***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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So I'm considering being with a dude that is more into me than I am into them. I'm tired of chasing etc. I just don't really like him like that, I don't know why him liking me so much is a turn off, but I don't know if it's because he is so into me and I'm not used to it, or because he isn't for me. But I'm going to see where this goes. I need to get it together.
 
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Okay, sooooooooo Mr. Harris called me Saturday a couple of times faking to cry and apologize. I dreamed about him being a snake on Saturday night. Sunday morning he calls and continues his performance of being sorry and taking me for granted and wanting to go back with how things were. Today, he's realized that his performance was for a blind/deaf audience and now he's mad because I didn't welcome him back with open arms.
 
KPH said:
Okay, sooooooooo Mr. Harris called me Saturday a couple of times faking to cry and apologize. I dreamed about him being a snake on Saturday night. Sunday morning he calls and continues his performance of being sorry and taking me for granted and wanting to go back with how things were. Today, he's realized that his performance was for a blind/deaf audience and now he's mad because I didn't welcome him back with open arms.
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KPH, I really like your style..I wish your attitude came easy to me. I have my ups and downs, but you seem very firm in your thinking/decisions. I'm striving to get like that. I mean I put my foot down with him but the more I do, the more he goes out of his way to express his feelings, regrets and wanting to make things better. In my heart I'm like "dang I love this man" but I keep giving him the brush off...and it seems to make him more persistent and emotional.
 
It was not the date from hell but he was not a gentleman. I categorized it as an okay date, until he dropped me off, and did not even walk me to the door or make sure I was in the house before he pulled off. Are you freaking kidding me? :perplexed

*sigh* I really thought he had relationship potential but not anymore.

You can call and text, but I will not be answering anytime soon buddy.
 
This may sound ignorant but I always thought when people spoke of the in-laws from hell that was for white people.

I assumed that blacks were happy to have someone join their families. Well at least my family is that way. Welp the future-in-laws are doing a great job of pulling us apart right now. Will they win? I dunno.
 
Is it possible to be w/ someone who you really love but not really in love with?

Is it possible to be w/ someone for a year and figure out that you don't really love the person, you're just more 'in love' w/ them. Your love for them is mainly surface based and you can see yourself getting over them fairly quickly.

Can you be w/ the person that your heart loves even though you don't logically see a future w/ them for several reasons?

I wonder when or if I'll ever be able to fully get over my ex.

Sometimes you think you have it all figured out and it turns out you're wrong. I never ever thought I'd have this much feelings towards my ex, and I thought when I met my current SO that things would be great between us and that we'd possibly get married. Now, I don't even see that vision anymore. Sometimes I think we think we know what's best but we are wrong :sad:.

I never ever thought I'd be in such a confusing predicament. Confused has been my middle name for all of 2009, and I feel some of it trickling in to 2010 :nono:


 
TCatt86 said:
So I'm considering being with a dude that is more into me than I am into them. I'm tired of chasing etc. I just don't really like him like that, I don't know why him liking me so much is a turn off, but I don't know if it's because he is so into me and I'm not used to it, or because he isn't for me. But I'm going to see where this goes. I need to get it together.
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Keep us updated, Tcatt. I hope it works out. :yep:
 
HoneyLemonDrop said:
KPH, I really like your style..I wish your attitude came easy to me. I have my ups and downs, but you seem very firm in your thinking/decisions. I'm striving to get like that. I mean I put my foot down with him but the more I do, the more he goes out of his way to express his feelings, regrets and wanting to make things better. In my heart I'm like "dang I love this man" but I keep giving him the brush off...and it seems to make him more persistent and emotional.
Click to expand...


HLD, I actually love Mr. Harris but I love myself much more. I'm happy he realized where he messed up with me but he's sooooo selfish that it outweighs his apologies. Everything he did was for him and not one time did he think about how I would feel about it. My heart is even questioning his reason for apologizing and for some reason I don't believe it is genuine. He's use to women coming on to him and he's still attempting to live off of his looks which to me are well faded. When we were 14 I thought he was tooo cute and I knew there would be girl problems but not at this age. He talked like he wanted a woman who loved the inner man and not his shell but he's still working his shell. :lachen::lachen:He can't believe the hazel eyes and whatnot don't make me say "Okay Mr. Harris, let's now get married." I told him we can call and check on each other a few times a year if he wanted to and he went into this I don't want a fake friendship with you, I LOVE YOU but his actions showed me that either he does not know what love is or I don't know what love is.:nono::nono::nono: I have no desire in my heart to see him ever again and I'm definitely fine with that. Plus, he was warned, i give you rope and let you hang yourself. ONce again those hazel eyes were suppose to blind me, NOT.:lachen:
 
SO cousin keeps asking him if I have a job yet. B@&$? I am not a bum off the street I had a very well paying career and was laid off. I have over 1000 applications I have put in. I think you are jealous cause you are alone. Wait until I get my career back on track you will really be jealous. Like I need the added stress in my life.
 
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............
 
We are fighting like a married couple and we yet we've only known each other for a short amount of time. I was 2 seconds from calling you some very mean names and no man has ever gotten to me like that. Why did you have to come out the side of your neck with that bs though? You know how I get when I'm upset but you continue to keep mess going instead of just letting me breathe for about 5 minutes and getting over it. We need a little time away from each other cuz this doesn't even make any sense, especially coming from someone who claims they don't want a relationship but by the way you act I swear I feel like I'm in one!
 
Brittster said:
Is it possible to be w/ someone who you really love but not really in love with?

Is it possible to be w/ someone for a year and figure out that you don't really love the person, you're just more 'in love' w/ them. Your love for them is mainly surface based and you can see yourself getting over them fairly quickly.

Can you be w/ the person that your heart loves even though you don't logically see a future w/ them for several reasons?

I wonder when or if I'll ever be able to fully get over my ex.

Sometimes you think you have it all figured out and it turns out you're wrong. I never ever thought I'd have this much feelings towards my ex, and I thought when I met my current SO that things would be great between us and that we'd possibly get married. Now, I don't even see that vision anymore. Sometimes I think we think we know what's best but we are wrong :sad:.

I never ever thought I'd be in such a confusing predicament. Confused has been my middle name for all of 2009, and I feel some of it trickling in to 2010 :nono:
Click to expand...

Yes, I believe its possible. And I'm not sure I'll be able to get over my x either...I just have 2 move on with my life...
 
I broke up with him. We didn't even have an argument. He probably didn't even see it coming. But I'm tired of having a complicated situation. A year and a half and you're still confused? Nah dude. I'm terribly sad but I'll live.
 
I can't believe this is my first V-day in 5 years. I didn't even think about it til he asked me "when was the last time u celebrated vday with a dude".

I was kinda embarassed to tell him the answer. All he could say was
"daaayum"
"5 years tho"
"for real 5 years?"

me: crickets
 
Seeing the ex yesterday made me realize:

1. How much I still miss him.
2. How much he hurt me.
3. How much growing he still needs to do.
 
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^^ I always tell my best friend...men will not come knockin at our front door...so we make it our duty to go out at least once or twice a week either by ourselves or with each other. Thats the only way we have found new prospects!
 
*sigh* I think its time to end this "thing"....we're in different places. Im old enough to know that this is a waste of time and Im tired of going through this, whatever it is, and Im not even with you. I didn't talk to you for a week and didn't miss it. I only called out of habit.
 
For the first time in my life, I really don't care whether I'm in a relationship or not. I haven't felt lonely for about a year.
 
Geez... I was 16 when I first spotted him, I used to go in before school not for my usual mocha order, just to look at him and so he would take my order *lol* he's gorgeous smile and accent would always make me melt. And then he asked me out when I was 18... he must have known I was 'stalking him'! *lol* I was such a silly girl, not as bold as I am now. Two years later he broke my heart but I never had a bad word to say about him, never, he never treated me wrong or let me down or anything like that. I was just gutted *sigh* and thinking about it now it was an age thing and was probably the best thing to do.

When he got back in contact with me last year I was hesitant to respond back but I saw no good reason not to. Seeing him again for the first time after 4-5 years... my my, he was still SO handsome, a little older, his hair was starting to gray a little but I found that sexy wooooweeee!!! . The funny thing was, after after an hour or so in his company I felt so comfortable and relaxed, so I felt ridiculous for freaking out and being a nervous wreck during the days leading up to meeting up. So, it would seem his reason for parting was because, although I was mature and responsible for my age at the time (he thought I was 24 on our first date! it still makes me laugh!!) he felt he was holding me back and thought I had so much more to do and achive (which I did!). Him being older meant he was in a totally different place to where I was and he recognised this.

Being back with him now is SO much better. He's such an amazing man - respectful, supportive, encouraging, honest, decent and such a hard worker. I'm very very lucky to have him (back) in my life and I think that's all I can ask for really, anything more is a bonus. I love love LOVE being with him.

Apologies for the long winded post, I just wanted to get these thoughts off my chest and out there! :lol:
 
He's way too clingy and is way more into me than I am into him. I don't think I'm feeling him as much as I thought I was. I need to figure out a way to slowly back out of this situation without hurting folks feelings. It's only been a month and a half and he's seeing the stars, moon and sun.

Uhhhhh. :look:

I also think I led him on too quickly and that is partly due to him filling a need which was lacking in my previous relationship (if you want to call it that). He's a GREAT guy, but I just don't think he's the one for me. :S
 
I am proud of myself for actually seeing this date through, in my continued effort to put myself back out there this year.

Other than that, you 44 year old, touchy feely, playa-playa, chest muscle flexing old G'..won't be seeing me again. But thanks for showing me a cool spot I had never been to before..I'll make sure to remember it...... to hang out with someone else.:grin:
 
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