***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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rafikichick92 said:
Curly Lee I knew someone here or IRL would ask this question, lol.

TBH, I needed closure for me. We were BFFs then together for 1.5 years until I cut him off a year ago saying that we would communicate again after I'd gotten over him because at the time I was wayyyy too into him. A year later, the needs he filled in my life no longer exist and since I'm back in town for the holidays, I decided I was ready for true closure beyond "I'll talk to you once I've gotten my own life in order". As for this friendship thing--eh, it's all him, so if he wants it, he'll work for it and it'll be on his (read: his GF's) terms, not mine because I can take him or leave him at this point.
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Umm why? Honesty he shouldn't even worry about being your friend if he is getting married. If I were the gf/fiance I would be curious as to why my man is trying or willing to try sooo hard to be friends with an ex. Seems like a bad situation and that you need to make the choice not to be his friend, if only out of respect for his new woman.
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
soo, I met a Nigerian guy at an international conference in Korea last month. We flirted and stuff, nothing too serious and I helped him brainstorm for his gov program. We exchanged info and said our goodbyes. I shoot him an email, when I got back, no response, I was like well w.e. and forgot about him. Well he just called me!!!!!!!!!! lol I was so excited, I was like wow! He said he thought I had forgotten him and asked when am I coming to Africa, I said when i'm able, he said how about I just send you the itinerary!!! :D
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Please be careful. You don't know him and he doesn't know you.
 
HauteHippie said:
They always say that! They don't want us to start a trend. ;)
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Good point. Girls started cosigning on what the guys were saying and that was crazy. The only married guy agreed with me. He said wait until marriage, but that may not happen. :look:


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rafikichick92 said:
Curly Lee I knew someone here or IRL would ask this question, lol.

TBH, I needed closure for me. We were BFFs then together for 1.5 years until I cut him off a year ago saying that we would communicate again after I'd gotten over him because at the time I was wayyyy too into him. A year later, the needs he filled in my life no longer exist and since I'm back in town for the holidays, I decided I was ready for true closure beyond "I'll talk to you once I've gotten my own life in order". As for this friendship thing--eh, it's all him, so if he wants it, he'll work for it and it'll be on his (read: his GF's) terms, not mine because I can take him or leave him at this point.
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Hope you leave him! He is engaged!
 
I read this a few days ago in a book and I wanted to hear what you ladies have to say about it:

"Frankly, you have to use it or lose it: the vagina is a muscle, I urge women without a partner to insert something. Otherwise the vagina shrinks and might never get back its original elasticity. Women need to know this. They need to take care of their bodies."

Is this true? Does the vagina shrink if you don't use it?
 
Maracujá

That's ridiculous. It might get a little tight without a steady partner but once a steady partner is introduced it will be just fine after a few times.
 
danibeeja_gyal said:
soo, I met a Nigerian guy at an international conference in Korea last month. We flirted and stuff, nothing too serious and I helped him brainstorm for his gov program. We exchanged info and said our goodbyes. I shoot him an email, when I got back, no response, I was like well w.e. and forgot about him. Well he just called me!!!!!!!!!! lol I was so excited, I was like wow! He said he thought I had forgotten him and asked when am I coming to Africa, I said when i'm able, he said how about I just send you the itinerary!!! :D
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Not to be Debbie Downer, but why are you still entertaining him when he couldn't be bothered to respond to your email last month? Did he give a reason?

IDK, if I give a guy my contact info, he doesn't get to sit on it for an indefinite amount of time and then pop up out of nowhere.

He gets the side eye from me, but if you do proceed, please do so with caution.
 
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hopeful said:
Maracujá

That's ridiculous. It might get a little tight without a steady partner but once a steady partner is introduced it will be just fine after a few times.
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That's what I was thinking, thank you.

texasqt said:
Maracujá
What are you reading?And is the author male or female? Are they speaking from personal experience? I think it's bull.
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I'm reading O's guide to life, it's an article that appeared in the O magazine written by Nina Burleigh interviewing Gail Saltz (a psychoanalyst).
 
hopeful

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I am aware that we don't know each other, so we will be getting to know each other long distance.

MzLady78
He said he never got my email.

ETA: I should have made that clear in my post, but I was excited.
 
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danibeeja_gyal said:
hopeful

I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I am aware that we don't know each other, so we will be getting to know each other long distance.

MzLady78
He said he never got my email.

ETA: I should have made that clear in my post, but I was excited.
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From this end it's hard to understand your excitement because he didn't return your e-mail (I know he claims he didn't get it, but still...), he sat on your contact info for a month, and now you guys have only spoken once and he's offering to send for you, IDK but I think if it were me I would be more cautious and skeptical. But I'm happy for you, love you to be excited and happy. You are just so young and so pretty, I find myself feeling like a mama bear, sorry I can't help it, my oldest daughter is close to your age.
 
 
i've always suspected that there were cosmic forces at work to prevent me from getting play and now i am positive.

during the summer i tried to set up a fun sort fling thing with this guy i knew. he's the type of guy that's really bad for you, totally hot and a total playboy. i knew that going in, and i didn't really care. in my eyes, he was a cute guy with a fun personality and a nice body. i'd known him for awhile, and there was def a physical attraction there. and we clicked on a mental note too, but he was leaving for residency and i was moving too, so i knew it couldn't go anywhere. i still wanted to hook up with him though. anyway, it never happened, he got weird so i stopped pushing it. I was really confused tho cuz the first time i slept over at his place he was all over me and tried to keep me from leaving, the second time he didn't touch me once. plus he would always say these cryptic things. either way i figured i could take a hint, I left it alone from there lol.

ffwd to today, i find out from a mutual friend that that was intentional on his part. apparently he had intentionally sabotaged cuz didn't want to start something and then we sleep together and then he fly off, he thought i deserved better than that. He said he didn't want to play me. But that's exactly what I wanted! Is he playing me if that's what I wanted??? wtf, man? :lol:

so i'm supposed to be visiting some friends in his city in a few months and I had played with the idea of contacting him when i got up there, in hopes that we could finish what we started.... but if he is morally opposed to the idea of hooking up with me i guess not. supposedly he's out there having a good old time tho:perplexed

I mean, why would it happen that a total playboy would all of a sudden catch morals when i come into the picture and then lose them immediately afterward? and i know its not that he wasn't into me or not attracted to me, actually I'm pretty sure that's not the case.

He did tell my friend that he to try really really hard not to hook up with me, and i believe him cuz i tried really really hard to make it easy for him. Anyway it clears up some things cuz I was really confused at the time.

so yeah... cosmic forces.
 
Theo, lol that sounds juust like my experience this summer. I was thinking nooooo, don't be moraaaalll, I just wanna have funnn. In the end, better that it didn't happen, I guess. I was mad abt it for a while though, sigh. I'm just not meant for these situations.
 
CarLiTa said:
@Theo, lol that sounds juust like my experience this summer. I was thinking nooooo, don't be moraaaalll, I just wanna have funnn. In the end, better that it didn't happen, I guess. I was mad abt it for a while though, sigh. I'm just not meant for these situations.
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CarLiTa I know exactly what you mean, it doesn't seem like I'm meant for those sorts of situations either.

I literally couldn't be in one of those situations if I tried. :rolleyes::lol:

I mean, I guess it is better that it didn't happen....? Maybe he was right and I would have actually fallen for him in the end. Who knows.
 
He said he would cook dinner for me tonight...I said yes, but I am so tired..
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Theo said:
I mean, why would it happen that a total playboy would all of a sudden catch morals when i come into the picture and then lose them immediately afterward? and i know its not that he wasn't into me or not attracted to me, actually I'm pretty sure that's not the case.

He did tell my friend that he to try really really hard not to hook up with me, and i believe him cuz i tried really really hard to make it easy for him. Anyway it clears up some things cuz I was really confused at the time.

so yeah... cosmic forces.
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:lachen:

You have the nice girl syndrome :yep:. I have had my fair share of "you are too good for this."

This is all college... In one memorable instance, the dude literally was apologizing to me --- the whole entire night (as we were making out). Didn't get too far, as you can probably guess.

I had another just simply carry me to my bed, give me a kiss on the forehead, and walked out the door (with a "do you want me turn off the lights? ok, sweet dreams!").

I decided to quit while I was ahead after that :lol:.

On the other hand, you have this man's respect which is something that may give you cold comfort, but it's still pretty good to have. Playboys can sometimes be overrated.
 
So I told a little lie in order to get out from going over to his house...you know what he said??? He' ll bring the food to me..Lol!!!

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The man gets on my nerves. I complained that he never takes me out. He decides to take me to the hoodest (is that even a word) bar in the suburbs. He thinks he is slick I kno he was just trying to prove a point that there is nothing out here. This dude practically knocked mybf down trying to get to me to talk to me. The man was like see this is why I don't take you too many nuccas try to talk to you. I laughed in the inside. Better pay me some Attention if not you can easily be replaced
 
Oh soooo sweet and thougthful 95% of the time but errah that 5% gon getcha cut baby boo. One mo "yes dear" and I'm gon really be a backseat driver kneegrow. LOL
 
Every once a while, one of my friends tells me if it wasn't for his friend he'd have gone after me. And that he wants me physically but not for a relationship and it would be so fun because i'm conservative/innocent. :/


Anyone else and I wouldn't entertain this. But with him i always just let him talk. I don't get it, I wonder if him being so uninhibited resonates with me? Maybe because nothing will ever come of it? He's really charismatic and really great at reading me ( told me all about myself yesterday.) I wonder if it's just because he's charismatic? I wonder if that's how he knows i won't rebuff him. :\ because I really don't really get it myself.
 
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