Everything was cool until he____(fill in the blank)

[suburbanbushbabe]

Everything was good until....

he told me he has his own colonic machine and gives himself a colonic 2-3x a week.
He proceeded to explain how he would have to lay on the floor, on some towels, with his legs up in the air--a grownAss black man-- and stick the tube up his booty...he told me it was, and I quote, 'a pretty messy process'.

he was a verrrryy pretty man and it is atlanta so it seems a bit suspect...ifound it a little disturbing he was so comfortable with sticking things up and sucking things out of his boootay 3 TIMES A WEEK!!! lol. Needless to say, inever answered any of his calls again.

Wonder who he gets to stick him up there the other days of the week?

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

Wonder who he gets to stick him up there the other days of the week?

 

[PracticallyMe]

Everything was cool until he---

- Tried to ride on the side of me cursing me out as I walked to the bus stop but had to ride with the door open as he cursed me because his window didn't roll down.
- Told me that he didn't work because he was focused on his music career.
- Pulled down his pants and his **** was so little that I then felt like a lesbian.

@bolded - - Hot mess!!

 

[Ivonnovi]

Until we were about to Color and "Pee-Wee" tried gear up in a "Magnum" for this. ... .... I had to excuse myself from this farce. ......Naw Son!

(I don't know who he was trying to fool, Me or Himslef?)

Needless to say, I was pissed 'cause I was soooo ready! But not willing to risk "slippage" or worse; I dunno who else might have fallen for that "costume" but I aint the one.

..... As if he could put the thing on and it would make his crayon "look big". Lawd, how do you tell a guy that that's "just not his size"?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Until we were about to Color and "Pee-Wee" tried gear up in a "Magnum" for this. ... .... I had to excuse myself from this farce. ......Naw Son!

(I don't know who he was trying to fool, Me or Himslef?)

Needless to say, I was pissed 'cause I was soooo ready! But not willing to risk "slippage" or worse; I dunno who else might have fallen for that "costume" but I aint the one.

..... As if he could put the thing on and it would make his crayon "look big". Lawd, how do you tell a guy that that's "just not his size"?

@ bolded but I @ red

 

[mscocopuff]

Everything was good until she told me that she often made up gossip about me to get closer to her sister. WTF?

 

[mscocopuff]

LOL. This is too funny. LOL

 

[mscocopuff]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivonnovi
Until we were about to Color and "Pee-Wee" tried gear up in a "Magnum" for this. ... .... I had to excuse myself from this farce. ......Naw Son!

(I don't know who he was trying to fool, Me or Himslef?)

Needless to say, I was pissed 'cause I was soooo ready! But not willing to risk "slippage" or worse; I dunno who else might have fallen for that "costume" but I aint the one.

..... As if he could put the thing on and it would make his crayon "look big". Lawd, how do you tell a guy that that's "just not his size"?

LOL. This is too funny. LOL

 

[Ivonnovi]

Everything was good until she told me that she often made up gossip about me to get closer to her sister. WTF?

I'm confused. Was she trying to improve the a relationship with her sister, or ..."develop" a relationship with her own sister?

 

[Ganjababy]

Different guys-

He asked me if I was a citizen...............


Told me that he liked it shaved clean like a lil virgin girl..................


I found out he liked to wear my dress I had forgotten at his home as it made him feel closer to me. Strange, yeah but dude then decides to wear said dress to the corner shop, then I knew dude was a loony.

His sister advised me to go buy some skin bleaching cream (it would make my skin 'nicer'..................

He asked me if I ever had sex with a family member..............

Asked for money to send to his baby mamma.............

Told me he was married...................

Told me he did not like overly educated women...................

Told me a woman should know her place................

Told me I should not drink too much water as it would make me fat.................

Realised that he was only interested in me because his friend was interested..............

 

[chimere05]

OMG! I have spent the last few hours reading this entire thread and I just have to say that this is the best one ever! Lol. I have never laughed so hard on this forum! Priceless!

 

[Nixx22jam]

Everything was cool until

Guy #1
- He rang and I told him my friend was visiting and he asked could he come over. This was the second day of him knowing me.

-He asked if I would ever get a clit piercing 1st "date"

-He kept trying to find reasons to come to my house.

- I found out he was extremely possesive

Guy#2
- he said if he couldnt sleep with me that night he would go call a prostitute. I made his *** put me in a cab. He called me the next day to tell me he got one.
- He took me to some cheap buffet and PILED his plate up I couldnt even see his face. The staff knew him by name.
- He refused to tell me his age but proceeded to show me a pic of his kids. I knew his @$$ was old.

guy#3

- we were talking on the phone and he screamed loud as hell and jumped up and down because he saw a SPIDER

- let me put eyeliner and lip gloss on him

- whipped out his tinky winky in the cinema

- tried to play me till I found out from some other girl what he was up to. Lmao

guy#4

- tried to do the do and FLOPPED after a minute- over excitement.

-attempted to put his finger in my no-no hole

- "drunk" txted me trying to tell me what he wanted to do with me after our one experience

-first experience was so bad i had to do it again just to check

- asked me what I was up to "told him I just got home from work" He turned up at my door 2 hours later. He lived 2 hours away.

 

[BGT]

^^^

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

Lol This is hilarious

 

[Ivonnovi]

THis almost made me ruin my computer!!!! .....(I almost sprayed it with the tea i was drinking)

Everything was cool until



-first experience was so bad i had to do it again just to check
.

 

[JFemme]

Everything was cool until

Guy #1
- He rang and I told him my friend was visiting and he asked could he come over. This was the second day of him knowing me.

-He asked if I would ever get a clit piercing 1st "date"

-He kept trying to find reasons to come to my house.

- I found out he was extremely possesive

Guy#2
- he said if he couldnt sleep with me that night he would go call a prostitute. I made his *** put me in a cab. He called me the next day to tell me he got one.
- He took me to some cheap buffet and PILED his plate up I couldnt even see his face. The staff knew him by name.
- He refused to tell me his age but proceeded to show me a pic of his kids. I knew his @$$ was old.

guy#3

- we were talking on the phone and he screamed loud as hell and jumped up and down because he saw a SPIDER

- let me put eyeliner and lip gloss on him

- whipped out his tinky winky in the cinema

- tried to play me till I found out from some other girl what he was up to. Lmao

guy#4

- tried to do the do and FLOPPED after a minute- over excitement.

-attempted to put his finger in my no-no hole

- "drunk" txted me trying to tell me what he wanted to do with me after our one experience

-first experience was so bad i had to do it again just to check

- asked me what I was up to "told him I just got home from work" He turned up at my door 2 hours later. He lived 2 hours away.

where do I begin...........................

 

[PositivelyBeautiful]

First guy

Turned up on our second date having gained about fifty pounds in the space of a month and with terrible acne. Hadn't shaved in what looked like weeks and had Don King hair. And he was wearing a stained t-shirt and sweats and his belly was hanging out over his pants. I was like 'dude, what happened to you!?'. Then he told me how he wanted to marry someone who wanted to have an 'open marriage', but where only he could sleep around and that his life coach said that it was just part of his plan to 'aim high'.We were on the tube to our date and I just got off at the next stop, didn't say I was getting off and didn't say bye, just walked.

Second guy
Invited me to his house, which stunk to high hell. Told me it smelled because he didn't go out much 'because he likes to stay in and play video games'. He was 29. Then asked if we could go on a date to the store and I could buy him food. When I said I wouldn't he said that I was mean because I was the descendent of a slave (he was Nigerian) and that the slaves that were taken from Africa were all criminals. Once again I walked.

Third guy
Seemed really nice until he asked me to check out his blog. The blog was pages and pages of angry, suicidal ranting with talks about 'them' and how he was God's little mistake and how he was going to show 'them' and he had something big planned for them on July 5th. I stopped talking to him on July 4th.

Fourth guy
We go to the mall on our first date and he insists on going into women's shops and trying out handbags and women's clothes. We go into one shop and he spends $200 on thigh length black crystal encrusted boots for his 'sister'.

After these I took a break from dating for a loooong time.

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

All I can say is Wow lol

First guy

Turned up on our second date having gained about fifty pounds in the space of a month and with terrible acne. Hadn't shaved in what looked like weeks and had Don King hair. And he was wearing a stained t-shirt and sweats and his belly was hanging out over his pants. I was like 'dude, what happened to you!?'. Then he told me how he wanted to marry someone who wanted to have an 'open marriage', but where only he could sleep around and that his life coach said that it was just part of his plan to 'aim high'.We were on the tube to our date and I just got off at the next stop, didn't say I was getting off and didn't say bye, just walked.

Second guy
Invited me to his house, which stunk to high hell. Told me it smelled because he didn't go out much 'because he likes to stay in and play video games'. He was 29. Then asked if we could go on a date to the store and I could buy him food. When I said I wouldn't he said that I was mean because I was the descendent of a slave (he was Nigerian) and that the slaves that were taken from Africa were all criminals. Once again I walked.

Third guy
Seemed really nice until he asked me to check out his blog. The blog was pages and pages of angry, suicidal ranting with talks about 'them' and how he was God's little mistake and how he was going to show 'them' and he had something big planned for them on July 5th. I stopped talking to him on July 4th.

Fourth guy
We go to the mall on our first date and he insists on going into women's shops and trying out handbags and women's clothes. We go into one shop and he spends $200 on thigh length black crystal encrusted boots for his 'sister'.

After these I took a break from dating for a loooong time.

 

[CaramelLites]

Everything was cool until he

He(New Yorker)told me If we married and he really needed to close a deal he would offer me as part of the deal. When I objected *wth* he told me that as his wife I would do as I was told. Mind you, we hadn't even had our first date yet. We were just talking on the phone.

(Different Guy) He(Jamaican) tells me that he normally only dates yt women because black women are too stuck on *peen* size and tell all your business.
Until he told me he didn't like me hanging with a childhood friend. Asked me where I was, I told him a gas station with my friend. He Insisted I tell him the name and location. Then told me he was on his way to get me.
After I never answered any of his calls. He left roses on my steps and kept calling. A week later he stamped bloody chicken feet prints on my steps and smeared blood on the bottom of the door.

(Different Guy) I found out he(Florida business owner) was poking holes in condoms in an attempt to get me pregnant.
When he thought I was breaking up with him because I wanted to date someone else he told me he did time for murdering an ex's boyfriend.
When I refused to answer his calls, he started sleeping in his car across the St from my house.** needless to say I moved** I was 19 he was 25 :-(

(Different Guy) He(Geechy) told me I would never leave him, because his grandma said so. He later confessed his grandmother is a voodoo priestess.
I found burnt pennies behind the toilet.
I left him and moved in with a friend until my new place was ready. He showed up at my friends with a firearm trying to force them to release me, so we could go home.


Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Licked my booty and then asked me to return the favor.

 

[JFemme]

Licked my booty and then asked me to return the favor.

Oh, my....

 

[Daeuiel]

PositivelyBeautiful & @CaramelLites, LAWD!!! I am so happy you got away from these ************* & lived to tell the tale! erplexed x1000!!!

 

[CaramelLites]

Daeuiel
Typing all that out made me realize just how incredibly lucky I am. I am so thankful nothing bad came out of those situations.

Sent from my PC36100 using PC36100

 

[RockRideTrue]

BUMP :reddancer:

 

[sheanu]

Bumping :: can't believe I just read all of that! Lol::

Sent from my LS670 using LS670

 

[RarityFluttershy]

Second guy
Then asked if we could go on a date to the store and I could buy him food. When I said I wouldn't he said that I was mean because I was the descendent of a slave (he was Nigerian) and that the slaves that were taken from Africa were all criminals. Once again I walked.

He Needs His A*s Kicked For This One.

 

[sheanu]

---------------

 

[Azure18]

He told me he recently filed for bankruptcy and everything including his car was in his Mama's name. While he continues to pay all his utility bills with credit cards.

He told me that the picture of black Jesus hanging up was just a gift from his Mom, he's actually an atheist.

Left sh*t in the toilet one day un flushed.

Till this day i still cringe when I hear his name.

 

[shasha8685]

...until he suggested that we go on a date to the mall (last I checked, I was 12 in 1997)

...until he sent unsolicited pics of his crayon in the middle of the day talmbout "Happy Monday!"

...until he started Twitter-stalking me and thinking that everything I tweeted was about him.



Oh...did I mention that this dude is in his 30s?

 

[adf23]

In an argument over the phone, told me that white girls know how to take care of their men

(this was yrs ago and I have since married someone else)