***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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When I gave you my number I said, "Call me." So why do you think that your three word text is going to get a response? Dialing my number isn't that hard.
 
Why did I get on his FB knowing after I let him add one of his exes only after saying i didn't care whether he did or not? I honestly think its b/c I wanted to kno wat she looked lik & now I feel like a grade A dummy. The girl is friggin gorgeous. He got upset when I said idk how he could go from that 2 me. Thinks I need stop comparing myself to his exes & keeps tellin me im beautiful blah blah blah. I should b happy rite? Then y do I still feel so sh!tty? She has a son & one on the way & the baby daddy is in jail for the next 7-10 yrs....I'm pretty sure I win by default right? But this isnt some game. I kno hes right but its easier said then done. Being bipolar does NOT help in the "maintaining a strong sense of self" department.:wallbash:
 
if he goes more than a day without emailing me back i freak out and think he's dead. this is going to be a stressful 30 days :( i miss him so much.
 
I know I said I wasn't gonna bothering trying to find out what the problem is with ole boy, but I'm a fan of clarity and closure.

I sent him a text basically saying that we clearly don't have the same vibe we had prior to going out, we haven't discussed going out again, etc, and that it seems to me that he's not into me anymore, but at any point does he plan to be honest with me about it. I sent this text around 8:30 last night. He never responded. I've deleted his number.

I'm glad that I didn't waste a whole lot of my time and develop any strong feelings for him but I'd be lying if I said I'm not extremely disappointed and a little hurt. I have NO idea what happened. None. And it's really bothering me. So I think I'm done with trying to date, because this is the type of ish that's gonna make me bitter and hateful towards men and I swore that I would never become that woman.
 
MzLady78 said:
I have NO idea what happened. None. And it's really bothering me.
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You probably don't want to hear this right now, but here's what happened.

Nothing.

I've learned to take absolutely nothing from initial chemistry and a good first date. I have no idea what is going through these men's heads when they meet me and hang out with me, and therefore, I have no expectations when we finally go out.

He could have told me it was the best date he ever had, but unless he calls me again for another one, all that means nothing.


That's all a part of dating today. I can totally understand being hurt, frustrated and disappointed -- shoot, I've been plenty of times -- but in the beginning, these men owe me nothing.

They can decide they're not interested in me after one date and I can do the same. I certainly have brushed off a man or two after one date with no explanation, no returned phone call and no text.

All that being said, I think this guy did the right thing really by not leading you on and making you expect more. It sucks when you have high hopes, but it's better for him to disappear now instead of stick around and lead you on.

It just is what it is...
 
Bunny77 said:
You probably don't want to hear this right now, but here's what happened.

Nothing.

I've learned to take absolutely nothing from initial chemistry and a good first date. I have no idea what is going through these men's heads when they meet me and hang out with me, and therefore, I have no expectations when we finally go out.

He could have told me it was the best date he ever had, but unless he calls me again for another one, all that means nothing.


That's all a part of dating today. I can totally understand being hurt, frustrated and disappointed -- shoot, I've been plenty of times -- but in the beginning, these men owe me nothing.

They can decide they're not interested in me after one date and I can do the same. I certainly have brushed off a man or two after one date with no explanation, no returned phone call and no text.

All that being said, I think this guy did the right thing really by not leading you on and making you expect more. It sucks when you have high hopes, but it's better for him to disappear now instead of stick around and lead you on.

It just is what it is...
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Ok, this is all well and fine but don't sit there and ask me if I wanna see again if you know that's not what you want. Don't sit there and say "we'll have to do it again soon" if that's not what you want. He's the one texting me every morning, not the other way around. If he had decided after we went out that he wasn't really feeling me as much as he thought, I've given him ample opportunity to be honest with me about it. But hey, maybe his lack of response to my last text is his effed up way of finally saying he's not interested.

In either case, I'm all set with all of them and their bull****.
 
Wow, now you want to make a comeback? And you seem so happy that I'm just speaking to you again. But little do you know, we aint going any further than the phone and even that will be limited. You screwed up any chance of us getting close again....Something is definitely wrong with the way you think. You flip on me completely for no reason, THEN act like nothing happen. You seriously have a DSM diagnosis...Get help.

Plus I have moved on....cant wait for Sunday.
 
MzLady78 said:
Ok, this is all well and fine but don't sit there and ask me if I wanna see again if you know that's not what you want. Don't sit there and say "we'll have to do it again soon" if that's not what you want. He's the one texting me every morning, not the other way around. If he had decided after we went out that he wasn't really feeling me as much as he thought, I've given him ample opportunity to be honest with me about it. But hey, maybe his lack of response to my last text is his effed up way of finally saying he's not interested.

In either case, I'm all set with all of them and their bull****.
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I agree with Bunny....I always do, LOL. But like she said nothing happened. And men aren't going to usually be straight with you. When I get the generic "we'll have to do it again soon", that's code for, "If I absolutely have nothing else to do, even a month from now, then I may call you, but not really interested enough to make a second date." It's just a nice way to end a night without looking like a complete jerk. Most people are not bold enough to tell you they're not feeling you. Especially men. I've yet to have one actually tell me that after a date...most just dropped off the face of the Earth. That used to BURN me up because I felt like you do, but now,that's fine. It's time I didn't waste with him stringing me along thinking we're doing something when all along he had no good intentions toward me anyway.

Sometimes online situations are hard. My current SO I met online and I've met/dated quite a few guys from online. Some worked out, most didn't. Oh well...

Someone suggested a read on here a long time ago, "Why Men Marry Some and Not Others"...I think that's the name of the book. I have it and it has served me well as sort of an insight into a man's behaviors.

I'll PM you...what it brought out in the book. This post already too long, LOL>
 
chocolat79 said:
I agree with Bunny....I always do, LOL. But like she said nothing happened. And men aren't going to usually be straight with you. When I get the generic "we'll have to do it again soon", that's code for, "If I absolutely have nothing else to do, even a month from now, then I may call you, but not really interested enough to make a second date." It's just a nice way to end a night without looking like a complete jerk. Most people are not bold enough to tell you they're not feeling you. Especially men. I've yet to have one actually tell me that after a date...most just dropped off the face of the Earth. That used to BURN me up because I felt like you do, but now,that's fine. It's time I didn't waste with him stringing me along thinking we're doing something when all along he had no good intentions toward me anyway.

Sometimes online situations are hard. My current SO I met online and I've met/dated quite a few guys from online. Some worked out, most didn't. Oh well...

Someone suggested a read on here a long time ago, "Why Men Marry Some and Not Others"...I think that's the name of the book. I have it and it has served me well as sort of an insight into a man's behaviors.

I'll PM you...what it brought out in the book. This post already too long, LOL>
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That's SO true. I had a guy string me along.. I asked him point blank, are you felling me or not and of course he would say yes but his actions would speak otherwise. I dont know why men never like to come right out and say it but they're actions will always let you know.

Mzlady, I know it hurts but just be happy you didnt spend even more time getting close to him. He did you a favor:yep:
 
MzLady78 said:
Ok, this is all well and fine but don't sit there and ask me if I wanna see again if you know that's not what you want. Don't sit there and say "we'll have to do it again soon" if that's not what you want. He's the one texting me every morning, not the other way around. If he had decided after we went out that he wasn't really feeling me as much as he thought, I've given him ample opportunity to be honest with me about it. But hey, maybe his lack of response to my last text is his effed up way of finally saying he's not interested.

In either case, I'm all set with all of them and their bull****.
Click to expand...

Believe me, I feel you. This happened to me A LOT... they told me one thing and then disappeared and I never heard from them again... for my own sanity, I just had to smile whenever they said whatever they did on the date and then let it go in one ear and out the other like it meant nothing.

Because sad to say, it really did mean nothing unless they followed through for another date.

:bighug:
 
MzLady98, I'm sorry, those kinds of things are disappointing. It would be better if we all felt comfortable enough to be totally honest with someone. I think the early stages can be awkward, though. Maybe he assumed that you weren't that invested yet?

This brings to mind a situation that I haven't been sure how to handle myself. There was a man who I had a couple of dates with, but didn't think we were a good match after the 2nd. I was open to going out with him again, but it wouldn't have been serious. But we hadn't gone out enough (I felt) for real feelings to develop on either side, so I didn't think it really required a forthright conversation.

Anyway, I'm thinking now that perhaps I should have been completely honest because even 6-7 months later he's still texting and wanting to know when he'll see me next, and I think that perhaps I'm in the wrong for not having just said how I felt. But is there a rule about when it's appropriate for you lay it on the table like that?
 
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M it was going so well and you go ghost for no reason? Oh yea I know why because of her. It it was it is. You know your ex is(was) a slore so I dunno why you got mad over it. Seems to me you still havefeelings for her. I'm not going to waste my time anyomore. In the long run you did me a favor right? So why can't I get you out of my head? Why am I still driving by your house and calling you private? I'm so pathetic when it comes to you.

T you are the total package...well almost. If only your crayon was bigger and you didn't talk and think about sex 24/7. I'm not sure what to make of you or your intentions. I guess I'll give you another week or so. I wish I could stop thinking of M when we're together

E I really can't wait until you get home. I need a break from all these lames
 
I just met dude and why is my family planning a wedding for next summer. And they are dead serious. I am getting nervous.
 
Reading some of everyone's experiences makes me feel so much better about being single. Too much bs to be going through. Forgets what it's like to be in a decent relationship.....
 
Thanks for the input, ladies.

I guess I’m not cut out for this whole dating thing. It seems like guys just make it complicated for no reason and I have enough complications in my life. I mean, I'm really supposed to assume that if someone says "let's do it again" that means "maybe if I don't have anything else going on"? Who the hell has time for all that?

It's not about being me invested, it's about him being a decent enough person to not say ish that he doesn't mean or to take the opportunity to be honest when it's given. It's not like I've been over here in friggin LaLa Land, thinking everything is gravy. I gave him a number of chances to speak up if he wasn't feeling it. Yeah, I still would've been a little hurt but I wouldn't think he's the a**hole that I think he is now. Not that he really cares what I think of him, obviously.

Oh well, what's one more disappointment to add to the list? I should be a pro at handling this ish by now, I've had more than enough practice.
 
MzLady try to stay optimistic and not throw the towel in yet. Your part of the country is a challenge for dating. I know that all too well. Lived there for most of my entire life. You are smart, pretty and seem like a real gem.

Maybe it's time to move and open yourself up to some new experiences with some new people. Hoping things turn around for you this year:yep:
 
BlackApple said:
MzLady try to stay optimistic and not throw the towel in yet. Your part of the country is a challenge for dating. I know that all too well. Lived there for most of my entire life. You are smart, pretty and seem like a real gem.

Maybe it's time to move and open yourself up to some new experiences with some new people. Hoping things turn around for you this year:yep:
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Thanks, girl. :kiss:

Yeah, it sure is a challenge, I'm definitely not the one not having any luck. :ohwell:
 
MzLady, I'm sorry you're having a tough time. But please don't let this guy get you down. Unfortunately your experience is common among men and women alike (I'm guilty of it myself). Sometimes you have to develop a thick skin when dating. And this may sound pessimistic, but I usually go into things without any expectations or lowered expectations. That way when it doesn't go well, I'm not affected by the situation.

Again, I know you're frustrated but try not to let it get to you. :)
 
MzLady-

I think you're great. You're a beautiful woman with a lot to offer anyone. I think you just need to focus on yourself and your goals.

I'm going through a dry spell in regards to dating, but it's cool. I was stood up last weekend, but I passed the time quickly by doing my laundry, cleaning up and completing personal tasks. Don't let these losers bring you down b/c they failed to see how fabulous you are.
 
I went from the wife to the ex-wife. Slowly getting used to the new title of Ms. not Mrs. My left ring finger looks just as beautiful ringless as is did with the ring.
 
OMG! What the heck is wrong with you?? I try to give you space and you want even more?? I mean, you didn't see me Friday night, Sat, Sun and now Mon and you think it's ok? I'm going to try to communicate this one more time that we need to spend more time together, this time in person. If it doesn't sink in or whatever, I'm chucking my deuces. So tired of this nonsense....

ETA: I see why women want to fight the "other woman". I don't really agree with it, but I understand. You put so much hard work into a relationship just to have some other broad benefit from it. I'm not even married, just in a newly re-ignited relationship and I'm ready to throw in the towel. So much work...I really understand Bey's song, Ring the Alarm :wallbash:
 
I LOVE men, truly I do!! We should lock THEM up in the zoo and let the animals run free. The world would be a MUCH safer place!! (random thought)
 
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