***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

Status
Not open for further replies.
Got a lot of raised eyebrow looks due to today's outfit--deep purple silk blouse, pencil skirt, and patent leather kitten heels. A girl I don't even know touched my arm and told me I looked nice. I'm trying to get comfortable with all the attention because I know that my natural tendency is to try to make myself invisible if/when I know people are looking at me.
 
Mortons said:
I'm trying to turn all of my feelings into action. I make sure I do my daily affirmations (I'm gonna tape them to my closet door tonight) and each day I make an effort to do something that will better myself in the long term. Today I start my new savings account specifically for my home :) I think I will start posting these in the circle thread.

You're an awesome chick MzLady I would marry you girl :giggle:
Click to expand...

Aww, this totally made my day! :lol:

I need to participate more in the Circle thread. I do find it to be really helpful, I just suck at keeping up with it.

hopeful said:
Have you found a good therapist yet? Or even a life coach. I think you just need more one on one support to help you move forward.
Click to expand...

I haven't looked. For awhile, things seemed like they were getting better, then last week, everything just started going to hell. Work issues, screwing up my family's plans to go to FL for Thanksgiving, then coming to realization I couldn't take this situation with ole boy anymore. I wanted to believe I could handle things on my own, but maybe I can't. I get all gung ho and "*** everything else, I'm gonna handle my business", and it works for awhile. But as soon as something goes wrong, it's like I'm back to square one.
 
hopeful said:
Just fall back, way back. Don't say anything. Start detaching emotionally and see what happens.
Click to expand...

I'm trying to do just that, I really am. However, I've been holding in how I feel about this for so long to the point where I feel like I have to speak on it.

I just feel that not sticking to your word is completely disrespectful and selfish.
 
How does 5 years pass without being in a relationship? Is it just being busy or seriously not meeting the right people.
 
Incognitus said:
Ladies, I don't know what it is lately, but I've been getting male attention left and right. I'm in Cali for a few days (LA and Anaheim area). It started on the plane ride, continued at the airport. Tonight I went to dinner at the hotel restaurant, and sat in the bar area. The bartender flirted with me all night. When my bill arrived, he only charged me for my meal and none of the extras (appetizers, dessert, 3 mixed drinks). Heck, I didn't even plan on appetizers or dessert....or even 1 drink. He was just so darn persistent. Plus, I was there alone and actually enjoyed the attention. The whole time, he's complimenting me left and right---telling me how beautiful I am, etc..

Then, a group of men from UK or Ireland (I'm bad with accents) came in to orders beers for the poolside. Later on, 1 of them came back for 2 more
bottle. As he's waiting, he strikes up a conversation with me and then tells me that I'm more than welcome to join them outside.

Lately, I've been feeling very crummy about myself (re: weight gain, feeling scruffy, etc). Very recently, I decided to get out of my funk. So, tonight, my hair and nails were pretty and my attire was quite flattering. Anyhow, bartender asked me out to dinner tomorrow evening. Then, one of the "accent" dudes asked me if I wanted to join them tomorrow.

Maybe I'm wrong, but my first thought was that he was looking for a vacation hookup, and that the bartender was looking for a "tourist" hookup. Am I on point with that?

Nonetheless, it felt great being showered with compliments and attention!
Click to expand...

IT's Cali girl....Cali....people there are so friendly and not afraid to express their feelings (well that's been my experience)
 
-PYT said:
How does 5 years pass without being in a relationship? Is it just being busy or seriously not meeting the right people.
Click to expand...

IDK about 5 years but I've been single for nearly a year and it's because I refuse to date someone with whom I do not share core values. Several decent guys have showed interest.
 
you're gonna be my 2nd husband, not my first remember.....then I'm gonna divorce you for my 3rd :lachen:

EDIT: "if we get married we won't divorce. If we marry I'd love you forever thru whatever." --awwww charming m*fo.... he has a way with words for sure.....good luck holding onto me homie lmao i kid i kid
 
Last edited:
MzLady78 said:
...
I haven't looked. For awhile, things seemed like they were getting better, then last week, everything just started going to hell. Work issues, screwing up my family's plans to go to FL for Thanksgiving, then coming to realization I couldn't take this situation with ole boy anymore. I wanted to believe I could handle things on my own, but maybe I can't. I get all gung ho and "*** everything else, I'm gonna handle my business", and it works for awhile. But as soon as something goes wrong, it's like I'm back to square one.
Click to expand...

This is what kept happening to me. It's a vicious cycle and it's likely self-sabotage. I asked the therapist what was going on and he said it's like a tape that keeps playing over and over in your head, but it's in your subconscious so you don't "hear" it and don't even realize it's playing. That's why it's so hard to stop it from playing on your own. Whatever the tape is saying: you are worthless, you don't deserve happiness, whatever it is saying informs your thoughts, feelings, and actions. I am much better now:yep:, still healing but making progress and accomplishing things I could never accomplish before.
 
Last edited:
He's baaack! :nono:

Just say no, Kat. NO. U can do it... :ohwell:

I think I need some motivation. I'm better off without him. He doesn't care about me the way I deserve. He's lame. He's not on my level. I need to learn from my past in order to improve my future...

N-O NO! N-O NO! :weird:

Off to phone a friend for support :lachen:
 
shasha8685 said:
I'm trying to do just that, I really am. However, I've been holding in how I feel about this for so long to the point where I feel like I have to speak on it.

I just feel that not sticking to your word is completely disrespectful and selfish.
Click to expand...

If you don't want to deal with him then move on. If you want to give him another chance then speak to him matter of factly, "You said you would do this and that but you aren't. If you don't want to or are not able to do this and that, no problem, it's your life to live as you choose, it's just not going to work for me and if things continue this way I will have to move on." No need to say he is rude or disrespectful, he's just living his life and if the way he functions bothers you then you gotta find someone you're more compatible with. Bottomline is how he behaves is a choice and you are not his mama so you should not be reminding him to do these things like he is a child. JMHO.
 
-PYT said:
How does 5 years pass without being in a relationship? Is it just being busy or seriously not meeting the right people.
Click to expand...

The latter.

For me, I've had plenty of flings in the 5 years, just nothing serious. Some that I was fine with it not going anywhere, others that I wasn't, but I tried to convince myself that I was.
 
hopeful said:
This is what kept happening to me. It's a vicious cycle and it's likely self-sabotage. I asked the therapist what was going on and he said it's like a tape that keeps playing over and over in your head, but it's in your subconscious so you don't "hear" it and don't even realize it's playing. That's why it's so hard to stop it from playing on your own. Whatever the tape is saying: you are worthless, you don't deserve happiness, whatever it is saying informs your thoughts, feelings, and actions. I am much better now:yep:, still healing but making progress and accomplishing things I could never accomplish before.
Click to expand...

Yep, that sounds about right. *sigh*

It's sad, because I really think I have the potential to do big things. I just can't stay positive and focused long enough to work at them. Too busy wasting time on bulls***. SMH.
 
-PYT said:
How does 5 years pass without being in a relationship? Is it just being busy or seriously not meeting the right people.
Click to expand...

-PYT I think it's a combination of both for me, it has been about 4 years since being in a relationship for me. I am hoping that will change once I move to a new city!
 
MzLady78 said:
Aww, this totally made my day! :lol:

I need to participate more in the Circle thread. I do find it to be really helpful, I just suck at keeping up with it.



I haven't looked. For awhile, things seemed like they were getting better, then last week, everything just started going to hell. Work issues, screwing up my family's plans to go to FL for Thanksgiving, then coming to realization I couldn't take this situation with ole boy anymore. I wanted to believe I could handle things on my own, but maybe I can't. I get all gung ho and "*** everything else, I'm gonna handle my business", and it works for awhile. But as soon as something goes wrong, it's like I'm back to square one.
Click to expand...

I agree with hopeful. Therapy does help; especially when you can find a good one. The sadness does eventually go away..sooner for some than others. *cyberhug*
 
MzLady78 said:
Yep, that sounds about right. *sigh*

It's sad, because I really think I have the potential to do big things. I just can't stay positive and focused long enough to work at them. Too busy wasting time on bulls***. SMH.
Click to expand...

This WAS a huge issue with me as well. But thanks to my therapist, I've improved with the help of meds. A whole work day would pass and I wouldn't have accomplished a thing...and I'm a teacher. :look: I had to make a change. So for the past two years, I've made great strides thanks to the meds. And meds are not for everyone, but they cleared my foggy mind, sadness, and depression in a major way. :look:
 
Invited to SO's parent's house Saturday to BBQ and watch the big game: LSU vs Bama. Don't know if I'm going.

Geaux Tigers! :D
 
One of these days, it will be my turn..I couldnt have experienced all this heartache and disappointment for nothing..There HAS to be light at the end of the tunnel, right?

Sent from my Sprint HTC Evo using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
barbiesocialite said:
you're gonna be my 2nd husband, not my first remember.....then I'm gonna divorce you for my 3rd :lachen:

EDIT: "if we get married we won't divorce. If we marry I'd love you forever thru whatever." --awwww charming m*fo.... he has a way with words for sure.....good luck holding onto me homie lmao i kid i kid
Click to expand...

He sounds like the man a lot of women are looking for :ohwell:
 
-PYT said:
He sounds like the man a lot of women are looking for :ohwell:
Click to expand...

probably... he's the good ole G-d-fearing black man with a degree and no kids, doesn't drink, smoke or curse.... he's downfall is that he's shallow, too busy chasing after the ex-d*ke swearing like a sailor that makes him go to the liquor store on his way over and tries to convince him to take a puff of the bubbler (bong) :lachen:

he's good for now, at the moment I like him. But if we don't work out, I have no doubt there will be a plenty of women tossing panties at him left n right... good for them, they can have him lol

He isn't the only fish in the sea, I meet plenty like him lol......
 
Saw Zdubs today in the cafeteria while eating lunch with a friend. (Not that that's a big deal; I see Zdubs almost every day, lol.) He was getting water and the drink fountains were right in front of our table. He stopped by and said hey but that was pretty much it since my friend was there.

Tomorrow is immuno lab, so it'll be the first time we've really been in each other's presence since last week when I was PMSing and kind of snappy with him to the point where he told me "I don't know what this negativity is about, but it can go back where it came from". But I am in a good mood this week, so no need for anyone to take cover, lol.
 
awwww he was singing Stevie Wonder to me......he makes it difficult to be stern with him, hard not to slip up with this one.... reminder to self: *must stay focused* *keep your eyes on the prize*
 
I am texting you, trying to tell you how I feel about you...in a round about way because I can't bring myself to say it because I can't deal with rejection and I'm pretty sure that's what's waiting on the other side of my confession. I've never been so scared....

ETA: and I chickened out. I told you to disregard everything I said and I'm sitting here fighting back tears.

Sent from my pretty red Inspire, excuse the typos!
 
Babe, is that black smoke supposed to be billowing into the bedroom? Are you..fanning a towel by the smoke alarm? hmm. Did you just turn on a fan? Oh, yeah. I hear it.

Did you think I was still asleep through this mayhem????

Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using T-Mobile G2
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

SheenaVee
  • Locked
  • Poll Poll
Request Can I Create An Off Topic Random Thoughts Thread?
Replies
21
Views
4K
Nazaneen
N
kweenameena
LHCF First Date Look Book
2 3 4
Replies
114
Views
5K
caribeandiva
caribeandiva
SurferBabe
  • Sticky
Thread for the heartbroken
40 41 42
Replies
1K
Views
51K
PatDM'T
PatDM'T
nappystorm
Random Thoughts
2 3 4
Replies
94
Views
8K
Eisani
E
Naturefreegirl
Can A Relationship Work If .........
Replies
11
Views
307
Naturefreegirl
Naturefreegirl
Back
Top