i've always suspected that there were cosmic forces at work to prevent me from getting play and now i am positive.
during the summer i tried to set up a fun sort fling thing with this guy i knew. he's the type of guy that's really bad for you, totally hot and a total playboy. i knew that going in, and i didn't really care. in my eyes, he was a cute guy with a fun personality and a nice body. i'd known him for awhile, and there was def a physical attraction there. and we clicked on a mental note too, but he was leaving for residency and i was moving too, so i knew it couldn't go anywhere. i still wanted to hook up with him though. anyway, it never happened, he got weird so i stopped pushing it. I was really confused tho cuz the first time i slept over at his place he was all over me and tried to keep me from leaving, the second time he didn't touch me once. plus he would always say these cryptic things. either way i figured i could take a hint, I left it alone from there lol.
ffwd to today, i find out from a mutual friend that that was intentional on his part. apparently he had intentionally sabotaged cuz didn't want to start something and then we sleep together and then he fly off, he thought i deserved better than that. He said he didn't want to play me. But that's exactly what I wanted! Is he playing me if that's what I wanted??? wtf, man?
so i'm supposed to be visiting some friends in his city in a few months and I had played with the idea of contacting him when i got up there, in hopes that we could finish what we started.... but if he is morally opposed to the idea of hooking up with me i guess not. supposedly he's out there having a good old time tho
erplexed
I mean, why would it happen that a total playboy would all of a sudden catch morals when i come into the picture and then lose them immediately afterward? and i know its not that he wasn't into me or not attracted to me, actually I'm pretty sure that's not the case.
He did tell my friend that he to try really really hard not to hook up with me, and i believe him cuz i tried really really hard to make it easy for him. Anyway it clears up some things cuz I was really confused at the time.
so yeah... cosmic forces.