***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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I need to stop being angry at myself. It takes time, I need to give myself time. Cold turkey, cut all ties, yeah def. cut all ties.
 
My really good platonic male friend of 7 years just told me he was in love with me



Um...huh...what the...pass me a cold towel for my head, please...
 
sunshinebeautiful said:
Oh lawd.... What did you say?
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Well it was via FB chat. He had been calling and we had been doing the phone tag thingy.

FG: I really love you
Me. Who? (Assuming he sent the message to the wrong person) Me?
FG: Yes you. They always say when you have feelings for someone you should let them know...
Me: *Carl's face* Wooooooooowwwww....
FG: *Goes on to talk about how long we've been knowing each other and how he feels about me*
Me: *Carl's face* That's really sweet of you *switches subject*
 
ok someone please help me understand this cuz im still wet behind the ears. him and i were talking on the phone today and he started making fun of me for checkin out this dude (keep in mind "him" is the guy im crushin on but he doesnt want a relationship, but our role to each other is friends) but then he tells me to make a move cuz hes noticed him lookin at me too. im trying to ask him for pointers on approaching the guy,and at first he gave me a bogus joke answer so i laughed and asked again, then he dodges the question by changing the subject. i dont get it, why would he tell me to go after this guy but then act like he doesnt wanna give me some advice on geting him?
 
Yes I have finally been given a date..February 4th!!! I won't hop skip and jump though..of course not...ill see u Friday :lachen: :lachen: :lachen:
 
KPH said:
HE'S COMING TO SEE YOU?

I got 2 teary phone calls today and some emails and I replied and had to really break things down for him. I'm hoping he understands now my point of view and my last sentence read. I really don't want to visit this subject with you again. He has a ticket for me to come see him to talk and I suggest that if I was to visit, I need a hotel room. He now knows exactly why I do not want to be in his house or no where near his house.
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Yeah...I have some time to figure out exactly what I want to do/say. I dont trust him and I dont think there is anything he can say at this point to make things better...or should I say, make me feel comfortable enough to start anew with him again.

It's amazing how men can go all out crazy to get someone back in their lives. But women could not get away with this. I asked him, "If I had done something like this to you, would you take me back"...It took a minute for him to come up with an answer....then he said it depended. But couldnt verbalize what it depended on :rolleyes:...I KNOW if I had deceived him like this, it would have been much worse for me in every way.
 
Don't beat yourself up over past bad decisions...just move on and make better decisions from here on out.
 
HoneyLemonDrop said:
Yeah...I have some time to figure out exactly what I want to do/say. I dont trust him and I dont think there is anything he can say at this point to make things better...or should I say, make me feel comfortable enough to start anew with him again.

It's amazing how men can go all out crazy to get someone back in their lives. But women could not get away with this. I asked him, "If I had done something like this to you, would you take me back"...It took a minute for him to come up with an answer....then he said it depended. But couldnt verbalize what it depended on :rolleyes:...I KNOW if I had deceived him like this, it would have been much worse for me in every way.
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Yes, it is and I warned him that no man should never want to be back with me and I know they have wronged me. I wouldn't let them back out of love, it would definitely be for the wrong reasons. He's still trying and it is very irritating because I feel like now I should go back to the old KPH and destroy his butt. He needs to check my record before proceeding with the begging. HE WAS WARNED.:nono::nono:
 
It's hard for me to objectively gauge whether certain of my expectations are legit/appropriate, or whether they are unreasonable and I am too quick to anger.

I don't like reflecting on past interactions and realizing that I throw an awful lot of fits. And about quite insignificant-seeming things, now that I think about it. I don't want that to be my calling-card: the fit-thrower. :look:
 
we r both so dag -gone stubborn--but its all good-i pulled out the white flag---kinda sorta but im still a lil arggghhhhh @ him---he didnt like the way i dismissed him--i didnt like the way our convo was goin....u know what it is----u know- who i am--wtfudge...siiigghhhh
 
The term 'SO' is so generic to me. Your dog is a SO, your Boss is a SO....whats wrong with calling the man in your life your boyfriend or manfriend?
 
i dont see anything wrong with being friends/friendly with an ex. Just b.c. U cut off ties with everyone...doesnt mean i have to. Especially when this ex never did anything to me. We just didnt work out @ the time. It was years ago. We dont want each other like that. Get over it. I say nothing to u that u have a best friend who is female. leave me alone. this is a turn off
 
^^^I agree with Poochie. I'm still friends with one of my exes for those exact reasons - we just didn't work out, but he's a good person.

My random thought - I discovered I actually feel embarassed if a relationship doesn't work out. Like, I'm some kind of failure because I couldn't get something to work. But, relationships don't work out for people all the time, and it's not necessarily a reflection on them, unless, of course, the reason why the relationship ended was because of something they actually did wrong i.e. cheating, emotionally cold, won't learn to compromise, etc. I'm trying to learn that as long as I put my best foot forward, and really genuinely tried, then I have nothing to be ashamed of.
 
I haven't heard from you in TEN YEARS!!!! :missing: :cry4: You and C used to be best friends. :needhug: You call me out of the blue. How did you get my number and what do you want from me after all of this time . . .:scratchch :confused:
 
I really want love. I want to be in love because I've never experienced that but I just feel like that person is not in my life yet. And there really are no replacements for that person so I always hope and try to find that right man, but I won't force a connection if it doesn't exist!
 
Man how you just going to pop up out of nowhere after all these years?! Just checking on a friend or regretting walking away from the best thing that ever happened to you? Something made you look for me and you clearly did some serious research :look: ....What's really going on???
 
^^^whats good with all these men contacting after months or years??? I'm really actually AFRAID I might be next smh :nono:
 
I think the worst thing in the world for a man to do is stalk, harass, and threaten a women who doesn't want anything to do with him. :nono: Abuse is wrong.
 
Wow even my best male friend knows u and I will not be doing anything for V-Day...:nono: NOT GOOD! He said u just don't seem like the type to think of somethin like that day. I totally agreed. Urghhhh.why why why :wallbash:
 
Ok, so the "nice guy" is sweet but not as nice as I thought...um no we could never be together.

I hope to cross paths with "L" today. The chances are very high today!
 
I'm never in this forum. But, I have to say this somewhere. I can't say it to my friends yet..

Oh my goodness...

The fact that he can pick me up..is such a TURN ON! I act like I don't like it..but I know he knows I like it...:lachen: Maybe because it shows his strength (I'm 165lbs lol) But, he could pick me up even when we were teenagers (10 years ago). And by up I mean UP. Talk about that throw you over his shoulder and walk around..lol

When he playfully threw me on the couch (like it was NOTHING) I was like oo good thing he isn't crazy or has a violence towards women history. Because that fight would be NO CONTEST. (I've run into my share of crazy abusers..intimidating women..:nono:)

We are so goofy and fun together...:yep:

I might actually have a Valentine's Day Date...:yay: And I'm not even a VDAY person, but I love to get dressed up and that's the only excuse I need to participate in this farce of a "holiday".

Why is this guy, who I dated as a teenager, the only guy that has ever understood what I really like in a man? And just walks in that role sooo very well. It's natural. Be the man..that's all I ask..be the man..

ETA: We just reconnected. Someone told me like 4 years ago that he was murdered. I couldn't find him anywhere. I MOURNED! To recently find a facebook message from him...WOW! We stayed tight up until he disappeared and it was right around the time they said he died. I can't believe a relationship I had at 13-15 was that deep. But, I've dated a lot said I love you alot (all that was a lie looking back)...and none of that is on the level of this..10 years later. We are not dating..but just being who we are w/ each other and seeing what happens. But, I'm not benching myself anytime soon. Never that again. Total infatuation. It's ridiculous.
 
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I think I may leave this man... and he knows it... and I want him to know it. I want him to fear me leaving every waking second... and he does.
 
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