Girl, in my dreams!! If that happens, I'll get my tubes tied after #4 - I hate the smell, taste, and feel of condoms.
see, this is why i think you talk about sex all the time.
Married Ladies...Wrap it Up?
- Thread starter Ediese
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see, this is why i think you talk about sex all the time.
LBoogie
Well-Known Member
I don't think it's a contradiction at all. I'm pro getting tested and think both parties should continue to do so for everything. Simply because you never know, there are STI's that someone can have for years, never show signs or ever transmit it, others can have undetectable STI levels at the time of being tested (say, the weeks/months before the marriage)...some have longer incubation periods than others, etc. There are a variety of reasons to get tested for one's own sexual health that really don't even have to involve a betrayal. But if I do pop up with some sh--....I will be getting MY healthcare from a prison infirmary.
Sorry, that's one of the "perks" of marriage..don't ask me how I know
I sorta, kinda, refuse...lol (unless he happens to be on Cancer meds and we HAVE to)
Why on cancer meds?
fletches
New Member
Now this I agree with.
I still get tested & it has nothing to do with not trusting my DH. My annual exams test me for everything else as a preventative measure so why not STD's. Nobody's perfect. I hold my DH up on a high pedestal, but I know things can happen. If it does (which I pray it never does) then at least I'll have noticed it early on.
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
JK, I don't want you to be like this lady I saw on the Discovery Channel, 55 and preggo with her first
To answer the question, me and DH don't use them
I'd change my name to Sarah.
But, but I don't....... I'm just very blunt when I do.
Oh, yeah. I still get tested - why not? *shrug* They are going to draw blood/take swabs anyway.
BKVincy
New Member
some meds.. I dunno about cancer but I know MS medication can cause you to have a misscarriage or serious birth defects for the baby
my bff has to be off of meds for 3 months before she can start to concieve her pregnanacy HAS to be planned
JustKiya
Well-Known Member
The ceremony is just window dressing.
True. Vows (promises) and trust. The wrapped argument seems to make more sense to me.
GaiasDaughter24
New Member
Raw for me and it has been since the day we were married. We didn't get pregnant wih Phoenix until we started trying, which I find shocking lol The only time I'd use any type of contraceptive is if I REALLY didn't want a baby at the time (When we're done DH is getting snipped 
) I just miscarried earlier in the month so no contraceptive at the moment. We're not trying like before but we're not preventing either.
I like the idea of getting tested once a year. I think we'll start doing that this year.
) I just miscarried earlier in the month so no contraceptive at the moment. We're not trying like before but we're not preventing either. I like the idea of getting tested once a year. I think we'll start doing that this year.
Kirei
New Member
Seriously tho...
I mean you kiss, lick, suck all over each other and swap every fluid imaginable and then you want to bust out a condom? How does that even work?
Also, (I am pro-testing) but, just remember testing doesn't prevent it. If he has an STD you will get it regardless.
I don't get all this "get tested!" okay...that won't stop you from catching an STD. I will help you catch it but, when you got it...you got it.
I mean you kiss, lick, suck all over each other and swap every fluid imaginable and then you want to bust out a condom? How does that even work?
Also, (I am pro-testing) but, just remember testing doesn't prevent it. If he has an STD you will get it regardless.
I don't get all this "get tested!" okay...that won't stop you from catching an STD. I will help you catch it but, when you got it...you got it.
PeanutButterandHoney
New Member
Because, I know someone who was on Luekemia meds and hormonal BC wasn't enough.
Those meds cause SERIOUS birth defects (ie like 3 and 4 arms on a fetus) and doctors don't trust hormonal BC enough to take the risk....sure does say a lot about the "98% success rate of hormonal BC"
Anyway, I know a luekemia (sp?) patient who had to sign some legal document saying that he and his wife HAD to use condoms and if she was to get preggo they weren'tliable because he is basically swearing to sing condoms.
Yep.
I 100% agree with this.
It seems that getting tested is kinda the afterkill.
If you are so "anti STDs" you would either refrain or wear condos.
I feel some kind of way about saying people are wrong for wearing condos but still strong on testing, like the two aren't the same. They are. Either way, it's a form of protection, one is more so hindsight.
The fact is, you don't get STDs in a relationship were neither party is stepping out. Both testing and condos acknowledge this
Just MO
gabulldawg
Well-Known Member
I definitely don’t understand the concept of using condoms while you’re married. My FH and I don’t use condoms now. While I definitely wish we had in the past 
I am looking forward to continuing to not use condoms once we are married. I plan on using birth control to prevent any future pregnancies until we are ready to conceive again. There is no way I would rely on condoms to prevent a pregnancy.
I trust my boo 100%. Just because some men cheat doesn’t mean that all men cheat. Just because someone’s husband cheated doesn’t mean that I need to give MY husband the side eye. If there ever came a time where I didn’t trust him then there would be a problem, and condoms wouldn’t solve it.
I do still plan on getting regularly checked anyway, since it is something that is recommended every year. But I will not be getting tested due to a lack of trust in my husband.
My FH and I don’t use condoms now. While I definitely wish we had in the past I am looking forward to continuing to not use condoms once we are married. I plan on using birth control to prevent any future pregnancies until we are ready to conceive again. There is no way I would rely on condoms to prevent a pregnancy. I trust my boo 100%. Just because some men cheat doesn’t mean that all men cheat. Just because someone’s husband cheated doesn’t mean that I need to give MY husband the side eye. If there ever came a time where I didn’t trust him then there would be a problem, and condoms wouldn’t solve it.
I do still plan on getting regularly checked anyway, since it is something that is recommended every year. But I will not be getting tested due to a lack of trust in my husband.
LBoogie
Well-Known Member
I'm an advocate of testing simply because if one does catch something, it's better to treat and deal with it ASAP than not knowing at all. I do it as part of my annual exam it isn't a big deal. I'm not running out like "oh man let me get tested." It's more of a "I'm here, I have insurance, it comes with the "package"...sure Dr., draw blood."
IMO testing and protection are two different worlds. Protection is preventative, testing is "maintenance" if something comes up.
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pookaloo83
New Member
Me and DH wear condoms, before I had DD we were using them if we remembered. That continued for about 4 yrs. Then boom! out of the blue I got pregnant. Now we use them all the time. DH doesn't want me taking birth control. Me either because it just doesn't seem right. Those pills messing with my hormones and such. Anyway DH sometimes wants to go raw, and me too, but the thought of me having another one right now? I have alot of plans, and another child will just set me back some more. We also get tested once a year. I do it nore because I work in the health field and these people have all sorts of mess.
Anyway DH sometimes wants to go raw, and me too, but the thought of me having another one right now? I have alot of plans, and another child will just set me back some more. We also get tested once a year. I do it nore because I work in the health field and these people have all sorts of mess.
Misshairdiva
Well-Known Member
If your married and using condoms for anything more than birth control then.. WHY GET MARRIED??
I am married and now I can happily sing " YEAH BABY I LIKE IT RAW!"
I am married and now I can happily sing " YEAH BABY I LIKE IT RAW!"
Natasha009
New Member
I think everyone is anti-STD
I think most people are just saying if they thought their husband might give them an STD and that's the reason they had to insist on condoms, then there's a big problem in the marriage. I don't expect or think my FH would give me anything which is why I choose not to use them, but if he DID give me anything, I'd want to know. Condoms are more of a trust issue, expecially in a committed relationship, but testing isn't just about my relationship, it's for my general health.
For me, I see it like this : I'm not gonna stop using condoms with every sex partner. Only my FH because of the deep level of trust and commitment we share (and I say my FH b/c we're getting married, not b/c I believe you need to be married for that kind of commitment). On the other hand, casual sex partner, BF, or husband, I'm not going to stop getting tested for any of them.
I would be just as suspicious of a husband who insists on condoms for any reason besides pregnancy / medical illness as I would be of one who insists on us NOT getting tested ever again.
Kimberly
New Member
exdh and I used condoms...the only times we slacked up from using them were when we were open to conception or I was on the shot. We only used them for birth control. I suck at taking pills. Prenatals seemed to be the only thing I could remember to take on a regular basis and that was only for 1-2 years at a time (pregnancy + nursing).
FH and I don't use anything. We've both been tested. He's had a vasectomy and I have an IUD...so...if we do happen to get pregnant...lol...that's a kid that's SUPPOSED to be here!
FH and I don't use anything. We've both been tested. He's had a vasectomy and I have an IUD...so...if we do happen to get pregnant...lol...that's a kid that's SUPPOSED to be here!
Southernbella.
Well-Known Member
We don't use them.
That said, if I for any reason suspected that he might be stepping out, I would make him wear one. I know...the minute you didn't trust your dh, you would be out the door, yadda yadda. Well, I wouldn't break up my family on some "maybe", but I would protect myself until I knew for sure one way or the other.
That said, if I for any reason suspected that he might be stepping out, I would make him wear one. I know...the minute you didn't trust your dh, you would be out the door, yadda yadda.
Well, I wouldn't break up my family on some "maybe", but I would protect myself until I knew for sure one way or the other.
Kirei
New Member
No one is saying get tested just for the sake of general health what I keep hearing is "Get tested if you're not going to wear condoms"
What sense does that make?
You should be getting tested for your general health regardless, condom or not, husband or not. So to me to even bring getting tested into this equation is a kind of moot point.
People will say "Well if you're not going to use condoms get tested at the very least..."
If you don't trust him you need to not have sex with him. Period. (not directed at you) But you look like boo boo the fool sexing some man that you think may have an STD.
Kirei
New Member
Per the bolded and I think that is what is cinfusing for some folks.
Also, most people only get tested once a year so dang HIV, herpes all that could have advance in 12 months. You never know, esecially if ya'll have been passing it back and forth for 12 months.
lala
Well-Known Member
I can understand why some couples use them...it's all about choice. However, we don't because we won't get pregnant and we participate in marital monogamy so we don't have to wrap it up.
Sex wouldn't even be open for discussion if I even suspected my DH of having extramarital sex. So again, no wraps for us.
Sex wouldn't even be open for discussion if I even suspected my DH of having extramarital sex. So again, no wraps for us.
MuziqizLyfe
Well-Known Member
No condoms here... that is what my IUD is for Once this thing expires, I'm getting my tubes tied and as for being worried about STDs...not really a concern of mine. I trust dh and get my yearly exam... if something ever crops up, I will probably end up wearing an orange jumpsuit.
Once this thing expires, I'm getting my tubes tied and as for being worried about STDs...not really a concern of mine. I trust dh and get my yearly exam... if something ever crops up, I will probably end up wearing an orange jumpsuit.I definitely don’t understand the concept of using condoms while you’re married.
Congrats on getting engaged!
I wont be using a lick of protection when I'm married, but I recognize that it doesnt mean something cant happen to me.
Avaya
Well-Known Member
Sorry but I will never have unprotected sex with my husband if he is not a virgin when we marry. I am not going to be penalized for his past whorish ways.
It is not even about infidelity for me; it is about past activity and latent diseases. I'm not going to have my life ruined because of someones else's past transgressions. Spend my whole life being chaste just to marry a dude with hide-n-seek, sharing is caring diseases. I don't think so!
Plus I have no interest whatsoever in having children. I don't want the burden of birth control all on my shoulders.
It is not even about infidelity for me; it is about past activity and latent diseases. I'm not going to have my life ruined because of someones else's past transgressions. Spend my whole life being chaste just to marry a dude with hide-n-seek, sharing is caring diseases. I don't think so!
Plus I have no interest whatsoever in having children. I don't want the burden of birth control all on my shoulders.
LBoogie
Well-Known Member
Wow!
I have so many, but one question regarding the bolded:
Why even think of going into a marriage with that thought process and why not JUST marry a virgin?
DarkHair
New Member
We don't wrap nothin up. I bought a box of wrappers before we got married. That same box is buried in the garage somewhere. With today being our 2 year anni, he's not given me any reason to not trust him. We've taken our time to get to know each other (7 years). Knowing is half the battle. The only reason that I intend on having it wrapped, is post pregnancy if I choose to not get on BC.
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