Men Are Now ‘marrying Up’ More Than Women: Study

[RoundEyedGirl504]

The issue is there has been a full scale failure to get men who don't go to college into skilled trades of some kind. Which I think over the next decade there are all these infrastructure projects coming that will probably sustain them for a while.

Black men, hell black people cannot afford to skip on any formal education or skills training. We do not have the option.

 

[brownb83]

The issue is there has been a full scale failure to get men who don't go to college into skilled trades of some kind. Which I think over the next decade there are all these infrastructure projects coming that will probably sustain them for a while.

Black men, hell black people cannot afford to skip on any formal education or skills training. We do not have the option.

Nope we can't. I learned it late and you should see the horror on my co workers face because I work and go to school . While they constantly complain of having limited options

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

We have to do better than that. We need to make certain our sons go to college and earn good wages. We need to instill values in them early. That a man takes care of his family and works hard so that his wife can feel supported. Force their fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other role models to teach him the value of being a breadwinner and strive to acheive more. Make certain that we connect them with the right people who can get them into the right schools, the right jobs, and help them advance their careers.

And naturally, tell sons early that they need I get married. A boy has girlfriend, a man gets married. I don't think they take that as seriously as women. But if momma says it, they will make it a priority. By age 29 or else. "When you getting married?" Should be a catch phrase by senior year of college.

It does no good to advise our daughters without also focusing on our sons.

And how do women force men to be men?

 

[GraceJones]

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm not ballin by any means, but the number of men (black men) that make more than me are almost non existent. I've even dated some men in their 30s and they STILL make less or just about the same as me.

To make it worse I'm in a low tier position so I expect it to only get worse

 

[frida1980]

And how do women force men to be men?

I was responding to a post that talked about daughters. Which is why I spoke about sons.

If your talking about you and you friends and family's prospects, there is nothing that can be done. We can't make them be men. We can only reject them for men who will be men and hope that the lack of attention will result in better behavior.

In my experience women are unwilling to command men as a whole improve themselves. But it would be nice to have women as a whole tell men to stop being underachieving idiots.

 

[**SaSSy**]

it's just going to get worse.

depending on your demographic and career level, good luck finding a man who out earns you these days.

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm not ballin by any means, but the number of men (black men) that make more than me are almost non existent. I've even dated some men in their 30s and they STILL make less or just about the same as me.

To make it worse I'm in a low tier position so I expect it to only get worse

The guy I'm currently seeing has a higher income-level than me (yes, he is black), which I hear is rare now of days.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I was responding to a post that talked about daughters. Which is why I spoke about sons.

If your talking about you and you friends and famil's prospects, there is nothing that can be done. We can't make them be men. We can only reject them for men who will be men and hope that the lack of attention will result in better behavior.

In my experience women are unwilling to command men as a whole improve themselves. But it would be nice to have women as a whole tell men to stop being underachieving idiots.

I meant the part about forcing their grandfathers, fathers, uncles show them better. How would that be done?

 

[DarkJoy]

The guy I'm currently seeing has a higher income-level than me (yes, he is black), which I hear is rare now of days.

What I meant by so certain demographics:

when a bw who wants to exclusively date black moves up in age, say mid 30s and hits that management or level with 100k plus annual, the pickings are slim. when she gets older and only moves up further 150k, 200k and beyond... the pickings are non existant. Location also plays a factor. I hear DC is better than other places but those men are not trying to settle down...

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I'm in my mid 20s and I'm not ballin by any means, but the number of men (black men) that make more than me are almost non existent. I've even dated some men in their 30s and they STILL make less or just about the same as me.

To make it worse I'm in a low tier position so I expect it to only get worse

Girl. You ain't lying. I'm a paraprofessional with a bachelor's and it shouldn't be this hard. Like, no man should be looking at me like I "made it."

 

[frida1980]

I meant the part about forcing their grandfathers, fathers, uncles show them better. How would that be done?

One might assume these men are already these type of men. If so, they need to have a talk early about how men treat women and how important it is that a woman is treasured. If they aren't those type of men, they should be avoided.

Furthermore, in another thread about all boys schools, they talked about how boys are more focused, goal oriented, and successful than at public co-ed schools. Find your sons role models that you want them to emulate they can be coaches, mentors, pastors, etc. it's up to us to build our sons into respectable men，rather than let them be what society wants them to be.

And most importantly talk to them about being me of honor. What does a man do as opposed to someone with no class. Raise him to open does, assist women, carry groceries, help women in the neighborhood, etc. Tell that a man always pays. Tell them that a man provides.

I know a lot of women believe that they have no influence of how their sons relate to women, but I believe that is wrong. Mothers are the strongest influence in a man's life. The reason why the 19th amendment (Woman's right to vote) was passed was because the deciding voter, who was initially against it, was told by his mother to vote for it.

No one will ever make me believe that I cannot influence my son to make good decisions.

 

[movingforward13]

We have to do better than that. We need to make certain our sons go to college and earn good wages. We need to instill values in them early. That a man takes care of his family and works hard so that his wife can feel supported. Force their fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other role models to teach him the value of being a breadwinner and strive to acheive more. Make certain that we connect them with the right people who can get them into the right schools, the right jobs, and help them advance their careers.

And naturally, tell sons early that they need I get married. A boy has girlfriend, a man gets married. I don't think they take that as seriously as women. But if momma says it, they will make it a priority. By age 29 or else. "When you getting married?" Should be a catch phrase by senior year of college.

It does no good to advise our daughters without also focusing on our sons.

Yessss sis YESSSSSS

My son has this all planned out- I told him he needs to be married by 30 and have kids by 33. But first college, good job and maybe take over the family business if he likes accounting. Shaping him at 7.

 

[movingforward13]

One might assume these men are already these type of men. If so, they need to have a talk early about how men treat women and how important it is that a woman is treasured. If they aren't those type of men, they should be avoided.

Furthermore, in another thread about all boys schools, they talked about how boys are more focused, goal oriented, and successful than at public co-ed schools. Find your sons role models that you want them to emulate they can be coaches, mentors, pastors, etc. it's up to us to build our sons into respectable men，rather than let them be what society wants them to be.

And most importantly talk to them about being me of honor. What does a man do as opposed to someone with no class. Raise him to open does, assist women, carry groceries, help women in the neighborhood, etc. Tell that a man always pays. Tell them that a man provides.

I know a lot of women believe that they have no influence of how their sons relate to women, but I believe that is wrong. Mothers are the strongest influence in a man's life. The reason why the 19th amendment (Woman's right to vote) was passed was because the deciding voter, who was initially against it, was told by his mother to vote for it.

No one will ever make me believe that I cannot influence my son to make good decisions.

 

[movingforward13]

I was responding to a post that talked about daughters. Which is why I spoke about sons.

If your talking about you and you friends and family's prospects, there is nothing that can be done. We can't make them be men. We can only reject them for men who will be men and hope that the lack of attention will result in better behavior.

In my experience women are unwilling to command men as a whole improve themselves. But it would be nice to have women as a whole tell men to stop being underachieving idiots.

Hi Frida- I don't know you but now you have a new stalker--- because the knowledge you are spitting.... ON POINT. I will be looking out for your threads <3

 

[movingforward13]

What I meant by so certain demographics:

when a bw who wants to exclusively date black moves up in age, say mid 30s and hits that management or level with 100k plus annual, the pickings are slim. when she gets older and only moves up further 150k, 200k and beyond... the pickings are non existant. Location also plays a factor. I hear DC is better than other places but those men are not trying to settle down...

They make money out here but all I have met so far are cheating idiots and single bachelors using the money to get what they want from women. When they are done USING them, they discard and repeat the process elsewhere. It is like they don't care about marriage and family any more.
This is why I talk about my business so much... because I am on mine. They get upset when their "usual tricks" don't work. I have one sending me screen shots now of all his money and brand new i8 he just bought "cash". And my response to him has been "Sir- do you need a CPA because I am not looking to be your woman" - nicely said of course: "I am focusing on growing my business right now, not really dating".

 

[fula97]

And how do women force men to be men?

Stop accepting BS when dating. Even a FBuddy that is a lazy loser is a turnoff.

I meant the part about forcing their grandfathers, fathers, uncles show them better. How would that be done?

If it's generational then cut line it's not going to happen. Blind can't lead the blind. Limit the kids exposure. I have a strong network of friends and they are all supportive of the kids in the crew. One friend adopted a son as a single parent and one of the guys is his godfather and make sure he takes him out. We are godmother to his kids all of the men take an active role in the kids development etc as do the women.

I have one sending me screen shots now of all his money and brand new i8 he just bought "cash". And my response to him has been "Sir- do you need a CPA because I am not looking to be your woman" - nicely said of course: "I am focusing on growing my business right now, not really dating".

How old is he? Anyone who brags about cash showing what he has is either broke, living on credit, small peen and compensating or a douche bag or all of the above

 

[movingforward13]

How old is he? Anyone who brags about cash showing what he has is either broke, living on credit, small peen and compensating or a douche bag or all of the above

36. He is a douche bag personality wise - I did my research on him and he is making money but people who make money respectfully don't have to take a photo of it. He takes pictures like Mayweather and sends them out. They may speak about it, especially if they aren't from means (I am guilty of this being a Leo), but it is usually in their bank accounts, not banded up like a drug dealer on the table *smh*. I couldn't be with someone like that- but I will try to convert him to a client (one he realizes he isn't hitting this). Sweetly of course lol.

 

[movingforward13]

double quote

 

[frida1980]

Hi Frida- I don't know you but now you have a new stalker--- because the knowledge you are spitting.... ON POINT. I will be looking out for your threads <3

I've been preaching this since 2010, and this is the most appreciation I've ever gotten for this perspective. You've made my week.

 

[MizAvalon]

The issue is there has been a full scale failure to get men who don't go to college into skilled trades of some kind. Which I think over the next decade there are all these infrastructure projects coming that will probably sustain them for a while.

Black men, hell black people cannot afford to skip on any formal education or skills training. We do not have the option.

I just listened to a podcast recently with Mike Rowe and he addressed this very thing. He said that there are literally 6-8 million skilled trade jobs sitting empty RIGHT NOW because there are no trained workers to take them.

 

[okange76]

This is disappointing. I was listening to a session on FB and the question was should a woman making $250 K consider a man making $60 K and one of the women was so adamant that it was ok because what is important is the love they have for each other. Of course the men were supporting her. It was so sad to see. The lady who said she should not, got so much heat. Her reasoning was that it was a recipe for disaster because of egos and respect coming into play. She can afford a lot of stuff but is expected to deny herself because her husband cannot afford it. After awhile resentment kicks in. Woman are being pressured to accept mediocre men or they will remain single. When women are going to school and improving themselves, what exactly are men doing? We have the same resources but the dudes are chilling and waiting for sponsors because they know that society doesn't consider women complete until they are married. This was an African audience.

 

[fula97]

This is disappointing. I was listening to a session on FB and the question was should a woman making $250 K consider a man making $60 K and one of the woman was so adamant that it was ok because what is important is the love they have for each other. Of course the men were supporting her. It was so sad to see. The lady who said she should not, got so much heat. Her reasoning was that it was a recipe for disaster because of egos and respect coming into play. She can afford a lot of stuff but is expected to deny herself because her husband cannot afford it. After awhile resentment kicks in. Woman are being pressured to accept mediocre men or they will remain single. When women are going to school and improving themselves, what exactly are men doing? We have the same resources but the dudes are chilling and waiting for sponsors because they know that society doesn't consider women complete until they are married. This was an African audience.

That is sad. That is too big of a wage gap for the avg couple. But it also depends on what they do for a living when that satisfys both egos. If he is a teacher for ex it's altruistic, education implied etc.

I've seen the compromising on money when the female makes or has more is almost always a problem. Or you have to make compromises for his "ego"

Lets take Vegas as ex. If you go with couples and they all make a ton of money but he doesn't you have a few choices
Don't go
Get everyone else to have a cheaper budget to match his
You pay for everything and be resentful and he is resentful
You give him a card so he saves face
He loves being a kept man and milks it
Or go twice - cheap budget with him, baller budget with friends

 

[PrissiSippi]

The only reason this article was written is because this is happening to white women now instead of just black women. Women shouldn't stop what we're doing, just marry accordingly. My husband doesn't have to make more than me. But we have to be able to live comfortably on his income alone.

This is what I was coming in to say I would teach my daughter

 

[fula97]

I would be ok with earning more than my husband, as long as he still made enough to support the household. I don't want to be "the breadwinner."

So I have a question about this. This came up during a conversation with friends. All agree with this male and female. But Everyone makes a significant amt of money so living off one income is still extremely good.

Another friend he makes lets say 70 and wife $120 and he covers all the bills and they have a comfortable lifestyle since he is very good at managing his month. She maybe buys groceries.

Now lets say he makes 50 to her 150. How does that work? Do u live on his 50? Or do you kick in $50 and live off $100? Do you buy a home according to his income?

 

[Zaynab]

We have to do better than that. We need to make certain our sons go to college and earn good wages. We need to instill values in them early. That a man takes care of his family and works hard so that his wife can feel supported. Force their fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other role models to teach him the value of being a breadwinner and strive to acheive more. Make certain that we connect them with the right people who can get them into the right schools, the right jobs, and help them advance their careers.

And naturally, tell sons early that they need I get married. A boy has girlfriend, a man gets married. I don't think they take that as seriously as women. But if momma says it, they will make it a priority. By age 29 or else. "When you getting married?" Should be a catch phrase by senior year of college.

It does no good to advise our daughters without also focusing on our sons.

This is so key especially for me since I have sons. They've been taught early what the role of a man and a provider is.

This is random but an anecdotal story: We were out fishing and not having any luck. I was ready to go and then my oldest son said "Well what if my family was at home and needed to eat and this was all I could do to feed them was to bring home fish? I need to stay out here until I catch something." So did stay and he did catch some fish. It was a small thing but in my eyes, I thought OK all the years and the foundation we laid, he does get it, men are to provide for their families.

 

[Zaynab]

The issue is there has been a full scale failure to get men who don't go to college into skilled trades of some kind. Which I think over the next decade there are all these infrastructure projects coming that will probably sustain them for a while.

Black men, hell black people cannot afford to skip on any formal education or skills training. We do not have the option.

There's actually a movement now for more mechanical and trade jobs. Apparently there's a huge need for trade workers now since the previous focus was just "go to college".

 

[Zaynab]

I was responding to a post that talked about daughters. Which is why I spoke about sons.

If your talking about you and you friends and family's prospects, there is nothing that can be done. We can't make them be men. We can only reject them for men who will be men and hope that the lack of attention will result in better behavior.

In my experience women are unwilling to command men as a whole improve themselves. But it would be nice to have women as a whole tell men to stop being underachieving idiots.

I completely agree. We have to stop trying to fix men. Men need to fix men. If we don't engage, they will have no recourse but to step up and be men. That's easier said than done obviously and honestly probably an entire generational shift in thinking. But we have to start somewhere. We can't tell them what needs to be done. The men who do get it, they need to reach the ones who don't. Older men, uncles, brothers, whomever need to pull younger men aside and show them what's expected as a man.

 

[sheanu]

We have to do better than that. We need to make certain our sons go to college and earn good wages. We need to instill values in them early. That a man takes care of his family and works hard so that his wife can feel supported. Force their fathers, grandfathers, uncles and other role models to teach him the value of being a breadwinner and strive to acheive more. Make certain that we connect them with the right people who can get them into the right schools, the right jobs, and help them advance their careers.

And naturally, tell sons early that they need I get married. A boy has girlfriend, a man gets married. I don't think they take that as seriously as women. But if momma says it, they will make it a priority. By age 29 or else. "When you getting married?" Should be a catch phrase by senior year of college.

It does no good to advise our daughters without also focusing on our sons.

 

[intellectualuva]

The issue is there has been a full scale failure to get men who don't go to college into skilled trades of some kind. Which I think over the next decade there are all these infrastructure projects coming that will probably sustain them for a while.

Black men, hell black people cannot afford to skip on any formal education or skills training. We do not have the option.

Pretty much. I have an engineering degree and have been toying with going to get some training in one of the trades. I'm self taught with plumbing, but I'd like to know a bit more about it or electrical work, especially if the lights ever go out (society) to have some other skill as well.

 

[intellectualuva]

Girl. You ain't lying. I'm a paraprofessional with a bachelor's and it shouldn't be this hard. Like, no man should be looking at me like I "made it."

Nah they 'N- we made it. ' I feel ya and sorry but I saw dudes in DC act like this over my regla "lifestyle" These dudes dress nice and all, but they're looking for a come up.

 

[movingforward13]

I completely agree. We have to stop trying to fix men. Men need to fix men. If we don't engage, they will have no recourse but to step up and be men. That's easier said than done obviously and honestly probably an entire generational shift in thinking. But we have to start somewhere. We can't tell them what needs to be done. The men who do get it, they need to reach the ones who don't. Older men, uncles, brothers, whomever need to pull younger men aside and show them what's expected as a man.

I agree. I tell other men this all the time- reach the younger generation.

If all women collectively wouldn't give them the time of day, I really believe they would straighten out. Well the ones with potential any way.