***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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I hope when I do get married my DH is involved with the kids and the upkeeping of the home. I couldn't imagine doing everything by myself. It's not fair.
 
locabouthair said:
:lol: I hear some stories and I'm like that's why women end up on snapped.:nono:
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Seriously!

I'll say that I've been lucky in the sense that most of my situations haven't worked out due to not being on the same page as far as where the relationship was going. That's on me and I take responsibility for that. But I don't know what I would do if I was a relationship and some of the issues I read about on here came up. :nono:
 
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” ~Proverbs 4:23

Time for a emotional & spiritual fitness check. Too much instant gratification. Boundaries must be re-established.

Current Focus/Goal: Mindfullness & Self-Discipline.

Maybe I should start with that yoga class I've been avoiding....
 
MzLady78 said:
Sometimes I read stuff on here and I'm like "I really might be better off by myself".

People are trifling as hell, and I'm too cute to go to jail. :look: :lol:
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Sometimes when I read stuff on here, it makes me want to "service" DH everyday to include the days me pisses me off.

Him: 3 days in a ROW?! Dang, WTH did I do other than hit jackpot!
Me: Baby don't even worry about it, just lay back and relax. Just chalk it up to me being thankful. :lol:
 
Seeking8Rights said:
Sometimes when I read stuff on here, it makes me want to "service" DH everyday to include the days me pisses me off.

Him: 3 days in a ROW?! Dang, WTH did I do other than hit jackpot!
Me: Baby don't even worry about it, just lay back and relax. Just chalk it up to me being thankful. :lol:
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Too funny. :lol:
 
SUNSHINE BABY said:
He supplies my needs.....materially......never physically. I've never gotten physical with him. He says he loves me but i don't love him neither do i see a future with him

4 kids, 2 baby mamas and 1 Divorced wife.....wtf. I'm smarter than to get emotional much more physical with you. I hate it!

I need to end this!!!!
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Don't do it. Trust me on this one. I thought I was smarter than that too but once feelings come into play, it's all downhill from there. And despite your best intentions, they very well could.
 
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SUNSHINE BABY said:
I wont get emotional, i never intended t from the get go.....i'm not even in the least attracted to him.....there are too many issues with him.

With all dat.....hi wants me to have a child for him......HELL FRIGGIN NO!!! did i mention, i have a very hot & sexy bfriend.

my best intentions are for myself!
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I am so confused. Are you saying you have a hot boyfriend and a sugar daddy?
 
I was telling him about how I started emailing the people I want to write recommendations for me for this residency, and he said "I don't know if you know this but you motivate me to do better, babe". I thought that was sweet considering how all over the place I feel 90% of the time. He's going back to school and it never really occurred to me that maybe I had something to do with that.
 
I need some affection in my life. A kiss... a hug.... some cuddling; heck I'd even take some hand holding at this point! My body yearns to feel something. Sigh....
 
why haven't I heard from you today?
you wouldn't take me out on a second date and call me after I left to make sure I got home ok, if you weren't interested right?
you wouldn't have hugged me a little tighter when we said our goodbyes right?..... >_<
 
The other day I was thinking that I really want a guy who is afrocentric. I was having trouble falling asleep and decided to write out a list of adjectives and qualities I would like... and afrocentric just seemed to pop into my head.

I don't know why I feel that it matters... I just know that I really enjoy conversations with black men when their thoughts consider "the people," the black race, whatever.


I don't know how that plays into my being open to other races... He'd have to be down to study or experience Afro-rooted cultures:yep:

I've been called afrocentric by some of the guys I've dated. One Asian one would buy me earthtone bracelets and other jewelry :lol: and one time gave me a horrific looking earring/necklace set because he thought it was more "me" compared to the rest :lol: I hated it.
Another guy I hung out with (African-American) said that when he met me he thought I looked very afrocentric. I'm puzzled why... bc when he met me, I was wearing a silk top, jeans, heels:lol: maybe it's bc my natural hair was fluffed out and that I was dancing salsa :confused:

But hm, yeah, I want someone with an interest in the earth and in African roots. I find that so intriguing.
 
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FtrDrO said:
I need some affection in my life. A kiss... a hug.... some cuddling; heck I'd even take some hand holding at this point! My body yearns to feel something. Sigh....
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And here you have it. Exactly how I've been feeling. It's coming upon a year that none of the above has happened. And trust no one is on the horizon. The last man to hold my hand was the emo Asian kid that did my manicure a couple of months ago :ohwell::lachen:
 
CarLiTa said:
Tonight, I walk into my kitchen, and my roommate has a guest... this guy whom I met my first year in college... he expressed interest, but he wanted to walk me to my dorm after he'd met me, and I declined. He later friended me on FB and invited me to a football game with him. I accepted, and then I declined :ohwell: bc I was more attracted to someone else and didn't want to lead him on :rolleyes:

We remained acquaintances on FB, but didn't communicate much after that. Well, he's done really for himself. Finishing a Master's in a hard science, considering a PhD, was telling us about buying land in his home country:eek: with his savings from college, and wanting to start a school back home:eek:
Pretty much a lot of the things I also want to do. He said he would call me once he starts his school, given my current work:lol:

Made me think about all the guys I passed up in college. Didn't take the time to get to know them bc I was focusing all my emotional energy on my ex, the womanizer who hid his wreckless and "colorful" past from me bc he knew that if I knew, I wouldn't date him, and then confessed that ish to me at (unknowingly) the worst possible time.

Not only have these guys done well for themselves, but they also seem to have much gentler spirits than did my ex... and I don't know if that's my outsider, imaginative perspective.

I also feel that I understand myself a lot better now, and having had those experiences with my last SO (some amazing, some heartbreaking) have taught me a lot about myself and the kind of character that I am looking for.

Sometimes I wonder what my relationship experience might have been like had I continued conversing with some of these guys... Logistically, there's no way to find out even now... as, alas, they're all mostly in my ex's friend/acquaintance group:ohwell:
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It's less than a week later, and the guy in my quoted post has spent another couple of hours in our apartment since... notably last weekend when I thought I sprained my foot.

Tonight, he's asking my roommate about me. She calls me over and she's like: so-and-so is asking about you...
I'm like: asking what?
Her: just... about you :lol: He's asking if I like you as a roommate, and if I think he should ask you out
Me: Oh...:look: I mean... I don't know, he asked you, so you should tell him
Her: Well...:yep:
Me: #awkwardshrug, Sureee... this is awkward:lol:


How does this fit into my not wanting to date right now? I know he's very active... I'd much rather get invited to hang out with him as a group, then to go on a date-date.
 
Is relieved my SO is not opposed to us not cohabitating anymore. I need space. I love him, but I no longer see marriage in the NEAR future and I'm tired of playing house. I thought he'd be upset, but he agrees! I AM GETTING MY OWN SPACE!! I'm beyond elated. Yay!

Sent from my Droid Incredible
 
Well, as soon as I typed that, I thought: well, why not relay that message to her? :lol:
So I said: Tell him that... I'm assessing guys in group settings... so, if he'd like to spend time with me, a group event would be great... but don't relay it like that:lol:

She said she understood:yep:

In other men news:
-Tomorrow, I am meeting up after work with this guy that I don't know well. He is very friendly and cool, but we haven't interacted much at all... which is why I was surprised that he asked me if we could grab drinks after work this week, since we work close to one another. This may be a good way to network, so I said sure. I just don't remember us having more than 2-3 one-on-one conversations.
 
His grandma died this weekend when I was down there. I was glad to be there for him and his mom. He was acting very normal, but now that i'm home he's revealed that he can't focus on much so I know he's hurting. I wish I could be with him :sad:
 
I love this man so much. He is an amazing lover. My problem? This dude snoring prevent me from spending the rest of the night in his arms. I actually slept in his car one night and came back in to wake him up so he could get ready for the airport. When I tell him about it, he laughs and tells me to snore too! :(
 
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I love how we're in the middle of an argument, but yet you're still driving to my house as a surprise. And luckily we both apologized before you got here. :lol:
 
Lucie lol! My baby snores too. It's worse if he sleeps on his back though. would it change if he tried sleeping on his sides at all?
 
Why on earth would a guy who's so smitten with you upon first meeting.put in 12 hours of effort into seeing you and then at the end of the night, run home? Really? 12 hours of chasing for nothing?

I wish guys drank alcohol less.
 
-PYT said:
@Lucie lol! My baby snores too. It's worse if he sleeps on his back though. would it change if he tried sleeping on his sides at all?
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@-PYT

Nope! My dude is a snoring champion. :lol: It sucks because he is in a studio now waiting for his tenants to move out, so he can move back into the entire house again. So when he snores, I have nowhere to run except the bathroom or one of our cars. Weirdly enough, I don't mind if a man snores. This snoring though is of EPIC proportions. :spinning:
 
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