Married Ladies...Wrap it Up?

[Ediese]

Do you color with or without a wrapper? I read a couple responses in another thread, and I was a bit perplexed. Personally, based on a past relationship, I know how great it can be without the wrapper, and it's one of the biggest reasons that I'm looking forward to getting married.

Now I'm hearing that I still need to use wrappers when I get married? Really? What's the point? I've been counting the days until I don't have to use them. lol I'm very much familiar with the stats re: married men/women contracting stds from their partners. It's like Creflo said last week, 'you should only be having sex with your spouse. when people say married people contract stds too, it's because one of them decided to have sex OUTSIDE the marriage'.

How do you guys feel about this? I would hope that when I do get married, it's to someone that I can trust with my life. Literally. (those of you that are using condoms within your marriage to prevent pregnancy, that's different. I'm mostly talking about those using it for preventative measures against stds.) If I can't trust my husband to be faithful, should I even get married to him? I'm aware that sometimes I'm a bit naive with certain things. Is this a naive way of looking at it? Is this the reality?

What say you?

 

[JustKiya]

I don't think it's naive, but then I've been called naive, sooooooo. I think if folks believe that not wearing a condom in marriage is naive, they also believe that trusting your husband to not cheat is naive, too - and I can't get with that.

And I've told him we wouldn't have to get a divorce if he gave me something, because I would be a widow already.

 

[BKVincy]

I use non hormonal BC but we do have condoms as backup in case but no rarely do we use condoms

We not trying to have kids right now and hormonal BC is not for me

 

[LunadeMiel]

I most definitely will NOT be using condoms once I'm married. WTH is the point of getting married if I can't hit it raw? I wonder what to these people do when they want to get pregnant? Do they assume their partner is halting their freakish ways because they are trying to conceive ...

 

[mrsjohnson75]

I voted for raw doggin..

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Sorry, that's one of the "perks" of marriage..don't ask me how I know

I sorta, kinda, refuse...lol (unless he happens to be on Cancer meds and we HAVE to)

 

[LBoogie]

I trust my husband 300%, I wouldn't have married him otherwise. No candy wrappers for us. And since we aren't "trying" either way (to have a baby or not) there's no need for wrappers as BC but there isn't a pressing desire to take the candy out of the microwave (couldn't think of anything better) before it explodes either.

I wonder about the advocates of marital wrappers and their desire to have a child. Do they take the wrapper off for the cycles they try and if/when successful, put them back on? (I don't see that one making sense at all).

If a married couple feels the need to protect themselves from STD's, they may need to rethink their union.

If I ever feel the need to think "hmm, I don't want to catch something from him," I'll express those thought to the attorney I'd be on my way to see after I leave my doctor.

 

[exoticmommie]

Ummm, I be hitting it raw.

If I am having to use a condom for reasons other than not getting pregnant or being allergic to cum. Then I personally would be evaluating my relationship. I don't think I could be married to someone that I could not trust.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

DH & I use them

I'll be 46 years old this year--I AM NOT trying to have a baby @ my age . I have nothing against a woman over 40 having kids--I just don't want anymore.

My oldest just turned 21 and my baby will be 13. In 5 years they will both be grown and I am not trying to start over again.

We don't use them all the time, esp. a few days before I know my cycle will come on/or a few days after. Those in between days we are extra careful--neither of us wants to have any more children.

He has also had a vasectomy.....but I don't trust that 100%

Before we made the decision to not have any more children, we didn't use them.

 

[JustKiya]

That's one bright spot - I'll never NEED to use birth control again. As hard as it's been for us to get pregnant, I think I'll be openwombed til menopause!

 

[MD_Lady]

I use non hormonal BC but we do have condoms as backup in case but no rarely do we use condoms

We not trying to have kids right now and hormonal BC is not for me

Pretty much... If a woman is unable to use hormonal birth control and the couple prefers a low maintaince method with a low failure rate, the options are somewhat limited. People don't realize that infidelity and STIs aren't always the issue.

 

[BKVincy]

DH & I use them

I'll be 46 years old this year--I AM NOT trying to have a baby @ my age . I have nothing against a woman over 40 having kids--I just don't want anymore.

My oldest just turned 21 and my baby will be 13. In 5 years they will both be grown and I am not trying to start over again.

We don't use them all the time, esp. a few days before I know my cycle will come on/or a few days after. Those in between days we are extra careful--neither of us wants to have any more children.

He has also had a vasectomy.....but I don't trust that 100%

Before we made the decision to not have any more children, we didn't use them.

OMG man I cant tell you how many women between 45-55 get pregnant thinking that they cant

my mom tells me all the time mind you they dont come in till they're like over 4 months cause they just chalk up missing their period to something else other than preganancy

 

[Ediese]

I most definitely will NOT be using condoms once I'm married. WTH is the point of getting married if I can't hit it raw? I wonder what to these people do when they want to get pregnant? Do they assume their partner is halting their freakish ways because they are trying to conceive ...

You're so funny, but that's exactly what I'm talking about! I've been counting down the days, and I'm not even engaged, so I can't imagine when I'm finally married. I'm telling y'all I already had a taste..um..a few years ago, and it feels sooooo different. lmbo

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

That's one bright spot - I'll never NEED to use birth control again. As hard as it's been for us to get pregnant, I think I'll be openwombed til menopause!

That's what you say now, but once you pop you don't stop.

I know a couple that went five years (I mean, he was doing the whole nine in her all the time) and she never got preggo. She finally got pregnant and has been pregnant every year for the past 3 years.. lol

 

[La Colocha]

We don't use them, also we both get tested for std's and aids every year. This is a decision that we made together before we got married. I know something could happen but i pray that our marriage stays built on trust and so far so good. If i ever felt like that i had to use protection with my husband then its time for me to move on.

Eta- as far as children my factory is closed so...

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Pretty much... If a woman is unable to use hormonal birth control and the couple prefers a low maintaince method with a low failure rate, the options are somewhat limited. People don't realize that infidelity and STIs aren't always the issue.

Me and FH use condoms to prevent pregnancy.
I don't see this changing if we were married either.
If people were as broke as we are, then, they would be strict on condom use too.
We would use alternative methods if we had the money for an oops, but we just can't afford to NOT use them.
I don't do hormones, don't trust em.
I am a conspiracy theorist so...

So, I see what she saying.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

OMG man I cant tell you how many women between 45-55 get pregnant thinking that they cant

my mom tells me all the time mind you they dont come in till they're like over 4 months cause they just chalk up missing their period to something else other than preganancy

Yes We know several couples that had raised grown children--about to hit 50 and were surprised with another baby We do not want that to be us

 

[JustKiya]

That's what you say now, but once you pop you don't stop.

I know a couple that went five years (I mean, he was doing the whole nine in her all the time) and she never got preggo. She finally got pregnant and has been pregnant every year for the past 3 years.. lol

Girl, in my dreams!! If that happens, I'll get my tubes tied after #4 - I hate the smell, taste, and feel of condoms.

 

[LBoogie]

I most definitely will NOT be using condoms once I'm married. WTH is the point of getting married if I can't hit it raw? I wonder what to these people do when they want to get pregnant? Do they assume their partner is halting their freakish ways because they are trying to conceive ...

Same thing I was thinking...I was typing when you were posting.

 

[Ediese]

Pretty much... If a woman is unable to use hormonal birth control and the couple prefers a low maintaince method with a low failure rate, the options are somewhat limited. People don't realize that infidelity and STIs aren't always the issue.

I totally get that, but in the thread that I'm referring to it was infered that the reason for not using to help prevent possible stds based on stats of married people getting infected. I think even some drs are pushing for that.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

Taste?

You've *ahem* with a condom on?
/serious question

Trust me, it happens.

 

[LBoogie]

That's one bright spot - I'll never NEED to use birth control again. As hard as it's been for us to get pregnant, I think I'll be openwombed til menopause!

OMG @ the bolded

 

[JustKiya]

Taste?

You've *ahem* with a condom on?
/serious question

Trust me, it happens.

No. But it leaves a taste behind. So, if we decide to color another picture, and start out with facepainting? ew, ew, EEEWWWWW!!!

In my non-monogamous years, I invested in the flavored kind.

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

No. But it leaves a taste behind. So, if we decide to color another picture, and start out with facepainting? ew, ew, EEEWWWWW!!!

In my non-monogamous years, I invested in the flavored kind.

Okay, gotcha.
I reserve my comments (not to yours but the fact that I had to ask)

 

[fletches]

We use them sometimes when I know my fertility is highest, but we use them as a form of BC.

He'd rather use them than have me on BC pills. Me and those drugs just don't get along

 

[mshoney2u]

Ediese- I know the thread that you are talking about and we are here >>><<<. I was looking like after I read that thread. I even talked it over with my mom. I wish my gynecologist would.

 

[MoniintheMiddle]

That's one bright spot - I'll never NEED to use birth control again. As hard as it's been for us to get pregnant, I think I'll be openwombed til menopause!

JK, I don't want you to be like this lady I saw on the Discovery Channel, 55 and preggo with her first

To answer the question, me and DH don't use them

 

[Natasha009]

I don't believe in wrapping it up after marriage but I do still believe in both parties getting tested regularly after marriage.

So many woman think there husband would never cheat, they trust there man 1000% (and I'm one of them, I trust my fiancee with my all), but the reality is that some men do cheat and successfully get away with it. I'm not prepared to go blind from Syphilus at 50 or something crazy like that - we don't give up on our dental health or physical health after marriage, so why do so many people quit with their sexual health? Also some men never test positive or show signs for HPV even when they have it and later on a woman could end up with cervical cancer b/c she stopped getting tested and only now realizes something is wrong.

And yes I know, it's a contradiction! I don't expect my husband to ever give me anything so I'm not preventing it from happening, but if he ever did I would just want to discover it early.

 

[YankeeCandle]

---Birth Control issues completely aside (in reality, I sure as heck will be using them for BC)--

I think that if I married my longterm SO, I would not use a condom BUT I would continue getting yearly HIV and STD tests and sharing the results with each other. I could see how he'd be hurt or offended by keeping on with the blood tests, but this is my life we're talking about. I only have one life, and I'm doing everything I can to hold onto it for as long as possible.

If he outright rejected continued testing (or condoms if I wanted to use those), I would not marry him. Some things are negotiable; not this one.

 

[MD_Lady]

I totally get that, but in the thread that I'm referring to it was infered that the reason for not using to help prevent possible stds based on stats of married people getting infected. I think even some drs are pushing for that.

Oh I know Ediese. IMO, divorce would be a better option than condoms if a married person feels at risk for contracting an STI. If that's a factor in the BC equation, that couple has some SERIOUS issues.