***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***
- Thread starter Sly
- Start date
- Status
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
barbiesocialite This is so open and honest. Thanks for sharing. I share mz lady's sentiments in that I wish I could close some parts of me off, but it always seems like you're proud to be able to brush guys off so easily and almost cynical about if they can deal with you. You're just like my bff so I understand
i am sorta happy that it's difficult for them to get to me but at time it's also sorta disheartening because they really can't get to me, meaning they have no access
IDK, I don't like being so detached sometimes, like at my grandfathers funeral, my grandmother never cried or showed any emotion (they were together since my gma was 18, she's now 71). At my parents breakup or when my father comes around chasing after my mother, my mom just disappears and shows no emotion (together since 19, still not divorced although not together, my mom is almost 47). IDK, it's hard for me not APPEAR heartless, even though, truth is, I'm always feeling emotions--matter of fact, every emotion. That's why I don't show them to men as much, there are too many of them and my emotions tend to overwhelm other people with their intensity......
Softerlove
New Member
"Any woman/man who spends her time and energy on an Emotionally Unavailible Man/woman is sending a sign that she is happy to accept the crumbs and settle for less than she deserves. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women out there like this, so there are some men who will never find the need to change their ways... Stop settling!"
I've stopped setteling. Thank you GOD for delivering me. I wil pray for some peace for those still in this challenge.
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
I've stopped setteling. Thank you GOD for delivering me. I wil pray for some peace for those still in this challenge.
From MyTouch 4G...On which animated Gifs may not be seen
deltadreamland
Well-Known Member
. I make strong connections with other people, but unforunately it's easy for me to change my mind, detach and leave them. My feelings are very surface in what I am able to display to others, regardless how I feel deep down
The bolded...that is all me as well. But having that trait helps me to emotionally dismiss myself quickly, painlessly, and easily without being hurt. I don't have to exercise it much, but when I do, it definitely comes in handy when dealing with jerks.
"How are you able to move on so easily?" I've been asked this question a million times by friends. I always tell them that when you've dealt with bs for so long and certain negative life experiences, you (at least I did) become desensitized to a point. I'm not desensitized to those that REALLY matter in my life-such as family members and close friends, but to those "fly by the night" people...yes, I am.
faithVA
Well-Known Member
The bolded...that is all me as well. But having that trait helps me to emotionally dismiss myself quickly, painlessly, and easily without being hurt. I don't have to exercise it much, but when I do, it definitely comes in handy when dealing with jerks.
"How are you able to move on so easily?" I've been asked this question a million times by friends. I always tell them that when you've dealt with bs for so long and certain negative life experiences, you (at least I did) become desensitized to a point. I'm not desensitized to those that REALLY matter in my life-such as family members and close friends, but to those "fly by the night" people...yes, I am.
I feel you girl. Recognize it for what it is and act accordingly. There a billions of people in the word, Next!
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
The bolded...that is all me as well. But having that trait helps me to emotionally dismiss myself quickly, painlessly, and easily without being hurt. I don't have to exercise it much, but when I do, it definitely comes in handy when dealing with jerks.
"How are you able to move on so easily?" I've been asked this question a million times by friends. I always tell them that when you've dealt with bs for so long and certain negative life experiences, you (at least I did) become desensitized to a point. I'm not desensitized to those that REALLY matter in my life-such as family members and close friends, but to those "fly by the night" people...yes, I am.
deltadreamland
unfortunately I'm sorta that way, albeit unintentionally, with everyone. I thank g-d for my friends and loved ones, bc if they didnt hold on to me, I'd simply let them go. Hence the reason why I don't save numbers in m phone; I think I have about 10 at the moment-half are carryouts and doc/dentist offices ( and I have 2 cell phones and 2 land lines)
IDK. On one hand, that's simply who I am as a person so anyone that wants to be in my life will have to learn & adjust accordingly. I do really love my friends and loved ones but I'm insecure & self-protective so I can't show it how they need me to. That said, on the other hand, I do try to work on it but how much I'm willing to work on it at the moment is the problem-- I've specifically allotted on several "Barbie-cares" spots left in my life: my husband and my children. I gotta get there first which is the difficult part, transitioning t and allotting space for a potential bf-to-dh slot....
Theo
New Member
LOL just that with some of these guys, you have to set your self-esteem to the side (as well as your emotional and sexual health) if you want to date them. I'm just not cut out for that.
I mean, if we didn't go out last wk, its cuz you didn't ask me. If we didn't speak last wk, its cuz you didn't call me. Next thing you know, you'll be asking me to carry you up the wedding aisle
I just see women putting themselves through a lot, and to that I say, more power to them. If that's what you want, go get it. But its just not worth it to me. Like I said. I have options.
I mean, I had one girl tell me that she felt that this one dude was "worth herpes", when I told her I wasn't open to pursuing anything with one particular gentleman after I found out (from a VERY reliable source) that he'd burned an acquaintance of mine. Admittedly the dude was in a very lucrative profession, but we're talking about my health at this point.
Granted not all guys are like that, but it takes a long time to find the good ones. Sometimes I'm not sure if its even worth the effort.
Also, I know we put white women and their marriage rates on a pedestal up here, but I'm seeing my white friends put high amounts of effort and take on considerably high levels of personal risk to maintain their relationships. Come age 26, these girls start putting in work.
Thankfully I haven't reached that period of my life yet, but I'm taking notes.
Evolving78
Well-Known Member
i can't wait to see him tonight! he has been at work all day and i can't wait to help him unwind and relax.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
LOL just that with some of these guys, you have to set your self-esteem to the side (as well as your emotional and sexual health) if you want to date them. I'm just not cut out for that.
I mean, if we didn't go out last wk, its cuz you didn't ask me. If we didn't speak last wk, its cuz you didn't call me. Next thing you know, you'll be asking me to carry you up the wedding aisle
I just see women putting themselves through a lot, and to that I say, more power to them. If that's what you want, go get it. But its just not worth it to me. Like I said. I have options.
I mean, I had one girl tell me that she felt that this one dude was "worth herpes", when I told her I wasn't open to pursuing anything with one particular gentleman after I found out (from a VERY reliable source) that he'd burned an acquaintance of mine. Admittedly the dude was in a very lucrative profession, but we're talking about my health at this point.
Granted not all guys are like that, but it takes a long time to find the good ones. Sometimes I'm not sure if its even worth the effort.
Also, I know we put white women and their marriage rates on a pedestal up here, but I'm seeing my white friends put high amounts of effort and take on considerably high levels of personal risk to maintain their relationships. Come age 26, these girls start putting in work.
Thankfully I haven't reached that period of my life yet, but I'm taking notes.
@the bolded da hell?! this can't be life
about the underlined, the women in my family, in addition to more than half of my gfs are married, and i've taken notes, the sacrifice is high....
I don't care that my mother is mad I'm not married yet, oh well
Last edited:
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
Mr. Liberian looks so sexy today.... He keeps taking my phone from me lol.... Forget new dude. Lmao
sooo I just had that 2nd round interview a few minutes ago and I believe it went great. I sure hope the hiring manager feels the same. If I'm chosen, I'll be headed to a beautiful, sunny state this summer!I'll update when I hear back from them
Good luck to you! I seriously mean that.
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
*double post*
now dude is getting on my nerves. I hope he doesn't wanna start talkin everyday. I don't like him llike that
now dude is getting on my nerves. I hope he doesn't wanna start talkin everyday. I don't like him llike that
Last edited:
BobbieDoll
New Member
C@ssandr@
formerly known as "keyawarren"
Ive become tired of not dating, being sexless, and without prospects. I went out...alone...to a bar tonite...and enjoyed myself. Now I have my own met-a-guy-story
I just happened to sit next a dude and after a while I started conversing with him. (too much alcohol in me to remember all the nitty-gritty details right now, lol)...So then he's like "did you like that mango drink" i'm like "yeah, now i'm ready for desert from the menu"....so we chatted some more and then he was like "Oh, umm, i wasn't tryna be nosy about your drink. I'm getting another beer and thought I could buy you another mango whatever" lol.
tee hee hee.
I declined because I have a limit. Anyways.
after awhile he started getting ready to leave so I said "maybe I'll see you around here sometime?"
And he was like "sure, you never know"
I felt rejected.
then he was like "here, take my number. maybe we can go out for drinks, or I can get you another mango whatever" lol
Score!
It was nice just chatting with someone of the opposite sex
I just happened to sit next a dude and after a while I started conversing with him. (too much alcohol in me to remember all the nitty-gritty details right now, lol)...So then he's like "did you like that mango drink" i'm like "yeah, now i'm ready for desert from the menu"....so we chatted some more and then he was like "Oh, umm, i wasn't tryna be nosy about your drink. I'm getting another beer and thought I could buy you another mango whatever" lol.
tee hee hee.
I declined because I have a limit. Anyways.
after awhile he started getting ready to leave so I said "maybe I'll see you around here sometime?"
And he was like "sure, you never know"
I felt rejected.
then he was like "here, take my number. maybe we can go out for drinks, or I can get you another mango whatever" lol
Score!
It was nice just chatting with someone of the opposite sex
Last edited:
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
Yeah!!! Go keyawarren!!
Theo
New Member
Ive become tired of not dating, being sexless, and without prospects. I went out...alone...to a bar tonite...and enjoyed myself. Now I have my own met-a-guy-story
I just happened to sit next a dude and after a while I started conversing with him. (too much alcohol in me to remember all the nitty-gritty details right now, lol)...So then he's like "did you like that mango drink" i'm like "yeah, now i'm ready for desert from the menu"....so we chatted some more and then he was like "Oh, umm, i wasn't tryna be nosy about your drink. I'm getting another beer and thought I could buy you another mango whatever" lol.
tee hee hee.
I declined because I have a limit. Anyways.
after awhile he started getting ready to leave so I said "maybe I'll see you around here sometime?"
And he was like "sure, you never know"
I felt rejected.
then he was like "here, take my number. maybe we can go out for drinks, or I can get you another mango whatever" lol
Score!
It was nice just chatting with someone of the opposite sex
Cute!
naturallygoldie
Well-Known Member
All right.
You've swept me off my feet. You find me refreshing and took a great burden off my chest (thank you). You're all around awesome and your eyes twinkle when you look at me (even when you're having a bad day). You let down your guard with me and I do too. I don't know how you managed to come out of no where and walk into the very center of my heart. If I didn't know any better, I would think that I was made of your rib. That would explain how you know me so well. It's almost as if someone emptied the wants and needs of my heart into yours. We carry on like we've been in love for decades. Something about everything we do seems so familiar...sees so...dare I say? *deep sigh*
It's a lot to deal with love. I've never experienced anything like this...ever. A part of me wants to cherish it forever..but a small part says RUUNNNNNNNNN.
But you're probably expecting that. Yep you are.*sigh* I'm scared. There I said it. I told you that I'm quick to abandon ship. It's just my nature..when I don't understand something or it doesn't match up to my expectations I bolt. You saw me get into my sprinter's stance. On your mark. Get Set. No...
NO? Idk what that small part is but I wasn't going to. I wasn't testing you either. I guess I was testing myself. For a brief moment in time it seemed like the right thing to do, but we both know it isn't. We were right about each other since day one. *sits down and submits fully to God's will*
"What is to be must be, fate we cant control
So, me leave everything unto Jah
Mek him tek control" What am I to do?- Jah Cure
You've swept me off my feet. You find me refreshing and took a great burden off my chest (thank you). You're all around awesome and your eyes twinkle when you look at me (even when you're having a bad day). You let down your guard with me and I do too. I don't know how you managed to come out of no where and walk into the very center of my heart. If I didn't know any better, I would think that I was made of your rib. That would explain how you know me so well. It's almost as if someone emptied the wants and needs of my heart into yours. We carry on like we've been in love for decades. Something about everything we do seems so familiar...sees so...dare I say? *deep sigh*
It's a lot to deal with love. I've never experienced anything like this...ever. A part of me wants to cherish it forever..but a small part says RUUNNNNNNNNN.
But you're probably expecting that. Yep you are.*sigh* I'm scared. There I said it. I told you that I'm quick to abandon ship. It's just my nature..when I don't understand something or it doesn't match up to my expectations I bolt. You saw me get into my sprinter's stance. On your mark. Get Set. No...
NO? Idk what that small part is but I wasn't going to. I wasn't testing you either. I guess I was testing myself. For a brief moment in time it seemed like the right thing to do, but we both know it isn't. We were right about each other since day one. *sits down and submits fully to God's will*
"What is to be must be, fate we cant control
So, me leave everything unto Jah
Mek him tek control" What am I to do?- Jah Cure
CarLiTa
Well-Known Member
I just found something I wrote almost 2 years ago. I am wowed by it. It's about letting go of anger and past hurts, forgiving the self, embracing journeys, growing without judgment and self-conciousness...I've come a long way. 2010 was a year of a lot of emotional turmoil.
In early 2011, I started finding ways to release my negative thoughts and really felt like I was loving life.
Now, in late 2011, I still have some work to do, but my mother said some very important things the other day that both have me thinking and feeling empowered to free myself of these thoughts. The other day, I discovered that I still had an email from a couple of years ago, and the material in it would have made me so upset. But I felt nothing! I was surprised that I still had it, and I was pleased to delete it for good.
I want to continue this letting go process in 2012... shedding bitterness, being more secure in my emotional thoughts (I'm a very rational person, and I feel confident when I make rational decisions... but when it comes to the emotional space, I can be a mess). I have 2 goals to accomplish in that arena.
BGT
Well-Known Member
Ive become tired of not dating, being sexless, and without prospects. I went out...alone...to a bar tonite...and enjoyed myself. Now I have my own met-a-guy-story
I just happened to sit next a dude and after a while I started conversing with him. (too much alcohol in me to remember all the nitty-gritty details right now, lol)...So then he's like "did you like that mango drink" i'm like "yeah, now i'm ready for desert from the menu"....so we chatted some more and then he was like "Oh, umm, i wasn't tryna be nosy about your drink. I'm getting another beer and thought I could buy you another mango whatever" lol.
tee hee hee.
I declined because I have a limit. Anyways.
after awhile he started getting ready to leave so I said "maybe I'll see you around here sometime?"
And he was like "sure, you never know"
I felt rejected.
then he was like "here, take my number. maybe we can go out for drinks, or I can get you another mango whatever" lol
Score!
It was nice just chatting with someone of the opposite sex
He didn't ask for your number? So you have his number? So you can be the dude and call him and he has the power over answering you?
Keshieshimmer
Active Member
This is so pathetic. I must be thinking too much and secretly I want to be alone. This guy is wonderful, but...I am just not feeling it. My conversations with him even seem strained with him. ugh. I am feeling secretly pressured by him because he is very touchy, calls me sweetheart often, and is very vocal how he feels about me. I think he can fall in love with me. Mind you we have 'known' each other for less than a week.
My guy friend told me he could be the one and I freaked out.
My guy friend told me he could be the one and I freaked out.
SUPER SWEET
Well-Known Member
That's all I gots to say.....
frostydoll
Well-Known Member
I'm really happy for you, you seem to happy lately from ur posts
barbiesocialite I am really happy and learning to embrace everything that I've wanted just not at the same time
It's very overwhelming to realize you're getting exactly what you asked for, but ALL at one time. My mom really thought I was gonna be runaway bride because I was flipping out and he was calm as a cucumber... I don't handle major changes well... in the last 6 months I've become a human incubator, become engaged, moved in w/ a man for the first time, and gotten married all while teaching 5 classes and finishing PhD coursework...
ChasingBliss
Well-Known Member
@chocolat79
naw girl, I'm a borderline all day errday (after researching the therapy methods of my past shrinks I realized that's what they were diagnosing
this makes me feel bad about my horrible idea (where my homegirl told me to 'take a seat') of marrying my new guy friend as a starter husband.....
It's so funny you said this because I learned in school (clinical sw) that this is one of the things a borderline personality is likely to do, and then confront the therapist with it
I dont care what you are girl, I do admire you. But I know that you struggle with things as you said here. We all do. If we could all give each other little pieces of the other (the perceived good pieces
) to complete our perfect ways, we'd all be happy eh?
Last edited:
JayAnn0513
I make 30 look good!
barbiesocialite I am really happy and learning to embrace everything that I've wanted just not at the same time
My mom really thought I was gonna be runaway bride because I was flipping out and he was calm as a cucumber... I don't handle major changes well... in the last 6 months I've become a human incubator, become engaged, moved in w/ a man for the first time, and gotten married all while teaching 5 classes and finishing PhD coursework...
Girl you have been busy!!!! Isn't it amazing how life happens sometimes?
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
It's so funny you said this because I learned in school (clinical sw) that this is one of the things a borderline personality is likely to do, and then confront the therapist with it
I dont care what you are girl, I do admire you. But I know that you struggle with things as you said here. We all do. If we could all give each other little peaces of the other (the perceived good pieces
well alrighty, apparently I'm walkin & quacking all over the place, not very covert I see
eta: i have an appt coming up and I was planning to fuss out my shrink like "you tricked me! you never told me!!!!!!" ChasingBliss, I really do appreciate your kind words in this thread, you've made me smile more than once. This post gave me a great feeling to start the day!
Good Morning!
Last edited:
barbiesocialite
Well-Known Member
barbiesocialite I am really happy and learning to embrace everything that I've wanted just not at the same time
My mom really thought I was gonna be runaway bride because I was flipping out and he was calm as a cucumber... I don't handle major changes well... in the last 6 months I've become a human incubator, become engaged, moved in w/ a man for the first time, and gotten married all while teaching 5 classes and finishing PhD coursework...
frostydoll
It's amazing how life works out sometimes. Esp when you least expect it!
btw, you and ur DH make the cutest couple and you looks so purrty in your pics. just glowing all over the place which ya big ole belly
.....
Last edited:
frostydoll
Well-Known Member
Girl I'm so busy that it feels like my pregnancy is zooming by, but apparently that's a good thing
frostydoll
It's amazing how life works out sometimes. Esp when you least expect it!
btw, you and ur DH make the cutest couple and you looks so purrty in your pics. just glowing all over the place which ya big ole belly
Aww thank you does this mean you came back to facebook?! Yes it is super amazing and I'm just trying to take it all in without freaking out. Feeling super out of control is not the business...
- Status
Similar threads
- Locked
- Poll
