Deleting saved links. Thought this might be helpful:
A Checklist on Boundaries in a Relationship
When you give up your boundaries in a relationship you:
Are unclear about your preferences
Do not notice unhappiness since enduring is your concern
Alter your behavior, plans, or opinions to fit the current moods or circumstances of another (live reactively)
Do more and more for less and less
Take as truth the most recent opinion you have heard
Live hopefully while wishing and waiting
Are satisfied if you are coping and surviving
Let the other's minimal improvement maintain your stalemate
I have few hobbies because you have no attention span for self-directed activity
Make exceptions for a person for things you would not tolerate in anyone else/accept alibis
Are manipulated by flattery so you lose objectivity
Try to create intimacy with a narcissist
Are so strongly affected by another that obsession results
Will forsake every personal limit to get sex or the promise of it
See your partner as causing your excitement
Fell hurt and victimized but not angry
Act out of compliance and compromise
Do favors that you inwardly resist (cannot say no)
Disregard intuition in favor of wishes
Allow your partner to abuse your children or friends
Mostly feel afraid and confused
Are enmeshed in a drama that is beyond your control
Are living a life that is not yours, and that seems unalterable
Commit yourself for as long as the other needs you to be committed (no bottom line)
Believe you have no right to secrets
When your boundaries are intact in a relationship you:
Have clear preferences and act upon them
Recognize when you are happy/unhappy
Acknowledge moods and circumstances around you while remaining centered (live actively)
Do more when that gets results
Trust your own intuition while being open to other's opinions
Live optimistically while co-working on change
Are only satisfied if you are thriving
Are encouraged by sincere, ongoing change for the better
Have excited interest in self-enhancing hobbies and projects
Have a personal standard, albeit flexible, that applies to everyone and asks for accountability
Appreciate feedback and can distinguish it from attempts to manipulate
Relate only to partners with whom mutual love is possible
Are strongly affected by your partner's behavior and take it as information
Integrate sex so that you can enjoy it but never at the cost of your integrity
See your partner as stimulating your excitement
Let yourself feel anger, say "ouch" and embark upon a program of change
Act out of agreement and negotiation
Only do favors you choose to do (you can say no)
Honor intuitions and distinguish them from wishes
Insist others' boundaries be as safe as your own
Mostly feel secure and clear
Are always aware of choices
Are living a life that mostly approximates what you always wanted for yourself
Decide how, to what extent, and how long you will be committed
Protect your private matters without having to lie or be surreptitious
Source:
http://www.yourpotential.net/3/5/A_Checklist_on_Boundaries_in_a_Relationship.html
), but taking a nap seemed more important at the time. Needless to say, the guys that were interested aren't anymore, including the ex. I don't know if it is fear or what. I really need to get it together.
ohwell: Mother really wants grandbabies but at the rate I am going that's not going to happen any time soon.
I'm going to see him later today and I am going to try to remember to smile. That was actually a great tip because sometimes I'll forget. 
I peeped that nasty-nice phone call. N*gga **** you. I'll stop askin sh*t, when you stop doing sh*t. 
