Spin-off : If You Hit Your Boyfriend/husband

[Princess4real]

We are not getting anywhere. LoL

 

[Nazaneen]

Tell that to female firefighters and front-line military personnel who fought the 'physical differences' argument to get their positions. I'm not being snarky, I'm just trying to illustrate the point: when you claim you're equal in every measurable way, you take the risk of actually being treated like an equal. You don't get to pick and choose when it doesn't apply.

We may be equal but we're different from men. Anyone who denies that is silly. We are physically weaker, smaller, and generally more sensitive. Doesn't make us less than men, just different.
So I guess I'm not a feminist

 

[Femmefatal1981]

Feminism is one of the reasons why women can no longer be abused by their husbands in physical, financial, and emotional ways and it be encouraged and considered legal. Feminism is always being drudged into a conversation of something ugly and I just disliked it. Feminism was about bringing women on an equal plain socially and economically. Physically, we are never going to be on an equal plain. A man who is 50 pounds lighter than me likely still packs a more powerful punch because physically, we are always going to have differences in men and women. Aside from pure biology, all men should have a pride in themselves that would not allow them to deal with women in such a rough and tumble manner. As should women have a pride in themselves that would not allow them to stoop to certain actions. But one person going wrong does not have to be the catalyst for the other person looking their pride and dignity.

What does feminism have to do with men not hitting women, but women being allowed to hit men?

 

[Honey Bee]

I don't think that is true. The argument has never been that women and men are physically equal, it has always been that women are capable of doing these jobs regardless of our physical disadvantage because of the tools at our disposal. One doesn't need to be a man to be a firefighter. There is a reason we accept men's and women's races and leagues.

Ogoma, I chose those professions purposefully. In both, you have at minimum, 15-20 lbs of gear that you have to carry, or you have to be physically capable of carrying someone from a burning building. I know the fireman's test includes a physical portion. There are no tools available that make it easier for a woman to carry a grown man from a burning building and the various military gear required for a war zone ain't checking gender.

We're either equals or we're not, but we can't waffle back and forth when it suits us. It's disingenuous and simply adds to the 'women are illogical' stereotype.

 

[drappedup]

Ogoma, I chose those professions purposefully. In both, you have at minimum, 15-20 lbs of gear that you have to carry, or you have to be physically capable of carrying someone from a burning building. I know the fireman's test includes a physical portion. There are no tools available that make it easier for a woman to carry a grown man from a burning building and the various military gear required for a war zone ain't checking gender.

We're either equals or we're not, but we can't waffle back and forth when it suits us. It's disingenuous and simply adds to the 'women are illogical' stereotype.

the average woman can't carry a man from a burning building, though. yes, there are SOME women who are physically capable of performing such tasks. and these women who happen to meet the standards of physically strenuous jobs do deserve the job. the point is, no discrimination exists against them simply because of their sex.

these women are quite clearly exceptions and not the rule. it's a biological fact that your average woman is simply naturally weaker and smaller. it's just the way we are built. there is no shame in it. typically women who do prove capable of those types of things have to work extremely hard to build up to it.....they don't have the natural strength most men in those jobs do.

this is not picking and choosing equality. these women are working hard and meeting the STANDARD. they are not lowering standards simply for women. i don't see how it's illogical at all.

 

[Kanky]

Tell that to female firefighters and front-line military personnel who fought the 'physical differences' argument to get their positions. I'm not being snarky, I'm just trying to illustrate the point: when you claim you're equal in every measurable way, you take the risk of actually being treated like an equal. You don't get to pick and choose when it doesn't apply.

Similar to wp who are like, 'OK, we did the CRM, let's move along now' when we talk about continuing racial inequities. They feel like they did their part, now pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get out hood, dammit. The reality is, our schools are underfunded, we're over-policed and over-inprisoned ... but they ain't trynna hear it because we said what we wanted and got it. We weren't specific enough. And, based on what you're saying, neither were the feminists.

It's a shame I even have to say this, but to follow my own advice, allow me to specify. I'm not saying men should hit women. I agree that the man who does it is low and undeserving of my respect or attention. But if we're talking cultural shifts and a changing intersex landscape, I point to feminism as the most recent and far-reaching.

Feminism is not about being "equal in every measurable way." No one with any sense is claiming that men and women are physically the same. Feminism is basically about being treated fairly by your government and your employer. I've heard some men use this as an excuse to hit women, but they are usually hateful loser types. And actually those types of men aren't treating women the same way that they treat men. They are treating them worse, because men tend to avoid violence unless absolutely necessary against other men because they might not win in a fair fight. Men can hit you because feminism is just more misogyny.

 

[Ogoma]

Ogoma, I chose those professions purposefully. In both, you have at minimum, 15-20 lbs of gear that you have to carry, or you have to be physically capable of carrying someone from a burning building. I know the fireman's test includes a physical portion. There are no tools available that make it easier for a woman to carry a grown man from a burning building and the various military gear required for a war zone ain't checking gender. We're either equals or we're not, but we can't waffle back and forth when it suits us. It's disingenuous and simply adds to the 'women are illogical' stereotype.

15-20 lbs of gear is not restrictive for most women. That is just carry on luggage. That we are physically weaker is not the same as having no strength whatsoever. The weight is also distributed. We can pull off a 15 lb weight gain just fine.

Yes, there are skills and tools for dragging a heavy man from a burning building. Not even a man can lift all men so there is training and tools to account for that.

 

[MizAvalon]

Absolutely never.

 

[Supervixen]

Ogoma, I chose those professions purposefully. In both, you have at minimum, 15-20 lbs of gear that you have to carry, or you have to be physically capable of carrying someone from a burning building. I know the fireman's test includes a physical portion. There are no tools available that make it easier for a woman to carry a grown man from a burning building and the various military gear required for a war zone ain't checking gender. We're either equals or we're not, but we can't waffle back and forth when it suits us. It's disingenuous and simply adds to the 'women are illogical' stereotype.

I can add personal clarity to this. Firefighters wear about 70lbs of gear EXcluding an ax or whatever hose packs they need. So, the argument about the equipment being as heavy as a carry on bag is just not true.

 

[Supervixen]

15-20 lbs of gear is not restrictive for most women. That is just carry on luggage. That we are physically weaker is not the same as having no strength whatsoever. The weight is also distributed. We can pull off a 15 lb weight gain just fine. Yes, there are skills and tools for dragging a heavy man from a burning building. Not even a man can lift all men so there is training and tools to account for that.

Again adding better details wrt firefighters...change 15-20 to 70-100.

There are men that cant lift every man but more women that cant.

Don't hit a doggone man. That's it thats all.

 

[Ms. Tarabotti]

I had a chance to try on a firefighters gear and it is indeed quite heavy, much heavier than carry on luggage. The clothing alone is heavier than it looks.

I believe if you are going to hit someone, be prepared to get hit back. Yes, a man should not hit a woman (and I believe that a woman shouldn't hit a man either), but some men have no problem hitting a woman back.

 

[MamitaLolita]

I can add personal clarity to this. Firefighters wear about 70lbs of gear EXcluding an ax or whatever hose packs they need. So, the argument about the equipment being as heavy as a carry on bag is just not true.

Let's not mention how heavy those hoses are, even when you have multiple people holding them. Manning the nozzle with that water pressure is nearly impossible to do alone. I struggled with people holding down the length behind me and I am not a weak female by any means.

And yes the equipment is ridiculous. Boots are heavier than combat boots - those are maybe 10 or 20 lbs. what type of carry ons are ppl lugging around?

 

[MamitaLolita]

Ogoma, I chose those professions purposefully. In both, you have at minimum, 15-20 lbs of gear that you have to carry, or you have to be physically capable of carrying someone from a burning building. I know the fireman's test includes a physical portion. There are no tools available that make it easier for a woman to carry a grown man from a burning building and the various military gear required for a war zone ain't checking gender. We're either equals or we're not, but we can't waffle back and forth when it suits us. It's disingenuous and simply adds to the 'women are illogical' stereotype.

Honey Bee, I think I see your argument and I do agree in part. I think you're saying that we wanna be equal unless it suits us? I see but at the same time within reason.

Women seek equality in the work place. I don't see women at home seeking equality with their husbands. I don't expect any male in the work place to help me because I am a female, but my life partner of course I would. I don't think it's right to compare what women seek in the workplace to what they seek at home.

Yes, we do often try to work jobs outside of our physical measures. I often work male dominant jobs and I am often sad about what I can't accomplish. I can carry a woman on my shoulders but obviously not a man. I can shoot a pistol but not a shotgun. I can't lift the metal tiles where ports are configured. In brute strength we are not equal, but I can also floor a man and restrain one. Physical strength does not mean equality. Women also have much higher pain tolerance. We have different things that make us stronger. As human beings we are equal.

Off topic but one of the first inventors of the computer (actually most of them) was female. Why is IT a male dominant rate? Same thing with covert affairs and a list of specializations pioneered by women. I don't think it was always within a woman's natural to be frail and fragile. I believe media pushed this portrayal out and made it more desirable.

Sorry I totally rambled but in short I do believe we are equal. At work, treat me like a worker. At home, treat me as a partner:,

 

[MamitaLolita]

You would be surprised but a lot of men don't know that women are not as strong as them. In a rescue exercise four of us hauled a stretcher while one person held a flashlight so we could see. I was the only female in the group and my end of the stretcher was sagging. The doll was only around 180 if even but the weight was not being well distributed. One of the guys yelled at me for not holding my end up, meanwhile a 6' something dude is walking ahead with nothing in his hands. I thought to myself, how about you get the lazy idiot back here and let me walk ahead, but my ego is too big for that. I hauled my end as will as I could.

I could go on all day about trying situations like these. A lot of men think women should be at home but we don't all want to be. We want to live fulfilling lives just as they do. We love our families and want to protect them. But we still need to be treated right by the men in our lives at the end of the day. Because life is hard enough for a working woman, and we don't need to get trample call over again after a long day of work. We work hard enough to show how strong we are, home is a place for us to let our guard down and feel safe.

 

[MamitaLolita]

Feminism is not about being "equal in every measurable way." No one with any sense is claiming that men and women are physically the same. Feminism is basically about being treated fairly by your government and your employer. I've heard some men use this as an excuse to hit women, but they are usually hateful loser types. And actually those types of men aren't treating women the same way that they treat men. They are treating them worse, because men tend to avoid violence unless absolutely necessary against other men because they might not win in a fair fight. Men can hit you because feminism is just more misogyny.

Yep. Most men who would hit a woman would not even hit a man.

 

[SophieDulce]

I just hit dh today to see what he would do.

He was like " what'ssss wrong with you??? Are you on your period."

Me : "oh Nothing, thnx babe. . I love you.."

Him: " you are crazy lol "

 

[barbiesocialite]

Funny coincidence: so I recently watched a documentary on Russian prisons and their worst most hardened criminals....anyway, one of the guys that's considered on of the biggest mobsters said, and I quote, "I only kill men. there is a rule--no one touches women or children because they can't fight back."

Too many black women wanna be Miss Celie

 

[FemmeFatale]

Funny coincidence: so I recently watched a documentary on Russian prisons and their worst most hardened criminals....anyway, one of the guys that's considered on of the biggest mobsters said, and I quote, "I only kill men. there is a rule--no one touches women or children because they can't fight back." Too many black women wanna be Miss Celie

Even a ruthless Russian mobster gets it.

 

[lux10023]

something similar happened btwn dh and i last night

i was making a point about something we were slightly disagreeing on.... and he does this really annoying thing when he doesnt want to hear my mouth anymore--he tries kissing me up--

anyhoooo i shoved the heck outta him and said i dont wanna kiss right now...

ok i felt bad after

he stopped then looked at me for what felt like an eternity aka .5 secs and proceeded to watch tv...

the shove wasnt hard but it was enough to smack a chick if he was that type of man...but i know he is not..i was actually surprised at myself--i just was annoyed as he always does that...anyhooo i wont do that again as that is not how i wanna treat dh

but this thread came to mind....

i don't condone men hitting women under any circumstances unless death is involved

I just hit dh today to see what he would do.

He was like " what'ssss wrong with you??? Are you on your period."

Me : "oh Nothing, thnx babe. . I love you.."

Him: " you are crazy lol "

 

[LaBelleLL]

Funny coincidence: so I recently watched a documentary on Russian prisons and their worst most hardened criminals....anyway, one of the guys that's considered on of the biggest mobsters said, and I quote, "I only kill men. there is a rule--no one touches women or children because they can't fight back."

Too many black women wanna be Miss Celie

speaking of russia. there is a very sad and sick video out of this criminal who stabs a woman in the heart during a robbery. she bleeds out and dies. this is all in russia. don't let the white people fool you

 

[Femmefatal1981]

speaking of russia. there is a very sad and sick video out of this criminal who stabs a woman in the heart during a robbery. she bleeds out and dies. this is all in russia. don't let the white people fool you

Right. I read an article recently on sex slaves in Russia. Basically says that most of the women doing porn there are sex slaves kept working by force.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I swear some women want their man to pimp slap of them and are raising their boys to do the same.

smh.

good luck with that. but if that's the men some women like, hey do boo. make sure you follow his rules and keep your hands to yourself so he doesnt slap the ish out of you. folks know what kinda man they have

 

[LaBelleLL]

I swear some women want their man to pimp slap of them and are raising their boys to do the same.

smh.

good luck with that. but if that's the men some women like, hey do boo. make sure you follow his rules so he doesnt slap the ish out of you

you must be high. are you high? where do you get the sense that women want their sons to pimp slap other women?

really though. domestic violence is huge in russia. and alcholism exacerbates those rates. and DV is seen as a private act so the men get off scot free. so to compare a russian man (who prob beats women, just didn't kill them) to black women is just then . like...basically black women have NOTHING to learn from russian men.

 

[dicapr]

I swear some women want their man to pimp slap of them and are raising their boys to do the same. smh. good luck with that. but if that's the men some women like, hey do boo. make sure you follow his rules and keep your hands to yourself so he doesnt slap the ish out of you. folks know what kinda man they have

Where did you get all that from?? How is Russia having a domestic abuse problem equal to wanting to be pimp slapped? Some women just want to hit their DH/SO in the name of femininity and if the both like it I love it. I just don't like bullies and putting your hands on someone who can't or won't hit back is bullying to me. There is nothing wrong with both men and women keeping their hands to themselves.

 

[barbiesocialite]

you must be high. are you high? where do you get the sense that women want their sons to pimp slap other women?

really though. domestic violence is huge in russia. and alcholism exacerbates those rates. and DV is seen as a private act so the men get off scot free. so to compare a russian man (who prob beats women, just didn't kill them) to black women is just then . like...basically black women have NOTHING to learn from russian men.

I have a lot of really slick stuff I could say to you right now but I won't because I am a good person and I know you have lot going on right now.

god bless. I'll keep you in my prayers.

 

[barbiesocialite]

deuces.

Discuss *MY* opinions amongst yourselves.

 

[LaBelleLL]

I have a lot of really slick stuff I could say to you right nw but I won't because I am a good person and I know you have lot going on right now.

god bless. I'll keep you in my prayers.

it's ok. you don't have to pray for me. we just disagree on this topic. i don't need your prayers. but thanks for offering i suppose.

you sound so...hurt. i was kidding about being high. i don't really think you are high. it was a question in jest.

 

[vani]

what just happened???

 

[FemmeFatale]

The undertone of this thread is very telling and sad. Slavery did a number on us.

 

[LaBelleLL]

The undertone of this thread is very telling and sad. Slavery did a number on us.

Oh come on. It's going both ways. Really. People are twisting words to make invalid points about the opinions here. I certainly don't agree that men should hit women and I don't see many people (just save a few) that are saying otherwise. Idk why that keeps on being iterated.

If anythjng its "telling" to see how quickly black women deride other black women by creating phantom arguments.