Oh Lord, Black Love Will Keep You Broke

Crackers Phinn said:
The typical distractions.

We can't discuss the state of black men getting their :censored: together because deep down the majority of bw have accepted that the black community, as it is right now, is as good as it's ever going to get unless a white savior miracle restoring black men to their proper place in society happens.
Click to expand...

I can only speak for me, but that is not how I feel. I also didn't get the feeling or impression that others felt like that.

Crackers Phinn said:
So instead, the next few pages will be dedicated to defending the honor of black men because one person said they date out more than any other group because that's easier to talk about.
Click to expand...

Again, I can only speak for myself, but I don't find this topic difficult to talk about. If we are trying to have a conversation I think it is important that we try to base solutions on factual information. I don't see how any of this thread is defending the honor of Black men, however, for me, I am always in the business of defending and fighting for Black people.

Crackers Phinn said:
Pardon me while I go over to the Tyga thread and wonder how the following meme works with the response to the statistics in this thread.
Click to expand...

In my opinion, using Tyga as an example or reflection of anything related to Black men is a flawed line of thinking.
 
RocStar said:
I looked at the reference you made in your recent reply, however, I didn't see anything that asserted that Black men marry/date out at rates more than all other groups combined. Did I miss it?

I think we all know that Black men date out at a higher rate than Black women, but you claimed they date out more then all races combined and I don't think that is true (I also don't know why this was even brought up).



I am sorry, but your snark, shade and dismissiveness throughout the forum is legendary. You get what you give.
Click to expand...
I gave full references and summarized multiple articles that share different perspectives on BM and IR marriage, and its effects on BW. I also mentioned that I could not find that particular reference. I also posted something at the end to speak about the lack of consensus about BM marrying out and its effects on Black women. It think it would be way too much to post full research articles in this thread, but if you're really interested, the references are there for you to seek out the articles and their reference lists, if that's your thing.

Enough already. I only responded after a few catty posts that I found passive aggressive. Before that, none of my posts were shady. I never tried to shut anyone's perspectives down. That's the difference. I'm not gonna let people go back and forth and be rude like I can't see what they're saying. I find that kind of thing very childish and antagonistic. If someone disagrees, make an argument with receipts or offer a different perspective. It doesn't have to get hostile. It's not that deep. If you prefer not to engage, then to keep the peace, say nothing.

No one person should dictate a thread or put limitations on how we can speak about a topic. If someone posts a video and it's not to your liking, simply ignore it and post/respond to the things that are of interest. It's so controlling to basically to try shut down exchanges between people that aren't even conversing with you, because it diverges from your perspective. Let people read, learn, and ask questions. Let people lurk and meditate on the different ideas being shared. We all don't have to think/post alike. Also, carrying these grudges from thread to thread is disruptive and getting old. If you don't like my font, just add me to your ignore list or simply scroll past and keep it moving.
 
Last edited:
You can't build your individual life based on statistics. Ultimately, BW and BM have to just do their best for themselves, and build their families that way. A trickle of positive individual choices by most will eventually lead to a positive societal outcome. Rome wasn't built in a day.

The reality is that whites will never willingly let go of racial inequality. Why would they?? So black people, and specifically BM, have to accept that they have to build their communities in spite of that.

If "the white man won't let me ever get there" leads to the conclusion that it's not worth trying, then where do we go from there? Why even bother having kids? I mean, the logical outcome of that fatalistic and defeatist conclusion, is to self-eliminate as a race, as in, literally take ourselves out of the human genepool. Some are doing so at the individual level by breeding blackness out of their family.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Fighting black people against black people.

Defending black people against black people.

I'm going to stick a pin in the bolded and come back to it because that is a loaded premise when everyone in the field of conversation is black. (Stop playing, Kurlee is black)
Click to expand...

Yes, however, some are pro-Black woman and anti-Black man. I was clarifying that I am pro Black men and pro Black women. Also, I have no idea what Kurlee's identifies as, and it doesn't really matter to me.

Crackers Phinn said:
Tyga has a Jamaican father and a half black mother. Tyga reproduced with a black woman with two unsquintably black parents. Tyga is raising a black son who is arguably 70-ish% black (six to seven eighths). Where is the flaw in him being an example or reflection of black men?
Click to expand...

Because I throw out the unicorns (Obama) and the ninjas (Tyga) when looking at a reflection or representation of a Black men. To me, those categories are the exception, not the rule.
 
I just wonder if the same can be said about other POC i.e. Latinos or Hispanics, Asians, Indians, etc. Why are we also the focus of a study? We aren't lab rats...
 
Decades later and so much scholarship still echoes The Moynihan Report. Pathologizing the black family and the black feminization of poverty.

I think the dire state of aspects of our community skews what these numbers represent but I do agree, collectively the situation is grim. In my 30s my circle is comprised of intact black families who are upper MC and some of the women, while degreed are SAHMs. When I visit family back home the world I see is vastly different. Strollers pushed by girls half my age.

It is important not to let annectodotal experience frame what you believe to be reality. The fact is if you're reading this thread, you are, ironically, not the demographic comprising much of this trend.

All that said I'm a social scientist and have to bypass these articles at times in the interest of self care.
 
NICOLETHENUMBERONE said:
I've read stats that over 80% of US black men making $100, 000 per year marry black women.

But this man, sounds crazy. It really does just sound like some of them are just throwing up their hands and giving up. Because you don't make as much as your girlfriend or white counterparts, you think that means you are supposed to not do anything? Maybe you can't buy an engagement ring for 20k-get one for 2k. Maybe his job alone isn't enough, find other ways to make money I.e. stocks, bonds, mutual funds, real estate, etc. Yesterday, this white man, a teacher on the Nightly News with Lester Holt was speaking of how he needed to work two side jobs because his teaching salary didn't pay enough. Get this: his wife was a SAHM they had about four children. BAMN, he is trying to support his family and I was just thinking, "how many men would make their wife go back to work?"

I just hope the sentiments of this host aren't indicative of the average black men.
Click to expand...
Current stats are that bm college-educated newlyweds marry out at 30%. I know college doesn't always mean higher income but it usually does.

I can believe that overall 100k plus are married to bw but 1 in 5 is still high considering.
 
Crackers Phinn said:
Some fool that used to co-host with Yvette Carnell put out a video in response to the Brookings findings. The logical conclusion that he and some black male Phd came to is that the study proves that need to quit expecting black men to be providers. There's an added bonus when the pick me introduces the topic of black women being worthy of providers.

I'm only providing the link so folks can't say I'm lying on them. Starting at 27 minutes.


IS THIS YOUR KING?
Click to expand...

BW have BEEN marrying down. They are preaching to the choir
 
I haven't read the article or the thread. The things that keep smart women struggling financially are: 1) Pregnancy out of wedlock; 2) Marrying useless dudes 3) Divorce.

Of course there are exceptions and we all know several and there's anecdotes here and there. But for most of us regular people, OOW babies tend to happen when people are young, uneducated and not financially secure, limiting your options if you don't have family to help. Marrying a useless dude sucks up your finances, drags you down mentally and emotionally and getting divorced from a useless dude often leaves women with primary child-care, paying alimony or splitting assets.

I am lucky DH did well because he was broke like I when I married out of college. But the older, wiser me looking back would never do that. I am just lucky things panned out. I tell all of my friends to marry up, up, up, up and still marry well. Don't settle for a dude who is wealthy but ain't ish. It's not worth it. I'd rather die "alone."
 
Honey Bee said:
Oh, I know them! :lol: I didn't realize they were considered representative of bm thought (on yt or whatever). That's interesting. Hm. :scratchchin:
Click to expand...
Some bm on YouTube talk about sci first movies, family values, and how to grow your channel. Probably some specialize in butterflies and rainbows too but I haven't seen those particular channels.

These ppl are "the usual suspects" as in they like negativity, especially when they can blame black women for something.
 
On this lovely Easter Sunday, the Jew is going to bring a Muslim into the discussion. This message from Detroit Red is brought to you by Detroit Crackers.

"Instead of trying to change the white man, your mind and make you accept us. We change the mind of the black man and make him accept himself. As soon as he accepts himself, he'll solve his own problems. He won't be trying to force himself into your factory and into your bedroom and into your kitchen. "

 
cocosweet said:
I mean really wtf are bw supposed to do? Die?
Click to expand...

Marry somebody with ambition and money. Being a broke mule in love with a bunch of kids is not my idea of
living my best life.

Institutional racism plays a part but most black men in america are christians and they should
be able to do all things through christ that strengthens them including breaking racial and economic bonds. Amen

Again this is why I have no issues being called a gold digger. I didn't marry the one with the most gold I married
the one with some gold and that was concerned about my pockets. We have a mutual interest in building something
and not passing on debt.

Our working productive men need to shame & shun those that are not productive and mentor those who are unproductive but want something.

This is not for the Mammy Collective to fix.
 
Last edited:
PretteePlease said:
Marry somebody with ambition and money. Being a broke mule in love with a bunch of kids is not my idea of
living my best life.

Institutional racism plays a part but most black men in america are christians and they should
be able to do all things through christ that strengthens them including breaking racial and economic bonds. Amen

Again this is why I have no issues being called a gold digger. I didn't marry the one with the most gold I married
the one with some gold and that was concerned about my pockets. We have a mutual interest in building something
and not passing on debt.

Our working productive men need to shame, shun those that are not productive and mentor those who are unproductive but want something.

This is not for the Mammy Collective to fix.
Click to expand...
That was a knee jerk response to yet another Negroes Just Can’t Get It Together study.

I know the real answer is to date and marry calculatedly and with intention. If I’m not at a BBQ, I don’t need coal.

“Working with a brother” is defeatist. What incentive does a man have to elevate his station when he knows someone will accept what little he has to offer? Some men are self motivated and that’s preferred; these other chuckleheads need to be pushed into action.

Sings “I can do bad by myself.” “Don’t need help to stave to death.”
 
PretteePlease said:
Marry somebody with ambition and money. Being a broke mule in love with a bunch of kids is not my idea of
living my best life.

Institutional racism plays a part but most black men in america are christians and they should
be able to do all things through christ that strengthens them including breaking racial and economic bonds. Amen

Again this is why I have no issues being called a gold digger. I didn't marry the one with the most gold I married
the one with some gold and that was concerned about my pockets. We have a mutual interest in building something
and not passing on debt.

Our working productive men need to shame, shun those that are not productive and mentor those who are unproductive but want something.

This is not for the Mammy Collective to fix.
Click to expand...

tenor.gif
 
cocosweet said:
That was a knee jerk response to yet another Negroes Just Can’t Get It Together study.

I know the real answer is to date and marry calculatedly and with intention. If I’m not at a BBQ, I don’t need coal.

“Working with a brother” is defeatist. What incentive does a man have to elevate his station when he knows someone will accept what little he has to offer? Some men are self motivated and that’s preferred; these other chuckleheads need to be pushed into action.

Sings “I can do bad by myself.” “Don’t need help to stave to death.”
Click to expand...

I know i'm just being gasoline in a thread of flames

there are happy mediums every man doesn't want to be a millionaire
every woman doesn't want to be a mule.

there really needs to be a pussy protest. :saythat::prettyplease::saythat:
 
PretteePlease said:
Marry somebody with ambition and money. Being a broke mule in love with a bunch of kids is not my idea of
living my best life.

Institutional racism plays a part but most black men in america are christians and they should
be able to do all things through christ that strengthens them including breaking racial and economic bonds. Amen

Again this is why I have no issues being called a gold digger. I didn't marry the one with the most gold I married
the one with some gold and that was concerned about my pockets. We have a mutual interest in building something
and not passing on debt.

Our working productive men need to shame & shun those that are not productive and mentor those who are unproductive but want something.

This is not for the Mammy Collective to fix.
Click to expand...
Praise Dance Break.................Gloraaayy!
 
Crackers Phinn said:
On this lovely Easter Sunday, the Jew is going to bring a Muslim into the discussion. This message from Detroit Red is brought to you by Detroit Crackers.

"Instead of trying to change the white man, your mind and make you accept us. We change the mind of the black man and make him accept himself. As soon as he accepts himself, he'll solve his own problems. He won't be trying to force himself into your factory and into your bedroom and into your kitchen. "

Click to expand...

Church!
 
Crackers Phinn said:
The typical distractions.

We can't discuss the state of black men getting their :censored: together because deep down the majority of bw have accepted that the black community, as it is right now, is as good as it's ever going to get unless a white savior miracle restoring black men to their proper place in society happens. So instead, the next few pages will be dedicated to defending the honor of black men because one person said they date out more than any other group because that's easier to talk about.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pardon me while I go over to the Tyga thread and wonder how the following meme works with the response to the statistics in this thread.
Click to expand...

Correcting a falsehood isn't defending black men's honor. I think we would all agree that an intellectual discussion is more productive when the correct information is presented. The only reason it should bother anyone that @RocStar and I challenged that statement is if they only want to discuss information that paints bm in the worst light, regardless of the truth. There are plenty of reasons to critique bm without having to make stuff up.

I can't speak for rocstar but I do this in every thread, no matter the topic. If folks think it's annoying, cool, I agree, but to act like it's derailing is unfair.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

BK Bombshell
'marrying Down' Costs Educated Women $25k A Year
23 24 25
Replies
736
Views
27K
MizAvalon
MizAvalon
moonglowdiva
  • Locked
Top 10 reasons why Black men....
2
Replies
53
Views
2K
AnjelLuvs
AnjelLuvs
K
'Could Mr. Right be white?' More black women consider 'dating out'
Replies
21
Views
309
Naturallong81
Naturallong81
Black Ambrosia
Essence.com - Black Women Have Less Success In Online Dating
Replies
25
Views
525
Mis007
Mis007
antoine
Atlanta people: did any of you see this movie: ‘Why Do Black Men Date White Women?’
Replies
27
Views
461
Connie
Connie
Back
Top