people. My brothers. And the men in prison later.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I would hope your logic goes both ways...that a woman who lays her hands on a man for any reason....she ain't **** either.

I don't take that as a given for a woman, although the odds are 'she' might not be **** either. It's not unheard of that ain't **** people flock together.

It's a given for a man period.

 

[FemmeFatale]

Adding this to my list of vetting questions

 

[Honey Bee]

Oh, so it's UE now to hit your man?

 

[sj10460]

Oh, so it's UE now to hit your man?

No, it's only UE if he doesn't hit back. If he does then you are ratchet (LE)

 

[SophieDulce]

No he wouldn't he'd be really pissed though.

 

[SuchaLady]

Right

Oh, so it's UE now to hit your man?

 

[SuchaLady]

Let me go text my boo thang and see what he says. I know the answer but I cant help myself

 

[intellectualuva]

Oh, so it's UE now to hit your man?

 

[menina]

And now grown women want to equate themselves to children for the sake of argument. Who's misogynist now? Y'all always gotta go to the extreme. Both sides are saying similar things, but because folks have predisposed thoughts about the other, it's gotten stupid. And in all this, black women are still getting blamed for everything instead of the men.

 

[SuchaLady]

He was like wtf? I'd never hit you

Let me go text my boo thang and see what he says. I know the answer but I cant help myself

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Adding this to my list of vetting questions

That you even have vetting questions let's me know that the type of dude being discussed wouldn't make it past the first round.

 

[FemmeFatale]

That you even have vetting questions let's me know that the type of dude being discussed wouldn't make it past the first round.

Dismissed, stat.