***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

Status
Not open for further replies.
OneInAMillion said:
I'm happily engaged to the love of my life! He surprised me on Friday with a beautiful dinner and ring :) While I'm so excited and ready to start planning for an engagement party, photos, etc, I'm SO hurt that my best friend isn't happy for me. She NEVER likes anyone I date, and for no other reason than she likes us to all be single at the same time. I'm just so annoyed that she's so negative about this whole thing--she tries to put my FH down and thinks its a big joke. He's so supportive through all this, everyone can see that this is nothing but jealousy--not that she wants him in any way, but she wants me to be single for as long as she is.

UGH, has anyone had to deal with this? I'm guilty of taking stupid stuff like this to heart, but the girl makes me want to avoid having any type of bridal shower and the like.
Click to expand...


das unfortunate. maybe she lunchin cuz she wants u for herself.

or,

i would let her know straight up off da bricks...eitha u wif me on this or ur not gonna be a part of my happiness. das it n das all. if she don't like it, then tell da bytch to kick rocks.....
 
Crystalicequeen123 said:
Well first of all...congratulations on your engagement!! :woot: :yay: :woot: So glad that you've found such a nice, loving man to be with. :yep:

As for your "friend"..... The only reason why she's acting the way she is is sour grapes, plain and simple. :ohwell: I've never been in your situation (I haven't been engaged yet), but I know that when one of my closest girl friends just started seriously dating last year, and got engaged earlier this year, I have to admit...I was a little sad. I was HAPPY for her don't get me wrong (cuz her guy is so nice and wonderful :D), but I did feel a little downhearted...not for her, but more so for me. We were like the "single sisters" and we would pick each other up when our relationships or crushes on guys went sour. :nono: But now, after she met him all of that changed! I got over it quickly though, and now I couldn't be happier for her even though I'm still single. So sometimes time is just all that it takes. And if she can see that your guy makes you REALLY happy, then I think she'll be more and more happy for you.

So, your friend is just feeling a little jealous that you're engaged and she's not even dating someone yet. That's all. Just have patience and sympathy with her. If you guys are as close as you say, and you've been friends w/her for this long, then she MUST have some redeeming qualities right? One thing you can do is try to (subtly) hook her up with some guys so that she can keep her mind off of you and your relationship. Maybe your fiance might have some guy friends of his who are looking for a nice woman? She'll forget all about you when/if she meets another guy who makes her feel so wonderful. :yep: OR...if you don't want to go the "matchmaker" route.... Why not call her up and take her out (just the two of you) and do a girls' night or something. Sometimes what might be bothering her is the fact that she feels like in a way she's lost a friend, or part of the same relationship that you two used to have. Let her know that even though you have a man, you can still "hang" with the girls w/out him around, and you two will still be close friends no matter what the dating status is. :)
Click to expand...

Thank you for your advice! You say that same things FH says about the situation. She is a good friend, but I'm the second close friend of hers who's recently engaged and she gives our other friend even more heat than me! I will just exercise more patience with the situation, but I'm definitely going to have to let her know how I feel.

The part you mentioned about spending more time with her reminded me of the last time I made time for us to hang out. We live four hours apart, but up just about every other weekend to visit family and friends (or they come down to visit me). Back in November, on Saturday afternoon, she asked me to come up to hang out. So I wasn't doing anything, and my FH was away at training, so I went up to go hang out for the evening. Everything seemed cool. I reached New York, and we hit up a lounge for about an hour, and then she said she wanted to go home because her feet hurt :perplexed. I was like ok, cool, lets go. We were with other friends too, but she's the one who asked me up and then left within an hour, and seemed to forget that she told me to crash at her place :rolleyes:.

So I let it ride because I have family and friends to stay with. But when I asked her about it a week later, she said that she was annoyed that I only hang out with her when FH is busy, which isn't true. She's come to visit me plenty of times and we go out without him and have "girl time" regularly. I mean, I can't help but be turned off when she reacts like that.

But again, I'll just have to be patient. This is the friend who I went on 4 trips with last year alone! So I know she's pissed that all that is slowing down, but its just hard to make an effort when someone is so cold to you. This does keep me up at night because she is a good friend and all I want is to share this with her, so I'll give it time to work out.

Thanks for listening Crystalicequeen! And thanks for the congrats ;)
 
Last edited:
ThatJerseyGirl said:
das unfortunate. maybe she lunchin cuz she wants u for herself.

or,

i would let her know straight up off da bricks...eitha u wif me on this or ur not gonna be a part of my happiness. das it n das all. if she don't like it, then tell da bytch to kick rocks.....
Click to expand...

:lachen: lunchin, I knew u were in DC before I looked at ur location!

Part of the difficulty is working up the courage to have this convo. But its funny, she's protective of her close friends. Over the summer, I brought her on a family trip with my when we went down to Jamaica, and she accused me of spending more time with my family than her, even though I let her know that this was really for my grandparents to visit JA (they hadn't been in years!) and she was close with our fam so I invited her.

UGH! Patience. LOL Rant off!
 
OneinaMil... yeah, i'm in here in dc...but i'll always be a "joisey" girl lolol... and people always ask..."where are u from" lolol

but nahh...u gotta nip dat in da bud chile.... u think u got problems now, wait til u get married. u gotta treat her wif a long handled spoon....

it's simple. just tell her straight up, and u can't been to "nice and easy" about it, cuz she'll feed off of dat "feeling" and twist it to fit her.

but she still gets da side eye from me..she unda investigation like a mu'phucka fa real....
 
What does this guy really want from me??? I can't take his mood swings anymore, everytime he calls me am I supposed to be estatically happy to hear him. He is making it too difficult for us to be friends. I really need to get him out of my life.
 
But aren't women scared of announcing to the whole world just how great their new relationships are and giving all the details when he's not aware of it and it hasn't progressed to engagements or marriage? I've seen it happen various times on the net and they ended with silence, then the comeback announcement that he ditched them for somebody else. It makes me nervous to read these relationship neon signs.
 
Haven't heard a THING from you since the day before you left for your TDY so ummm yea, don't expect me to wait around for you...if you really wanted to see what I'm about and was concerned about making me yours, your punk behind would stay in contact regardless of how busy you are.....ugh



And what is up with me getting hit on by the guys who call with computer problems??? Got another one getting fresh with me via email, which I don't mind, but his intentions cant be good, the man dont even know what I look like and hes gettin fresh so its clear what hes looking for.....*sigh* I just can't win for losing...
 
Tired

Tired of being alone even though I am with you
Tired of smiling while inside I am weeping
Tired of always trying to be so positive
Positivity should not take so much effort
Tired of your promises when change is beyond you
Tired of this emptiness that engulfs me
Tired of the daily routine which has become a tedious monotony
Tired of the silence which is drowning me
Tired of wondering why me
Tired of validating self outside of me
Tired of feeling indifference to your fervour
Tired of you believing that intimacy
Is your phallus inside of me
When closeness is more than an attainment of rapture
Tired of wondering why you can't see me
Tired of knowing that you will never get me
Tired of being tired of this ennui
Tired of your f/u/c/k/i/n/g complacency
Apathy is just not for me
Surely there is more to life than this mediocrity

Evsbaby
 
Why do I keep attracting the broke dudes? And why do they be straight pursuing? Dude flat out told me that he was "on a budget....liked to shop, WHEN he had money" etc. (those words = broke=don't expect to go out or do a lot of things). I decided that's not what I wanted, so I just didn't call him back anymore....he's straight blowin' me up! :wallbash:

Onnnn the other hand, the dudes I've dated in the past who had a little money, I was not attracted to in some form or fashion. They were great on paper, but not in real life :nono:

Where is the happy medium?
 
If I had any doubts before today made me recognize I need to leave him alone. He's clearly not ready for a relationship. Only been seeing him about 2 months but it was a waste of time.
 
Omgoodness. I think im having a quarter of a century crisis (:lachen:)...no but seriously, I dont think that I could be a good girlfriend. never mind a wife. I think it is all due to my lack of relationships with men. How am I supposed to "act" in a relationship when I never really had one, and because of this, is it why most men shy away from me? Its one b ig circle...idk why this is happening....venting....
 
I have a bigger crush on a different guy... but I have no idea how to tell if he likes me. He straight up said he didn't know how to flirt and doesn't usually notice when people flirt with him... so how am I supposed to tell if he's interested. xD
 
Man I still miss Mr. X, I keep trying to move on anyway possible but I know deep down inside Mr. Z or anyone else will never be or compare to Mr. X. I should've taken Mr. X when I had the chance.
 
OneInAMillion said:
So anyway, my friend has been harrassing me about how that's not a dream wedding, I'm only doing it because FH doesn't have any money (he's in the military, she defines that as broke, which is a whole seperate issue), and how I need to look for someone based on a bank account..
Click to expand...


Geez. And I bet, that if you dumped Mr. Right for somebody who had massive bank, she'd be trying to get with Mr. Right and then Mr. Wealth too. Gurl, she after yo man! :lachen:Like so many morons out there, if you they can't be happy, they don't wish for anybody else to be happy either. Blech!
 
I have no game. Like, none. :ohwell:

I was interested but I didn't know how to respond to your text, so I just didn't respond until I could think of something witty. Just so happened that I couldn't think of anything until 24 hours later. :perplexed

You're a cutie though. See you at the next party/event.
I may need a little liquid courage though.:look:
 
This is so sappy but I want to marry you & I'm so glad that you want to marry me too. I can't front, I'm a little excited to find out when you're going to propose. Never really considered myself the marrying type.
 
OneInAMillion said:
Thank you for your advice!

So I let it ride because I have family and friends to stay with. But when I asked her about it a week later, she said that she was annoyed that I only hang out with her when FH is busy, which isn't true. She's come to visit me plenty of times and we go out without him and have "girl time" regularly. I mean, I can't help but be turned off when she reacts like that.

But again, I'll just have to be patient. This is the friend who I went on 4 trips with last year alone! So I know she's pissed that all that is slowing down, but its just hard to make an effort when someone is so cold to you. This does keep me up at night because she is a good friend and all I want is to share this with her, so I'll give it time to work out.

Thanks for listening Crystalicequeen! And thanks for the congrats ;)
Click to expand...


You're welcome OneInAMillion! :yep:

Re: The Bold....
Hmm...it seems like your friend just may have attachment issues. I've known some girl friends like this before. No matter HOW much time you spend with them, they feel neglected, or they throw a tantrum just because you haven't spent time with them 24/7. :ohwell:

Sad to say, but I think she'd still be acting like this even if you didn't have a bf. The fact that she was mad that your family took precedence over her is a little odd. :look: Just continue to have patience with her! I think she's trying to compensate for something she's lacking and needs to give to HERSELF, instead of trying to suck people dry of their time, energy and resources. :( Maybe try to help her get involved in a hobby, or activity, or something that helps her to feel fulfilled in life, so she won't feel so left out and lonely when her friends can't hang with her all the time.


sugahoney said:
What does this guy really want from me??? I can't take his mood swings anymore, everytime he calls me am I supposed to be estatically happy to hear him. He is making it too difficult for us to be friends. I really need to get him out of my life.
Click to expand...

Oh boy...I've done the "moody guy" before, and I say NEVER AGAIN! What a huge mistake! I cannot deal with it! Ugh... I can't stand when a guy goes through more moods than I even do. Not cute! :nono:


Angel_Face said:
So do I ....cant wait for it to happen again and with the right person this time.
Click to expand...

Amen to that sister! I can't wait to be in love again also...and THIS time it WILL be the right person. :yep:
 
I feel sad all over again. I thought getting over a broken-heart would be a little easier this time around. Maybe its harder because this time around I'm really letting go of the Ex completely (no half steppin)? I'm just tired of heart ache.

"There can't be deep disappointment where there is not deep love" -MLK Jr.

I hope the next time I dish out deep love its for Mr. Right and not Mr. Right Now
 
Last edited:
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

SheenaVee
  • Locked
  • Poll Poll
Request Can I Create An Off Topic Random Thoughts Thread?
Replies
21
Views
4K
Nazaneen
N
kweenameena
LHCF First Date Look Book
2 3 4
Replies
114
Views
5K
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
SurferBabe
  • Sticky
Thread for the heartbroken
40 41 42
Replies
1K
Views
51K
PatDM'T
PatDM'T
nappystorm
Random Thoughts
2 3 4
Replies
94
Views
8K
Eisani
E
Naturefreegirl
Can A Relationship Work If .........
Replies
11
Views
307
Naturefreegirl
Naturefreegirl
Back
Top