hopeful
Well-Known Member
Does this make sense? There's someone who gets an A++++ for being emotionally supportive and available and devoted. But I find myself saying, "That's nice, but I'm looking for more pragmatic things like a secure career (not necessarily a lot of money, but stable)." I know it's not an either-or, but I just feel like I'd happily take less emotional involvement for a better practical fit.
ETA: He quit a master's midway because it wasn't his passion. Then he was let go of two positions after that because the employers didn't think he was a good fit. He claimed they were micromanaging him, but also said he felt like he shouldn't have to answer for the decisions he made.
I'm trying to decide if this is something I can try and talk to him about or if I need to KIM. I don't believe in trying to teach or change grown men. But I've seen patience ultimately work out in other situations. Hmm..
First of all, believe me, you want both, emotional support and security/stability. Second, IME it is very difficult to get a man to be ambitious and focused if he is not naturally. Some things are easier for a guy to change and some things are worth overlooking or compromising on. This is not one of those things. He sounds flighty to me. What will talking to him do? All he will do is either defend himself or promise to change and then continue to be who he is. I know lots of women who marry men like this and it rarely ends well for the woman. Now the men, they do them while the woman spends years fretting and worrying about every little thing from finances to their future, and being jealous of women who married more ambitious men. But that's jmho. My advice, accept him for who he is or KIM.