Your SO and his female neighbor have a food exchange.

[Nola Darling]

No. Giving food is like giving flowers and etc. It has too much meaning behind it.

However, I think it would be nice if both families invited each other over for dinner. It's good neighborly bonding that doesn't seem to exist these days.

 

[blasianbeauty]

So your SO has a female neighbor, lets call her X. They've known each other for years. They dont hang out but they say hello, wassup, etc.. They joke around have conversation.

Anyway, your SO keeps asking X about her cooking, like can she cook well, when she gonna give him a plate, etc? So X decides to give him a plate of food. Next week your SO decides to give X a plate of food from what he made that week.

So now your SO is like we should make this a weekly thing and X is like um

What do you think? Would you be suspiscious? Or would you be strongly against this?

Just curious - how do you know that X's reaction is "um "?? Is she uncomfortable with this? Am I reading the wrong in this context? I would just be honest and tell him how I felt. I wouldn't get an attitude or drag it on, but I'll tell you right now that the way he reacts would be very, VERY telling of his intentions and how he feels about the whole thing. I know this situation makes you feel uncomfortable, sorry.

 

[locabouthair]

Just curious - how do you know that X's reaction is "um "?? Is she uncomfortable with this? Am I reading the wrong in this context? I would just be honest and tell him how I felt. I wouldn't get an attitude or drag it on, but I'll tell you right now that the way he reacts would be very, VERY telling of his intentions and how he feels about the whole thing. I know this situation makes you feel uncomfortable, sorry.

meant no I dont wanna do this.
I dont have an SO, this was a scenario of someone I know.
yes the fact that the guy is pushing for it to happen is suspicious.

 

[blasianbeauty]

meant no I dont wanna do this.
I dont have an SO, this was a scenario of someone I know.
yes the fact that the guy is pushing for it to happen is suspicious.

Oh I see. Hopefully your friend gets to the bottom of this, because this situation isn't good at all. I get the impression that he's trying to build something more with her and is using the food exchange as a cover. Men. Good luck to your friend.

 

[JustKiya]

Urm, I wouldn't care..... if my and my SO's relationship is so weak that a plate of food from a neighbor is going to make him leave me - shoot, get to walking, homeboy, save me the years & the heartache.

I don't understand the drive to fight to keep a man that you suspect is weak enough to sniff after any tail that walks by - why waste the time?

Sounds like a nice, neighborly thing to do, to me, esp. since they have known each other for so long.

 

[Arcadian]

I guess that means all my female neighbors hate me then I don't mind cooking and giving it to neighbors. In particular baked goods because SO would make himself sick eating them all (he dosn't know how to quit)

The guy next door to us is married but he does all the cooking. we share recipes and sure he's sent food over as I've sent food over there.

I have sent some of my girlfriends home with food specifically for their honey's. And yes I do it specifically because I know my girlfriends aren't chefs in the kitchen (and they even have the recipes I use but "they're too hard"

IMO its all about how its handled. They know I like to cook as do the people in our neighborhood so there's no issues.

I know if I make banana nut bread, cookies or caramel cake I better be making a whole lot of extras I've had people knock on the door saying they were passing by the house and smelled the goodness Our neighborhood is close knit though so its ok with us.

I do not see cooking as being all that special really. I cook for SO but not heck I also cook for myself. I gotta eat too! If my neighbor and I had been talking about a particular dish and I'm making that dish, sure, I take some over (I make SO do it usually)

OP if you have issues with it talk to your SO about it. If it upsets you, tell him that too. Are you also friendly with her? if not, maybe its time to go over and introduce yourself.


-A

 

[Theo]

He might just be hungry. I cook and give food to my male friends all the time. Some of whom might have SO's that either can't cook, or just don't cook as well as I do.

I do understand the whole nip it in the bud argument. But I wouldn't get mad at the neighbor, being that the man was the person who initiated everything. In situations like these, I think the best thing to do is make friends with the neighbor, so you can keep an eye on things. What's the saying??? "Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer"???

 

[SweetNic_JA]

OP, it sounds like your SO is the aggressor, not X. I suggest you voice your concerns to him instead of worrying if X is trying to snatch your man. He's the one pushing up him self for some weekly food exchanges.

 

[treybaby2005]

Right! He does sound quite hard up...like he doesn't eat regularly.

Exactly.I would be taking it personal.I wish my man would.Then the neighbor would be sitting back like "his girl can't even cook for her man.Why he with her"OH HELL NO! G.T.F.O.O.H.W.T.B.S.

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Not cool...If he's that hard up, why not ask his girlfriend or a family member?? Smells fishy to me

 

[scorpio70]

Maybe I read the OP wrong, but it looks like your SO was asking the neighbor about her cooking skills. Do I have that backwards? If he was asking her, then homeboy is flirting with danger. It's not on her at all. It looks like dude is the one that is out of line.

Sorry if someone already posted this, I couldn't read through all of the responses.

 

[Cincysweetie]

Wow, this is making me re-think some of my behavior. I have a married male co-worker that absolutely LOVES food. I haven't seen anything like it! He eats everything! I pack my lunch a lot, and because we work in a small office where everyone sees what you have, I have on several occassions offered him some of the food that I have prepared. Sometimes I even offer him food that I have bought, especially if I have a large amount. I never really thought of it as a problem until I read this post. I most def. do not have any "intentions" towards him, I think more than anything it's about me not wanting to tear up some food in front of people without offering them some (and he is usually the only one up in my plate though I have shared with others), so sometimes I even pack extra to share. Anywho, I would hate for him or his wife to think I was trying to get to him through his stomach. Should I stop sharing my food? I totally respect their marriage so I don't want to cause any drama!

 

[Makenzie]

Wow, this is making me re-think some of my behavior. I have a married male co-worker that absolutely LOVES food. I haven't seen anything like it! He eats everything! I pack my lunch a lot, and because we work in a small office where everyone sees what you have, I have on several occassions offered him some of the food that I have prepared. Sometimes I even offer him food that I have bought, especially if I have a large amount. I never really thought of it as a problem until I read this post. I most def. do not have any "intentions" towards him, I think more than anything it's about me not wanting to tear up some food in front of people without offering them some (and he is usually the only one up in my plate though I have shared with others), so sometimes I even pack extra to share. Anywho, I would hate for him or his wife to think I was trying to get to him through his stomach. Should I stop sharing my food? I totally respect their marriage so I don't want to cause any drama!

I think if you offer others as well you should be fine. Then no one can say you are singling him out.

Back to OP: There was a similar situation on King of Queens where Spence's girlfriend was in culinary school, Doug was the taste tester and Carrie wasn't having any of it.

Me personally, I wouldn't stand for it. Its either for the family or no one. And to be honest, even if it were for the family, I wouldn't want it to happen to often. I can take care of my own.

 

[NYAmicas]

Wow, this is making me re-think some of my behavior. I have a married male co-worker that absolutely LOVES food. I haven't seen anything like it! He eats everything! I pack my lunch a lot, and because we work in a small office where everyone sees what you have, I have on several occassions offered him some of the food that I have prepared. Sometimes I even offer him food that I have bought, especially if I have a large amount. I never really thought of it as a problem until I read this post. I most def. do not have any "intentions" towards him, I think more than anything it's about me not wanting to tear up some food in front of people without offering them some (and he is usually the only one up in my plate though I have shared with others), so sometimes I even pack extra to share. Anywho, I would hate for him or his wife to think I was trying to get to him through his stomach. Should I stop sharing my food? I totally respect their marriage so I don't want to cause any drama!

See, it's all about questionable intentions. Your situation sounds fine, you're just feeding a hungry soul. Now dude from OP sounds like he's trying to get fed in other places, it came off wrong to some.

 

[smwrigh3]

I wouldn't care. Most people in my family do that all the time. I wouldn't be suspicious, but if I had a problem with it SO would know.

... Just no spaghetti.

I know where u got that from!!!! LOL

 

[SUPER SWEET]

You better get in the Cooking forum and COOK! That back and forth thing seems it would be more suited for SINGLES.

 

[naturalmanenyc]

I'd find it very odd if a neighbor wanted to cook for my husband & even more so if he wanted to cook for her weekly as well (given that he doesn't really cook).

DH has brought home food from friend's (usually mother's that force food on him) and he promptly tosses it in the trash. He takes it so as not to be rude but DH would never eat from a neighbor. He won't even eat at the homes of some family members or his friends.

 

[ANUBIS]

so wheres tha spagetti thread uke:

 

[1Aleeesha]

Yes she betta back away from my man.

 

[DMJ's Mom]

As long as she's giving him food for the both of us (or at least offering me some of the food she gives him) then I'm ok with it. Now if she's not even acknowledging the fact that he's got an SO (ie only giving him a one sized portion) then I'm going to be upset about it.

 

[hopeful]

I think if you offer others as well you should be fine. Then no one can say you are singling him out.

Back to OP: There was a similar situation on King of Queens where Spence's girlfriend was in culinary school, Doug was the taste tester and Carrie wasn't having any of it.

Me personally, I wouldn't stand for it. Its either for the family or no one. And to be honest, even if it were for the family, I wouldn't want it to happen to often. I can take care of my own.

My Pastor's wife said this in church Sunday. She was like I may be small but that doesn't mean I can't cook. Then she said something similiar to the bolded. I was like oooh who is she talking about.

As long as she's giving him food for the both of us (or at least offering me some of the food she gives him) then I'm ok with it. Now if she's not even acknowledging the fact that he's got an SO (ie only giving him a one sized portion) then I'm going to be upset about it.

Now that is a problem.

 

[honeybadgirl]

its been said enough but no no no!!!

 

[tocktick]

It's fascinating that most people are putting the blame on X (i.e - the neighbour) when:

1) he was the one to first talk about her cooking
2) he then went on to ask for a plate
3) he was the one suggesting this to be a weekly thing

He initiated it all and fuelled it's progression into almost being a regular thing. By focusing too much on the woman, this dude's questionable actions would go unnoticed. He needs to be checked about boundaries because it doesn't seem like she's even feeling him in that way at all. To be clear, I would be against this unless included me.

 

[Lucie]

Nip this mess in the bud. Some women are not as simple as they seem. Not to say that your neighbor is doing this, but what if she is putting some love potions or spells in that food. One poster already mentioned spaghetti. Most West Indian men I know won't eat from a woman unless it's wife, sister, or mother. Uh uh! No way Jose!

 

[Xerxes]

a thread that discussed women who put their menstrual blood in spaghetti so that their men can stay with them. I'm not sure if it's voodoo or not

Oh hell naw!

 

[hopeful]

Wow, this is making me re-think some of my behavior. I have a married male co-worker that absolutely LOVES food. I haven't seen anything like it! He eats everything! I pack my lunch a lot, and because we work in a small office where everyone sees what you have, I have on several occassions offered him some of the food that I have prepared. Sometimes I even offer him food that I have bought, especially if I have a large amount. I never really thought of it as a problem until I read this post. I most def. do not have any "intentions" towards him, I think more than anything it's about me not wanting to tear up some food in front of people without offering them some (and he is usually the only one up in my plate though I have shared with others), so sometimes I even pack extra to share. Anywho, I would hate for him or his wife to think I was trying to get to him through his stomach. Should I stop sharing my food? I totally respect their marriage so I don't want to cause any drama!

For some reason your post kept coming across my mind today. I think that when you and he are sharing food you should imagine how you, he, and his wife would feel if his wife were to pay a suprise visit to the office and suddenly come upon you two. If you think it would be like whatever and hello then there probably isn't a problem. If you think one or all of you would possibly feel odd or uncomfortable then I would rethink sharing food with him. Single women/men and married men/women should only mingle so much imo. Even if you have no feelings for him, he may develop some for you. I think what you are doing is a sweet gesture, but you just have to be careful.

 

[loved]

Girl, NO!

Home cooked food is a way of showing love, care, and affection.
It's 1 of the reasons people bring it when a family is in mourning.
I'm driving to see my family tomorrow and a pan of mac and cheese will be waiting for me. My GF beat my GM like a dog when they were young, but when he was old, alone and losing his mind, she made sure that some1 took him three plates of food every day.

 

[deltagyrl]

I say heck naw.

I was friends with a married couple and the husband was always asking me to cook for him.
His wife didn't/couldn't cook. He would call me to find out what we were having for dinner and want to "swing by" for a plate. My ex hated it.

Eventually this man came onto me and when he was listing the things he found attractive about me, my cooking was in the top 3.

 

[SaNyjh]

It's fascinating that most people are putting the blame on X (i.e - the neighbour) when:

1) he was the one to first talk about her cooking
2) he then went on to ask for a plate
3) he was the one suggesting this to be a weekly thing

He initiated it all and fuelled it's progression into almost being a regular thing. By focusing too much on the woman, this dude's questionable actions would go unnoticed. He needs to be checked about boundaries because it doesn't seem like she's even feeling him in that way at all. To be clear, I would be against this unless included me.

BUMPING.......................
This post is so true.

 

[Lishaboo]

A way to a man's heart is thur his stomach................