***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***
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sky_blu
Well-Known Member
LOL it was late...didn't even realize I hit enter...I was trying to say he was an absolute gentleman
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
I looove retail therapy. I might have a spending problem. The man I marry needs to be miser. I need a frickin Scrooge.
I do too. For some reason I am greatly comforted at grocery stores and big box stores like Wal-Mart.
Nothing expensive, but all that little stuff adds up. I definitely need a saver.I do too. For some reason I am greatly comforted at grocery stores and big box stores like Wal-Mart.
hopeful
Well-Known Member
(((hugs))) Sorry you are feeling down and hope those feelings leave you quickly. Whether he recognized it or not, you are still a lovable, beautiful woman.
RoundEyedGirl504
Well-Known Member
me too, I am really on a year long hiatus barring something really wonderful coming along.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
He said we met May 13, 2004.....why does he know this?
On Thursday he offered to pay for school because he thinks I need to find something I love...why does he care?
Today after baby cuz's recital her took my whole family out to a nice restaurant...idk why
When walking to the car I joked about it being cold and he took his coat off and put it around me...... He must have been freezing. I was just walking 15ft. to my car, I had on a coat and scarf, I would have survived.
He wants to go pick out an xmas present for my mom on tuesday.... why? he barely even know this chick
He keeps talking about marriage and children and respects my lil old fashioned hangups.... why? I don't even put out
His parents are cool....IDK, but I remember a couple years ago when they were almost getting a divorce
What I call flippin out--in reference to my behavior--he thinks is harmless and cute....why? I may not go apesh*t or let off verbal assassination machine guns, but it's still not nice; The few times I feel pushed to call him or a man a "jerk" or "a$$hole" out loud make me feel bad. Why give me passes on stuff?
Apparently some of my vices bother him and he is determined to "break me out of bad habits".... why do you insist on being captain save-a-hoe? I'm a perpetual HAM
And last but not least, he wants to go to set up a date for the shooting range in two weeks.... is he crazy? why was he paying attention to my nonsense to take me seriously? and why does he want to give me a weapon??????
IDK.
I probably should love this one. maybe even marry him. I hate making decisions. I wish someone else could do this for me.....
I'm prob the worst girl ever he should like/fall for. Why? What's wrong with this man? Let's see how bad I royally **** this one up........
On Thursday he offered to pay for school because he thinks I need to find something I love...why does he care?
Today after baby cuz's recital her took my whole family out to a nice restaurant...idk why
When walking to the car I joked about it being cold and he took his coat off and put it around me...... He must have been freezing. I was just walking 15ft. to my car, I had on a coat and scarf, I would have survived.
He wants to go pick out an xmas present for my mom on tuesday.... why? he barely even know this chick
He keeps talking about marriage and children and respects my lil old fashioned hangups.... why? I don't even put out
His parents are cool....IDK, but I remember a couple years ago when they were almost getting a divorce
What I call flippin out--in reference to my behavior--he thinks is harmless and cute....why? I may not go apesh*t or let off verbal assassination machine guns, but it's still not nice; The few times I feel pushed to call him or a man a "jerk" or "a$$hole" out loud make me feel bad. Why give me passes on stuff?
Apparently some of my vices bother him and he is determined to "break me out of bad habits".... why do you insist on being captain save-a-hoe? I'm a perpetual HAM
And last but not least, he wants to go to set up a date for the shooting range in two weeks.... is he crazy? why was he paying attention to my nonsense to take me seriously? and why does he want to give me a weapon??????
IDK.
I probably should love this one. maybe even marry him. I hate making decisions. I wish someone else could do this for me.....
I'm prob the worst girl ever he should like/fall for. Why? What's wrong with this man? Let's see how bad I royally **** this one up........
aribell
formerly nicola.kirwan
Does this make sense? There's someone who gets an A++++ for being emotionally supportive and available and devoted. But I find myself saying, "That's nice, but I'm looking for more pragmatic things like a secure career (not necessarily a lot of money, but stable)." I know it's not an either-or, but I just feel like I'd happily take less emotional involvement for a better practical fit.
ETA: He quit a master's midway because it wasn't his passion. Then he was let go of two positions after that because the employers didn't think he was a good fit. He claimed they were micromanaging him, but also said he felt like he shouldn't have to answer for the decisions he made.
I'm trying to decide if this is something I can try and talk to him about or if I need to KIM. I don't believe in trying to teach or change grown men.
But I've seen patience ultimately work out in other situations. Hmm..
ETA: He quit a master's midway because it wasn't his passion. Then he was let go of two positions after that because the employers didn't think he was a good fit. He claimed they were micromanaging him, but also said he felt like he shouldn't have to answer for the decisions he made.
I'm trying to decide if this is something I can try and talk to him about or if I need to KIM. I don't believe in trying to teach or change grown men.
But I've seen patience ultimately work out in other situations. Hmm..
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ScorpioBeauty09
Well-Known Member
The right guy for me is out there. I will meet him when God wants me to. Until then I've got lots to keep me busy. I've finally come to terms with that.
I will meet him when God wants me to. Until then I've got lots to keep me busy. I've finally come to terms with that.
Softerlove
New Member
I'm adjusting. Didn't know I would make it to two weeks and be okay, so this is resolving. I hope that I will be fully okay with the end of our relationship soon, because you really were not that great, especially when you turned.
I really need to get it together fully so that I don't ruin my holidays.
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
I really need to get it together fully so that I don't ruin my holidays.
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Does this make sense? There's someone who gets an A++++ for being emotionally supportive and available and devoted. But I find myself saying, "That's nice, but I'm looking for more pragmatic things like a secure career (not necessarily a lot of money, but stable)." I know it's not an either-or, but I just feel like I'd happily take less emotional involvement for a better practical fit.
ETA: He quit a master's midway because it wasn't his passion. Then he was let go of two positions after that because the employers didn't think he was a good fit. He claimed they were micromanaging him, but also said he felt like he shouldn't have to answer for the decisions he made.
I'm trying to decide if this is something I can try and talk to him about or if I need to KIM. I don't believe in trying to teach or change grown men.
Really, I need both. I feel that I need an emotionally involved man along with the other stuff. My FH is more like what you described wanting. He says I bring out his emotional side more. I'm glad.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
I did my vision board for 2012 yesterday. I put a few pics of black women on dates on there, but nothing actually marriage related. I do want to keep myself open to meeting someone but I really think this year needs to be about me and my personal development. I know how I am, I have a tendency to get so caught up being someone else's cheerleader that my stuff gets put on the back burner. I can't afford to do that anymore.
alwaysinchrist
New Member
everything good so far...but only time will tell......
Softerlove
New Member
Do you want to be back together? It depends on your and his intention. If its just sex to the both of you-ok. If either wants more-no.
:http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/casual-relationships-all-the-fringe-benefits-of-a-relationship-without-the-actual-relationship/
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
When I ended my 9 month drought after me and my last bf split, it was with an ex. We hadn't been together in like 8 years or something like that, I had ZERO romantic feelings for him and I didn't really want to be bothered with someone new- emotionally I still wasn't ready to get back out there.
You'll probably get a lot of "nays", as most people don't advocate dealing with exes, but I understand where you're coming from.
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
Yes, @MzLady78 is right.....and here's your first one... NOOOOOOOOOO dont do it.
No but seriously been there done that...it does not work. It creates more ambiguity. I hate ambiguity in relationships.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Yes, @MzLady78 is right.....and here's your first one... NOOOOOOOOOO dont do it.
No but seriously been there done that...it does not work.
I knew it!
It worked in my case, but again, I don't know if that's because it had been so long since we were in a relationship and there really wasn't anything there as far as feelings. Not to mention I found him completely undesirable as a mate because there were certain things he was still into that I didn't want any part of. So, we did what we did and kept it moving.
CarefreeinChicago
Well-Known Member
I want my ex back so bad! I emailed him saturday after not talking for months. Everything that was tear us apart is fixed not and it just seems so bitter sweet to have all the good stuff happening and he's not here. He was there for all the crappy parts of the last two years. He should get to enjoy the good parts. This has been the worst hurt ever.
It scares me that I can be so cold inside sometimes. Where did all my warm love go? I think my love is a bit scared, she's there somewhere hiding for the cold. Come out, come out whereever you are. We (me and him) could really need you right now...Feeling cold inside, he feels it too... sigh.
Softerlove
New Member
I hope that this goes well for you, but be open for happiness and pain. I was/getting out of that boat and found this helpful:
http://www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/its-just-christmasthe-holidays-stay-off-the-relationshipdrama-crack/
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
I knew it!
It worked in my case, but again, I don't know if that's because it had been so long since we were in a relationship and there really wasn't anything there as far as feelings. Not to mention I found him completely undesirable as a mate because there were certain things he was still into that I didn't want any part of. So, we did what we did and kept it moving.
Yep, that's key to not getting caught back up in feelings
...I think she may want him back though.
MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Yep, that's key to not getting caught back up in feelings
Ok, so somehow I read her post as if you are sure you're not getting back together, but I see that she said if you are not sure you're getting back together.
In this case, I would agree it's probably not a good idea.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
i guess i am being ignored this morning. i hope this week doesn't go like last week.... it just doesn't make sense to me. trying to deal with ex-spouses and new mates is crazy. i flip out over his ex one week, he flips out over mine the next. why are we allowing these miserable folks consume our relationship?
karezone
Well-Known Member
He wants to get back together... but I don't. All I want to do is color, but I don't want to take the effort to meet someone new.
H
H
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MzLady78
Well-Known Member
Gotcha. I probably wouldn't then.
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