♥~♥ SINGLE MOTHERS SUPPORT THREAD! ♥~♥

Smiley79 said:
Yup as a mommy of one I do find it challenging. You wouldn't believe how many times she tells me how much she wishes that she had a sibling and she told me that she prays God everyday that it would happen in either 2014 or 2015. Did I mention she is only 14 and is so specific with this request,.lollll. I appreciate my LoveBug's honesty though. :-)
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For some reason, my dd has never said one thing about being an only child, nor ever asked for a sibling. She seems to be perfectly fine being an only child.I'm thankful for this as I was worried she would long for a sibling and it would hurt my heart that I wasn't able to give her one.
 
Mine is always asking for a sib. I just :rolleyes: Mom's 40. Mom aint poppin out anymore offspring. However, she may get a sib via fostering to adopt when I am debt free.

As far as her being an only, I've really done my best to compensate for that. We got lucky when we moved here and she has 2 same age friends on the same block. They're here all the time. Like ALLLLLLLLL the time. So she is rarely alone

She loves to pester me, though, cuz she's a mama's girl and rarely leaves my side otherwise. Since birth, she was this way--never allowed anyone including her father to hold her, etc. As an introvert, I've made my peace with this constant companionship and look forward (despite the twinge of guilt) to her daddy's days. :lol:
 
MzSwift

My 7 yr old daughter does want me to have a boyfriend though.:ohwell:

I found this out after she told one of her friend's mom this at a sleepover. The mom said they were looking up at stars and that is what she wished for me. I was feeling some kind of way about it at first, almost embarrassed that she would say that to someone. Started wondering what I am doing wrong; Do I not come across happy to her (b/c I am)? Do I come across lonely for a man (I'm not)? I was taken aback.

After a bit though, I saw that it was coming from a sweet, honest and surprisingly mature place. She wants to see mommy with a nice man and that is a natural thing. Funny, she still seems boys as gross and yuck, but at the same time wants to see mommy with a boyfriend.

Mandatory positive - I guess that's a nice thing to know for whenever the day comes that I get in a real relationship with someone and start to bring him around.
 
My daughter goes back and forth about wanting a sibling, but she is adamant about me finding a man. She even gave me a list of what "we" want. He should have money, not have children or if he does not abandon them for me, be kind, have a big house, and be elegant. That's her list :lol:
 
Thank God DS isn't pressed for a sibling! He isn't interested in mommy getting married either. He does want a dog and he reminds me quite often.
 
InsertCleverNameHere said:
My daughter goes back and forth about wanting a sibling, but she is adamant about me finding a man. She even gave me a list of what "we" want. He should have money, not have children or if he does not abandon them for me, be kind, have a big house, and be elegant. That's her list :lol:
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That's cute!:grin:
 
Mostly, I just want to show my daughter what a healthy relationship looks like. She's never seen her mother happy in that way. If I cant find that, how can I show her by example that its possible for her?

Matter of fact, she has 3 generations of UNhappily married/divorced people on both sides. On her dad's side absolutely ZERO have remarried. ZERO. Neither have my parents.

*sigh*

In saying that, I really am going to do the slow fade on my current man. I dont think he is for us. :ohwell:
 
DarkJoy oh no!!! But, you have to do what's best for you and DD!!!

OAN: Lately, I've been having and issue with DS talking back/getting smart and my level of patience with him! He is one stubborn 5 y.o.
 
Thanks @All4Tris

People talk about the Terrible Twos? Ha! I'm finding it really hits the fan between 4 and 6. They are really trying to exert their independence at that age.

Just stay strong. Be consistent in giving a consequence to their action in situations you know he might act out before he acts out (BEFORE is key!). For example, if I thought DD was going to show out at the store, before we walked in I'd say, "You do this, that will happen." She tested me once. Never again. And really, she hasnt tested me since. Didn't even raise a hand to her, just walked out the store leaving the shopping cart right there AND took away all priviledges for the rest of the day as promised. She was devastated. :lol: No Wii or TV AND no fun shopping excursion PLUS a pissed off mom all day?!?! She would have preferred I whooped her behind, I'm sure :lol:

Doing it the same way all the time, keeping it consistent is the key. :yep:
 
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DarkJoy said:
Mostly, I just want to show my daughter what a healthy relationship looks like. She's never seen her mother happy in that way. If I cant find that, how can I show her by example that its possible for her?

Matter of fact, she has 3 generations of UNhappily married/divorced people on both sides. On her dad's side absolutely ZERO have remarried. ZERO. Neither have my parents.

*sigh*

In saying that, I really am going to do the slow fade on my current man. I dont think he is for us. :ohwell:
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Wth!!!!!!!!! Awww man! I'm sorry to hear that.
I know what you mean about unhealthy examples. I have zero as well. My boys never saw me happy in a relationship. With my last real relationship before Mr. it was so dysfunctional. My son was six months old when I caught him cheating on me (his phone dialed me and he didn't know it)
Now they see me smiling and truly happy. It was an adjustment for them. My middle son broke down one day and said mamma you love him now does that mean you don't love us anymore (he has special needs and is 15)
It broke my heart. But I had to reassure him, he wasn't taking me from them, but it was one more person that loves them just as much as I do.
 
Tonight is one of those weekends where I'm off and DD is with her family, it's really lonely :( I'm on a night shift sleep schedule...


Her dad sends her aunt to pick her up, which really annoys me. He was too familiar during text updates, so I told him let's talk about the kid only. He doesn't ask about her schooling or activities.... Ugh. I hate the passive aggressive BS!

Tonight was one of "Those evenings" where you know you'll be lonely and missing folks... Sure enough a guy I've been on and off with text me "I'm flying... But will be in at 12:00... Would love to see you!" Yeah. No. Put my head scarf on for emotional reinforcement, and hunkered down in bed... :lol:

My Jamaican friend in his cute Jamerican accent said "Only crabs walk backwards". So true, and it's time for me to put these men away and move on! I think I might go out tomorrow...

Does anyone here ever go out alone? I really don't want to be bothered with anyone yet I want to get out... I truly see how people get "trapped" in relationships. Usually on these weekends I'd fly to NYC to be with SO...

My past weekends were spent in Brooklyn and NJ, I feel like I don't know what to do with myself. I partied only with him, really only went to dinner with him... In Ohio was family time only. *sigh* I admit I miss the company. This s*it can really stop hurting any moment now... Sorry mommy is in her feelings tonight...

Hope everyone is doing well with the LO's!

Sent from my iPad using LHCF
 
I need to go over my household budget again. I feel like I'm saving peanuts every month. I want to take the kids on holiday, save for a new car, fund household repairs.......feel like I'm treading water. Wish I could chuck £300 a month away into my savings.

I'm changing my focus away from men/dating to finances.:look:
 
Bublin said:
I need to go over my household budget again. I feel like I'm saving peanuts every month. I want to take the kids on holiday, save for a new car, fund household repairs.......feel like I'm treading water. Wish I could chuck £300 a month away into my savings.

I'm changing my focus away from men/dating to finances.:look:
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I know what you mean. It's super hard for me. I literally get no support. I've gotten more and more work consistently and no raise since 2007. A few months ago when one of my coworkers moved to another agency i got his work and didn't even get an interview for his position. I looked at my W-2 this year and cried. If i told yall what I lived on this year to support a family of four you would too. Nothing but the grace of God (and my SO who is a blessing) got me through this year.
My sons father pulled back on his support when he found out I was seriously dating, and that really messed us up financially.
But I keep telling myself that it won't always be this tight.
 
crlsweetie912 said:
I know what you mean. It's super hard for me. I literally get no support. I've gotten more and more work consistently and no raise since 2007. A few months ago when one of my coworkers moved to another agency i got his work and didn't even get an interview for his position. I looked at my W-2 this year and cried. If i told yall what I lived on this year to support a family of four you would too. Nothing but the grace of God (and my SO who is a blessing) got me through this year.
My sons father pulled back on his support when he found out I was seriously dating, and that really messed us up financially.
But I keep telling myself that it won't always be this tight.
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I'm sorry things have been so tight and work load has increased - very depressing. Your ex's behaviour is very typical and pathetic. You are getting through it though so credit to you.

My work and wages are good but I have too many outgoings. The biggest one is what my parents demand that I give for 'maintainence' for my son who is abroad with them right now, plus I pay for his private schooling, clothes etc. That alone is another mortgage payment. My life is stagnant whilst he stays there, not just financially but I want us to be a family again and go on hols. Struggling to pay for dd's gym lessons because of my parents demands. I guess they forget I have 2 kids. He is back with me this July (my parents are fighting me to keep him :nono:) but I still have to save for both his flight and my mum's which is a whopping £1800. Just to get on a blinking plane. My parents refuse to pay for mum's flight.

My savings goals really do have to put on hold until ds gets back.

You are right.......it will get better.
 
Bublin said:
I'm sorry things have been so tight and work load has increased - very depressing. Your ex's behaviour is very typical and pathetic. You are getting through it though so credit to you.

My work and wages are good but I have too many outgoings. The biggest one is what my parents demand that I give for 'maintainence' for my son who is abroad with them right now, plus I pay for his private schooling, clothes etc. That alone is another mortgage payment. My life is stagnant whilst he stays there, not just financially but I want us to be a family again and go on hols. Struggling to pay for dd's gym lessons because of my parents demands. I guess they forget I have 2 kids. He is back with me this July (my parents are fighting me to keep him :nono:) but I still have to save for both his flight and my mum's which is a whopping £1800. Just to get on a blinking plane. My parents refuse to pay for mum's flight.

My savings goals really do have to put on hold until ds gets back.

You are right.......it will get better.
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Wow!!!!!!! That is a lot. But just remember you are working toward your son being back home. And it will be worth it in the end.
 
You know, I've had so much on my plate for so long, that what I am doing has become the norm. I don't realise how much I'm shelling out and the stress I'm under until someone on the outside says, 'wow that's alot!'
God made alot of us strong, real strong.
 
Bublin said:
You know, I've had so much on my plate for so long, that what I am doing has become the norm. I don't realise how much I'm shelling out and the stress I'm under until someone on the outside says, 'wow that's alot!'
God made alot of us strong, real strong.
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Somebody once told me God gives His toughest battles to His strongest soldiers!!!!!!
 
crlsweetie912 said:
My son was six months old when I caught him cheating on me (his phone dialed me and he didn't know it)
Now they see me smiling and truly happy.
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Wow crlsweetie912. That is some awful mess to find out and a worse way to find out. :nono: So glad you found a good one and that your boys are adjusting.

Sorry you are going through so much with your son Bublin and the finances too. You parents have gotten quite possessive of him it seems :ohwell:. You will be reunited with him, though. You ARE strong and he will be so happy to see you again.

The finances...ugh... do they ever get right? I was just going over mine this morning, just about to stress even before my morning coffee and said screw it. It is what it is *shrug*

OAN: I think I'm a bit depressed. It's my weekend with DD and I will do the best of it with no spendable cash. Hopefully one of my 2 other side hustles will kick in soon.
 
DarkJoy it's horrid when you have a little one with no spare cash. The weather is too crap to go to the park. Today I made Rice Crispie chocolate cake thingys with dd and then she helped make a cheese and ham wrap. It was a reciepe from a McDs happy meal and she was excited to make it. She ate it all too.

Then we have to contend with all those adverts and her constantly begging for every toy!

I hope those side hustles come through. I've been attacking ebay and selling unwanted clothes and other bits and pieces. I needed to clear out the spare room so instead of throwing stuff out, Im selling.
 
Sounds like you made the best of your day with DD regardless of the poor weather. You also have a great idea with ebay! IDK what I was thinking. Just took 3 huge bags of old clothes to the charity. Maybe next time selling a set of used clothes might be better.. We've got a great selection of Easter, Christmas, and summer sun dresses....hmmm.. :scratchchin:

You've given some great ideas. Thanks @Bublin! :yep:

PS, The adverts are terrible. Mine just started with asking for everything. It's a new development.
 
Nah everything gets listed on ebay...even if it goes for 99p. The stuff that doesn't sell goes into bags that i take to a Cash For Clothes place. Large items - like an old wardrobe that would have been hassle to remove, I advertised on Gumtree (your Craigslist). Someone paid me £20 to take it!
Charity begins at home.

I buy what I can online as most sites are now partnered with cashback sites - Quidco and TopCashBack.
 
Bublin said:
DarkJoy it's horrid when you have a little one with no spare cash. The weather is too crap to go to the park. Today I made Rice Crispie chocolate cake thingys with dd and then she helped make a cheese and ham wrap. It was a reciepe from a McDs happy meal and she was excited to make it. She ate it all too.

Then we have to contend with all those adverts and her constantly begging for every toy!

I hope those side hustles come through. I've been attacking ebay and selling unwanted clothes and other bits and pieces. I needed to clear out the spare room so instead of throwing stuff out, Im selling.
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I haven't done anything with these, except telling them to be quiet. We will be making playdoh today. They better not get that mess on the carpet...

Have you ladies ever got unwanted advice about your child or your parenting skills? I have this bad with a friend of mine and I want to stop it. Plus, I don't like when it is done to me.
 
crlsweetie912 What do you mean he pulled back his support? Isn't his child support court ordered?

crlsweetie912 said:
I know what you mean. It's super hard for me. I literally get no support. I've gotten more and more work consistently and no raise since 2007. A few months ago when one of my coworkers moved to another agency i got his work and didn't even get an interview for his position. I looked at my W-2 this year and cried. If i told yall what I lived on this year to support a family of four you would too. Nothing but the grace of God (and my SO who is a blessing) got me through this year.
My sons father pulled back on his support when he found out I was seriously dating, and that really messed us up financially.
But I keep telling myself that it won't always be this tight.
Click to expand...
 
Wow! I have had a low income year. My parents were ill and I was out of work. I am sure that I did not earn $3,000 this year. My cash flow was nil and we lived on food stamps and my son's social security. We got by. I am not trying to complain. The light company put me on a low income plan associated with United Way. I have not talked with my son's father since Christmas Day of 2003. I am glad about it. He still owes me $14,000. I am planning on getting that money whenever he retires....It is not a lot of money but I figure that I have it coming. I pretty much annihilated my stash in 2013 and now I am slowly building it up again. God is good. We have managed to keep going. Love yall!!:yep:
 
sunnydaze said:
@MzSwift

My 7 yr old daughter does want me to have a boyfriend though.:ohwell:

I found this out after she told one of her friend's mom this at a sleepover. The mom said they were looking up at stars and that is what she wished for me. I was feeling some kind of way about it at first, almost embarrassed that she would say that to someone. Started wondering what I am doing wrong; Do I not come across happy to her (b/c I am)? Do I come across lonely for a man (I'm not)? I was taken aback.

After a bit though, I saw that it was coming from a sweet, honest and surprisingly mature place. She wants to see mommy with a nice man and that is a natural thing. Funny, she still seems boys as gross and yuck, but at the same time wants to see mommy with a boyfriend.

Mandatory positive - I guess that's a nice thing to know for whenever the day comes that I get in a real relationship with someone and start to bring him around.
Click to expand...

This is sweet. Your daughter wants you to have a companion.
 
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