'marrying Down' Costs Educated Women $25k A Year

[naturalgyrl5199]

I want to know more about this one...

@DarkJoy
Chiilllleeeeee.
She came in twice this week. Strangest thing I'd ever heard of. She also told me one of em married. But she didn't find out until after she had the baby. I'm still learning. I may need to go into the tea thread.

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I don't...7 kids...X amount of men jizzing it all up Willy Nilly just to say I'm set for life with 7 kids...4 of which are under the age 4? Bruh hell TF naw! Pass go. Do not Collect. Time Out. That's over. It's cancelled

4 (cause twins) under the age of 3. Even WORSE. I didn't mean to make it seem like she is proud. She just said she has no worries and they happily contribute--despite the fact that there are 5 of them... The guys just seem strange to me and the whole set up seems strange...the married one helps but is giving her a hard time right now.....which is ironic. But I told her it sounds like the wife found out about her. She seems fertile AF. Not super smart. She remains confused at how easy she conceives. She told me her family hx and it explained a lot and makes sense when u understand the genetics.

 

[CurlyMoo]

Unless this negatively impacts your family financially. $25,000 is a lot per year to not think about.

The solution really is for black men to step up because they should be the providers. They should look at this article as a "hell nah" since it's essentially saying black Women are the least likely to marry out and we suffer financially for that choice because of the situations facing black men

So Black women should wait for Black men to step up financially?
How long do we wait?
Or should Black women look toward men of other races whom have already acquired the financial resources she looks for in a man?
How about other Black men in other countries?

 

[naturalgyrl5199]

I am slow hon. Can you please explain this to me.

She is under 30 with 7 kiddos.
She has several happy baby daddies that help her out. She doesn't have to work.
She needs something she just calls them. She doesn't have to chase them either. She is not really a "wife" per se cause she lives alone with the kids (that was a poor description). There are no live-ins or overnights per her demands. But they can take time and hang out with the kids or take them out. She does help them out with things.

 

[CurlyMoo]

This is a no brainer for me.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

Cause she knew the deal. My granny didn't want her daughters nor us to be SAHMs. Being a SAHM to more than 2-3 kids is NO walk in the park. I'm a working mom of one and feel overwhelmed many times. Its enough to find time for myself...when you are a SAHM you are in "mommy mode" 24-7 with no reprieve.

That does not have to be true but many mothers mistakenly feel like that that's a requirement of the sahm job when it isn't

 

[FelaShrine]

I gotta find a man first. Lagos boys are not honest and their lifestyles are really fake. We will see what the next trip brings.

lol why everyone keep focusing on Lagos, berra travel to other states

 

[barbiesocialite]

That does not have to be true but many mothers mistakenly feel like that that's a requirement of the sahm job when it isn't

I feel like this thread is getting derailed.

This is not for the struggle SAHMS. This is for the women of means attracting men of means. The broke woman's agenda or the one who can't afford childcare is for another thread.

This thread is for the six figure women who deserve a man of even more money and status.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

She is under 30 with 7 kiddos.
She has several happy baby daddies that help her out. She doesn't have to work.
She needs something she just calls them. She doesn't have to chase them either. She is not really a "wife" per se cause she lives alone with the kids (that was a poor description). There are no live-ins or overnights per her demands. But they can take time and hang out with the kids or take them out. She does help them out with things.

for every Kang there is a Quain

 

[Femmefatal1981]

I feel like this thread is getting derailed.

This is not for the struggle SAHMS. This is for the women of means attracting men of means. The broke woman's agenda or the one who can't afford childcare is for another thread.

This thread is for the six figure women who deserve a man of even more money and status.

I don't know about that based on that $25k stat. A high to mid six figure woman isn't sweating a $25k salary difference. Shoot he can make that up in perks alone. But a 50-100k woman should think long and hard about that $25k cost of marrying down.

I'm thinking this is more about lawyers marrying car sales men and school administrators marrying bus drivers.

So if we have gotten to rich women marrying slightly less rich men or quains having 50 kids with kings then yes this thread is way off track from the op.

 

[Shiks]

lol why everyone keep focusing on Lagos, berra travel to other states

I will try fit in Abuja if Arik agrees. My people are techies thus the focus on Lagos.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I don't know about that based on that $25k stat. A high to mid six figure woman isn't sweating a $25k salary difference. Shoot he can make that up in perks alone. But a 50-100k woman should think long and hard about that $25k cost of marrying down.

I'm thinking this is more about lawyers marrying car sales men and school administrators marrying bus drivers.

So if we have gotten to rich women marrying slightly less rich men or quains having 50 kids with kings then yes this thread is way off track from the op.

Right. This thread somewhat coincides with the rich man thread. Stacks not nickels & dimes.

Back on topic.....I attended a webinar for now Black women who want to marry well. It attended by almost 200 black women who aspire to more. During the Q&A it's amazing how so many black women are so used to less they literally negotiate to lower standards. Like they say things like "we'll a lot of rich men are cheap, I'd rather have a man who makes less and is generous..." while I do think that's an honest statement it's just symptomatic of how many relegate themselves to a lower standard and confine themselves there. They can't even envision themselves with millions so they commit themselves to thousandnaires. Smh.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

Right. This thread somewhat coincides with the rich man thread. Stacks not nickels & dimes.

Back on topic.....I attended a webinar for now Black women who want to marry well. It attended by almost 200 black women who aspire to more. During the Q&A it's amazing how so many black women are so used to less they literally negotiate to lower standards. Like they say things like "we'll a lot of rich men are cheap, I'd rather have a man who makes less and is generous..." while I do think that's an honest statement it's just symptomatic of how many relegate themselves to a lower standard and confine themselves there. They can't even envision themselves with millions so they commit themselves to thousandnaires. Smh.

The bolded used be on FB all the time. Black women on SM seem to always say that. I'm not on SM like that anymore so I don't know how it is now but it seemed like women would fight to be able to post **** like that on some lame page. I don't think women that post that have ever even been in the company of rich people, but my life experiences probably affect my opinion on the subject. Like, I actually think truly rich Black men are more generous that rich white men, but I also grew up and went to school with a good amount of Jews.

 

[Femmefatal1981]

Right. This thread somewhat coincides with the rich man thread. Stacks not nickels & dimes.

Back on topic.....I attended a webinar for now Black women who want to marry well. It attended by almost 200 black women who aspire to more. During the Q&A it's amazing how so many black women are so used to less they literally negotiate to lower standards. Like they say things like "we'll a lot of rich men are cheap, I'd rather have a man who makes less and is generous..." while I do think that's an honest statement it's just symptomatic of how many relegate themselves to a lower standard and confine themselves there. They can't even envision themselves with millions so they commit themselves to thousandnaires. Smh.

How sad...how does one finish grad school with such backwards logic? Like how can you do complex analysis on A but go totally basic on B?

 

[Crackers Phinn]

She is under 30 with 7 kiddos.
She has several happy baby daddies that help her out. She doesn't have to work.
She needs something she just calls them. She doesn't have to chase them either. She is not really a "wife" per se cause she lives alone with the kids (that was a poor description). There are no live-ins or overnights per her demands. But they can take time and hang out with the kids or take them out. She does help them out with things.

I got a feeling that this doesn't run as smoothly as she makes it out to be. Several happy baby daddies all pulling their fair share and on board with the child rearing? The kind of dudes with a baby mama with several different baby daddies are not usually a happy sort.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

BTW - I just want to clarify that I know that black SAHM/W's married to black men exist. Even in yesteryear, there were always wayyyyyy more Mrs. Rosa Parks getting on the bus to go to work than there were Mrs. Coretta Scott Kings staying home with the kids. Less black women get married today so it would be expected that there would be proportionately even less black SAHM/W's.

If black women stay at home anything's were the norm, I'd be the first one to cheer it on.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Right. This thread somewhat coincides with the rich man thread. Stacks not nickels & dimes.

Back on topic.....I attended a webinar for now Black women who want to marry well. It attended by almost 200 black women who aspire to more. During the Q&A it's amazing how so many black women are so used to less they literally negotiate to lower standards. Like they say things like "we'll a lot of rich men are cheap, I'd rather have a man who makes less and is generous..." while I do think that's an honest statement it's just symptomatic of how many relegate themselves to a lower standard and confine themselves there. They can't even envision themselves with millions so they commit themselves to thousandnaires. Smh.

It's that whole New Testament thing where rich men have all the flaws and the men scraping by have all the virtues. In the Torah, riches are wonderful.

 

[barbiesocialite]

It's that whole New Testament thing where rich men have all the flaws and the men scraping by have all the virtues. In the Torah, riches are wonderful.

Even more reason I like Jews.

G-d is angry and he loves rich people.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Like, I actually think truly rich Black men are more generous that rich white men.

I was reading an escort account on the other board that reinforces what I've heard from black gold diggers and assorted sex workers dealing with black men since I was a kid. It also relates to the comment I mentioned about black men believing their penii is currency.

At every financial level, Black men make you work harder for their coin because they feel like they are owed a "tricking discount" since they are rewarding you with a larger penis (whether real or imagined) than you will get elsewhere. As a matter of fact, at some point they feel women should show gratitude by not taking their money for all the extra penis they are bestowing upon someone's lucky vagina. Black women have bought into this to a degree which explains the f''ery that passes for relationship norms in the black community. Nonblack women with an iota of options will get out as soon as the entitlement becomes clear which I think explains the IR divorce rate with bm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhat of a tangent that was recently brought up elsewhere is that when a famous black woman dates/marries interracially the biggest online outrage from bm is the rejection of the superior black penis. "That (insert nationality/ethnicity here) boy don't know what to do with that" or "He ain't packing/ working with nothing." It's not the rejection of the black man as provider/protector/ producer that is a problem, but rejection of the black penis is unthinkable.

 

[barbiesocialite]

I was reading an escort account on the other board that reinforces what I've heard from black gold diggers and assorted sex workers dealing with black men since I was a kid. It also relates to the comment I mentioned about black men believing their penii is currency.

At every financial level, Black men make you work harder for their coin because they feel like they are owed a "tricking discount" since they are rewarding you with a larger penis (whether real or imagined) than you will get elsewhere. As a matter of fact, at some point they feel women should show gratitude by not taking their money for all the extra penis they are bestowing upon someone's lucky vagina. Black women have bought into this to a degree which explains the f''ery that passes for relationship norms in the black community. Nonblack women with an iota of options will get out as soon as the entitlement becomes clear which I think explains the IR divorce rate with bm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhat of a tangent that was recently brought up elsewhere is that when a famous black woman dates/marries interracially the biggest online outrage from bm is the rejection of the superior black penis. "That (insert nationality/ethnicity here) boy don't know what to do with that" or "He ain't packing/ working with nothing." It's not the rejection of the black man as provider/protector/ producer that is a problem, but rejection of the black penis is unthinkable.

This is true.

As a black goal-digger who associates with other black goal-diggers, black men are infamously cheap. Sure I know of exceptions---my first sugardaddy was black but I think I just got lucky. Ninjas always want something for nothing. They're cheap AF. They dont want you to have nice things. They act like its a chore or task.

I will say this: the most generous men usually arent black or white, IMO. The crown, by far, goes to the Persians/Arabs and Latinos. You want a man to trick off $$$ thats your guy.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

Even more reason I like Jews.

G-d is angry and he loves rich people.

G-d promised riches to the people who was on "his" team. Wasn't none of this dying to get your reward ****. When the slaves left Egypt, G-d was like "Help yourself to all the reparations you can carry". That's why 3 chapters later ex slaves were able to make a calf out of solid gold. The "Old Testament" is not about being broke for long if at all.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

BTW - I just want to clarify that I know that black SAHM/W's married to black men exist. Even in yesteryear, there were always wayyyyyy more Mrs. Rosa Parks getting on the bus to go to work than there were Mrs. Coretta Scott Kings staying home with the kids. Less black women get married today so it would be expected that there would be proportionately even less black SAHM/W's.

If black women stay at home anything's were the norm, I'd be the first one to cheer it on.

This. Some of these anecdotes don't align with historical facts and figures for BW.

 

[LovingLady]

Somewhat of a tangent that was recently brought up elsewhere is that when a famous black woman dates/marries interracially the biggest online outrage from bm is the rejection of the superior black penis. "That (insert nationality/ethnicity here) boy don't know what to do with that" or "He ain't packing/ working with nothing." It's not the rejection of the black man as provider/protector/ producer that is a problem, but rejection of the black penis is unthinkable.

When people found out Serena was engaged BM were commenting that Alex doesn't know what to do with all of that.

 

[barbiesocialite]

When people found out Serena was engaged BM were commenting that Alex doesn't know what to do with all of that.

Which is foolish. I'm super stacked for days. I'll tell you what, only 3 people in particular have known each what to do with all this: a persian, a Vietnamese guy and a white boy.

 

[intellectualuva]

I was reading an escort account on the other board that reinforces what I've heard from black gold diggers and assorted sex workers dealing with black men since I was a kid. It also relates to the comment I mentioned about black men believing their penii is currency.

At every financial level, Black men make you work harder for their coin because they feel like they are owed a "tricking discount" since they are rewarding you with a larger penis (whether real or imagined) than you will get elsewhere. As a matter of fact, at some point they feel women should show gratitude by not taking their money for all the extra penis they are bestowing upon someone's lucky vagina. Black women have bought into this to a degree which explains the f''ery that passes for relationship norms in the black community. Nonblack women with an iota of options will get out as soon as the entitlement becomes clear which I think explains the IR divorce rate with bm.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Somewhat of a tangent that was recently brought up elsewhere is that when a famous black woman dates/marries interracially the biggest online outrage from bm is the rejection of the superior black penis. "That (insert nationality/ethnicity here) boy don't know what to do with that" or "He ain't packing/ working with nothing." It's not the rejection of the black man as provider/protector/ producer that is a problem, but rejection of the black penis is unthinkable.

....these are the things that happens when you have a group of women least likely to sample anything else the world has to offer telling anyone who will listen that their men are the most virile and best lovers....

 

[Femmefatal1981]

....these are the things that happens when you have a group of women least likely to sample anything else the world has to offer telling anyone who will listen that their men are the most virile and best lovers....

I dont think we were the ones who started that...that stereotype predates BA having any sort of voice, ie slavery.

 

[intellectualuva]

I dont think we were the ones who started that...that stereotype predates BA having any sort of voice, ie slavery.

No we didn't start it....we certainly help just keep it going.

 

[sugarbaybie]

Yes, I have examples of the true BW housewives in my family who never had to work, and their husbands provided fully for them and the entire family. But they are from the Baby Boomer generation. This new generation and the generation before it (Gen. X) who are BW is almost non exist as the true BW housewife. Every women I know my age or younger who are married have to work.

So do I but I like working. From the financial standpoint because I would never want to depend on my husband for what I want. I couldn't deal with that. Maybe short-term for the kids and I do mean very short-term. But otherwise no I like my income to well. And the flexibility it gives me.

 

[sugarbaybie]

I feel like this thread is getting derailed.

This is not for the struggle SAHMS. This is for the women of means attracting men of means. The broke woman's agenda or the one who can't afford childcare is for another thread.

This thread is for the six figure women who deserve a man of even more money and status.

Lol i heard that. You set that straight

 

[tibb1908]

....these are the things that happens when you have a group of women least likely to sample anything else the world has to offer telling anyone who will listen that their men are the most virile and best lovers....

You and @Crackers Phinn are absolutely correct. My friends and some associates have said this or they're not sexy and they're probably terrible in the bedroom etc. I don't like Vanilla men myself I like a little swag and the race is immaterial to me at this point. I tell my friends it's not about the race of the guy its about how he makes you feel and what he adds to your life. I really do want all black women to win, I really wish we would stop being so loyal to people who aren't loyal to us. My older sister friend is very successful and she's has been waiting on her black man forever(she's 55). Her soon to be husband isn't black but unfortunately she gave up her dream of being a mom. She dated quite a bit to find the right one to fit her needs because she was very apprehensive about IR dating.