***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

[barbiesocialite]

ummm yea, this phone conversation just reminded me why I'm hesitant....

He doesn't know what to say out of his f*ckin mouth when he's upset. He is reactive. Always has been. I tend to avoid people with defensive habits that tend to take things personal. That's stressful to me.

Most girls may like jerks or dismissive sarcasm but I DON'T. That was insensitive. I don't know if that was intended as an invitation to argue but I don't do drama in my relationships/friendships. I don't have anything to say.

 

[LivingDol1]

I'm a bit blown away!

After a crazy hectic day at work, I had a pretty good date tonight... We met at 8:30PM. I didn't think I'd be out with him past 10:30 or 11 but when I finally looked at my clock, it was 12 midnight!!! craziness....

at 12:30, I suggested we call it a night. It was a good time. Pretty relaxed, which was just what I needed. Seriously, I felt like butt. I was wearing jeans, a black tank top, a scarf and a sweater. I wasn't feeling all that special... and my work day was exhausting. but he was super fun. and made me feel pretty. lol.

there was a hiccup in the date... a little bit of a miscommunication/joking matter... but it was squashed pretty quickly. I mean, I had fun with him and I didn't want this little silly matter to get in the way. I'm glad I stood my ground and told him that I didn't tolerate that sort of humor and he got it and now he understands. train them early and they will learn.... ;-)

anyway, i wasn't sure if he was getting a kiss but he thought so and i didn't mind. it was workable. lol. hmm...

i'm going to see him next Monday since w both are traveling to DC for the holiday... how convenient!

He could very well be my next boyfriend. Things are looking good!!!

 

[chocolat79]

SO got his plane ticket yesterday!! So he's officially coming now! And, surprisingly it wasn't as high as I thought it was going to be at this late date. Now, all I gotta do is make it through one more week!

 

[Taleah2009]

sometimes i wonder why i even bother.

 

[WakandanPrincess]

I caught him in a lie, and now I'm sitting here crying because he won't take my calls. all i get is a text saying that we'll talk later. Why the hell am I feeling bad, like I want to make things right. I love this man, and I'm truly hurt, and now I just don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't be crying over this, but I'm just so hurt.

 

[barbiesocialite]

*switching phones*

 

[ChasingBliss]

I caught him in a lie, and now I'm sitting here crying because he won't take my calls. all i get is a text saying that we'll talk later. Why the hell am I feeling bad, like I want to make things right. I love this man, and I'm truly hurt, and now I just don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't be crying over this, but I'm just so hurt.

You caught HIM in a lie and are going through that? If anything I'm surprised it's not the other way around. I do hope you feel better though.

 

[gn1g]

I caught him in a lie, and now I'm sitting here crying because he won't take my calls. all i get is a text saying that we'll talk later. Why the hell am I feeling bad, like I want to make things right. I love this man, and I'm truly hurt, and now I just don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't be crying over this, but I'm just so hurt.

I pray your strength. He is busy thinking up another lie to cover the one you caught him in, seriously. And . . . well you will need to be stronger.

 

[tinkat]

I caught him in a lie, and now I'm sitting here crying because he won't take my calls. all i get is a text saying that we'll talk later. Why the hell am I feeling bad, like I want to make things right. I love this man, and I'm truly hurt, and now I just don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't be crying over this, but I'm just so hurt.

Its ok to cry bc you are hurt but like op said be strong when it comes to him. He is showing his ***, he is showing who he really is. Your post reminded me of what I dealt with.

 

[Softerlove]

I caught him in a lie, and now I'm sitting here crying because he won't take my calls. all i get is a text saying that we'll talk later. Why the hell am I feeling bad, like I want to make things right. I love this man, and I'm truly hurt, and now I just don't know what to do. I know that I shouldn't be crying over this, but I'm just so hurt.

Sorry hun...for some strength try to read some of the "what women should know" threads on LHCF relationship forum. As someone who kept catching lies and brushed them over, trust: THEY KEEP LYING! Right now he is seeing how low you're willing to go to keeps him, even when he is WRONG. If you're realize that the less he gives-the more you want, reevaluate. Check: baggagereclaim.com NOW, for some clarity, if you want to figure this for yourself.
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen

 

[WakandanPrincess]

I appreciate all of your comments. I just don't know where to go from here. Long story short, he wasn't where he said that he was going to be, and when I called him on it all he said was "i can't believe you did that", in reference to me checking the airline website to see when his flight was supposed to arrive to said destination. He arrived waaaaay earlier than he was supposed to so I checked it out of curiosity. Then i kept asking him to say something and he said nothing. He didn't deny it nor did he try to argue with me about it. All he said was lets not go to bed angry and said goodnight then hung up the phone. I have called him four times since Monday night when this all happened and he won't answer. Like one of you said, I'm pretty sure that he is trying to come up with a lie to cover up this one. I just feel so lost because like I stated before, I love this man, and was hoping that we were headed towards working on a future together, but now that's all gone out of the window. I'm pissed, sad, mad, frustrated,irritated, and of all things depressed.

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Umm he sent the nudies I'm not impressed at all. Now I feel disgusted.

 

[InchHighPrivateEye]

Random experience just made my day. I went to a jewelry store to look for a Christmas gift. I've been having an "I look a mess" day and had just finished drinking coffee so then I'm like "ugh, I have coffee breath, my teeth are probably brown, [ ]" and so when I went into the store, it's mostly older yt people and I was about to start feeling defensive because I'm already having a doubty moment and then I'm trying not to look out of my league--because I'm looking for the most inexpensive pair of earrings :Blush2:--so when a salesman asks if I'm being helped, I'm almost like "No! " (Um. Of course I didn't really do that.)

So he helped me find something and I kept noticing the way he was looking--at first I thought he was thinking I was wasting his time or something. But I ended up buying a pair and he went back in the back to wrap them. When he came back out he had a packet of something that he handed to me. Chile, I'm thinking that it's a coupon or something. So I go on about my business, still worried about my possible coffee teeth and dark circles--whenever I'm tired, I feel like I have dark circles and I get really paranoid (yes. That does sound crazy as hell. I know.). So while I'm waiting somewhere else I open the packet to see how much the coupon is and there's no coupon, but he left his card and on the back he had written "You are so beautiful " Awwwwwwwwww. Aw. That made my day. I'm sure he does that with a lot of women or maybe my mood was really obvious and he was trying to be nice and make me smile, but aw. It worked.

And then I got back to work and learned that somebody has been fired (and it's Christmas ) and they may be firing more people, so I'm wondering if I need to take that mess back But anyway, aw. Thanks to you, sweet, sweet jewelry store man that I almost snapped at.

 

[CarLiTa]

Aww yay!!! How sweet that was!

 

[Softerlove]

I just feel so lost because like I stated before, I love this man, and was hoping that we were headed towards working on a future together, but now that's all gone out of the window. I'm pissed, sad, mad, frustrated,irritated, and of all things depressed.

Welcome to the club, at least you know now rather than later. Again:
http://baggagereclaim.com/ it helped me sort out some bad feelings and sift through the lies and truth I was so foggy on.

 

[Keshieshimmer]

So while I'm waiting somewhere else I open the packet to see how much the coupon is and there's no coupon, but he left his card and on the back he had written "You are so beautiful " Awwwwwwwwww. Aw. That made my day. I'm sure he does that with a lot of women or maybe my mood was really obvious and he was trying to be nice and make me smile, but aw. It worked.

So you weren't feeling him? haha. Don't act like you aren't loveable!

 

[sky_blu]

Men...............................................................

 

[SuchMagnificent]

I see you sniffing back around, Mr. Louisiana.. Had the nerve to say I didnt give you enough time for us to get to know each other...How much time did you think you were gonna get?

 

[rafikichick92]

My ex is moving to TN to get engaged to his GF, tomorrow, so I texted him that we should go to lunch as a final goodbye. I haven't had contact with him in a year and he had lost my number, but he immediately texted back like yeah, sure, after he found out it was me, lol. He invited one of our mutual friends and brought along someone who was helping him move, which was kind of awkward, but whatever, lol. He was super sweet, which kind of surprised me, because I was being kind of pissy. Then at the end, he was like, will you forgive me, can we be friends? I'll do whatever it takes to earn your friendship. I'm like yeah, sure. Ever since, he's been texting me, I miss you; we're friends, right; can you friend me on FB; blah, blah, blah. We'll see how this goes. I'll tell you what you want to hear, but the minute you tick me off, I can easily ignore your butt just like I did Drew.

 

[Curly Lee]

My ex is moving to TN to get engaged to his GF, tomorrow, so I texted him that we should go to lunch as a final goodbye. I haven't had contact with him in a year and he had lost my number, but he immediately texted back like yeah, sure, after he found out it was me, lol. He invited one of our mutual friends and brought along someone who was helping him move, which was kind of awkward, but whatever, lol. He was super sweet, which kind of surprised me, because I was being kind of pissy. Then at the end, he was like, will you forgive me, can we be friends? I'll do whatever it takes to earn your friendship. I'm like yeah, sure. Ever since, he's been texting me, I miss you; we're friends, right; can you friend me on FB; blah, blah, blah. We'll see how this goes. I'll tell you what you want to hear, but the minute you tick me off, I can easily ignore your butt just like I did Drew.

This is just my opinion but I think you were possibly wrong for even contacting him. IDK why it just made me raise my eyebrow. Like possibly you had ulterior motives Why did you want to have lunch with him?

 

[rafikichick92]

This is just my opinion but I think you were possibly wrong for even contacting him. IDK why it just made me raise my eyebrow. Like possibly you had ulterior motives Why did you want to have lunch with him?

Curly Lee I knew someone here or IRL would ask this question, lol.

TBH, I needed closure for me. We were BFFs then together for 1.5 years until I cut him off a year ago saying that we would communicate again after I'd gotten over him because at the time I was wayyyy too into him. A year later, the needs he filled in my life no longer exist and since I'm back in town for the holidays, I decided I was ready for true closure beyond "I'll talk to you once I've gotten my own life in order". As for this friendship thing--eh, it's all him, so if he wants it, he'll work for it and it'll be on his (read: his GF's) terms, not mine because I can take him or leave him at this point.

 

[chelseatiara]

I was on fb and one of my fb friends is pregnant right. Now this chick STAY postin statuses about how she love her man and how she down for him and how communcation is how they work so well together etc. and the baby's name was gonna be so-and-so, jr right? Well now she done found out he was cheatin on her and she want new suggestions for the baby's name! Smh you can change his name but you can't change the father ..

 

[Klearli]

Ugh...why did facebook have to know all that

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2

 

[rafikichick92]

And now Drew sends me a Merry Christmas note signed "yours, Drew". Lemme get off FB ...

 

[firecracker]

Love it and you sweetie! Keep it comin.............................

 

[VeryBecoming]

So far so good. I'm at his place until Christmas. He's at work soo IDK what to do with myself. Go out and see the city I suppose.

 

[ChasingBliss]

I appreciate all of your comments. I just don't know where to go from here. Long story short, he wasn't where he said that he was going to be, and when I called him on it all he said was "i can't believe you did that", in reference to me checking the airline website to see when his flight was supposed to arrive to said destination. He arrived waaaaay earlier than he was supposed to so I checked it out of curiosity. Then i kept asking him to say something and he said nothing. He didn't deny it nor did he try to argue with me about it. All he said was lets not go to bed angry and said goodnight then hung up the phone. I have called him four times since Monday night when this all happened and he won't answer. Like one of you said, I'm pretty sure that he is trying to come up with a lie to cover up this one. I just feel so lost because like I stated before, I love this man, and was hoping that we were headed towards working on a future together, but now that's all gone out of the window. I'm pissed, sad, mad, frustrated,irritated, and of all things depressed.

Ashlee5125

Wow, you have all the answers you need. I know how hard this must be for you. To love someone that you are realizing is a liar and a coward. Been there done that and fought my way out of it. We deserve better. Know that at ALL TIMES. Know it until your behaviors follow suit. He does not deserve you to be there when he finally calls. But you will...I understand that. You love him and you want to hear what he has to say and you probably want to curse him out. But know, he just doesnt deserve your spit at this point.

 

[texasqt]

I knew someone here or IRL would ask this question, lol.

TBH, I needed closure for me. We were BFFs then together for 1.5 years until I cut him off a year ago saying that we would communicate again after I'd gotten over him because at the time I was wayyyy too into him. A year later, the needs he filled in my life no longer exist and since I'm back in town for the holidays, I decided I was ready for true closure beyond "I'll talk to you once I've gotten my own life in order". As for this friendship thing--eh, it's all him, so if he wants it, he'll work for it and it'll be on his (read: his GF's) terms, not mine because I can take him or leave him at this point.

rafikichick92 Re: the bolded- IMO I wouldn't leave it up to his terms and I wouldn't take nothing from him. He's an ex for a reason. You cut him off for a reason and he was able to find somebody else to marry during the time you shut him out. Get your closure and keep it closed. You don't need him as a friend now and it seems like even though he is about to marry he may still have feelings for you which is only going to make the so called "friendship" complicated. He brought his friends along to lunch for a reason and I'm sure he told them who you were - "an ex that wants to have lunch before I get married."

And for some reason I see him playing games, actually both of you, that's going to end with no one winning. Especially when he starts confiding in you and reminiscing on how things use to be and then you'll have all these mixed emotions for a married man who is going to tell you some BS like "you knew I was married" when you do start catching feelings. IJS. I don't know y'all but I suggest stopping it before it even starts.

 

[BGT]

And now Drew sends me a Merry Christmas note signed "yours, Drew". Lemme get off FB ...

Maybe you haven't explained but what's wrong with Drew?

 

[Skyfall]

soo, I met a Nigerian guy at an international conference in Korea last month. We flirted and stuff, nothing too serious and I helped him brainstorm for his gov program. We exchanged info and said our goodbyes. I shoot him an email, when I got back, no response, I was like well w.e. and forgot about him. Well he just called me!!!!!!!!!! lol I was so excited, I was like wow! He said he thought I had forgotten him and asked when am I coming to Africa, I said when i'm able, he said how about I just send you the itinerary!!!