Can you pay my bills?

[Summer_Rain]

Goood morning ladies!

Question: At what point, if any at all - do you expect an SO/man that you're dating to pay your bills? He isn't your hubby and you aren't engaged. For the sake of this discussion - we'll say that you've been together for less than a year, and it isn't an emergency type situation.

I was having a discussion with an associate this weekend and every time we talk she asks if the/a guy I'm dating has "paid any of [my] bills yet". I'll say something like "I've only known him for 2 months, why would he??" or "I don't need him to pay my bills". She always gives me this raised eye brow look as if to suggest that I'm doing something "wrong".

I know someone else who has no problem whatsoever with asking a guy to pay her rent within a month or so of knowing him. I just don't get it.

Discuss.

 

[dlewis]

I never asked anyone I was dating to pay my bills. One guy helped me alot in college, paid my tuition, grocery bills and other expenses. But he was in a position to do that. DH when we were dating would give me money just because and so did other guys.

I don't think I could or would ask even if I needed it.

I wonder what these women are giving up to get these things.

I know one of DH cousins that has a man for every bill. And when I see her I always think her coochie must stink and be hella stretched.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

i wouldn't expect for a man to pay my bills ever. why would i, after all, they are MY bills. if he offered to help thats fine, but its not epected unless he knows im in some sort of financial trouble and has the means to help out. but i would never just expect a man to pay my bills for no reason at all.

 

[Shimmie]

If you are living together as a couple (married or otherwise) that's the only reason I see 'sharing' the bills.

My Advise: Enjoy your relationship! DO NOT LET FOOLISH WOMEN WHO HAVE ISSUES WITH PAST BAD RELATIONSHIPS GIVE YOU DUMB ADVISE. THEY CANNOT LIVE THEIR LIVES THROUGH YOURS.

Sorry, SummerRain. I'm not yelling at you. It's just that some women have a jealous spirit when they seen another woman in a happy 'new' relationship. AND they want to spew their unhappy spirit into YOUR business with a bunch of foolishness.

Summer, you know what you expect from your man and he knows what he expects from you. Instead of listening to a foolish woman's dumb presumptions, talk to him instead and ONLY him. Work it, fight it out, love it out, but let it be with him and no one else.

This woman is crazy. Because just think about it. If you were to bring this up to your 'new' man, that you expected him to pay your bills or one of yours, it would open up a can of ugly wombs. It would put a damper upon your bonding season which is very important right now.

Never let money be an issue in a relationship. It's only money! Work on building the two of you with respect, and trust and love; and leave the rest of the mess outside where it belongs. Money should never be an issue in a relationship. It's really not all that important.

Men do not have to pay your bills just to prove that he loves you or is committed to you. Love is not about money, it's about time, love and trust. Everything else will follow. For where a man's heart is, his treasures will follow, naturally. He will just naturally share what he has with you financially without you having to ask or beat it out of him.

God bless you and your new fella'. BTW: I have 3 Reggie's in my family AND they are very handsome, indeed.

Take care, angel.

 

[cocoberry10]

I know one of DH cousins that has a man for every bill. And when I see her I always think her coochie must stink and be hella stretched.

 

[klb120475]

If you are living together as a couple (married or otherwise) that's the only reason I see 'sharing' the bills.

My Advise: Enjoy your relationship! DO NOT LET FOOLISH WOMEN WHO HAVE ISSUES WITH PAST BAD RELATIONSHIPS GIVE YOU DUMB ADVISE. THEY CANNOT LIVE THEIR LIVES THROUGH YOURS.

Sorry, SummerRain. I'm not yelling at you. It's just that some women have a jealous spirit when they seen another woman in happy 'new' relationship. AND they want to spew their unhappy spirit into YOUR business with a bunch of foolishness.

Summer, you know what you expect from your man and he knows what he expects from you. Instead of listening to a foolish woman's dumb presumptions, talk to him instead and ONLY him. Work it, fight it out, love it out, but let it be with him and no one else.

This woman is crazy. Because just think about it. If you were to bring this up to your 'new' man, that you expected him to pay your bills or one of yours, it would open up a can of ugly wombs. It would put a damper upon your bonding season which is very important right now.

Never let money be an issue in a relationship. It's only money! Work on building the two of you with respect, and trust and love; and leave the rest of the mess outside where it belongs. Money should never be an issue in a relationship. It's really not all that important.

Men do not have to pay your bills just to prove that he loves you or is committed to you. Love is not about money, it's about time, love and trust. Everything else will follow. For where a man's heart is, his treasures will follow, naturally. He will just naturally share what he has with you financially without you having to ask or beat it out of him.

God bless you and your new fella'. BTW: I have 3 Reggie's in my family AND they are very handsome, indeed.

Take care, angel.

I like that.....

 

[Dee-Licious]

I expect him to pay my bills when they become OUR bills. But if we've been together for a while and a problem arises it would be nice for him to step in.

At this point in my life I don't believe in asking a dude for money, but I believe in accepting gifts.

 

[Shimmie]

I expect him to pay my bills when they become OUR bills. But if we've been together for a while and a problem arises it would be nice for him to step in.

At this point in my life I don't believe in asking a dude for money, but I believe in accepting gifts.

Oohhhhh, I love presents. I can create lots of 'occasions' to receive them.

 

[Dee-Licious]

Oohhhhh, I love presents. I can create lots of 'occasions' to receive them.

hmmm.. good idea. I'm about to start creating darn occasions!!! Next dude gone have some work to put in.

I'm about to start being spoiled like my daddy did me and does my mama.

 

[locabouthair]

Goood morning ladies!

Question: At what point, if any at all - do you expect an SO/man that you're dating to pay your bills? He isn't your hubby and you aren't engaged. For the sake of this discussion - we'll say that you've been together for less than a year, and it isn't an emergency type situation.

I was having a discussion with an associate this weekend and every time we talk she asks if the/a guy I'm dating has "paid any of [my] bills yet". I'll say something like "I've only known him for 2 months, why would he??" or "I don't need him to pay my bills". She always gives me this raised eye brow look as if to suggest that I'm doing something "wrong".

I know someone else who has no problem whatsoever with asking a guy to pay her rent within a month or so of knowing him. I just don't get it.

Discuss.

I don't get it either. I could never ask a guy to pay for my rent or my bills. What type of ish is that? I don't even ask my mom for money. I dunno I guess I have too much pride. I feel better knowing that I can support myself financially without anyone's help.

If I was a guy and a girl asked me to pay her bills I'd drop her with the quickness. Just being real.

BUT if he offers to pay it then I guess it's ok. But I still wouldnt let him.

 

[Shimmie]

I like that.....

Haven't you noticed how some women immediately criticize' a new relationship? They don't want to see someone else happy because they are not happy. The devil is always trying to 'mess' something up.

"We're" not stupid! We have enough sense to realize when a man needs to 'step-up' with something in our relationships. We do! And that's when we go on 'lockdown'...."Clank, Clank"

 

[candy1214]

Haven't you noticed how some women immediately criticize' a new relationship? They don't want to see someone else happy because they are not happy. The devil is always trying to 'mess' something up.

"We're" not stupid! We have enough sense to realize when a man needs to 'step-up' with something in our relationships. We do! And that's when we go on 'lockdown'...."Clank, Clank"

YES YES AND YES!! You give the best advice Shimmie!!

 

[Allandra]

I have never (and will never) ask any man I'm dating to pay any of my bills. I find it amazing that some women expect to have their bills paid by the man they're dating.

 

[klb120475]

Keep the advice coming ladies. I'm new to dating and I'm taking notes.

 

[SkinnyMocah]

I follow Dave Ramsey's advice. He advises that no couple should be responsible for each other's bills until they have become One. His bills don't become my bills till HE becomes MINE. The day we get married my bills become OUR bills. His bills become OUR bills.

Up to that point, all we will share is a joint checking and savings for common costs. I won't be living with any man so I will be paying my own bills till I become Mrs Him.

Women in Atlanta seem to think that having a man means getting your bills paid, and it's annoying to be approached by a man who says 'hey my name is Mark. Just to be clear, I'm not giving you any money and I am not paying any of your bills. How are you doing?'

Annoying.

 

[dlewis]

Haven't you noticed how some women immediately criticize' a new relationship? They don't want to see someone else happy because they are not happy. The devil is always trying to 'mess' something up.

"We're" not stupid! We have enough sense to realize when a man needs to 'step-up' with something in our relationships. We do! And that's when we go on 'lockdown'...."Clank, Clank"

I have (had) friends like that and they are still single and wanting my married boring life.

 

[PatTodd]

I'm not sure if it is the type of woman that I am or the type of men that I have chosen, but I have never ever had a man either pay or offer to pay a bill for me. Not that I wouldn't have let him if he offered!!

My sisters, on the other hand, basically expect their men to give them an "allowance"...!

 

[Ms Red]

I agree with Shimmie. I have never asked my SO to 'pay my bills.' We are enjoying the relationship without the hassle of monetary expectations- I think that is how courtship should be. The only time we would combine finances (joint and separate accounts, sharing mortgage, etc.) is upon marriage.

 

[cocosweet]

I follow Dave Ramsey's advice. He advises that no couple should be responsible for each other's bills until they have become One. His bills don't become my bills till HE becomes MINE. The day we get married my bills become OUR bills. His bills become OUR bills.

Up to that point, all we will share is a joint checking and savings for common costs. I won't be living with any man so I will be paying my own bills till I become Mrs Him.

Women in Atlanta seem to think that having a man means getting your bills paid, and it's annoying to be approached by a man who says 'hey my name is Mark. Just to be clear, I'm not giving you any money and I am not paying any of your bills. How are you doing?'

Annoying.

Dang! Its come to that? I see why guys would develop such a defense mechanism but, wow. Too many women think that having a man (we ain't even talking about husband) equals having a meal cell phone, clothes, hair, nails,etc. ticket.

 

[Finesse]

JMO....but to be dating a man and expecting him to pay your bills is tacky. And if you are having sex with him and expect him to pay your bills because of that, well that is prostitution.


If a man asked a chick he was dating to pay his bills....he would be every no good suchamuch on the planet, a gigalo, a male ho, the whole nine.



It works both ways....if no marriage, no bills paid. Now if the person you are dating gets a bind and you can help I think it would be kind and nice thing to do.

 

[FRO-EVER 21]

I’d never expect him to pay my bills that I have acquired prior to our dating. Now that we live together, we pay our household bills (rent, electricity, food, etc…) together. We pay our credit card bills separately and that works out fine for us. He’s helping me pay the school loans, so it get paid off faster.

 

[MzLady78]

Never.

I'm not the type to ask anybody for financial help, especially a man.

 

[soulfusion]

I never asked anyone I was dating to pay my bills. One guy helped me alot in college, paid my tuition, grocery bills and other expenses. But he was in a position to do that. DH when we were dating would give me money just because and so did other guys.

I don't think I could or would ask even if I needed it.

I wonder what these women are giving up to get these things.

I know one of DH cousins that has a man for every bill. And when I see her I always think her coochie must stink and be hella stretched.

lol! my friend's sister is the SAME way and I've thought the SAME thing. And she seems more proud of this "accomplishment" than she is of her children. it's always a conversation piece with her and she looks crazy at any single woman who doesn't have the same setup.

 

[cocosweet]

lol! my friend's sister is the SAME way and I've thought the SAME thing. And she seems more proud of this "accomplishment" than she is of her children. it's always a conversation piece with her and she looks crazy at any single woman who doesn't have the same setup.

I also wonder, why are these guys complying? I'd think it make them feel used. But Ionno, I can't get inside a man's head.

 

[dlewis]

lol! my friend's sister is the SAME way and I've thought the SAME thing. And she seems more proud of this "accomplishment" than she is of her children. it's always a conversation piece with her and she looks crazy at any single woman who doesn't have the same setup.

This may be the same woman. All she works and has a good job.

 

[gymfreak336]

When me and my current bf started dating he helped me on my cable bill once or twice but that was it. When we started living together we started sharing all of the bills. Due to some family situations he wasn't able to help much for a couple of months which was cool because we have a good balance of give and take going on. Now, he pays the rent and I handle the lights. I have more work to do in school right now so he is picking up the slack.

 

[glamazon386]

Goood morning ladies!

Question: At what point, if any at all - do you expect an SO/man that you're dating to pay your bills? He isn't your hubby and you aren't engaged. For the sake of this discussion - we'll say that you've been together for less than a year, and it isn't an emergency type situation.

I was having a discussion with an associate this weekend and every time we talk she asks if the/a guy I'm dating has "paid any of [my] bills yet". I'll say something like "I've only known him for 2 months, why would he??" or "I don't need him to pay my bills". She always gives me this raised eye brow look as if to suggest that I'm doing something "wrong".

I know someone else who has no problem whatsoever with asking a guy to pay her rent within a month or so of knowing him. I just don't get it.

Discuss.

When he offers.... I've never asked a man for anything. If they want to do it, then they will on their own. If he doesn't, it doesn't matter. I've been taking care of me all this time and will continue to do so.

 

[UmSumayyah]

If we're not married I'm not asking him to pay any bills.
Unless we're engaged and it's time to cut a check to the caterer for the wedding.

 

[aliceo]

I expect him to pay my bills when they become OUR bills. But if we've been together for a while and a problem arises it would be nice for him to step in.

At this point in my life I don't believe in asking a dude for money, but I believe in accepting gifts.

I really agree with this. Otherwise, if he wants to pay for dinner or a movies that's cool.

 

[shynessqueen]

Never.

I'm not the type to ask anybody for financial help, especially a man.

What she said.


It kills me how some women run around saying they are independent. Then in the next breath, they are asking some man to pay their bills and get upset when the man say no. Dump him and try to find the next man she think will pay her bills. Wow that's really being independent.