I knew He Was Broke when....

[LoveBeautyKisses]

Yall think I'm playing

 

[confusedlg]

he pulls up the gas station, looks at me and asks if i have any money to fill up HIS tank.

he asks if im hungry, I say yes, then this foo pulls a DOUBLE CHEESBURGER out of his POCKET!!!!!!!! wth?!

I just cried tears over this!! Hands down best story ever. Mine aren't even worth telling after this.

 

[blue_flower]

I knew he was broke when he told me works two jobs (60 hr/wk) BUT he was afraid of getting overdraft fees and he didn't know if he'd be able to pay his monthly rent and his car payment (an old Chevy Cavalier). I guess I was supposed to offer him sone money, but I didn't and I haven't heard from him in months.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I knew he was a broke 43 year old when I told him about another 43 year old man that only made X amount of money, and he said, "Well, now hold on a minute..."

That last sentence is always the kiss of death (lmao)

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

 

[toinette]

i dont understand how y'all are lending these broke asses significant amounts of money especially when you know they're broke asses. Especially the ones who are asking for money after the first date

 

[AlwaysNatural]

Always asking for money, but acting like I'm cheap for seperating necessary budgeting, savings and leisure money.


Sent from my iPod touch using LHCF

 

[Angelinhell]

Bumping because it's funny!

 

[Ganjababy]

I don't think broke a..s..s men should date.

 

[Ayesha81]

Im dating a guy who has his own moving company. He tries to pretend he has money.. But I suspect he does not have it like that because he......

-wears the same jeans whenever we go out
-asked to borrow $500 when his company truck needed to be repaired
-has only 1 pair of $600.00 shoes
-does not have his own place
-tries to move into my place
-says he will take me to work and pick me up using my car NOT HIS
-gets a mercedes and then a few weeks later trades it in for a Honda accord

 

[HairNinja]

I remember this thread. Hilarious!

 

[MrsIQ]

Im dating a guy who has his own moving company. He tries to pretend he has money.. But I suspect he does not have it like that because he......

-wears the same jeans whenever we go out
-asked to borrow $500 when his company truck needed to be repaired
-has only 1 pair of $600.00 shoes
-does not have his own place
-tries to move into my place
-says he will take me to work and pick me up using my car NOT HIS
-gets a mercedes and then a few weeks later trades it in for a Honda accord

Now, he sounds like a poser. He only has one pair of $600 shoes!?! He should have took that $600, bought a pair of work boots, a pair of jeans and saved the rest for truck repairs.

Unless you just like his company, you need to exit stage left. Yesterday.

 

[Ayesha81]

Now, he sounds like a poser. He only has one pair of $600 shoes!?! He should have took that $600, bought a pair of work boots, a pair of jeans and saved the rest for truck repairs.

Unless you just like his company, you need to exit stage left. Yesterday.

I know now as I hang my head in shame.

 

[Silkycoils]

Perfect timing! I recently met a guy who "appeared" to have his ish together . . . supposedly graduated college, works in IT, blah-blah-blah . . .

So we're talking about cars and I tell him that I don't care that my car has a few cosmetic issues b/c it's paid in full and he's talking about his. I guess he started feeling comfortable b/c he says, "I don't even have tags." and I'm like,

. I asked him why didn't he have tags and he said, "Because I didn't feel like getting them."

Again . . . I told him I was with him w/the janky car, but I couldn't ride with him (no pun intended) on no illegal stuff . He goes on to say that a woman at the DMV who "likes" him hooks him up w/temporary tags. I'm thinking to myself: "You bum arsed ninja!". My spirit was so disturbed that I texted him the next day and told him I didn't think we were a good fit.

 

[MrsIQ]

I know now as I hang my head in shame.

At least you know the signs. You got some 40+ females talking bout "he just trying to get on his feet" after dealing with a dead beat for 10-15 yrs.

 

[MrsIQ]

Perfect timing! I recently met a guy who "appeared" to have his ish together . . . supposedly graduated college, works in IT, blah-blah-blah . . .

So we're talking about cars and I tell him that I don't care that my car has a few cosmetic issues b/c it's paid in full and he's talking about his. I guess he started feeling comfortable b/c he says, "I don't even have tags." and I'm like, . I asked him why didn't he have tags and he said, "Because I didn't feel like getting them." Again . . . I told him I was with him w/the janky car, but I couldn't ride with him (no pun intended) on no illegal stuff . He goes on to say that a woman at the DMV who "likes" him hooks him up w/temporary tags. I'm thinking to myself: "You bum arsed ninja!". My spirit was so disturbed that I texted him the next day and told him I didn't think we were a good fit.

Them gifs! The one with Whoopi is giving me life!!!

 

[knt1229]

I knew he was broke when he asked if I would make him dinner at my place instead of going out to eat on the first date.

 

[Nixx22jam]

I knew he was broke when:

He didnt have his own place but a shared room in a house at 36
All his clothes were in black bin bags

Took me on a date to the chinese buffet and piled his plate up so high we couldn't even have conversation.

Went to his house and he was very proud to tell me he made his own bed as in literally constructed the bed using MDF board.

Told me that since he took me out to a restaurant (Chinese buffet) that I must sleep with him or he would get a prostitute. (Ninja where she at??) I left so fast im sure my shadow was still standing there after I left.


Took me to his house and it was like I stepped into a third world country, old fridges in the yard no lights on the dirt track that led to his house etc

 

[Blyss_curls]

I knew he was broke (and ghetto) when:

First date, I saw the baby carrier in the back seat.

During first date, he asks,"...you hungry?"

Me: "Yes..."

He suddenly turns the car, damn near givin' me whip lash, as he burns rubber to turn into the parking lot where KFC is located.

Negro parks in front of the drive thru order box, kicks open his door w/his foot and proceeds to order through the open door.

I'm like,.... and look at him like, "...wait, what?!"

He see's the look of shock on my face and says, "oh, um....the window doesn't roll down on this side."

He orders for himself, and never asks me if I want anything.

Immediately starts to scarf from his KFC box. I guess he saw the look of "wtf" on my face and goes,"....oh girl, I know you said you hungry, this is for us to share...want some?"

Me:"Uh....no thanks."

The whole while, he's steady tossing chicken bones through the sunroof.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

lmao this thread is funny.

1. i knew he was broke when he told me he wanted to take me out to eat. aka cook dinner at his place. okay cool. so we go to the super market to get the ingredients for SPAGHETTI and thats it. he starts getting angry about the cost of vegetable oil and aluminum foil. smh. then it took him 2 1/2 hours to cook the spagetti b/c his oven was broken and couldn't eat all the way. and no he wasn't simmering his own sauce from scratch, the oven just wouldn't cook the meat. lol smdh btw this was spaghetti with those red link sausages (reminds me of the is spaggeti hood rat food lmao)

2. he picks me up to go out on a date. i ask him where are we going, he says its a surprise. so we're driving around se dc (not the waterfront, the straight hood area) and im getting my phone ready to call a cab b/c he wont reveal where we were going. finally he makes a call to order food. he asks me if i like beer, i say no. we pull up to the grocery store, im thinking the resteraunt is in the shopping center. he comes back with a 6 pack of beer. he tells me its for me. i tell him i dont drink. he's pissed b/c he wasted money on beer for me. now we're still driving around chitchatting and he's now drinking "my beer" erplexed then he says i hope you like crabs, we're going to this park to pick crabs and drink beer. btw this park was in the hood/projects. i tell him i dont eat whole crabs. he then proceeds to get really mad at me, for making him waste his money on crabs and beer. i tell him you should've asked me first, and i have horrible outdoor allergies and didnt take my medicine so i can't be out in the park in the middle of june at 100 degree weather picking crabs and drinking beer with you. i felt like i was it was a scene out of menace 2 society or boys in the hood or baby boy. he probably thought it was a great date. oh btw, his car made various screetching and knocking noices and was falling apart. so finally he just picks up some bbq from hogs on the hill, we still end up in the park, he turns up his radio and rolls down the windows so we can sit at the picnic tables listening to his car radio. worst date ever

cheap mf's lmao btw these are 2 different guys.im still angry at the whole park fiasco.

 

[fasika]

I knew he was broke (and ghetto) when:

First date, I saw the baby carrier in the back seat.

During first date, he asks,"...you hungry?"

Me: "Yes..."

He suddenly turns the car, damn near givin' me whip lash, as he burns rubber to turn into the parking lot where KFC is located.

Negro parks in front of the drive thru order box, kicks open his door w/his foot and proceeds to order through the open door.

I'm like,.... and look at him like, "...wait, what?!"

He see's the look of shock on my face and says, "oh, um....the window doesn't roll down on this side."

He orders for himself, and never asks me if I want anything.

Immediately starts to scarf from his KFC box. I guess he saw the look of "wtf" on my face and goes,"....oh girl, I know you said you hungry, this is for us to share...want some?"

Me:"Uh....no thanks."

The whole while, he's steady tossing chicken bones through the sunroof.

OMG this entire post!

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

I knew he was broke (and ghetto) when:

First date, I saw the baby carrier in the back seat.

During first date, he asks,"...you hungry?"

Me: "Yes..."

He suddenly turns the car, damn near givin' me whip lash, as he burns rubber to turn into the parking lot where KFC is located.

Negro parks in front of the drive thru order box, kicks open his door w/his foot and proceeds to order through the open door.

I'm like,.... and look at him like, "...wait, what?!"

He see's the look of shock on my face and says, "oh, um....the window doesn't roll down on this side."

He orders for himself, and never asks me if I want anything.

Immediately starts to scarf from his KFC box. I guess he saw the look of "wtf" on my face and goes,"....oh girl, I know you said you hungry, this is for us to share...want some?"

Me:"Uh....no thanks."

The whole while, he's steady tossing chicken bones through the sunroof.

You just made me choke on my spit.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

I wish I could deliver a story the way you guys do.

I knew he was broke when I visited his house and saw all of his utility bills were in his mama's name.

I thought that was strange enough but I borrowed his car one day when my car was getting new tires and an alignment and the check engine light came on on his car and all these lights started going haywire on the dashboard. I had to "coast" to an oil change place that thankfully was nearby. I called to tell him that something was wrong with his car after I pulled into the oil change place and he weighed the decision to let the oil change place fix it or have it towed to another mechanic. He decided to have it fixed there. I had to get his info out of the glove box and the license and registration was also in his mama's name...and so was the car insurance. They fixed the alternator in a couple of hours (I waited) and when I called him about paying the bill he said, let me call you right back, I have to get my credit card. His mama called me on the phone and gave me her credit card number. As if I hadn't already figured it out, she commented that her son needed to learn to stand on his own two feet and stop calling her for everything.

 

[JerriBlank]

I knew he was broke when:

He didnt have his own place but a shared room in a house at 36
All his clothes were in black bin bags

Took me on a date to the chinese buffet and piled his plate up so high we couldn't even have conversation.

Went to his house and he was very proud to tell me he made his own bed as in literally constructed the bed using MDF board.

Told me that since he took me out to a restaurant (Chinese buffet) that I must sleep with him or he would get a prostitute. (Ninja where she at??) I left so fast im sure my shadow was still standing there after I left.


Took me to his house and it was like I stepped into a third world country, old fridges in the yard no lights on the dirt track that led to his house etc

My friend is asking if I have to pee cause I'm laughing and shaking so hard! Omg!thanks for the updates yall! Rotfl!

 

[sylver2]

I knew he was broke (and ghetto) when:

First date, I saw the baby carrier in the back seat.

During first date, he asks,"...you hungry?"

Me: "Yes..."

He suddenly turns the car, damn near givin' me whip lash, as he burns rubber to turn into the parking lot where KFC is located.

Negro parks in front of the drive thru order box, kicks open his door w/his foot and proceeds to order through the open door.

I'm like,.... and look at him like, "...wait, what?!"

He see's the look of shock on my face and says, "oh, um....the window doesn't roll down on this side."

He orders for himself, and never asks me if I want anything.

Immediately starts to scarf from his KFC box. I guess he saw the look of "wtf" on my face and goes,"....oh girl, I know you said you hungry, this is for us to share...want some?"

Me:"Uh....no thanks."

The whole while, he's steady tossing chicken bones through the sunroof.

Perfect timing! I recently met a guy who "appeared" to have his ish together . . . supposedly graduated college, works in IT, blah-blah-blah . . .

So we're talking about cars and I tell him that I don't care that my car has a few cosmetic issues b/c it's paid in full and he's talking about his. I guess he started feeling comfortable b/c he says, "I don't even have tags." and I'm like,

. I asked him why didn't he have tags and he said, "Because I didn't feel like getting them."

Again . . . I told him I was with him w/the janky car, but I couldn't ride with him (no pun intended) on no illegal stuff . He goes on to say that a woman at the DMV who "likes" him hooks him up w/temporary tags. I'm thinking to myself: "You bum arsed ninja!". My spirit was so disturbed that I texted him the next day and told him I didn't think we were a good fit.

yoooooooooooo i was omg laaaawd the stff we go thru

 

[Blyss_curls]

You just made me choke on my spit.

Sorry girl...guess it's good I didn't continue w/the date from hell, @letskeepntouch

So the chicken bones are flying out the top of the car.
I'm scrunched down in the passenger seat, prayin' no one I know see's me w/this fool.

I finally asked him why he couldn't just dispose of the chicken bones in the KFC bag or box.

Him:"....oh um, didn't you see that dog? Girl--I'm just tryin' to hook up that dog--he looked hella hungry."

The only problem w/this reasoning....I saw no dog, and old boy had sucked those bones dry....I mean there was not a bit of meat on 'em.

So the imaginary dog was still gonna' be hella' hungry, apparently.

When we get to the movie theater (it was the very last movie where he could get the early bird discount..)...yeah, cue me rolling my eyes here....

We had some time before the movie started. So, I start to get out of the car, thinking we'll walk around look in shop windows, talk, maybe go to the arcade.

This broke-a** ninja goes,"....girl, where you goin'?" ...reaches across me and pulls my door shut.

Ninja straight up had me sittin' in his raggedy **, bucket seats, with no a/c (or heat)...in a hot a** parking lot. To save some scratch, he wants to just sit and talk IN HIS mutha f***'in CAR.

Yall, it was hella' hot sittin' in his piece of shyte car, in the parking gargage.

While tellin' me all about himself, broke ninja noticed me wheezing (yeah--I'm asthmatic)...and the beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Mid-speech, w/out skippin' a beat, broke ninja goes,"...oh, you hot" and proceeds to kick open the door w/the broken window, yet again--letting in all the hot a** exhaust fumes of the parking structure....and returns to tellin' me about himself.

 

[FrazzledFraggle]

Sorry girl...guess it's good I didn't continue w/the date from hell, @letskeepntouch

So the chicken bones are flying out the top of the car.
I'm scrunched down in the passenger seat, prayin' no one I know see's me w/this fool.

I finally asked him why he couldn't just dispose of the chicken bones in the KFC bag or box.

Him:"....oh um, didn't you see that dog? Girl--I'm just tryin' to hook up that dog--he looked hella hungry."

The only problem w/this reasoning....I saw no dog, and old boy had sucked those bones dry....I mean there was not a bit of meat on 'em.

So the imaginary dog was still gonna' be hella' hungry, apparently.

When we get to the movie theater (it was the very last movie where he could get the early bird discount..)...yeah, cue me rolling my eyes here....

We had some time before the movie started. So, I start to get out of the car, thinking we'll walk around look in shop windows, talk, maybe go to the arcade.

This broke-a** ninja goes,"....girl, where you goin'?" ...reaches across me and pulls my door shut.

Ninja straight up had me sittin' in his raggedy **, bucket seats, with no a/c (or heat)...in a hot a** parking lot. To save some scratch, he wants to just sit and talk IN HIS mutha f***'in CAR.

Yall, it was hella' hot sittin' in his piece of shyte car, in the parking gargage.

While tellin' me all about himself, broke ninja noticed me wheezing (yeah--I'm asthmatic)...and the beads of sweat forming on my forehead.

Mid-speech, w/out skippin' a beat, broke ninja goes,"...oh, you hot" and proceeds to kick open the door w/the broken window, yet again--letting in all the hot a** exhaust fumes of the parking structure....and returns to tellin' me about himself.

I have no words. That is the worst date ever. I have nothing to top that. LOL

 

[Blyss_curls]

I wish I could deliver a story the way you guys do.

I knew he was broke when I visited his house and saw all of his utility bills were in his mama's name.

I thought that was strange enough but I borrowed his car one day when my car was getting new tires and an alignment and the check engine light came on on his car and all these lights started going haywire on the dashboard. I had to "coast" to an oil change place that thankfully was nearby. I called to tell him that something was wrong with his car after I pulled into the oil change place and he weighed the decision to let the oil change place fix it or have it towed to another mechanic. He decided to have it fixed there. I had to get his info out of the glove box and the license and registration was also in his mama's name...and so was the car insurance. They fixed the alternator in a couple of hours (I waited) and when I called him about paying the bill he said, let me call you right back, I have to get my credit card. His mama called me on the phone and gave me her credit card number. As if I hadn't already figured it out, she commented that her son needed to learn to stand on his own two feet and stop calling her for everything.

omg...I can't breathe....

 

[Blyss_curls]

I have no words. That is the worst date ever. I have nothing to top that. LOL

Why was he mad, that I didn't return his phone calls, never paged him and was never free to go out again?

Girl, he started stalkin' me on my job (I was a server at the time)....he'd come in w/his friends, and pout w/stank face, because I couldn't be bothered to ignore my station and rush over to him....and because I wouldn't "make plans to see his sorry a** again--to ingest more parking garage fumes."

Puh-lease, broke ninja....take a damn hint. Do I really need to hurt your feelings and tell you just how tacky, ghetto and broke I think you are? Damn, man.

 

[0live0il]

...................

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

I knew he was broke when we we visited his "condo" in NJ (We were Supposed to be going to his family's home for a BBQ), and it turned out to be a Hotel. On the way upstairs to his "spacious apartment" we passed a sign that said "Residents, please do not leave your containers of urine on the ground. Please instead, pour your urine down the drain, and dispose of the container." in front of the communal bathrooms on each floor. When we got to his front door he ran inside to clean up a bit, and he took 30 mins to do it, so I thought it must be a large apartment (because the whole time I'm talking to myself in my head, trying to tell myself that this Cannot be life, and I must be missing something). WRONG!! It was a room about the size of my bathroom, that held a bed, a dressing table, and a tv from the 70's. After he tossed his room looking for his missing weed, I placed a distress text to my sister who then called and made it sound like I had to run to a dying parents bedside. I hustled my buns outta there so f'ing fast, you would have through the room caught on fire...all while dude is trying to convince me that we should have a quickie...

I ran back to NYC with the Quickness!