How often do you pay for things on dates with your boo?

[MissYocairis]

My SO does this too. When we go together to the grocery store and I pick out my own groceries, obviously I pay for them, but when I am home alone, he will often stop by with several bags of groceries so that "you won't be hungry throughout the week" or because he heard me say earlier that I fancied a certain fruit or what have you.

I myself am not "traditional" (i.e. gender-role-bound) and I don't necessarily think my SO is either; he treats everyone solicitously and with excess helpfulness/courtesy (including men), so he goes above and beyond for me.

He sounds dreamy. I love the way you described him in the bolded. Very sweet.

 

[YankeeCandle]

He sounds dreamy. I love the way you described him in the bolded. Very sweet.

That's sweet of you to say; thank you. He is the kindest and most materially and emotionally generous human being I've ever encountered (and my family has some real "saints" in it, too).

While how a romantic partner treats you yourself is of course important, I think we should also pay close attention to how they treat others--both friends and strangers. It can reveal an awful lot about their innermost character.

 

[Ms Red]

He pays most of the time. I offer to tip, I offer to pay for parking and when I have cooked at his place, I bring all of the groceries and ingredients for the meal (He usually provides dessert)

 

[Spongie Bloom]

He pays for everything, I have never paid for anything with a boyfriend, present or ex

 

[Charlie555]

With my ex he paid for everything. I wasn't allowed to even attempt to reach for the check. Even if it was my suggestion or a high end restaurant. My grandma told me that when a man takes a lady out she shouldn't have to go in her purse for anything but lipstick.

OP don't start paying for everything on the dates too soon because in the begining this sets the tone for the relationship. Next thing you know he will be sitting back wait for you to grab the check.

 

[yokoyokogirl]

What about trips?

How does that work? If you're in an exclusive relationship with your SO and he plans a trip for you both, should you contribute?

Example-he pays for hotel and transport, should you offer to pay for meals and snacks?

 

[Godyssey]

I'm pretty old fashioned in this area, and I expect the man that I'm with, to be the same. He pays for everything, opens doors, etc. This is what I was taught by my father and grandfather, that a man should take care of or treat me as they treated me... or better.

Although, I did pay once when I was dating a guy. It was a double date skating outing. My date was going to pay for me and my friends date was going to pay for her.

However, at the last minute, I decided to bring my little sister along. I didn't think it would be fair for my date to pay for my sister too. Also, I wasn't sure if he was so happy about her tagging along. Yet, he seemed fine, and insisted to pay for my sister and I, but I sneaked in front and payed for us 3. That was the only time though.

 

[MahoganyJazz]

I pay... with his money.

 

[LadyPaniolo]

When I was dating I did NOT reach for the check. Some men get an attitude about that... which is fine. They would never see hide nor hair of me again! Going Dutch is great in the Netherlands! But not around here. You know what, scratch that. If I were hypothetically to deal with a Dutchman he'd better recognize from the jump! I'm not paying, period. A gentleman handles that, not a lady. If I have to pay ONE time it will be the LAST time.

Now that I'm married it's par for the course that DH pays. Being a SAHM I don't really have money of my own anyway (except what he gives to me out of his salary).

 

[MissYocairis]

What about trips?

How does that work? If you're in an exclusive relationship with your SO and he plans a trip for you both, should you contribute?

Example-he pays for hotel and transport, should you offer to pay for meals and snacks?

No ma'am. He pays. He pays for it all and he is HAPPY to do it. He knows he's getting the unimaginable benefit of your time and your companionship and this is a great gift. Let him pay. Now, if you feel awkward, buy him one breakfast or one lunch on the trip. That's IT. Or, a souvenir tee or keyring. That's IT. Nothing more.