Do you make your SO/DH's plate?

Do you make the plate for your SO/DH?

  • Yes

    Votes: 91 82.7%

  • No

    Votes: 10 9.1%

  • Other, I will explain below

    Votes: 9 8.2%
  • Total voters
    110
  • Poll closed .
Do you make your SO/DH's plate?


If I had a HUSBAND I would. No doubt. My mom fixed my dad's plate, so I would do the same for my husband whenever I'm married.

But just a boyfriend...SO...whatever you wanna call it--nope.
He's not getting that kind of 'wifey duty' from me, if I'm not his wifey.
 
ClassyND said:
*thinking* I hope I can articulate this well.

Because it's tradition and an un-said/understood rule for me. I was just raised that way. With my family, I think it dates back to the days where men worked the hardest, had a very long day, were the bread winners who made having food possible; therefore the women in my family would serve them first. All the other food went to the wife and children.

So, with me, I'm still showing that respect since DH is that type of man in my life, he's the head of the house, he's the bread winner, and in my mind he has to have a certain type of treatment for who he is/what he does. This idea transcends to other things around the house as well.
Click to expand...

I understand. Do you work?
 
ClassyND said:
*thinking* I hope I can articulate this well.

Because it's tradition and an un-said/understood rule for me. I was just raised that way. With my family, I think it dates back to the days where men worked the hardest, had a very long day, were the bread winners who made having food possible; therefore the women in my family would serve them first. All the other food went to the wife and children.

So, with me, I'm still showing that respect since DH is that type of man in my life, he's the head of the house, he's the bread winner, and in my mind he has to have a certain type of treatment for who he is/what he does. This idea transcends to other things around the house as well.
Click to expand...

I like this way of thinking. It gives he something to live up to. (some men anyway)
 
apples said:
Do you make your SO/DH's plate?


If I had a HUSBAND I would. No doubt. My mom fixed my dad's plate, so I would do the same for my husband whenever I'm married.

But just a boyfriend...SO...whatever you wanna call it--nope.
He's not getting that kind of 'wifey duty' from me, if I'm not his wifey.
Click to expand...

this is also VERY interesting and something I think about a lot.
 
apples said:
Do you make your SO/DH's plate?


If I had a HUSBAND I would. No doubt. My mom fixed my dad's plate, so I would do the same for my husband whenever I'm married.

But just a boyfriend...SO...whatever you wanna call it--nope.
He's not getting that kind of 'wifey duty' from me, if I'm not his wifey.
Click to expand...
MMhmm I definitely agree with this.
 
I voted no. I'm not married but my SO fixes my plate. At his place or mine, at BBQs, baby showers, wherever. :look: I let him do it because he seems to like it.

But I do make his on occasion (once a month or two?) and he smiles all wide-eyed and happy. I don't mind. But I don't want him getting too comfortable with that. :yawn:






Am I wrong????
 
cupcake said:
I voted no. I'm not married but my SO fixes my plate. At his place or mine, at BBQs, baby showers, wherever. :look: I let him do it because he seems to like it.

But I do make his on occasion (once a month or two?) and he smiles all wide-eyed and happy. I don't mind. But I don't want him getting too comfortable with that. :yawn:






Am I wrong????
Click to expand...


I don't see anything wrong with it. Y'all are not married and don't live together.
 
ClassyND said:
That's silly! What's the "correct" way? If it works for the women who don't do it, then how is it wrong? Oh well. Seems like a competition of trying to be better than others and make people feel bad.
Click to expand...
That is one thing I like about this board being majority female. Less "ms. me too"ing and stunting for the men on the board.
 
cupcake said:
I voted no. I'm not married but my SO fixes my plate. At his place or mine, at BBQs, baby showers, wherever. :look: I let him do it because he seems to like it.

But I do make his on occasion (once a month or two?) and he smiles all wide-eyed and happy. I don't mind. But I don't want him getting too comfortable with that. :yawn:






Am I wrong????
Click to expand...

no no please don't get intimidated by other people's views/responses. YOU know best who your SO is, his values, what he takes for granted, and the general workings of your relationship. Trust in that. What works for some....
 
OnAHairQuest said:
That is one thing I like about this board being majority female. Less "ms. me too"ing and stunting for the men on the board.
Click to expand...


Huh, I've only noticed two dudes here and that's Nikos and the other person who I never really see write anything. :whois:


I really have to start being more attentive but I don't care about em' too much. Wow:ohwell: I even missed the thread that everyone is referring to.
 
Thank goodness. I was sitting here looking at the poll like....:blush:
RavenIvygurl said:
no no please don't get intimidated by other people's views/responses. YOU know best who your SO is, his values, what he takes for granted, and the general workings of your relationship. Trust in that. What works for some....
Click to expand...
 
janiebaby said:
Huh, I've only noticed two dudes here and that's Nikos and the other person who I never really see write anything. :whois:


I really have to start being more attentive but I don't care about em' too much. Wow:ohwell: I even missed the thread that everyone is referring to.
Click to expand...
huh?

Im saying I like that this board is majority women. Having mixed gender convos tends to lead some women in a direction to say things to gain male attention over other women, which is what I suspect happen on another forum where the women were downing other women who didnt plate fix.
 
OnAHairQuest said:
huh?

Im saying I like that this board is majority women. Having mixed gender convos tends to lead some women in a direction to say things to gain male attention over other women, which is what I suspect happen on another forum where the women were downing other women who didnt plate fix.
Click to expand...


Whenever I hear that there are guys on here period I have the question mark face I didn't know that it was in another forum I thought since so many people here was referring to it that it happened here. Ooopsie:look:

I'll go sit down now....
 
OnAHairQuest said:
Im saying I like that this board is majority women. Having mixed gender convos tends to lead some women in a direction to say things to gain male attention over other women, which is what I suspect happen on another forum where the women were downing other women who didnt plate fix.
Click to expand...
Wow. Stunting on a message board for people you will most likely never meet. How sad is that?

Female competition runs really deep for some folks.
 
I make my SO's plate all the time for him.Sometimes it makes me feel like I'm playing house because we aren't married but it nice to know that women out there do make there mans plate and its really not that big a deal.:grin:
 
ClassyND said:
*thinking* I hope I can articulate this well.

Because it's tradition and an un-said/understood rule for me. I was just raised that way. With my family, I think it dates back to the days where men worked the hardest, had a very long day, were the bread winners who made having food possible; therefore the women in my family would serve them first. All the other food went to the wife and children.

So, with me, I'm still showing that respect since DH is that type of man in my life, he's the head of the house, he's the bread winner, and in my mind he has to have a certain type of treatment for who he is/what he does. This idea transcends to other things around the house as well.
Click to expand...


ITA with all of this.
 
Yes I do. I never thought of it as my duty it's just how I was taught and it seems natural. I haven't recieved any negative feedback from it.
 
Hijack: for the traditionalists, does this value transcend to other aspects of your home life.
For example, how many of you who fix the plate are SAHMs, or work less than the DH/SO?
Do you only have physical relations in the missionary position? (Not stereotyping or trying to demean but I really want to know,lol)
Does he have final say in all household decisions?
Are you knowledgeable about your financial portfolio/assigned as a delegate on all financial matters?
 
RavenIvygurl said:
Hijack: for the traditionalists, does this value transcend to other aspects of your home life.
For example, how many of you who fix the plate are SAHMs, or work less than the DH/SO?
Do you only have physical relations in the missionary position? (Not stereotyping or trying to demean but I really want to know,lol)
Does he have final say in all household decisions?
Are you knowledgeable about your financial portfolio/assigned as a delegate on all financial matters?
Click to expand...


Do you pick and choose which rules in tradition you follow and which one you don't?

I'm not asking you, I'm asking the women who follow traditions. sorry about that :lachen:
 
Last edited:
shynessqueen said:
My family are from the south and when I go down there I laugh at them.

I have seen it time and time again. I still think it's funny to see a man sit down at the table and wait for his woman to make his plate. :lachen:
Click to expand...

Its hard to explain b/c like I said you just have to be raised that way. I'm a real southern girl and dh is a real southern boy, its expected I guess.

Even with my inlaws who all live dead in the country, all the men are sitting down chatting while we are up cooking, laughing talking and yes 'waiting' on their plates. I learned early how to balance two plates. I can remember pulling up a chair to the freezer 'bring my daddy a beer':yep:

There are many other things I do for dh that I feel fit the 'feminine' role of a wife. I bake b/c dh likes it. But like I said the little things I do add up to the big things he does for me. What I want, I get. Dh never tells me no to things and I rarely do as well.

He plays his masculine role as well, its just unspoken. So I bake, fix his plate....but you know what I don't even touch my car except to drive it, he takes my truck and fills it up every few days, I don't even know how much gas costs. I have never had to get an estimate for ANYthing, if something is broken, he finds out how to fix it; the trash, the yard, the pool, whatever....I just go outside and enjoy the ambiance. He also has never cooked a meal, outside of boiling water:ohwell:but I really don't expect him to.

I take care of the inside of the house and he takes care of the maintenance of it. I honestly do think there are some things that 'men' just do and 'women' do.
 
shynessqueen said:
y'all both work. Does he make your plate?
Click to expand...


I work, he works. He boils water, I cook. Nope, he's never fixed my plate. But I also have never asked him:rolleyes:

When I asked him for a housekeeper, he said yes. I asked him for a babysiter to come in my home fulltime, he said yes.

Fixing a plate is a minor moment out of my day,especially one that I enjoy.
 
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