Spin-off : If You Hit Your Boyfriend/husband

Kanky said:
The overwhelming majority of men do not hit women. Hitting a woman isn't normal or civilized behavior.
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This is true. including most males that are strangers caught in a woman's crossfire.

Ironically most women I know that have been hit or beaten by a man never laid hands on him. He hit first.
 
Ok so I asked dh about this.

"Dh?"
(in his chair watching the game) "mmm?"
"What would you do if I smacked you square in the face with a Walkman?"
(Turns around warily) "What? Is this a real life scenario?"
"Yeah, someone did it to a guy she was dating." (brief summary of this and other thread)
"I would leave the house. I would never hit you."
"Good to know. I would never smack you in the face with a Walkman either."
(Dh goes back to watching game)
 
DrC said:
Mortons so what did the mom do after your ex said that?
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Nothing. They live together this day and call themselves having a great relationship, like the Golden Girls. :look:

I made the right decision to be out of that bs situation with that extremely dysfunctional family.
 
barbiesocialite said:
It's sad so many women are used to being beaten or smacked around or have experienced this they think its normal. That's scary. It's their reality tho. Very sad and unfortnate. :nono:
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its very sad that women think bc they are women it gives them carte blanche to abuse their s/o
 
The whole hitting your SO because you are up set seems so childish. How about the woman walks away before she becomes physical rather than just hoping the man will walk away after she hits him.

I don't see why this is such an issue, is it normal for women to hit their SO because they are angry at them ? That seems like an unhealthy relationship anyway if you think you have the right to put your hands on your mate (male or female). This hasn't been my experience, I was always taught to use my words.
 
I realized I never answered the question.

-my current boyfriend no
-my ex boyfriend said no, but he suffers from PTSD
-my ex husband yes.

However I would not put my hands on them first.
 
Petal26 said:
I wouldn't hit him, but if I did, I KNOW he would hit me back. We had that talk a long time ago, and he thinks once you hit somebody you can't expect not to be hit back. Obviously we disagree, I think a man should never put his hands on a woman in anger.
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Thank you for your honesty.

My husband said he would not hit me but that would be the end of our marriage. I think he would walk away if I hit him once. If I was beating him and he couldn't get away I can't say what would happen. For the record, I have never hit my husband nor do I plan to.
 
The type of dude who would lay hands on you for any reason aint ****.

Whenever this topic comes up, I can't help but to think that the same chicks saying a dude is right for returning hands woulda been all up in The Color Purple advising Harpo to beat Sophia.

And I am unanimous in that.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
The type of dude who would lay hands on you for any reason aint ****. Whenever this topic comes up, I can't help but to think that the same chicks saying a dude is right for returning hands woulda been all up in The Color Purple advising Harpo to beat Sophia. And I am unanimous in that.
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Word. I can't believe the stuff I hear/read.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
The type of dude who would lay hands on you for any reason aint ****.

Whenever this topic comes up, I can't help but to think that the same chicks saying a dude is right for returning hands woulda been all up in The Color Purple advising Harpo to beat Sophia.

And I am unanimous in that.
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RIGHT ON THE MONEY.

ALL OF IT. :yep::yep::yep:


caoz1yX.gif
 
Y'all are too invested in this. I didn't read anyone excusing their abuse or saying that guys should hit back. :nono:
 
Mortons said:
We can never have a conversation here without all the extra bs and conjecture. No one said that women need to be hitting on men. I am willing to put money on the general belief being that no one needs to hit another person. Lawd.
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Right. No one hit anyone unless y'all are into slapping butts in the bedroom.
 
I asked my SO his thoughts on hitting women, self defense or not. He said it's a definite no, his family and anyone from his home country would kill him for that type of thing, and his culture treasures women.

Your men are there to protect you, not to be your punching bag, unless I suppose they enjoy S&M. So I still agree hands to self in general. But I do not think it warrants retaliation.

Somewhat OT some convo involving if it's ever right to hit a woman came up at work and my coworker said yes. I asked when and he replied if he came home and saw his wife trying to down his daughter in the bath tub, he'd punch the ish out of her. Couldn't even argue.
 
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FemmeFatale said:
That visceral reaction should tell you all that you need to know.

My problem is that some women are egging men on to react in an unproductive way that will do more harm than good. There has to be a hard line for men, PERIOD.
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this is EXACTLY what is going on. some women are ***encouraging*** for men to retaliate

in general it has been acknowledged it is WRONG to put your hands on a man. wrong wrong wronggggggg. HOWEVER, it is even more wrong for a man to put his hands on a woman. i refuse to believe most men cannot restrain most women. unless this woman has some weapon or is posing a real life threat, then yeah.....i don't see why restraint is soooooo apparently out of the question. :rolleyes:
 
drappedup said:
this is EXACTLY what is going on. some women are ***encouraging*** for men to retaliate in general it has been acknowledged it is WRONG to put your hands on a man. wrong wrong wronggggggg. HOWEVER, it is even more wrong for a man to put his hands on a woman. i refuse to believe most men cannot restrain most women. unless this woman has some weapon or is posing a real life threat, then yeah.....i don't see why restraint is soooooo apparently out of the question. :rolleyes:
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i don't see why you restraining yourself and not hitting is out of the question?
 
NOEChic said:
i don't see why you restraining yourself and not hitting is out of the question?
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Ummm.....never said it wasn't. I personally would never put my hands on anyone. I'm just not a violent type of person. However, what I'm saying is that men on average can do more damage, so yeah I expect them to only wield their physical strength when absolutely necessary in a confrontation...aka when in a dangerous scenario, IMO a woman slapping a man, while incredibly wrong and out of line, DOES NOT warrant a man striking a woman back. He is not in danger. She can be restrained. He should call the authorities and/or exit the situation and cease all dealings with that woman, period.

If a child hits me I am not going to hit back. I am bigger,stronger, and it is not a fair fight. This whole "he/she hit me first so I am going to hit back" mentality is kind of juvenile to me. I mean do people live their life like this? If someone steals your car are you going to steal something of that person's? I'm just saying, the "he/she hit me first" excuse sounds a lot sillier much of the time after the age of like.....five.
 
UmSumayyah said:
Ok so I asked dh about this.

"Dh?"
(in his chair watching the game) "mmm?"
"What would you do if I smacked you square in the face with a Walkman?"
(Turns around warily) "What? Is this a real life scenario?"
"Yeah, someone did it to a guy she was dating." (brief summary of this and other thread)
"I would leave the house. I would never hit you."
"Good to know. I would never smack you in the face with a Walkman either."
(Dh goes back to watching game)
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Yeah, I don't think even if I'd used a Walkman to slap my husband in the face :lol: that he'd have hit back. I can't see him hitting me in anger no matter what I did to him. He also doesn't yell when he's angry as I sometimes do. And he's from a strict, patriarchal culture. I don't think his father hits his mother either.

I remember him wondering where he would hit me :lol: ( if he were to hit me, I dont remember what brought that convo about lol) because he couldn't imagine a part of me he'd feel comfortable striking because he viewed me as so delicate :lol:. That's how men should view the idea of hitting women since we are the substantially weaker sex. It's akin to hitting a child in retaliation. Who would do that?
 
Arlana said:
Yeah, I don't think even if I'd used a Walkman to slap my husband in the face :lol: that he'd have hit back. I can't see him hitting me in anger no matter what I did to him. He also doesn't yell when he's angry as I sometimes do. And he's from a strict, patriarchal culture. I don't think his father hits his mother either.

I remember him wondering where he would hit me :lol: ( if he were to hit me, I dont remember what brought that convo about lol) because he couldn't imagine a part of me he'd feel comfortable striking because he viewed me as so delicate :lol:. That's how men should view the idea of hitting women since we are the substantially weaker sex. It's akin to hitting a child in retaliation. Who would do that?
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See he gets it.. it's like stomping on a bed of lovely hydrangeas!:lol:
 
Arlana said:
Yeah, I don't think even if I'd used a Walkman to slap my husband in the face :lol: that he'd have hit back. I can't see him hitting me in anger no matter what I did to him. He also doesn't yell when he's angry as I sometimes do. And he's from a strict, patriarchal culture. I don't think his father hits his mother either. I remember him wondering where he would hit me :lol: ( if he were to hit me, I dont remember what brought that convo about lol) because he couldn't imagine a part of me he'd feel comfortable striking because he viewed me as so delicate :lol:. That's how men should view the idea of hitting women since we are the substantially weaker sex. It's akin to hitting a child in retaliation. Who would do that?
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Did you really just ask who would hit a child? On this site? Lol you know this place is team #beatkids, but seriously that's a very good point.
 
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I don't think he would hit me unless I had a serious weapon like a knife, iron, something that could do real damage and came coming for him with it. That's legit. He's a man and stronger than me, but he's not Captain America. So I expect him to show physical restraint, but I don't think he could disarm me without injury to himself. So I would not be surprised if he hit me in that particular situation. But just my hands? No, I don't think so.

Neither of us have ever hit each other or even yelled at the other, so I'm not sure what would have to happen to make a situation like that come up, though.
 
drappedup said:
Ummm.....never said it wasn't. I personally would never put my hands on anyone. I'm just not a violent type of person. However, what I'm saying is that men on average can do more damage, so yeah I expect them to only wield their physical strength when absolutely necessary in a confrontation...aka when in a dangerous scenario, IMO a woman slapping a man, while incredibly wrong and out of line, DOES NOT warrant a man striking a woman back. He is not in danger. She can be restrained. He should call the authorities and/or exit the situation and cease all dealings with that woman, period. If a child hits me I am not going to hit back. I am bigger,stronger, and it is not a fair fight. This whole "he/she hit me first so I am going to hit back" mentality is kind of juvenile to me. I mean do people live their life like this? If someone steals your car are you going to steal something of that person's? I'm just saying, the "he/she hit me first" excuse sounds a lot sillier much of the time after the age of like.....five.
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its called self defense and it is legal on the eyes of the law.
 
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