hopeful
Well-Known Member
son, the pink bowtie???? really tho???
everybody else probably had on jeans......
just extra.
Very extra .
son, the pink bowtie???? really tho???
everybody else probably had on jeans......
just extra.
tinkat Oh so now he can't live without you? Is this the guy that gave you a sex toy for a gift? What did you do when he showed up?
...he had the audacity to try to kiss me, told me he was not leaving until I gave him one. He left with a bruised ego (bc that was not going down), he left mad and I did not feel bad at all. But it left me upset and confused when I have been doing ok. I realized that it was his energy that I have been picking up that leaves me drained.
Don't get me wrong, for some crazy reason I deeply care and love this guy, it was not always like this...but when he showed me that he could not be what I wanted him to be, I should have left. What I don't get is why he is coming around. I asked him why are you here and he of course did not have an answer. That kind of rattled my energy but I am going to do what I have been doing, no contact, and I WILL LOOK THROUGH MY PEEP HOLE!
Stand your ground! tinkat he is clearly one of those toxic people a previous poster was talking about if his mere presence drains you. Way to stick to your guns girlie.
He kept calling me a "career student"
This is all before we got to the restaurant (Applebees ).
At the restaurant, the waitress took our drink orders and I ordered sweet tea. He said, really.
then asked if there were any strip clubs in Hattiesburg He told me he knew I was spoiled and that HE wasn't going to spoil me. Oh I let him HAVE IT.
I told him yes I think highly of myself and I have every right to. I've been living on my own since 18 and I'm doing damn well for my age. I don't ask my parents for ish, I don't get on my back or knees for anything, I live below my means, and I'm smart enough to save and budget. I also told him that he has life fvcked up if he thinks I'm going to let him get away with acting like an @$$hole to "bring me down a notch." I'm a good woman and I deserve to be treated well and if he's not prepared to do that then he can "get the hell on, ni99@!" (I wish there was a neck rolling smilie)
Finally, I said, what are you doing a weave check or something He said yes and proceeded to dig his fingers all up in my head r.
It took awhile but I've been able to detach significantly. No more romanticizing the situation or pondering the "what ifs". It is what it is, I can't change it so I'm letting it go.
Love it! You are showing real growth and maturity MzLady. I am so proud of you.
I know that I'm at an age where I should be more proactive about finding Mr. Right, but I don't feel compelled in the least to do. I just feel so.....defeated. More growth. You're being so honest about how you feel. Anyone would feel defeated, real sadness. And it's okay to be sad, it's healthy and normal. Avoiding those feelings is unhealthy. Sadness moves on, depression sits. But on the plus side, it's allowed me to spend more time thinking about the areas of my life that I do have some control over, like this possible career change to teaching and my goal of moving out by next summer. Maybe if I make these things happen, my failure to make any progress with my love life won't hurt as much anymore. Yes, yes, yes! Achieving these things will lift your spirits and make you feel better about yourself. I wish you the best.At least I'll have accomplished something.
Beautiful post!
MzLady78 Both of your previous posts are my exact thoughts!!! I have small goals that I haven't accomplished so I'm definitely going to focus more on them and less on him. A reason, a season, and a lifetime...I'm going to start staying available for my lifetime.
So. This week was actually really dull in terms of relationship stuff. The guy I went out with last Saturday (the one who's kiss I dodged) NEVER called. I sent him a text Thurs evening asking him how his week was going and he didn't respond.... which I find weird. Yeah our date ended awkwardly, but it wasn't that bad. :kanyeshrug:
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Anyway, I feel like this dude from last week will pop up again too. I think he may be a little embarrassed. I definitely got the sense he was feeling me during our date, and I don't think I was way off about that. I did sorta get the sense that he's more confident in his ability to get women because of his accomplishments rather his personality/game, and I kinda gave off the impression that I was unaware/unimpressed with all his accolades (even though I was). I could be wrong though, I just know a lot of guys who are like that and he kinda fits the profile.
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Everyone just left from my "Girl's Night In" this time next week I will be a married woman...
Exactly.
If I'd spend HALF the amount of time and energy on getting my ish order as I did trying to make this thing work or crying and being depressed over it, wondering how I let it happen and what do I do from here, I'd have been well on my way by now. But that's the past and I can't change it. All I can do is go forward and make better choices next time around.
SweetNic_JA
Thank-you for sharing your story. CONGRATS! Love is a beautiful thing. I have never been in love before or had a long term relationship. So in a way I am kinda afraid of finding the 100% right guy for me because I feel like I will mess it up. But I am praying that when the guy for me comes along I will recognize it.
More and more I try to accept that it is not my season and to be happy with what I have (I have much!). Some days are worse than most. Last night night was one of those days. This online dating thing has been doing a number on my confidence.