***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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CarLiTa said:
I really don't like it when guys who aren't my SO start using terms of endearment when talking to me. It irritates me and makes me uncomfortable, but I have yet to let any of them know that I don't like it.

In the spirit of being more assertive, I want to... And here's an opportunity to do so. New guy who barely knows me is calling me 'dear' via text. How do I let him know that I don't like that? Without sounding like a jerk... He is someone I may be working with in the next year.

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Welp, he didn't take it well... I said I wanted to be honest and that I have a thing against words like dear, hun, babe. He said he thought dear was harmless and saves the last 2 words for when he has a girlfriend, and then followed up with some terse lines.

I tried to make light of the situation, but then he called me ma'am:lol:

Okaykaykay.

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No date tonight. Bummed. I told him that it was clearly too much of a hassle to get together but we should postpone until we are both back in NY. I go back on Wednesday. He's back Tues night. He said we should definitely do something next week.

......

Next week is after the ****** new year! Next week, my vacay is over and I'm back at work!

...... Boys ar so dumb. Boys are so dumb!!!!

So I told him before the new year is better. He says he will see when his schedule firms up tomorrow.

:rolleyes:

I'm calling out that his days are numbered. I'm trying to work with you do that you can see me. Instead of play stupid and wait for you to suggest a day that is probably bad for me. No game playing. But I could play games if you want. Ohhhhhh, I could. :yawn:
 
- Getting rid of you was one of the best things I ever did. What was I thinking?

- You are so sweet. You remembered I wanted flat boots and pink is my favorite color. So you got me pink UGGS.

- Your daughter is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. I wonder if we had one, would they
 
- Getting rid of you was one of the best things I ever did. What was I thinking?

- You are so sweet. You remembered I wanted flat boots and pink is my favorite color. So you got me pink UGGS.

- Your daughter is the most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. I wonder if we had one, would they look alike? LOL! Lemme stop............
 
CarLiTa said:
Welp, he didn't take it well... I said I wanted to be honest and that I have a thing against words like dear, hun, babe. He said he thought dear was harmless and saves the last 2 words for when he has a girlfriend, and then followed up with some terse lines.

I tried to make light of the situation, but then he called me ma'am:lol:

Okaykaykay.

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You did what you felt was needed.No sense of walking on egg shells.Let him no no hard feelings and that you would like to have a great working relationship so somethings have to be checked early.
 
I'm so blessed and grateful for your empathy but puleese don't offer to cup me again. Fool you forgot you burned me just last week? I got the marks and healing sores as reminders. Bye boy..........................
 
I really like him. :look: He really makes me happy, and he makes it soooo easy for me to care for him. :yep: He is more than I could have ever asked for. I am so happy. :yep:
 
Sooo, I didn't get a chance to post this before.

Christmas Eve, me, my siblings and my mom were in the car going to my aunt's house. My brother drops this bombshell that he's moving in with his GF next year and planning to propose. This is not the same girl that we had a convo about less than 2 months ago that he proclaimed he was in love with. :perplexed None of us had ever even met this new chick (he said she was scared to meet us). So later that night, he ends up bringing her in. Pretty girl, seemed nice enough. Has a 5 year old daughter.

I am SHOCKED, though. My brother is 28, has never lived on his own and is about to live with this girl. I hope he knows what he's doing.

SN: The girl is Puerto Rican and Dominican. My sister's bf is Puerto Rican. So I made a joke to my mom and sister about them loving some Hispanics. They replied maybe I need to try 'em, since I'm clearly not having any luck with the brothas.

Ouch. :look:
 
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Arrrgh! Wtf...why is this guy still tryna cut when he has a gf? Why does he complain that she doesn't appreciate him, doesn't care about him, has prob cheated on him, doesn't do anything with him, but when I ask "why are you with her?" He replies "it just works" LMAO stuuuuuuupid. What kinda logic is that? Everytime I think of that conversation I bust out laughing because it makes no damn sense. If that mess is "working" then I must have had the definition of "working" wrong this whole time.
 
chocolat79 said:
:lachen::lachen::lachen: I'm sorry, I know you're being serious, but that last sentence was hilarious! You could always "accidentally" unplug or hit the wrong button...:sekret:
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Girl I'm not even talking to him right now. He was a jerk to me over the weekend. Men get on my damn nerves. Good thing he didn't try getting any last night cuz he already knew it wasn't going down
 
Je Ne Sais Quoi said:
Girl I'm not even talking to him right now. He was a jerk to me over the weekend. Men get on my damn nerves. Good thing he didn't try getting any last night cuz he already knew it wasn't going down
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Sorry he was a jerk over the holiday weekend. That is not cool at all:nono:.
 
youwillrise said:
Arrrgh! Wtf...why is this guy still tryna cut when he has a gf? Why does he complain that she doesn't appreciate him, doesn't care about him, has prob cheated on him, doesn't do anything with him, but when I ask "why are you with her?" He replies "it just works" LMAO stuuuuuuupid. What kinda logic is that? Everytime I think of that conversation I bust out laughing because it makes no damn sense. If that mess is "working" then I must have had the definition of "working" wrong this whole time.
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Yeah, I see where he's coming from. It works, I like her just enough to stay with her and dislike her just enough to cheat on her. Have cake, eat it too...

She's probably great in bed so he holds on to that. I overheard a guy talking to another guy saying he hates everything about his girl but she can sd very well. And on that note, he aint going no where...but will cheat all day every day.
 
ChasingBliss said:
Yeah, I see where he's coming from. It works, I like her just enough to stay with her and dislike her just enough to cheat on her. Have cake, eat it too...

She's probably great in bed so he holds on to that. I overheard a guy talking to another guy saying he hates everything about his girl but she can sd very well. And on that note, he aint going no where...but will cheat all day every day.
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ChasingBliss ...well, he always tells me that she doesn't do anything sexual with him haha and he "needs to get laid" ...everytime he proposes the idea of us doing anything sexual, my first question is "where is your gf and why don't you ask her to do it?" And he says "she isn't doing it". So...I dunno if he's getting any cake...I told him as long as he's in a relationship, I'm not doing it...I'm really not trying to be a jumpoff, sidepiece or any of that ridiculousness. too old (and not crazy enough) for that!
 
youwillrise said:
ChasingBliss ...well, he always tells me that she doesn't do anything sexual with him haha and he "needs to get laid" ...everytime he proposes the idea of us doing anything sexual, my first question is "where is your gf and why don't you ask her to do it?" And he says "she isn't doing it". So...I dunno if he's getting any cake...I told him as long as he's in a relationship, I'm not doing it...I'm really not trying to be a jumpoff, sidepiece or any of that ridiculousness. too old (and not crazy enough) for that!
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Welp, he's getting something from her. If I were you I wouldn't talk to him at all. Very disrespectful conversation he is having with you, disrespectful to the gf and you as well. Why entertain his foolishness?
 
hopeful said:
Welp, he's getting something from her. If I were you I wouldn't talk to him at all. Very disrespectful conversation he is having with you, disrespectful to the gf and you as well. Why entertain his foolishness?
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You're right...I had actually stopped talking to him for quite a while and then made the foolish decision of trying to be friendly again. We've known eachother since we were 11/12, so maybe the history makes it harder?...but in any event, you're absolutely right.
 
youwillrise said:
You're right...I had actually stopped talking to him for quite a while and then made the foolish decision of trying to be friendly again. We've known eachother since we were 11/12, so maybe the history makes it harder?...but in any event, you're absolutely right.
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I understand about the history, but if he can't be respectful you have to cut him off. He can't have a normal conversation with you without suggesting you have sex with him? He's a weirdo, very selfish, and disrespectful. Even if he didn't have a gf the conversation would be inapproprate with a "friend". Don't subect yourself to his ignorance. I don't have any friends from before my college days. Everybody can't have friends from way back when, it's okay. Let him go.
 
hopeful said:
I understand about the history, but if he can't be respectful you have to cut him off. He can't have a normal conversation with you without suggesting you have sex with him? He's a weirdo, very selfish, and disrespectful. Even if he didn't have a gf the conversation would be inapproprate with a "friend". Don't subect yourself to his ignorance. I don't have any friends from before my college days. Everybody can't have friends from way back when, it's okay. Let him go.
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((Nods)) you're spot on. I'm not arguing at all. I don't have any friends old or new, but its probably better to have no friends than ones like him, eh? Haha. Thanks for the honest piece of mind...these are definitely things I've always known...I think most people know what they should do in situations like this deep down...its that false hopefulness...you know it'll never change, but you don't give up because you're a silly fool who wants to be positive about what has revealed itself as negative and useless time and time again. I bring the nonsense on myself really...glutton for punishment much?

Anyway...I haven't been in this forum in a while...thered be some fun(ny) stuff in here! I always got a kick outta coming here, but also kinda jealous at the same time at my non-relationship'd self : P
 
youwillrise said:
@ChasingBliss ...well, he always tells me that she doesn't do anything sexual with him haha and he "needs to get laid" ...everytime he proposes the idea of us doing anything sexual, my first question is "where is your gf and why don't you ask her to do it?" And he says "she isn't doing it". So...I dunno if he's getting any cake...I told him as long as he's in a relationship, I'm not doing it...I'm really not trying to be a jumpoff, sidepiece or any of that ridiculousness. too old (and not crazy enough) for that!
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Good and keep it that way...and even if he is no longer in a relationship, I'd say stay away...look what he's doing to her. On top of it all, trife life dudes lie on their girlfriends all the time. Who really knows what she is and is not really doing. This guy is a trip :lol:
 
ChasingBliss said:
Good and keep it that way...and even if he is no longer in a relationship, I'd say stay away...look what he's doing to her. On top of it all, trife life dudes lie on their girlfriends all the time. Who really knows what she is and is not really doing. This guy is a trip :lol:
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Lmao...you ain't neva lied. He probably gettin loads of cake...just wants that whipped cream on top.

Edit: dang I haven't heard the term "trife life" used in a minute : P
 
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Ok, I'm not looking to be seeing anyone else right now but a dude I thought was cute awhile ago is suddenly getting divorced... this is normally what would be to me an opening for a short episode... I guess I can't do that now huh?

Boo, I forgot about this side of the equation, lol.
 
he enjoyed church. we to the mall yesterday to catch some of these after christmas sales and he bought "church clothes" we spend so miuch time together. im not sure what we are going to do once i start the next semester =(
 
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