***Random Thoughts: RELATIONSHIP FORUM***

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frostydoll said:
Have you guys talked about a timeline for the two of you? When I finally decided I wanted to be married, and that changed after we had been dating for 3 years I had to let him know and discuss what was an appropriate timeline. Prior to that I kept saying I didn't want to be married and neither did he, but that changed for me and initially he wasn't on board because he felt like I changed our plan. We broke up... got back together and will be married before the year is over.

I guess what I'm trying to say is you don't have to coach him, but you do have to state your expectations...don't expect him to be a mind reader. Let him know you're ready and would like to know that you're on the same page about a future together in the very near future.
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Talked, yes.

Patiently? No.

Honestly you guys I'm formulating my "this is how it is N*gga" speech(which is harder than the actual conversation). Also i'm formulating my life after...no matter the outcome. Am I being dramatic? Eh. I've been very patient!!! Cain't no mo!!! Lol (I'd like to say i'm a strong woman but seeing it all around...but not to you...does a number to your self worth :ohwell:)

frostydoll:bighug::bighug:

Thank you for rationale...to my pitiful :)
 
Simply_elle said:
Not really on some one else's timeline...

we've been together two years... And we talked about it, call me stupid but I shouldn't feel the need to coach my SO into marriage? I'm happy...yet this is really bugging me(if that makes sense) I'm not the five year girlfriend type...nor do I not believe in shacking up...So if we don't marry it feels like relationship groundhog day... I'd love to move on and have (more) kids...

On the other hand I feel so ungrateful...He's a sweet man wth? :perplexed:
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Don't feel ungrateful. He should be able to let you know where he thinks the relationship is heading by now! You have to be willing to stand your ground if he says marriage isn't on the table for him. Don't let him string you along! I've been there and unfortunately he didn't want to marry me. I ignored the signs and hoped for the best and ended up waiting for nothing.
 
Oh I'm def not encouraging waiting... I will tell anyone who asks that when I met him I was in a different place and while things are working out for us now I realize that in this case I'm probably the exception to the rule.

I'm just saying you gotta at least communicate and be prepared to walk away if he's not on the same page.

Simply_elle :bighug:
 
frostydoll said:
Oh I'm def not encouraging waiting... I will tell anyone who asks that when I met him I was in a different place and while things are working out for us now I realize that in this case I'm probably the exception to the rule.

I'm just saying you gotta at least communicate and be prepared to walk away if he's not on the same page.

Simply_elle :bighug:
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NO!

I didn't think your were saying to wait LOL!!

I'm having a f2f chat here soon... and honestly prepping for either way :ohwell:

gabulldawg I feel VERY selfish..but you know this is what I wanted BEFORE I even met him, and had talked about it early on. Not like i'm pilling this out of my A**.. Its funny how compromising the situation can get. I think no man is worth my happiness...I want to be married...I want more kids...if not... Sorry Boo...

Let's see how it goes!... :) Thanks guys...
 
Keshieshimmer said:
It is funny when you end up feeling bad but really you shouldn't. You really care about this guy. Are you going to talk about you two being a real couple?
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Yeah I don't feel bad anymore. We already had that talk and he said that he is not ready for commitment.
 
what i thought was just a guy being silly is escalating into something i am not comfortable with. It hasnt been an issue after the first incident so i let it slide but last week it was simply ridiculous. i can see this never getting better or worsening. i have to speak up and say CUT IT OUT.I deserve respect like anyone else! no less! i usually avoid confrontation and i have others fight my battles for me but i have to do this for myself.
 
Saturday night C and I went to a mutual friend's place for a bbq, and it was a lot of fun, he was super affectionate and kept telling me how pretty I looked. It was cute, he took a plate up for me while I was talking to the ladies. I was watching/listening to him talking to the other men about politics and such and felt extra attracted to him, I love his nerd swag lol.

Anyway, at the end of the night we sat outside and had a chance to be alone and talk. He was lamenting the fact that he "wasted" years on his first degree, and that had he listened to his parents he'd be already practicing by now. He'd recently had some old friends visit, who are our age and married, and it really got to him, that they are so young yet settled into careers and marriage. I listened to him talk about the plan for next stage of his life, and he confirmed that right now, settling into marriage is not on the horizon, so I finally have a clear cut answer. This isn't going anywhere, and I'd be wise to start distancing myself.....

The athlete comes into town this weekend so that will be a nice distraction, I'm excited to finally meet him.
 
You amaze me with your insight and your effort. Even though you work my last nerve with your Alphaness, I see how strongly you love me...you prove that in action every single day.
 
I started entertaining the idea of dating a very close male friend and now I don't like him in that way... Ugh!!!
 
what doesn't this guy get? He's tried adding me as a friend on facebook several times in the past year, and each time I've rejected him. Now, he's back again. Wtf? was the message lost the last 3-4 times??
 
He had a 5 am - 2 pm shift yesterday. I was going to go to IHOP and bring him a steak omelet and get me some pancakes and eat breakfast with him. He was so excited. He said a girl has never visited him at work or brought him food. Well, my transportation didn't work out so I couldn't bring him breakfast. I felt so bad too. :nono: I was able to get a ride that afternoon and surprised him at work right before he got off. He was so excited and happy to see me and I was so excited and happy to see him. :grin:
 
Why can't I get over this?? I KNOW this man was no good for me! But I keep thinking about our first everything....the first time we flirted, the first time we hugged, held hands, kissed....It all felt so good and so perfect! I know he doesn't want the same things I do but I'm still sitting here crying 2 weeks later! WTH is wrong with me? I wish I had never met him.
 
He's on the road now. Stuff packed up, bringing the knife set I like, his larger TV, and enough clothes to last until he goes back to pack everything up in a U-Haul at another time.
 
I nearly :barf: when she told me what she had done. I just can't be a friend to her anymore. I just can't...:nono:
Women go hard competing but this....:nono:
I need to tell someone else this but my mouth can't even bring it out.:sick:
 
It hurts to hear you in you so much pain but I am grateful to God you're still here and comin' home tomorrow.
 
SUPER SWEET said:
I nearly :barf: when she told me what she had done. I just can't be a friend to her anymore. I just can't...:nono:
Women go hard competing but this....:nono:
I need to tell someone else this but my mouth can't even bring it out.:sick:
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That's what PMs are for...hint!

Just kidding....hope all is well.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G
 
Things i am doing for my relationship after the hurricane:

1. Telling him that its more than my heart that loves him..its my spirit.

2. Not taking things so seriously

3. Nurturing all my relationships

4. Gushing at ask the love in this thread.

Sent from my MyTouch 4G
 
Briabiggles said:
Why can't I get over this?? I KNOW this man was no good for me! But I keep thinking about our first everything....the first time we flirted, the first time we hugged, held hands, kissed....It all felt so good and so perfect! I know he doesn't want the same things I do but I'm still sitting here crying 2 weeks later! WTH is wrong with me? I wish I had never met him.
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Aww I know exactly how u feel girlie. We just need more time. :hug3:
 
SUPER SWEET said:
I nearly :barf: when she told me what she had done. I just can't be a friend to her anymore. I just can't...:nono:
Women go hard competing but this....:nono:
I need to tell someone else this but my mouth can't even bring it out.:sick:
Click to expand...

PM me and you'll feel better about it:sekret:


Random thought......
How did I go from no man to 2 men telling me I'm the ONE within the last three months?:look:
 
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