♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Jazzmommy said:
Single mom feeling blue..I broke my rule and dated a guy i met online who was never married and close to 40. He rushed me into a relationship .Over my bday weekend.. last week i discovered he was cheating. These never married guys have way too much practice running games. I feel so stupid and vulnerable like my picker is off.. He was even talking about wanting to meet my DD.. glad it happened before that. I'm venting.. so hard.. you meet a guy who accepts you as a single mom and then they turn out to be players.. :-(
Click to expand...

Something I heard on a radio show hit me like a ton of bricks. The male to female ratio is so skewed that bum a** dudes think they can get away with running games.
Be thankful you didn't waste a whole lot of time on him. You probably dodged a huge bullet. :bighug:
 
crlsweetie912 said:
Something I heard on a radio show hit me like a ton of bricks. The male to female ratio is so skewed that bum a** dudes think they can get away with running games.
Be thankful you didn't waste a whole lot of time on him. You probably dodged a huge bullet. :bighug:
Click to expand...

Yes, think I'mma try swirling.. enlarges dating pool. :-)
 
I went on that school trip today. I had a great time despite the awful weather. Each adult had 4 kids. I called my group Bublin's Babies (well, used my own name of course) - my dd was in my group. My dd is used to me calling her a baby. The other 3 were like, huh but they soon loved it and were telling the kids the name I gave to the group. Turned out all the kids wanted to be in my group lol.
I'm a very playful person and the kids flocked me like I was the Pied Piper.
Had to give one little girl in another group half my packed lunch as her parents didn't provide for her properly. Another mum leant this same girl her wooly hat as she was wearing a thin coat with no hood.
My Babies were well looked after, if not pampered as I was sneaking them snacks (grapes/breadsticks) on the train back home despite the fact we were given instructions they weren't allowed food on the journey to and from. Nah, it was an hr and a half each way, my Babies had to eat!!!
 
Last edited:
Bublin that sounded fun. I remember those days. Once hs years come field trips are basically over.

We got snow yesterday so I stayed home didn't want too drive on icy roads. I will be going back to work tomorrow. I doubt kids will go to school though. It was a nice relaxing day, going to do laundry this evening.and write up my homework.
 
On the trying to look good topic - I fully relaxed my hair about a month ago. Now every day I look slick with miminal effort. Ain't got time for hrs of natural hair care to only look good for 1 day out of the week (this is me and my hair type, I know not everyone suffers from thin, fuzzy hairitis like I do).

eta I need to buy some knickers, like, tomorrow. I have maybe one pair that could be considered decent :look::lachen: It's now emergency status!
Up until very recently nobody was going anywhere near that region - so why waste money? :drunk:
 
Last edited:
If the money is tight, why bother with the knickers at all? :giggle:

Commando Chicks stay winning!

____________
*.~.*Sent from a distant Galaxy in the Unicorn-verse*.~.*
 
Jazzymommy I'm so sorry this happened to you

Jazzmommy said:
Single mom feeling blue..I broke my rule and dated a guy i met online who was never married and close to 40. He rushed me into a relationship .Over my bday weekend.. last week i discovered he was cheating. These never married guys have way too much practice running games. I feel so stupid and vulnerable like my picker is off.. He was even talking about wanting to meet my DD.. glad it happened before that. I'm venting.. so hard.. you meet a guy who accepts you as a single mom and then they turn out to be players.. :-(
Click to expand...
 
Bublin said:
I went on that school trip today. I had a great time despite the awful weather. Each adult had 4 kids. I called my group Bublin's Babies (well, used my own name of course) - my dd was in my group. My dd is used to me calling her a baby. The other 3 were like, huh but they soon loved it and were telling the kids the name I gave to the group. Turned out all the kids wanted to be in my group lol. I'm a very playful person and the kids flocked me like I was the Pied Piper. Had to give one little girl in another group half my packed lunch as her parents didn't provide for her properly. Another mum leant this same girl her wooly hat as she was wearing a thin coat with no hood. My Babies were well looked after, if not pampered as I was sneaking them snacks (grapes/breadsticks) on the train back home despite the fact we were given instructions they weren't allowed food on the journey to and from. Nah, it was an hr and a half each way, my Babies had to eat!!!
Click to expand...

You sound like my Mom. I miss her.
 
Hello :wave:

Single mom checking in!

I have a DD who's 8 (9 in May!) I recently ended a 4 year LTR, which has taken a big emotional toll. My SO was/is very insecure and emotionally abusive which tore me up inside. I started dating him when DD was 3 almost 4 so, a major reason why I stayed was to keep the consistency in her life (Sorry the logic made sense at the time!). She's an amazing child who's well behaved, gets good grades, and is a bit clingy :). Her father is involved, but cites his job keeping him from doing more than bare minimum. This is a stressor because I'm slowly assuming the care my parents have been doing for us, and he's defiant to help(gymnastics and swim lessons ect.) He's gotten very hostile and edgy lately, namely when I was out east with SO... I ignore it. Depression is rearing it's ugly head... I never thought I'd be single this long, I desire another baby and this just feels so far off. I know us moms take things so personal, I feel like such a failure!

OTOH

I have an amazing support system, I live with mom and dad (Saving for our condo). I have a career that pays well, although it's emotionally and physically draining at times. I'm finishing school (trying to knock masters out before 30!) and trying to gain my footing. I'm 28 and a part of me feels I've wasted too much time... I've spent the last two weeks emotionally drowning when I'm alone... I just feel in this rut. Ugh!

I want to date and enjoy company again, yet I want to retreat in my shell and just not think about it. DD is at that age where she's putting 2 and 2 together, and I feel like I need to get my siht in order!

Sorry for the ramblings. I've read the thread in its entirety and truly commiserate with you ladies. Grateful for a place on LHCF for "us" where it's not "our fault"... you know what I mean.... Lol :look:

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Simply_elle let me see, single mom, with a career, pursuing her Masters and saving for a condo???? You definitely are not a failure!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself! You said that you ended your relationship recently so, give yourself time to heal. Work on yourself, it will get better!
 
Simply_elle welcome! We will hear none of that negative nellie clap trap out your mouth :spank:

You are doing great, setting up an excellent future for you and your DD AND you have a great support system to boot. Sounds like she is doing well despite all these things you think are going wrong. The proof is in how SHE is fairing...

The men...well.. that is rough and we've all been there one time or another. We have zero control over them and their actions. All we can do is move ahead positively for us and out children.

Keep posting. We're all here to help!

:grouphug:
 
Smiley79 said:
Welcome Simply_elle!!!! You're not rambling at all, this has really been a helpful thread indeed.
Click to expand...


Smiley79

Thank you :) I read the whole thread... And it's very reassuring to know I'm not alone...

All4Tris said:
Simply_elle let me see, single mom, with a career, pursuing her Masters and saving for a condo???? You definitely are not a failure!!!! Don't be so hard on yourself! You said that you ended your relationship recently so, give yourself time to heal. Work on yourself, it will get better!
Click to expand...

All4Tris

:lol: On paper I sound so whiny! I truly appreciate the kind words, now I can see how "career women" have it all and still long for a husband and kids. This is definitely a healing process, I've been Lane's mama or K's SO so long I don't know who I am anymore. It's really bad because I didn't realize the facade was so thick until my mom and I had a candid talk about everything and she :sad:... And it's like nothing surprises my mom! I've kept it in too long. I want to be a loving, passionate, and kind partner like I was for K and I refuse to let him ruin me for someone else. (hope that makes sense) Lol.

Ironically I think being a single mom has given me a bond with DD I'll always cherish. I had her to myself the first year... And I hear my friends bicker about maintaing SO/DH, and she was my little buddy! Someone mentioned traveling alone with child... She and I have flown all over. We're hitting up DC this spring break....

DarkJoy said:
Simply_elle welcome! We will hear none of that negative nellie clap trap out your mouth :spank:

You are doing great, setting up an excellent future for you and your DD AND you have a great support system to boot. Sounds like she is doing well despite all these things you think are going wrong. The proof is in how SHE is fairing...

The men...well.. that is rough and we've all been there one time or another. We have zero control over them and their actions. All we can do is move ahead positively for us and out children.

Keep posting. We're all here to help!

:grouphug:
Click to expand...

DarkJoy


Thanks! Looking at it that way... She's a amazing barometer of the time, energy, and effort spent (love that girl!). The main theme I'm noticing is what to do with ourselves, once our baby birds fly away and don't need mommy :sad:

I look forward to posting... Apologies in advance if I'm taking in more than I'm giving. This is two years overdue... And very hard to come to terms with.


Anyway I'll share :)

DD and I wee in Dillard's... I was letting her smell the tween perfumes (Taylor Swift ect) and she saw a bottle which, without the cap was pretty nondescript. She smells it and says "That's Justin Bieber" I asked "Do you like it?" She :nono: and said "NO! I do NOT want to smell like prisoners!" :lachen::lol::lachen:

She iMessages me good night every night I work :love:

Love that girl....
 
Simply_elle Welcome!!! Sounds like you are on the right path. We as mothers always have a guilt about something, but I have learned to just internally roll my eyes at the guilt.
 
Tuesday, I met with my ds counselor and the school psychologist bc he was showing signs of ADD again, well he is really anxious. The psychologist gave me some tips to help him ground and balance himself. I am also going to meet with his teachers to help with assignments. Also he is on pace to graduate which I am so at ease about. If he passes this semester he walks. I had doubt but knows he will do it. His procrastination is hurting his grades.

He found a junior college he is going to apply to so if you ladies could pray and send positive energy out for him I would appreciate it.

My junior is trying to take summer classes so her senior year course load will be light. I am grateful my youngest is only a freshman bc I am going to need a reprieve with these two back to back grads.

Sorry for being long winded
 
I am a single mom to a 7, almost 8yo daughter. She is homeschooled and has like 8 million extracurricular activities.

I fit a subgroup of single moms that I have labeled "The Overcompensators" :look: I am tired :)
 
3jsmom said:
Tuesday, I met with my ds counselor and the school psychologist bc he was showing signs of ADD again, well he is really anxious. The psychologist gave me some tips to help him ground and balance himself. I am also going to meet with his teachers to help with assignments. Also he is on pace to graduate which I am so at ease about. If he passes this semester he walks. I had doubt but knows he will do it. His procrastination is hurting his grades. He found a junior college he is going to apply to so if you ladies could pray and send positive energy out for him I would appreciate it. My junior is trying to take summer classes so her senior year course load will be light. I am grateful my youngest is only a freshman bc I am going to need a reprieve with these two back to back grads. Sorry for being long winded
Click to expand...

That's awesome! I'm excited for your DS, this is a very turbulent time to be a young black male. I pray to give your DS clarity, and confidence to be successful.


...Also to give him a head start look into CLEP examinations for college credit. They're $100 a test and accepted at most schools. They are administered by the same people who do the SAT, and very legit.... Academias best kept secret. It takes some pressure off the prerequisites. He will have these classes under his belt, ready to tackle the core classes and less likely to become discouraged by bullshart classes. Oh and cuts tuition drastically! Get DD in there too or have her take some classes at a college with all her free time her senior year. Some high schools accept it and encourage it, and some don't charge... She can do CLEP too! Lol... These are just the things I wish someone had told me ;)



http://clep.collegeboard.org/exam

My thoughts for tonight(this AM for the UK mamas!): NO one gets to doubt me or my child out loud. People throw jabs like girl... I'd never thought you'd make it on this unit... Or your DD didn't look tough.. Ect. It's residual effects are toxic and I or DD don't need that. Anyone caught doing it near us is getting their feelings hurt! :yep:

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
Yup as a mommy of one I do find it challenging. You wouldn't believe how many times she tells me how much she wishes that she had a sibling and she told me that she prays God everyday that it would happen in either 2014 or 2015. Did I mention she is only 14 and is so specific with this request,.lollll. I appreciate my LoveBug's honesty though. :-)
 
I have to entertain my girls, my boy isn't as needy as the girls. My youngest is the worst, she is connected to me as soon as I get home from work. I don't mind bc they usually have activities to do so it is nice to bond.
 
Thanks SimplyElle

I feel you on outsiders doubting my children. It is more my insecurities than others. I have been fighting the teen mom stigma and I refuse to let others box me in. That is also why I want to help other young parents know this as well.
 
3jsmom said:
I have to entertain my girls, my boy isn't as needy as the girls. My youngest is the worst, she is connected to me as soon as I get home from work. I don't mind bc they usually have activities to do so it is nice to bond.
Click to expand...

Well I think it's a thing with the youngest. He stays at my hip. But he's the same way with his dad so maybe he's just clingy overall. Now my oldest, all I get is a grunt and a "yeah". But let something go down and they are about to fight.
The other day I had a super rough day and my SO came over briefly after work to encourage me. I broke down crying. The boys thought he had done something to me and were about to break bad. I had to talk them down. It was hilarious!!!!!!
 
Last edited:
crlsweetie912 said:
Well I think it's a thing with the youngest. He stays at my hip. But he's the same way with his dad so maybe he's just clingy overall. Now my oldest, all I get is a grunt and a "yeah". But let something go down and they are about to fight.
The other day I had a super rough day and my SO came over briefly after work to encourage me. I broke down crying. The boys thought he had done something to me and we about to break bad. I had to talk them down. It was hilarious!!!!!!
Click to expand...

Lol, girl boys are a mess. My ds don't play either. He has threaten my girls bfs all the time. He doesn't want me dating at all.
 
Simply_elle said:
I feel like my one is killing me, more that some peoples 2 and three! :lol:

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
Click to expand...

I totally disagree. It is a big relief when I have one child to deal with. It is so quiet and easy going. When they are all together, I want to run and hide in the closet. Way too much energy going on.
 
Simply_elle said:
Hello :wave:

Single mom checking in!

I have a DD who's 8 (9 in May!) I recently ended a 4 year LTR, which has taken a big emotional toll. My SO was/is very insecure and emotionally abusive which tore me up inside. I started dating him when DD was 3 almost 4 so, a major reason why I stayed was to keep the consistency in her life (Sorry the logic made sense at the time!). She's an amazing child who's well behaved, gets good grades, and is a bit clingy :). Her father is involved, but cites his job keeping him from doing more than bare minimum. This is a stressor because I'm slowly assuming the care my parents have been doing for us, and he's defiant to help(gymnastics and swim lessons ect.) He's gotten very hostile and edgy lately, namely when I was out east with SO... I ignore it. Depression is rearing it's ugly head... I never thought I'd be single this long, I desire another baby and this just feels so far off. I know us moms take things so personal, I feel like such a failure!

OTOH

I have an amazing support system, I live with mom and dad (Saving for our condo). I have a career that pays well, although it's emotionally and physically draining at times. I'm finishing school (trying to knock masters out before 30!) and trying to gain my footing. I'm 28 and a part of me feels I've wasted too much time... I've spent the last two weeks emotionally drowning when I'm alone... I just feel in this rut. Ugh!

I want to date and enjoy company again, yet I want to retreat in my shell and just not think about it. DD is at that age where she's putting 2 and 2 together, and I feel like I need to get my siht in order!

Sorry for the ramblings. I've read the thread in its entirety and truly commiserate with you ladies. Grateful for a place on LHCF for "us" where it's not "our fault"... you know what I mean.... Lol :look:

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
Click to expand...

You are doing so well! And I pray for healing of your heart. Just give it time.
 
This will be a smooth, positive divorce.
This will be a smooth, positive divorce.
This will be a smooth, positive divorce...:perplexed

I expect a few scrapes and bruises but I pray that God will keep that man's selfishness in check.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

I
SINGLE and FAT at the SAME TIME!
2
Replies
36
Views
2K
sky_blu
sky_blu
X
Is it okay to ask to meet the other woman?
Replies
8
Views
197
Xavier
X
crimsonpeach
First Year Of Marriage Support Thread
2
Replies
40
Views
2K
summertimewine
summertimewine
ClassyJSP
Single Mom
2
Replies
41
Views
1K
Kimbosheart
Kimbosheart
JustKiya
Yes, It's Another 'single Black Woman' Thread.....
6 7 8
Replies
232
Views
5K
sunshinebeautiful
sunshinebeautiful
Back
Top