Is It Easier For The Chocolate Sisters To Get Men Of Other Races!!!!!

[FunkyMunky]

First of all, I didn't intend to offend any of my darker skin sisters. I just want and have to know. Also, I am speaking from my experience and those of my close friends.

I live in South Florida. I don't think that FL is the best place to find and date men of other races because even though FL is diverse, a lot of people are closed-minded. I also believe that the educated and anti-MTV/BET AA sisters are struggling with finding partners here. I feel that many of the men here are more interested in dating Caribbean women or native African women. All of the stereotypes about African American women have affected the way a lot of men of other races view us.

I am attractive and I have no problem getting a man but most of the time I see white men with darker complected women. My darker complected friends have white men checking for them all of the time. I get a few crumbs here and there. Why is that? I want to know.

1st Question - If you are a darker complected woman, do you feel you can get a man of another race easily because they hit on you regularly.

2nd Question - If you fit question #1, where do you live?

**White = anything other than black.

I know this may seem like a crazy question but I'm sure there is at least 1 other woman out there that feels the same way.

BTW, I have dated several middle eastern men, Arab and Non-Arab.

 

[carpediem628]

I'm dark and find that men of other races hit on me before they'd hit on my lighter skinned friends. Of all my friends, I'm the one whose joked on about how much white men love me.

I don't know if it's a color thing or if it's the way I carry myself. Black men hit on me as well, but I'd have to say that white men hit on me almost as much as black men, if not more.

Every now and then, I get the "I want you stare" from an Asian or Middle Eastern man, but only once did one ever attempt to hit on me. Actually, the one that did try to hit on me was a middle aged Chinese man who owned a BMW dealership. For that reason alone, I did not trust him because I felt like he just wanted to fulfill some sick fantasy, and therefore, I did not call him. I could've been wrong, but I wasn't trying to find out.

 

[dlewis]

This will be interesting.

When I see interracial couples, its normally a darker woman with white, spanish, etc.......

 

[Shimmie]

Ahhh, yes. Quite easy. Actually a little to easy. For it is they who approach us. I can line em' up...younger and older than me.

At one point, I had considered most men of other races better than our Black men. They (ssemed) to treat me so much nicer... at least from my personal experience.

As much as I enjoy the attention and the respect I'm getting from White men and other races, deep down I still love our beautiful Black men...the darker the better.

 

[Shimmie]

I'm dark and find that men of other races hit on me before they'd hit on my lighter skinned friends. Of all my friends, I'm the one whose joked on about how much white men love me.

I don't know if it's a color thing or if it's the way I carry myself. Black men hit on me as well, but I'd have to say that white men hit on me almost as much as black men, if not more.

Every now and then, I get the "I want you stare" from an Asian or Middle Eastern man, but only once did one ever attempt to hit on me. Actually, the one that did try to hit on me was a middle aged Chinese man who owned a BMW dealership. For that reason alone, I did not trust him because I felt like he just wanted to fulfill some sick fantasy, and therefore, I did not call him. I could've been wrong, but I wasn't trying to find out.

Been there, too. It gave me the 'creeps.' I hate when men do that. I don't call men anyway, unless it's in a relationship. And I don't give my number out, unless God has lead me to do so. So obviously very few men have my number. Very few... (my son, son-in-law, my brothers, my nephews, my Pastor and his wife, only two 'male' friends...Geee, long list...Oh well).

 

[FlowerHair]

I have to agree.
I think that most white men who want a black partner want someone who is dark skinned, I can't explain why? For white women it doesn't seem to matter as much. Many men love African women especially - I see it all the time in personal ads over here

 

[s_terry]

I consider myself a caramel color. Kinda of like principal o n the Steve harvey show. I have had men of other races look and admire me and tell me I am gorgoeus. Only a small fraction has actually asked me out although they do flirt heavily. Not sure why that is.

 

[Amina]

I voted:

I consider myself dark complected and men of other races hit on me all the time.

I wouldn't have a problem getting a man from another race (but dang it I really wish they would leave me alone now).

I have been approached by Asians (esp. Indians), whites, mexicans, etc.

Right now I live in the northern part of Louisiana...

 

[Hil84figer]

I am a dark-skinned sister. My family is from Ghana but I was born here. Most people can tell I am of African descent. Here in Md, I don't get approached a lot or at all. I get the stares which I hate. I don't like it when people stare at you its comfortable.

I guess that I doesn't help that I have a no nonsense, don't mess me with look on my face.

 

[ShaniKeys]

I actually have another question: how easy is it for y'all to date INSIDE your ethnic group?

I don't if y'all have seen the movie "Something New", but I'm actually referring to the part where the white guy asks her(=Sanaa Lathan) to take her extensions out, and when she starts dating the black guy (Blair Underwood ) he asks her to put the extensions back on. Tyra Banks was on the Tonight Show once and she talked about a similar incident: she was dating a guy, and when they got home and she wanted to take her make up off the guy was like: oh no, don't, leave it all on (Tyra Banks said she had extensions and full on make up on, it actually hurt her feelings). I know I'm sort of making it long but to make it short: I sometimes have the feeling that black men are somewhat superficial (although that may not be the case in the US, I've been to NY twice and I did get hit on with or without make up ) but over here in Belgium, black men only pay attention to you (as a black woman) if you're looking extremely good (t-shirt&jeans doesn't cut iterplexed ). Is that something that some of y'all have experienced or would like to comment on?

 

[Amina]

I actually have another question: how easy is it for y'all to date INSIDE your ethnic group?
Is that something that some of y'all have experienced or would like to comment on?

For some reason I don't get approached by African American men that often (hell, I can count on both my hand how many were actually interested in me...I am not sure why...

 

[isioma85]

Shanikeys you make a very solid point.

A black guy with a black girlfriend who takes off her extensions/braids and is rocking a braidout will probably ask her, "When are you getting your hair done?" A white (or any other ethnicity) guy with a black girlfriend (I can't say this from experience, I'm just painting a scenario here) who takes out her extensions and is rocking a braidout or a fro might get comments about how different it looks, how the texture of her hair is so fascinating, etc.

I was in my school and went to the cafeteria in a kaftan I got from home (Nigeria) and some thong slippers, and I let my (short-ish) hair out in a braid out, no make up. All the white guys who were in my class commented on my appearance in a positive light. My black guy friends asked me if I just woke up, and if I had an appointment at the salon for later in the evening.

I am quite dark (don't let the siggy fool you ) and in the summer I get even blacker. I get hit on by white, Arab, other-country-African, and Mexican men on the daily. And I do notice that light skinned women do not seem to get hit on by men of other ethinicities more, but the AA brothers lose their minds over a 'redbone' :eyebrows2. Even in Nigeria, most of the women who had husbands from other countries were really really darkskinned.

 

[Ms Red]

This is really deep, but a good question.... I don't know how it is in Belgium but in my experience, in the East, it seems men will hit on you if you have rollers in your hair. Ok. That sounds crazy. What I mean is.... I am from the South and in general we Texas people (ok not all but me) love our big hair, make-up and heels. I'm more overdressed than casual. I don't know if it's the pageant culture or what but... that's what I saw a lot growing up. Even if you had on jeans and a blouse it was coordinated with ribbons in your hair-- just crazy.
Since I've lived on the East coast (during and after college), I will be looking my worse-- no makeup, hair pulled into a ponytail, jeans and men will constantly hit on me. I don't know why?! It's strange to me. Maybe they think you're more likely to talk to them dressed down? Not sure.

In college I dated a guy from Ghana who lived in DC and went to Univ. of Penn. I love makeup (at least lipgloss and mascara) and he would throw a fit when I'd put it on-- "you don't need makeup I hate that color on you!" So I was like I am light- and I almost never get hit on by any ethnicity of men except African American. Period. They might stare or look but they do NOT approach. Black men on the other hand-- another story.

I actually have another question: how easy is it for y'all to date INSIDE your ethnic group?

I don't if y'all have seen the movie "Something New", but I'm actually referring to the part where the white guy asks her(=Sanaa Lathan) to take her extensions out, and when she starts dating the black guy (Blair Underwood ) he asks her to put the extensions back on. Tyra Banks was on the Tonight Show once and she talked about a similar incident: she was dating a guy, and when they got home and she wanted to take her make up off the guy was like: oh no, don't, leave it all on (Tyra Banks said she had extensions and full on make up on, it actually hurt her feelings). I know I'm sort of making it long but to make it short: I sometimes have the feeling that black men are somewhat superficial (although that may not be the case in the US, I've been to NY twice and I did get hit on with or without make up ) but over here in Belgium, black men only pay attention to you (as a black woman) if you're looking extremely good (t-shirt&jeans doesn't cut iterplexed ). Is that something that some of y'all have experienced or would like to comment on?

 

[camellia]

I consider myself medium brown. I'm one of the darkest of my brothers and sisters.

I get hit on my men of all races, but the over whelming majority are white men. Usually of Eastern European descent. It's kind of funny actually, I can sometimes just look at a guy and I know what's coming. "I just had to tell you, you're beautiful! You're soooo exotic looking! Where are you from?"

I ended up marrying one of those men. My husband is Lithuanian, first generation.

 

[sunnydaze]

I only get hit on period when I am looking broke down..ironically the time when you really just want to be left alone.

 

[Aubergold]

I'm very dark and I usually get more compliment from white people in general. It's also funny b/c the black girls at my school always compliment me but black guys tend to vary. There are instances in the past where black girls look at me like I'm supposed to be pretty and are confused. Skin color plays a role but I've found more and more that if you are a pretty girl, guys will hit on you regardless.

 

[rozlips]

I've been told by white men that they don't approach lighter skinned black women because they are generally rejected more by them. Apparently lc black women tend to be more 'militant.' I think if you look at our history many of the 'ride or die' sisters have been of a paler hue. Presumably they're trying to prove their blackness and being with a white man isn't part of that. I also think that lc black women have more success with black men, so they're not as available to white men as their dc counterpart.

 

[ShaniKeys]

Shanikeys you make a very solid point.

A black guy with a black girlfriend who takes off her extensions/braids and is rocking a braidout will probably ask her, "When are you getting your hair done?" A white (or any other ethnicity) guy with a black girlfriend (I can't say this from experience, I'm just painting a scenario here) who takes out her extensions and is rocking a braidout or a fro might get comments about how different it looks, how the texture of her hair is so fascinating, etc.

I was in my school and went to the cafeteria in a kaftan I got from home (Nigeria) and some thong slippers, and I let my (short-ish) hair out in a braid out, no make up. All the white guys who were in my class commented on my appearance in a positive light. My black guy friends asked me if I just woke up, and if I had an appointment at the salon for later in the evening.

I am quite dark (don't let the siggy fool you ) and in the summer I get even blacker. I get hit on by white, Arab, other-country-African, and Mexican men on the daily. And I do notice that light skinned women do not seem to get hit on by men of other ethinicities more, but the AA brothers lose their minds over a 'redbone' :eyebrows2. Even in Nigeria, most of the women who had husbands from other countries were really really darkskinned.

I've had the exact same experience. When I wear my hair out, whites will always comment in a positive way. And I remember being in the train talking to a black man, I had my hair 'fro'd up and the guy asked me if I was on my way to getting my hair done, as if having an afro can only be a temporary phase :s And when I'm not wearing any make up whatsoever I get hit on by men of other ethnicities, most black men only approach me when I'm all made up.

 

[rozlips]

A black guy with a black girlfriend who takes off her extensions/braids and is rocking a braidout will probably ask her, "When are you getting your hair done?" A white (or any other ethnicity) guy with a black girlfriend (I can't say this from experience, I'm just painting a scenario here) who takes out her extensions and is rocking a braidout or a fro might get comments about how different it looks, how the texture of her hair is so fascinating, etc.

I think this is what is behind a lot of the 'hair issues' black women deal with. I've heard many black women say they can't stop using relaxers/weaves whathaveyou because they'll lose their attractiveness to black men. I know for myself, my long hair was one of the major drawing points to black men. Once I started dating IR, I didn't need it anymore and was free to stop using chemicals. Liberating to say the least.

 

[rozlips]

Oh, forgot to add; there was once a forum on Yahoo! called 'Light-skinned Black Women for White Men.' I have no idea if its still around or not. Anyway, I think their basic concept was to let white men know that lc black women were interested in white men as well. I joined out of curiosity. The main vibe I got was a bit of resentment toward dc black women. It seemed that the lc black women were accustomed to being 'top-dog' as it were when it came to competition with dc black women for black men. They seemed somewhat miffed that the playing field was more or less even when it pertained to men of other races. I thought it was interesting, but they got spammed and trolled so much eventually they disbanded. I wonder where they went.

 

[Aubergold]

Oh, forgot to add; there was once a forum on Yahoo! called 'Light-skinned Black Women for White Men.' I have no idea if its still around or not. Anyway, I think their basic concept was to let white men know that lc black women were interested in white men as well. I joined out of curiosity. The main vibe I got was a bit of resentment toward dc black women. It seemed that the lc black women were accustomed to being 'top-dog' as it were when it came to competition with dc black women for black men. They seemed somewhat miffed that the playing field was more or less even when it pertained to men of other races. I thought it was interesting, but they got spammed and trolled so much eventually they disbanded. I wonder where they went.

you're not serious?

 

[AtlantaJJ]

First of all, I didn't intend to offend any of my darker skin sisters. I just want and have to know. Also, I am speaking from my experience and those of my close friends.

I live in South Florida. I don't think that FL is the best place to find and date men of other races because even though FL is diverse, a lot of people are closed-minded. I also believe that the educated and anti-MTV/BET AA sisters are struggling with finding partners here. I feel that many of the men here are more interested in dating Caribbean women or native African women. All of the stereotypes about African American women have affected the way a lot of men of other races view us.

I am attractive and I have no problem getting a man but most of the time I see white men with darker complected women. My darker complected friends have white men checking for them all of the time. I get a few crumbs here and there. Why is that? I want to know.

1st Question - If you are a darker complected woman, do you feel you can get a man of another race easily because they hit on you regularly.

2nd Question - If you fit question #1, where do you live?

**White = anything other than black.

I know this may seem like a crazy question but I'm sure there is at least 1 other woman out there that feels the same way.

BTW, I have dated several middle eastern men, Arab and Non-Arab.

#1 - Yes, I have always gotten more play from white, asian (my son's father is asian), and hispanic men (to a lesser degree) than black men. Lighter skinned black men are more likely to speak up to me than darker skinned men. My family always tease me that I will marry a white man.

#2 I was born and raised in Los Angeles County. It was a given there, and not a big deal. When I moved to GA, I saw little interracial dating, less between black women white men. Now it's all over the place.

I attribute my interaction professionaly and through my sports activities to the avaliablity of more white men as another reason. I'm simply just around more of them in general. Only since I recently started taking Marshall Arts that I have been exposed to and hit on by black men. (refreshing!)

 

[dannie]

I dont get hit on that often. I'm usually dressed in work clothes(modest), hair in a bun, with my glasses on. Ya know, looking real school teacher-ish. When I'm out clubbin, 1-2 guys might hit on me a nite, they are usually men from all different races, but the majority are black. The last guy who hit on me was at the gas station and he was swedish&black.

My white friend ONLY gets hit on by black men when we are out. Maybe a Mexican or two. But I have never seen her get hit on by a white man. Ever. However she's not into light or mixed looking men. They have to be dark choclate and bald.

My mexican friend gets hit on by other mexicans and as of late a few black dudes.

So I cant confirm or deny the OP's question, just sharing what I know.

 

[StrawberryQueen]

I'm dark as hell and men of other races hit on me all the time. Moreso especially now that I'm natural.

 

[Shimmie]

I voted:

I consider myself dark complected and men of other races hit on me all the time.

I wouldn't have a problem getting a man from another race (but dang it I really wish they would leave me alone now).

I have been approached by Asians (esp. Indians), whites, mexicans, etc.

Right now I live in the northern part of Louisiana...

I think I know how you feel here. I am feeling uncomfortable a lot more.

The mailman at our office is White and I can't understand why he has to linger. Just leave the mail and go. Gee Whiz, he waits for me to get off of the phone, or he will wait for me to finish whatever mail I may be still working on. And I don't really want him to do this. But White men DO this to us. They linger...

Even my girlfriends have this same experience. We're all different shades of brown. My skin is brown/red (copperish). But it's as if they are fascinated with Black women of all shades all of a sudden.

Middle Eastern men, Hispanic and (east) Indians are really just as 'attentive.'

Maybe it goes along with the Angelina and Madonna thing about having to adopt Black babies.... Black is in.

To give our race credit, I've also noticed African men are extremely 'flirty.' I give a quick smile (minimal eye contact), say God bless you and keep moving. I don't want to encourage any of them, White, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, or Black. I remain subdued and modest and move away as fast as I can.

 

[simplertimes]

I'm a medium tone but get very dark in the summer. So I will say that I am dark skinned. I find that in the summertime when I am my darkest, VERY few black men hit on me, but men of other races are always approaching. But in the winter when I'm at my "palest" to say the least, black men approach me left and right. And forget it if I have braids, barely any black men approach me. They love my relaxed hair.

I think men like what is "exotic" to them. If a man is dark skinned, they are more inclined to want someone lighter because it looks more interesting to them and vice versa. I have a friend who is very dark, and when we go out white guys looooooooooooooooove her. So anyway I'm just rambling now.....

 

[Shimmie]

I dont get hit on that often. I'm usually dressed in work clothes(modest), hair in a bun, with my glasses on. Ya know, looking real school teacher-ish. When I'm out clubbin, 1-2 guys might hit on me a nite, they are usually men from all different races, but the majority are black. The last guy who hit on me was at the gas station and he was swedish&black.

My white friend ONLY gets hit on by black men when we are out. Maybe a Mexican or two. But I have never seen her get hit on by a white man. Ever. However she's not into light or mixed looking men. They have to be dark choclate and bald.

My mexican friend gets hit on by other mexicans and as of late a few black dudes.

So I cant confirm or deny the OP's question, just sharing what I know.

I also 'subdue' my looks in public, but it still happens. I make it a point to cover any and everything that would get attention. I don't even wear make-up and when I do, it's minimal. I wear minimal jewelry and mostly small stud earrings. My hair in protective styles.

The men are still attracted to you, you may not be aware that's all.

 

[AtlantaJJ]

I think I know how you feel here. I am feeling uncomfortable a lot more.

The mailman at our office is White and I can't understand why he has to linger. Just leave the mail and go. Gee Whiz, he waits for me to get off of the phone, or he will wait for me to finish whatever mail I may be still working on. And I don't really want him to do this. But White men DO this to us. They linger... Even my girlfriends have this same experience. It's as if they are fascinated with Black women all of a sudden.

Middle Eastern men, Hispanic and (east) Indians are really just as 'attentive.'

Maybe it goes along with the Angelina and Madonna thing about having to adopt Black babies.... Black is in.

To give our race credit, I've also noticed African men are extremely 'flirty.' I give a quick smile (minimal eye contact), say God bless you and keep moving. I don't want to encourage any of them, White, Middle Eastern, Hispanic, or Black. I remain subdued and modest and move away as fast as I can.

I've had some very bold "propositions" lately! I'm a little shocked because it seems it's increased over the past year... I thought it was just me...or my surroundings...interesting

 

[rozlips]

you're not serious?

As death and taxes. I'm going to google around and see if I can find anything from that group.

 

[Aubergold]

As death and taxes. I'm going to google around and see if I can find anything from that group.

Oh please do try. My goodness. I don't even know if it's a good thing or if it's kinda sad or what.